Plot Synopsis: To Gibbs' dismay, Elizabeth demands to be told what sex is. He's relieved he has Jenny to do it this time, but in their situation, the amusing awkwardness of telling a child about sex is dampened by a history of sexual assault. Jenny and Gibbs have to navigate ensuring Elizabeth has a healthy understanding of what sex is, and how it differs from what happened to her sister.
Sex Talks
February, 1999.
Gibbs was heavily focused on shaping a particularly difficult nick on one of the boat's ribs – a result of some roughhousing that had gone on down here the last time he let DiNozzo babysit the kids. He pressed his tongue against his teeth purposefully, narrowing his eyes. It was rare that NCIS was so ahead on cases that he could take off early, and he had been down here for about two hours. He hadn't been interrupted since Kelly got home from school and Jenny got home from her shift, and while that had been a nice interruption, he wanted to fix up this part of the boat before—
The door upstairs slammed dramatically and he heard a bang—suspiciously like a soccer ball hitting a wall—the dog started howling, and footsteps dashed across the floor.
-Elizabeth got home.
"Daddy!" she bellowed, flinging open the basement door and darting down the stairs.
The only thing that kept him from screwing up the boat more than it had already been damaged was impeccable Marine training. He glared at the spot for a moment, then straightened up, lowered the tools in his hands to his sides and looked over at his youngest daughter.
She stood eagerly on the landing, bouncing on the balls of her feet. She had a little duffle bag over her shoulder, which had her school clothes in it, and she was in her soccer practice uniform—t-shirt, shorts, cleats, and dirt and grass all over her. Her hair was falling out of the neat ponytail Jenny always fixed it in before she dropped Lizzy off at practice.
"Hey, Lizard," Gibbs said warmly.
She took the steps down and ran over to him for a hug. Lizzy was still young enough to immediately want a hug from Daddy when she hadn't seen him all day—she was always waiting at the door when he got home from work.
"Mom said you were home early. She said you're having dinner with us!" she said excitedly, blowing bangs out of her face.
He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and ruffled her hair gently, tugging on her loose ponytail.
"I'm even cookin' it," he confirmed.
She beamed—he usually didn't get home from work until seven or eight o'clock, an hour or so after Jenny had the girls fed and doing homework. Elizabeth hugged him tighter, and sprang back. He pushed her hair back and flicked her on the nose gently, glaring at her mildly.
"How was practice?" he asked.
"I had to sit out again for the last thirty minutes, 'cause I tripped a girl."
"Liz."
"She was holding my jersey!"
"Liz, being a good sport means—"
"Being respectful even when the ref sucks, yeah," she recited, folding her arms. She cocked her head at him and grinned. She bounced up and down on her cleats again—Elizabeth's boundless energy was amusing, but sometimes exhausting; she'd never quite gotten rid of the wildness of her toddler years, she'd only gotten smarter.
"School okay?" he asked.
She nodded rapidly.
"You said hi to Mom yet?"
She shook her head, and put a hand on her hip.
"I'm glad you're home, because I need you to tell me something," she informed him seriously, fixing her sharp eyes on his.
He looked at her warily.
"Yes?"
"Lily's parents are getting divorced," Elizabeth announced, whispering the last word—she picked it up from her grandmother, for some reason, Joanne always whispered the word divorce.
Gibbs frowned—Lily was one of Elizabeth's soccer friends.
"Know why?"
"No, Lizzy," Gibbs said, leaning against the boat. "Is Lily upset?"
Elizabeth waved her hand.
"They're getting divorced because Lily's mommy," Elizabeth took a deep breath, "had sex with someone else."
Gibbs dropped the tools in his hands. He winced at the sound they made as they clattered, and stared at Elizabeth. She raised her eyebrows primly and nodded, as if to drive the point home, and then she folded her arms in a businesslike manner.
"Lily said she heard her daddy yell at her mom about it."
Gibbs said nothing.
Elizabeth gave him an impatient look.
"Did Lily tell you what that means?" Gibbs asked finally, crouching down to pick up his tools. He gripped them tightly, hoping to god some little punk hadn't been filling Elizabeth's head with idiotic—
"No," Elizabeth said indignantly. "She said only parents know what it is. That's what I need you to tell me."
"What?" he asked, purposely avoiding.
"Do you know what sex is?" she asked loudly.
"No," he answered dumbly.
Elizabeth looked baffled.
"You don't?"
He grit his teeth and sighed quietly.
