"Confound it!"

"You hit too close!"

"Pipe down, please! Who knows what might come upon us if we are too loud…"

"Pft! I can care less right now! Whatever this thing the others made is absolutely useless!"

Ellindë pressed both hands against his ever sensitive ears. Even when sitting in a branch in a tree, Ulcawë sure is loud!

The Noldo was fretting about another "arrow" being broken, while Melehton was pointing the obvious about Ulcawë shooting too close to their target tree (which happened to be the one Ellindë was perched in). Apparently the inventors of this new devise were Teleri. Before anyone was able to make bigger versions of the thing, Telerin hunters were sent out to test the bow (while the Noldor were too hasty to let the others come back with results). The three Noldor here were rather tall anyway, Ellindë being eight feet, Melehton seven foot seven, and Ulcawë at seven foot ten. By that ratio alone and that most the Teleri were a little shorter than the average Noldo, the bows ended up being mere sticks in the eyes of this trio.

From Ellindë's perspective, Ulcawë was really too close to the tree. Why was he so close? Well…they could not hit the tree for the life of them, and figured being closer would be better until they got it right. Melehton could get the arrow placed correctly against the bow, but was unable to aim that well. Ulcawë lacked any kind of skill handling "the piece of twig", and Ellindë prior to settling in his tree was the only one that had skill and was able to hit the target the most.

Despite the proficiency, Ellindë was quite disconcerted hitting something he knew was alive and that moved. He was past the point of being disturbed that the trees were being cut for the sake of spears and other things made of wood, so it did not bother him too much. The tree did not seem to mind, so that was a comfort…But did it feel? It did not give any sign of hurt; it in fact rustled as if it was relieved seeing this. Why would a tree be relieved to be shot at? The Noldo was beyond the stage of confusion with everything going on. Trees were strange to begin with…maybe they knew something the elves didn't.

He looked down to see Ulcawë finally calming down, "I think that is enough arrows used. If…they are so important, let us not waste them." Most of the arrows were beginning to have blunted tips and many were on the verge of breaking.

"My thoughts exactly," Melehton ripped the bow out of Ulcawë's hands. He frowned deeply, "Good stars, your grip just about broke this into thirds!"

Ellindë carefully climbed down the tree to join his companions, and nearly winced at the damage done to the bow, "I agree…"

Ulcawë folded his arms then, "I am sure both of you wanted to mangle something after you have been feeling frustrated for a bit." His tone was calm.

"Of course, but not nearly as bad as this…" Ellindë sighed.

"No matter," Melehton butted in, "This is useless now." He glared at Ulcawë, "Now I wonder if you should be handling that spear."

"I have control over that!" Ulcawë hissed, "If I remember it was you fumbling on how to hold it right…"

Ellindë was standing nigh between both the arguing Noldor. To say the least they were both tense and…wary, more so out here since they were away from the rest of their kin. Still, Ellindë was not sure why this was a constant, despite he was getting a small taste of what the others dealt with most the time, being out here in the wild.

It was something though, and the nér was beginning to understand it a little bit.

He looked around the spruce and beech forest, a crow cawing every now and then, a breeze blowing…the other two's argument was very short, and they stood with heads bowed, yet in prepared silence.

The quiet was very unsettling, at least for Ellindë.

"There is a spring a little up the way from here," Ulcawë finally broke it, "We find that, and see if the bushes have regrown their fruits after their last picking."

By going from memory and familiar landmarks, the small spring was found. The beeches still covered most the sky, though there were some viewpoints beneath the canopy. Much to Ulcawë's disappointment, none of the bushes had ripened berries. Ellindë learned the hard way with their nasty taste. He felt horrifically stupid and blushed furiously; despite the fact the other two said nothing. Just them letting him learn on his own was bad enough. Actually, if he was told, he would have ended up being embarrassed anyway. It was not his fault that he was getting peckish though…

Little could be brought with any party. When it came to water, they had to drink directly from the springs they discovered. As for sustenance…it was whatever they could find, or they had to go back to the lake before it became a problem.

The cool waters felt good in their throats and on some dry patches of dirty skin. Ellindë sat on a slab of rock while gazing towards the heavens, always finding constant delight in seeing the majesty of the stars and auroras. Ulcawë was chipping away at some blunt arrows, and Melehton stood along the edge of the tiny plain. Ellindë and Ulcawë spoke idly. The hunger only grew as time slowly went on.