"Yes," he amended.
He could have kicked himself—he'd done this before, hadn't he? He set the tools aside, reached up, and rubbed his jaw. He figured he was just taken aback—Kelly had been precocious about all things, including being interested in adults kissing or Disney princesses falling in love, but Elizabeth had shown zero interest in anything that got close to the realm of sex or romance. He also had to acknowledge that since about five years ago, the topic of sex in his household had been more complicated than he'd ever been prepared to deal with.
On that note—he suddenly remembered he didn't have to do this.
He looked at Elizabeth, standing there expectantly, tapping her small foot, and he suddenly grinned smugly—as a single father, he'd had to give Kelly this talk right on the heels of his first wife's death, but Jenny had promised him with a laugh that she'd do it for Elizabeth. He cleared his throat and strode forward, resting his hands on Elizabeth's shoulders and turning her firmly towards the stairs. He marched her out of the basement, through the laundry room, and into the living room—where Jen and Kelly were absorbed in conversation over some television show.
Elizabeth let her bag fall to the floor with a thud, and Gibbs guided her around and stood in front of the television, obscuring the view and presenting her delicately to his wife.
"Lizzy," Jenny greeted pleasantly. She clicked her tongue. "Ran right past me to the basement, such a Daddy's girl," she laughed.
Elizabeth opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, Gibbs cut her off.
"Elizabeth would like to know what sex is," he announced, fixing a smug look on Jenny.
"Tell her," Jenny retorted calmly.
She smiled teasingly at Gibbs, and he glared at her.
"You promised," he growled.
"He doesn't know," whispered Elizabeth conspiratorially.
Kelly giggled nervously, and sat forward. She blew her hair out of her face and looked between Gibbs and Jenny, wrinkling her nose a little.
"I don't want to stay," she confided, shooting a shifty look at Gibbs. "It was bad enough the first time."
Jenny laughed, and shook her head.
"Sweetheart, I'm sorry to say Lizzy gets it better than you," she revealed. "I told your father I'd do it this time." The redhead sat forward and beckoned Elizabeth over, rolling her eyes at Gibbs. "Run back to the basement, Jethro."
"Oh," Kelly looked a little brighter. She bit her lip and tilted her head. "Well, maybe I want to hear your talk," she said slowly. "It's probably better."
Gibbs managed to look affronted, and gave Kelly a look—she didn't understand how impossibly difficult it had been to be sat down by a seven-year-old and calmly told that it was important she know where babies came from.
Jenny grinned. She took Elizabeth's hands and tugged her over gently, indicating she should perch on the edge of the coffee table. Elizabeth raised her eyebrows and looked around at all of them.
"Is it that big of a deal?" she asked skeptically.
"Yes," Kelly answered emphatically, turning up her nose.
Gibbs looked at her mildly, and then met Jenny's eyes.
"She's a little young," he remarked grudgingly.
"She's a year older than Kelly was," Jenny reminded him matter-of-factly. "Jethro, you're lucky she made it to eight without hearing anything warped. She's in public schools," she said dryly.
He rubbed his jaw, and sighed. She was right; he had given the talk to Kelly earlier—but Kelly had always been more mature than Elizabeth, and since Kelly had been assaulted, he'd given in to an almost paranoid desire to keep Elizabeth completely innocent for as long as possible, because Kelly had lost so much. Elizabeth smacked her lips, waiting restlessly. Kelly sat forward and pushed her hair back behind her ears, running her hands through the auburn locks until she reached the bottom, and then she looked up at Gibbs.
"Daddy," she said softly. "You guys should tell her about me," she advised.
Gibbs looked at her guardedly, and then—he found himself doing this more and more these days—turned to Jenny for assistance. She compressed her lips and considered it a moment.
"It's best to give her a good foundation," she said quietly.
"I don't want to act like it's a dirty secret," Kelly said.
"Kelly, no one thinks that," Gibbs told her sharply.
She sat back from him a little warily, put off by his tone.
"Well," she said, a little nasty herself, "I don't want Lizzy to think we kept it from her," she snapped, "and I don't want to fight about it later if she finds out from someone else."
"Who else would she find out from?" Gibbs asked, exasperated.
"Jethro," Jenny said curtly, "are you arguing we don't tell Lizzy what happened—ever?"
"No," he said automatically, and then paused, frustrated—he had always known the moment would come when they'd have to explain to Elizabeth exactly what had happened when Kelly had 'gotten hurt.' Elizabeth had only been three years old at the time, and hadn't understood.