"I will explore the area further…" Melehton at last spoke.

"You know you should not go alone."

"I know that, but-"

"We all go back to Kuiviénen or stay together."

"Prey will not come to us if we stand idle…"

Ellindë looked away from his stars. Prey?

Ulcawë sighed, "Do not go too far."

"I will leave marks behind me." With that Melehton vanished.

"What is he on about?" Ellindë asked quietly, "…what are you both talking about?"

Ulcawë had a somber look, giving the elder an odd glance, "It is our hopes we can show the harsh reality of our situation…everyone's situation."

Again with that talk. Irritation was clearly visible on the nér's face just then, "What is so harsh about this? You all keep the rest of us blind to whatever this "reality" is."

"It is for your own good, at least for those who have no interest beyond the great lake." Ulcawë's face grew even darker, "Why this is kept away from everyone, as if they were like the children, is because it is too difficult to explain. All you have ever known is laule, not ñgurū."

Ellindë fell blank and was again lost, and it made him angry at himself, though he did not show it (it radiated off of him). With a controlled voice, showing no emotion… "What…is ñgurū?"

Ulcawë kept a dark, nearly harsh, expression, and his hard tone did not change, "The opposite of laule."

Ellindë could not think of a way to answer that. As much as he hated being corrected on many topics, this one he had no idea…The opposite of life is…not moving, breathing, seeing…

That does not make any sense though. A tree is alive, flowers are as well. The thought was interrupted as a massive snap was heard from somewhere. Ulcawë leapt to his feet and quickly, yet silently followed the source. Ellindë flocked behind…

The incline increased somewhat though they both continued on. Ellindë was sure it was not worth going on a chase to…whatever, but Ulcawë was persistent, and the slightly older elf would not have it being left alone. Ulcawë probably would not have allowed it either. There was a decent sized rock with a flat surface. Ellindë was the first to climb it, and seeing what was there…he was left awe struck.

A beautiful, great, beast was grazing peacefully. The rack on its head was grand. It was also not aware of its pursuers.

"What…? O stars," Ellindë was left in a daze, admiringly staring at the beautiful creature, for it was the first time he ever saw such a thing. There had to more! Maybe different shapes? Oh, he was glad to have come out away from the lake. A living, breathing, moving animal…

But the joy was horribly short lived with the words he heard next.

"Shoot it."

Ellindë's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets and almost gasped aloud. Shoot it?! How could they harm such a marvelous thing? Maybe…it was a different thing Ulcawë was referring to? With great uncertainty he withdrew the bow and grabbed a sharp arrow. He knew those things could cause damage, as he accidently pricked himself with one. Blood was not a new sight…though he still was confused at what Ulcawë wanted to do. Was there something else present? The nér searched…searched…nothing, "Shoot what?"

"The stag, of course!" Ulcawë shout whispered.

At once Ellindë paled. The arrow was already set to be released, though the nér was too petrified to do so. Even if he was not frozen, he still would not have done so, "Why? What harm has it done to be hurt? We will not see the likes of it again if…"

"We will see plenty of its kind despite the fact," Ulcawë's tone was cold, yet in his eyes was obvious sadness and perhaps pity. His strong hand laid hold of Ellindë's frozen forearm, purposely moving the point of the arrow towards the deer's head, "Nól Ñgurūna Alat-si."

Ellindë had no time to fully understand what that statement meant, when Ulcawë pulled his arm further back, enough that the hand holding the arrow slipped his grasp and…

Thwip!

The arrow flew through the air right through the side of the stag's face, nearly straight in the eye. It let out a loud high pitched bugle, a sound Ellindë would never forget as the agony, confusion, and fear of the animal's cry rang through his bones. With a mighty thud it collapsed onto its side: dead.

Shocked and horrified silence was in the air after the animal's fall. Ellindë stared with great sorrow and horror, looking at the pool of blood forming beneath the creature's head. Without even thinking he tossed the bow aside, leaping off the rock to approach the animal. It was not breathing…it was not moving…its lifeless eye staring right at the elf who was forced to shoot.

It then dawned to him what death was. It was sickening; a miserable experience, and Ellindë knelt down to weep silently; any form of dignity lost for the present moment.