His wife gave him a hard look, and Elizabeth sighed in annoyance, stomping her foot.
"Never mind," she whined. "I'll just ask Gramma Jo."
"No!" three voices said in unison, and Elizabeth's eyes widened.
Jenny laughed and shook her head, shooting a look at Gibbs—that settled it; if Elizabeth was threatening to go to Joanne, they were doing this now.
"Flee now, Jethro, or forever hold your peace." she warned lightly. "I know how uncomfortable you are with the words 'vagina' and—"
He gave her an annoyed, but resigned look, and stubbornly refused to leave, retreating back into the living room and sitting in an armchair stiffly.
"If we're talkin' to her about Kelly, m' not leavin'," he said shortly, folding his arms tensely.
Jenny considered him a moment, and then smiled softly. She glanced at Kelly, arching an eyebrow—giving her a chance to bow out, and Kelly shrugged, licking her lips and sitting back on the couch. She started twisting her long, wavy hair into a braid, and Jenny turned to Elizabeth.
"Why are you asking about sex?" she asked seriously—she wanted to establish what sort of direction they needed to take; was Elizabeth just curious, had someone said something problematic to her?
Jenny hadn't ever given the sex talk to a child—and definitely not as the mother of that child—but she felt she was experienced enough to discuss the complexities of it. Elizabeth was young, but a firm foundation of what was normal, what was dangerous, and what was questionable was appropriate; she was old enough to understand the mechanics, how to say now, and that it wasn't morally wrong.
Elizabeth shrugged.
"Lily's mom had sex with someone who is not her dad so they're getting divorced," she said.
Kelly made a face.
"Cheating makes me sick," she said.
Elizabeth looks exasperated.
"Cheating? So sex is a game?"
Gibbs snorted. Jenny shot him a look and he hastily turned it into a cough.
Jenny tapped Elizabeth's knee seriously.
"No," she said. "Sex is not a game," she asserted firmly. "Sex is how people have babies and express love," she said simply.
"Then you probably should not do it with people you're not married to," Elizabeth said seriously.
Kelly grinned.
"Elizabeth," Jenny said calmly. "Listen to me. Sex," she started.
She led in to explaining to Elizabeth the exact, biological details of the act of sexual intercourse. Gibbs pointedly glared at the television the entire time, resisting the frightfully immature urge to shove his fingers into his ears until it was over. He felt Kelly watching him the whole time, and finally looked over at her. She smiled a little—almost sympathetically, and he made a face. She laughed silently, and lifted her shoulders.
"Jenny's doing good," Kelly whispered, leaning forward so as not to distract Elizabeth.
Grudgingly, Gibbs nodded, admitting his eldest daughter was right. He remembered a lot of cringing and wincing—on both his and Kelly's part—when he had been in her position, and a lot of stuttering, but Jenny was speaking clearly and simply, and somehow, it didn't even sound that incredibly awkward when she talked about the—mechanics.
When Jenny was finished, he looked at Elizabeth—and had to grit his teeth to keep from laughing at her.
The eight-year-old was staring at Jenny with eyes as wide as saucers and her mouth hanging open, frozen to the spot.
Kelly covered her face in amusement and peeked through her fingers.
"Did I look like that?" she whispered, glancing at her father.
He shrugged, and then shook his head.
"Nah," he answered. He cleared his throat. "You said you didn't believe me, and walked away."
Kelly snorted grimly. She folded her hands.
"Obviously I believe you now," she muttered, slightly bitterly.
"Kel," he said softly, turning towards her. Jenny glanced over, the confident look on her face fading a little, and Kelly rolled her eyes at them, gesturing to her sister.
"That's not what I meant," she groused under her breath. "I just mean I learned it again in health," she said, exasperated.
Jenny hesitated, and looked back at Elizabeth.
"Do you have any questions, Lizzy?" she asked.
Elizabeth continued to stare at her. She took her arms off the table and folded them in her lap, narrowing her eyes sharply.
"Yes," she said emphatically. "Are you crazy?"
Jenny arched an eyebrow lightly and smiled. Elizabeth lifted her hand to the ceiling.
"Oy," she said, imitating her favorite television character. She pressed her hand to her forehead. "I don't think people really do that, Mommy," she informed her skeptically, as if she were breaking bad news to her.
Jenny laughed a little.
"Lizzy, I promise you. It happens," she reached out and poked Elizabeth's knee wryly, "or you wouldn't be here."
Elizabeth gave her a completely horrified look and whipped around, glaring in outrage at her father for a moment.
"You did that to her?" she demanded.
Gibbs look startled, and then sheepish and then – just desperate.
"Lizzy, Jenny didn't have you," Kelly said simply. She shrugged. "Remember?"
Elizabeth wrinkled her nose, and narrowed her eyes at her father.
"Do you guys do that?" she hissed at him angrily, and then turned back and gave Jenny a betrayed look.
"Yes," muttered Kelly.
"Kelly," hissed Gibbs.
"You do!" Kelly retorted, pushing her hair back. She met her sister's eyes and shared a sympathetic look. "It's okay, Lizzy, he's nice to her," she informed her.
Jenny smiled calmly, and Elizabeth glared at her.
"I don't like it," she sneered. "It's gross, Mom," she said aggressively.
"You're supposed to think that when you're eight," Jenny said seriously.
"Doesn't it hurt?" Elizabeth asked, exasperated.
Jenny reached forward and took her hands, holding them maternally. She shook her head slowly.
"It is not supposed to, Lizzy," she said firmly, meeting her adopted daughter's eyes. "You know, like I told you, it's something you do with someone who loves you very much."
"Or if you want a baby."
"Ideally, the two go hand in hand," Jenny said, tilting her head. "It's not wrong if you do it without wanting a baby, though," she assured her, "but it is how babies are made."
"Okay," Elizabeth said. She stomped her foot, "but how come anyone would want to do that if they didn't need a baby?" she asked seriously. "Don't they know where penises have been?"
Jenny tried to keep from smirking at the pained expression on Gibbs' face and nodded.
"That's the other part," she said carefully, "it's affectionate, and it makes people feel close to each other." She didn't particularly want to go into more detail than that, and Elizabeth didn't ask.
The little girl huffed, and folded her arms. She shot a mean look at her sister.
"You knew about this," she accused.
Kelly nodded.
"Yeah, but Daddy told me," she said, making a face. "Would you rather have Daddy tell you?"
Elizabeth swiveled and glared at Gibbs.
"Never talk to me about your penis," she told him seriously.
Gibbs leaned forward and put his head in his hands. Jenny laughed and quickly withdrew Elizabeth's attention from her father. She took Elizabeth's hands against, and pulled them onto her knees, pressing them comfortingly. Elizabeth watched her, and then looked up.
"So," she began, "Lily's mom did sex with a different man, and that upset her dad," she reasoned.
"It seems that is what Lily told you," Jenny said neutrally, "but that is not our business, Lizzy," she said firmly, "and what we've just discussed is not for you to tell anyone else. Lily's mom can tell her, and your other friends' parents need to tell them. Understand?"
"Okay," Elizabeth agreed.
Kelly sat forward.
"Now you have to tell her about me," she said abruptly.
Jenny gave her a placating look.
"I'm getting there, honey," she said.
Gibbs looked up a little.
"What about Kelly?" Elizabeth asked.
"You remember when I got hurt, Sissy?" Kelly asked.
Elizabeth looked a little uncertain. Then she brightened.
"Yes, that's when we met Mom!"
Jenny winced—she thought it was awful, in a way, that Elizabeth associated getting a mother with the worst thing that had ever happened to Kelly and Jethro. She swallowed, and nodded, deciding not to address it. She squeezed Elizabeth's hands.
"Elizabeth, you know how your father and I tell you how to protect yourself from strangers, like screaming if someone tries to take you, and always telling one of us if someone hurts you or touches you?"
"You told me where to not let people touch me," Elizabeth said frankly. "Except the doctor."
Jenny nodded.
"That's what happened when I got hurt," Kelly said, lowering her voice. She swallowed. "The Rat King touched me inappropriately. He made me have sex with him," she said.
Jenny turned to her a little warily.
"Kelly," she started, wishing the thirteen-year-old would let her handle it. "You," she began again—but Elizabeth cut her off.
She stood up, pulling her hands away from Jenny.
"No," she said aggressively. "You just told me it doesn't hurt and it's for adults."
Jenny nodded.
"It is, and it doesn't," she said emphatically. "What happened to Kelly was not sex. A very evil man hurt her by forcing himself on her, and that is called rape."