How long he remained like that, he was not sure, nor did he care. It felt like an eternity for the most part. Grief and terror was strong. With the realization with what was done to animals to get his clothes, he almost felt violated, and was moving a shaky hand to strip himself of those skins. He would not, could not, wear the skins of dead things anymore…

"Do not do that, else your scent will be discovered by things that want to kill you."

Ellindë's head turned sharply up towards Ulcawë, anger boiling, "W-why did you make me do it!?" he stood up and backed away, "I do not care if I will be exposed…It is better for me to lay naked and suffer through what they had to for our sake!"

Ulcawë obviously was not phased. He did not seem annoyed, as now the pity and slight sorrow had spread onto his face, "You wanted to know," was all he said.

Ellindë did not remove his clothing, once more acknowledging that Ulcawë would not allow it. He stared at the stronger Noldo, then back to the carcass of his own kill.

There was no going back now; nothing could change any of this…

Wordlessly Ellindë darted towards a spruce tree and climbed; climbed to the highest point it reached…

As a Noldo, he did not have the same amount of agility that the Teleri possessed, but somehow, if not with some difficulty, managed to get very high. If Ellindë was not already overwhelmed, the sight just unsettled his mind even more.

One could see for miles. To the east Kuiviénen stood out with its shining glittering waters. To the west, it had no trees after a distance. It was an endless sea of grass.

That reminded Ellindë of his dream, and he shrunk against the top of the tree's trunk. That must have been the edge of the world, and with new knowledge of death…

Again he gasped and clutched desperately to a branch, and the tree did the best it could to comfort the disturbed elf by rustling its leaves, somehow a song being made in the process.

It worked a little bit, but when Ellindë turned his head North…

There were absolutely no stars to be seen. It was just a mass of black, with faint colors of red and orange like fire. Dread came as a sudden wave…

The thought of no stars terrified him, but not as much as the sight of that black darkness. Immediately Ellindë began to skid down the tree, leaping off every branch as he made his descent down back to the earth.

"It still hurts me greatly too, Ulcawë," Melehton sighed sadly gazing upon the stag. He came running after the sound of its death-bugle, and was both glad and sad. Glad that it was Ulcawë and possibly Ellindë, who probably was somewhere nearby, and sad, because every sight of an animal dead was a horrid thing for him. One desire he held was to spend time with these creatures. There were some occasions where he simply followed and held a bunny in his hands, before letting it go and then going about his own business.

Ulcawë was more straightforward though. If it must be done, then it must be done, even though killing also brought misery upon his heart as well, "You must learn to steel your heart; the both of you. Everyone in fact…"

"Oh, I am sure there are plenty that are like you…but the rest…nay, I fear we will never get used to it."

Both turned abruptly at the sound of branches rustling, and…breaking. Both of them did not want to have to kill another animal, more so for the sake of their friend, and hauling the massive stag would be a labor by itself. Luckily, it was Ellindë who came half falling out of the tree in a near craze. He landed on both feet but fell on his knees soon after.

"Great sky above, melnā, this is not how anyone should react to their first hunt!" Ulcawë exclaimed as he hauled his shaken kinsman onto his feet.

Ellindë shook his head drastically, trembling as he took some deep breaths, "I-it is not t-the stag…"

"What, then?" Melehton asked with equal amount of concern, but also bewilderment at what he was talking about.

Ellindë gave both the elves a pleading look on his melancholy face, "I-if you m-must know…J-just climb a tree, to the top…Do not ask me anything," he looked down, "We should head back…"

"You go then," Ulcawë stepped back once Ellindë got his bearings, "Send some others to us, we might need help with-"

Ellindë was already running blindly through the forest back to Kuiviénen by then. He did not have the landmarks fully put into his mind. Instead, it was some strange yet loving voice beckoning to its child to return to his place of awakening.

Come swiftly, my son…thy comfort and assurance awaits thee hither…

Laule = life

Ñgurū = death

Nól Ñgurūna Alat-si = Welcome to the knowledge of death

A/N I am quite proud of myself seeing how long this turned out, despite the fact it is a rather sad chapter. :( I do this stuff to my poor elves. The image I had in my head with my poor ellon (elf) in the tree after killing the animal was quite...epic, in its own way. :)