Elizabeth looked from Jenny to Kelly. Kelly sat anxiously on the edge of the couch, and tucked her hair behind her ears. Elizabeth let her hands fall to her side and hang there, and she stood silently for a moment.
"Lizzy?" Gibbs asked, finally deciding to speak. "You okay?"
She stood there looking at all of them, eight years old and trying to understand it all—it was a lot to take in—and he was struck by how much she looked like her sister at that age, and he wished they hadn't told her. If Kelly had to live through it, couldn't they have at least found some way to make Elizabeth blissfully ignorant? He knew that was wishful, idealistic thinking, but he couldn't help it—Jenny had always told him how important it was to have these discussions, because sexual assault affected families of the victims badly, as well.
Elizabeth sighed and moved forward slowly, slipping past Jenny and sitting down on the couch between her mother and her sister. She looked at her knees, and then she looked at Kelly. Kelly looked at her apprehensively, and Jenny looked at Gibbs.
"Lizzy," he started again, but Elizabeth shook her head at him.
"I don't get it," she said, furrowing her brow. "I don't even get why people do it on purpose, how come someone would make Kelly?"
"I don't get it either," Kelly mumbled.
Jenny and Gibbs watched the girls, and Elizabeth leaned forward earnestly, her eyes on Kelly. Kelly chewed on her lip.
"He was just bad, Lizzy," she said quietly. "A villain," she added.
Elizabeth pursed her lips. She looked worried.
"Are boys bad like that a lot?"
Kelly looked around.
"I don't know how to answer," she said to her parents.
Gibbs hesitated. He didn't want Elizabeth to think she was going to inevitably be assaulted, but he also didn't want her to think every man she met was completely safe. Jenny reached out and stroked Elizabeth's hair.
"No, Lizzy," she said simply. It was too simplistic of an answer, yes, but Elizabeth was young, and she'd develop her own understanding as the years came, and Jenny would be able to help guide her in that regard. "It is important that you know that if you say no to someone, a good person will stop, immediately."
Elizabeth cocked her head.
"What if I can't say no?" she asked. She looked at the television. "Sometimes in movies, in the Wild West, people tie up guys and tape their mouths shut."
Jenny nodded.
"That's a good point," she said. "The word yes is what matters," she decided more comfortably. "When you are much, much older, and in a safe relationship with someone, if the answer is yes, it is okay. If it's not yes, it's rape."
Elizabeth smacked her lips.
"Is what happened to Kelly going to happen to me?" she asked.
"No," Gibbs said aggressively, sitting forward. "No, Elizabeth, your mother and I are not going to let that happen."
Kelly glared at him moodily—she thought it was unfair of him to say that. She knew her father would have done anything to protect her from the Rat King, but he hadn't been there, and that wasn't his fault. He couldn't make Lizzy think he'd always be there—but Kelly said nothing. It was better to just make Elizabeth feel safe.
"What if it happens anyway?" Elizabeth asked frankly.
"Daddy will shoot him," Kelly said bluntly.
Jenny looked surprised. Kelly stood up.
"He will," she said flippantly, looking a little cool. "He shot the Rat King. Or Jenny will shoot him," she added. She put a hand on her hip. "Or I will shoot him, Lizzy," she added.
She stared at her sister, and then straightened up.
"You shouldn't think about rape," she advised. "It's bad," she said dully. "You should just remember what Jenny told you about sex. Love, and stuff." She stepped back, and glanced at Gibbs. "I'm going to take a shower," she said.
She left the room before Gibbs could blink, and he half stood up. He looked at Jenny for advice, and she lifted her chin, looking after Kelly for a moment. She tilted her head and nodded, indicating Gibbs should go after her. Elizabeth scooted back on the couch, folding her arms and leaning into Jenny. Jenny leaned back, and put her arm around the little girl, ruffling her hair.
"Still workin' through it, huh?" she asked with understanding.
Elizabeth just sighed heavily, and shook her head. She reached up and rubbed her jaw in a perfect little imitation of Gibbs, and Jenny smiled.
"I just wanted to know why Lily's mom having sex was so bad," she grumbled.
"It's a bunch of complicated stuff," Jenny said.
"I don't want to hear about any more of it until I'm thirty," Elizabeth growled.
Jenny laughed.
"Your father will be very happy to hear that."
"Is Kelly okay?"
"She's upset," Jenny said frankly. "She's right, Ellie," the redhead said softly, "rape is very bad. It's very scary and it's something Kelly has to struggle with. We help her when we can."
"How can I help her?"
Jenny shrugged.
"You just be Elizabeth, you know? She doesn't want you to treat her differently," Jenny explained. "You be her sister, you fight with her, play with her—"
"Why would anyone treat her differently?" Elizabeth interrupted loudly. "It's not her fault if someone hurts her."
"You are exactly right, you little darling," Jenny said, leaning over and pressing a kiss to Elizabeth's temple. "It is not her fault. Rape is never the victim's fault."
Elizabeth nodded, and turned her eyes on the television. After a moment, her brow furrowed, and she chewed on her lip again, bouncing her foot a little. She kicked off both of her cleats and looked over at Jenny.
"Mom," she whispered, her expression pained.
"Hmm?"
"Are you—sure it fits in there?"
Jenny laughed, and hugged Elizabeth. She nodded, and then she stood up, pulling Elizabeth with her and twirling her towards the kitchen.
"C'mon, Sergeant—it looks like Daddy needs a little help starting dinner."
Gibbs caught up to Kelly as she was gathering up towels and combs and her fluffy robe for a shower. He stood in the doorway with his hands in his pockets and watched, a pillar of silent support, and finally she looked at him, her hands full, and sighed. She sat down on her bed and let the stuff sink into her lap. She glared at her knees, and then looked up at him.
"She's too little to know," she said bitterly. "I shouldn't have let you tell her."
Gibbs stepped into her room and pushed the door until it was only open a crack. He sat down on a beanbag chair opposite her and swallowed, looking around her room. It hadn't been redecorated in a while; it had only changed as she grew, and it was messier. He smiled at the array of things that defined Kelly.
"You know we had to," he admitted grudgingly. "There never would be a good time."
"I know," Kelly said. She looked up. "But now she's just scared she's going to get raped, and it's hard to tell her things because you have to keep it kind of PG, you know?" she said astutely. "And…we didn't tell her about Jenny…well, I don't even really know about Jenny…but that is your business," she added matter-of-factly. "She doesn't really get it now, and I think it would be worse if we kept it from her…" she trailed off.
Gibbs nodded slowly, listening.
Kelly licked her lips.
"I really don't want anyone to hurt Lizzy, Dad," she said weakly, tears springing to her eyes. "I wish we could just tell her about sex and laugh about her f—f—face."
"C'mere, Kel," Gibbs said gently.
She looked reluctant—she didn't really like being coddled, and since she was ten, she'd stopped seeking out hugs and kisses as much—but she stood up and came over, her arms full, and she let Gibbs wrap his arms around her protectively and kiss the crown of her head.
Kelly squeezed his shoulders, and stepped back.
"It can't even be simple for Lizzy," she said, her voice small.
He swallowed hard.
"I'm so sorry, Kelly," he managed hoarsely.
"I know," she said perceptively. She licked her lips and took a deep breath, smiling a little. "I think you're sorrier than I am, most of the time," she whispered hoarsely. She laughed. "You should go to therapy, too."
He smiled at her, but it was hollow. He didn't think he had it worse than her, but he did think he thought about it more. Kelly's resilience had been outstanding—and Jenny told him she was recovering well, and it was probably that most days, she didn't factor her rape into every emotion and thought she had, but it was still here; it still haunted them.
Kelly wrinkled her nose. She took another few steps back.
"I'll be out of the shower for dinner – you're still making tacos, right?"
He nodded. She beamed. She started to leave, and then turned around. She bit her lip.
"Lizzy's face…was really funny, wasn't it?"
He grinned at her, and nodded again.
Gibbs rolled his eyes as his wife gave him a patronizing rub on the head.
"You survived," she trilled dramatically.
He grunted at her loftily, and she laughed, snuggling up next to him in bed. She rested her cheek against his shoulder and sighed, weary from work. He shifted his arm, getting comfortable, and ran his hand up and down her side, tickling her ribs lightly.
He snorted, and admitted to something he'd never thought he'd feel:
"I'd rather have a repeat of the first talk," he muttered.
She pressed her nose into his shirt gently and nodded.
"I know, Jethro," she murmured heavily. She rested her hand on his thigh under the sheets and moved her head a little, still shifting to get comfortable.
It was only logical that he'd wish for the awkward simplicity of telling Kelly about sex—then, he'd had two untouched little girls whose only sadness was losing their mother, and he hadn't had to explain anything sinister to Kelly. It was different with Elizabeth; it was as painful as it was awkward.
"You think she's too young?" Gibbs ventured warily. He grunted in frustration and reached up to rub his jaw, his hand falling still on her ribs.
Jenny sighed.
"Kids are too old these days," she murmured, shaking her head a little. "Parents let the TV babysit, MTV's in their face all day, parental controls on the Internet are rudimentary," she went on. She bit her lip.
"Kelly's upset," he mumbled unhappily. "She thinks she scared Lizzy."
Jenny wrinkled her nose thoughtfully.
"Ah," she said quietly, swallowing hard. "No," she decided. "Elizabeth…will forget about this conversation the minute she's back on a soccer field, or some boy pulls her braids at school," she said. She shrugged. "Resilience," she murmured. "Kelly has it, too. When you talked to her—did she dwell on it for days?"
Gibbs considered the question.
He shook his head.
"Sex?" he said. "Guess it didn't come back up again until," he trailed off.
Jenny nodded in understanding—it was kind of a benefit of getting the technical sex talk out there when kids were young—they accepted it, made a face, and moved on. It didn't resurface until…hormones and dating and everything that came with it.
"Lizzy's okay," Jenny said confidently. "If I had it my way, we'd keep them both innocent forever," she added, laughing lightly.
Gibbs set his jaw—he wished it could be that way.
"I think it's important we established that it can be talked about in this household," Jenny murmured. She tilted her head, and looked up, her eyes meeting his. "The girls know they can come to us. Kelly already knows we're here for her…Elizabeth needs to be aware that we don't make Kelly keep secrets, and we don't think sex is dirty."
Gibbs nodded. His hand resumed running over her ribs protectively.
"Shannon wanted that," he said, with some difficulty. "Joanne's ultra religious. Shannon said she never mentioned sex—and Shannon rebelled," he added dryly.
Jenny smiled to herself, closing her eyes and leaning against him more heavily. She nodded, affirming what he'd said—she wanted it clear to her daughters that any questions they had would be answered, and Kelly and Elizabeth wouldn't get in trouble or accused of being immoral of they had questions. She'd never felt like she had anyone to turn to when she was young, and she had made so many mistakes.
"It's different," Jenny murmured tiredly. She lifted one shoulder. "Sex, it's in their faces all the time. Advertisements, raunchy movies, kids discover all of this toxic shit younger and younger, and they start talking about it with no concrete information, and then—they're fifteen, they're sixteen, they start doing it," she trailed off, letting out her breath slowly. "I didn't know what sex was until I was thirteen," she said frankly.
Gibbs smirked, and glanced down at her.
"You get a talk?" he asked.
She bit her lip.
"It's fuzzy," she mumbled honestly. "I think one of the foster sisters told me," she revealed. She smiled hesitantly. "I had this little romance with a boy at school that year, and he said we should try it some day."
She shifted and sat up a little more, opening her eyes and pushing her hair back. She licked her lips.
"I was raped the next year," she said dully—he already knew, but sometimes, she just tortured herself, by saying it out loud.
He leaned over, reaching out, and she held up her hand.
"No, give me a minute," she requested.
He sat back against the headboard obediently, and she chewed her lip, staring at her knees. She drew them up, and looked over at him, long curly hair falling over her shoulder.
"How old were you?" she asked softly.
She swallowed hard, and he saw her struggle in her eyes, watched her trying to forget, to distract herself. He set his jaw, and looked up, wracking his brains for some sort of moment to pinpoint it, to memorize. He snorted dryly, and grit his teeth, glancing at her from the corner of his eye.
"Think I figured it out through porn," he said bluntly, and she arched an eyebrow. He shook his head, rolling his eyes. "Must've been ten, eleven. Some kid stole his dad's magazines, we got the gist," he muttered. "I really got my head around in the first time I did it," he added dryly.
Jenny laughed hoarsely, pushing her hair back. She waited to see if he would go on—he wasn't much of a talker, and he cleared his throat gruffly.
"The first girl I was with wasn't a virgin. She cleared things up."
Jenny rested her cheek on her knee.
"Sweet of her," she remarked wryly.
He turned his head and looked at her.
"Shannon," he revealed gruffly.
Jenny smiled a little. She licked her lips, and paused, lifting her head slightly.
"Jethro," she asked softly. "You've only been with two women?"
He gave her a look that sort of seemed sheepish, defiant, and furtive, and she wriggled her toes—she had always known it had only been her since his first wife died, but she hadn't imagined it had only been her and his first wife. It seemed to suit him, though, now that she thought about it—it explained why he was never particularly aggressive or adventurous in bed, and that was something she loved about him.
He shrugged, and his face assumed a masculine sort of nonchalance.
"Didn't like a girl enough until Shannon."
Jenny licked her lips, and shifted to her hands and knees, crawling closer to him. She touched her nose to his lightly, and pulled back, eyes on his.
"You're perfect," she accused dryly, arching an eyebrow, and he laughed, reaching out and sliding his arm around her, pulling her gently into his side. He hugged her close and lowered his head to kiss her affectionately, letting his lips linger.
She felt his anxious heartbeat, and ran her hand over his stiff jaw.
"You sure we did the right thing, tellin' her?" he agonized.
She compressed her lips.
"I think we're in a complex situation," she whispered, her expression raw. "It's like my adoption of her…it's something she needs to grow up knowing, so there's no horrible emotional fallout."
Gibbs squeezed her tightly, his forehead falling against hers.
"I wanted them to grow up happy."
She nudged his knee with hers, smirking earnestly.
"They will," she promised. "I'm happy," she said, her voice catching. "When I was fourteen, I never thought I'd be happy again."
He smiled, and kissed her—it was a personal triumph, making her happy, because he tried so hard—for Jenny, for Kelly, for Elizabeth—to make the world seem safer and kinder than they'd experienced so far—and it had bothered him in the past few years to realize that Kelly's assault was going to affect Elizabeth, too, in a way, just like it hurt him, and like Jenny's demons were sometimes his to combat, as well.
It was a crime that just…kept assaulting them, even if the Rat King was dead, even if Kelly was recovering—her therapist said—spectacularly well.
Jenny took a deep breath and burrowed down a little, curling up against Gibbs. He leaned back, resting his head against the headboard, and intertwined his fingers with hers under the sheets—there was a knock on the door, and he grit his teeth.
Jenny raised her head.
"Come in," she said.
The door opened, and Elizabeth peeked in warily, her little nose appearing first, and then suspicious blue eyes, and finally her whole body as she sidled in the small opening.
"You're supposed to be in bed," Gibbs said, without looking.
Elizabeth put her hands on her hips.
"Kelly and I have been reading together," she said primly, and then she stepped forward, and narrowed her eyes at Jenny. "Mom?"
"Lizzy?"
"Kelly says that the reason Daddy doesn't sleep with the door open anymore is because sometimes he has sex with you, so that's why we have to knock."
"Elizabeth, please go to bed," Gibbs groaned loudly.
"It's bedtime, Lizzy," Jenny agreed neutrally.
"Okay," Elizabeth said stubbornly. "I wanted to make sure you aren't doing it. I don't want you to do it while I'm in the house."
Gibbs sighed heavily. Jenny smiled gently.
"I won't let him touch me," she promised solemnly.
Gibbs glared at her, outraged.
Elizabeth glared at them.
"I'm going to check on you," she informed them loudly.
Gibbs looked at her authoritatively.
"Elizabeth!" he growled.
The eight-year-old turned up her nose and darted out, neglecting to shut the master bedroom door behind her. Gibbs narrowed his eyes, and started to get up to shut it, paused, and sat back down, resigned. Jenny laughed, and kissed his shoulder.
"Not in the mood?" she teased.
He seemed to be thinking something else.
"You think she thinks I'm hurting you?" he asked, genuinely concerned—if Lizzy had gotten some things confused while they were talking to her—
"No, oh no, Jethro," Jenny soothed, her face falling. She touched his jaw. "Elizabeth knows you'd never hurt any of us—Jethro," she said, arching her brow. "I promise you, Elizabeth is more concerned with how icky the idea is," she laughed quietly.
Gibbs leaned back, stretching out on the bed. He snorted.
"Yeah," he agreed.
Jenny rolled over closer, resting against his chest, and propped her head up on her palm, meeting his eyes.
"It's pretty gross," she whispered wryly.
"Yeah, who the hell came up with it?" he answered, deadpan.
She smiled, and bent to kiss him—chastely, of course, so as not to offend Elizabeth's precious sensibilities—and she felt comforted by his presence, and the normalcy of Elizabeth's childlike abhorrence of the idea of sex—she maybe be affected by the emotional repercussions of what had happened to her sister—but if anyone could make it out as unscathed as possible, it was Elizabeth.
*I think, frequently, this story can be controversial because it involves children, and different people have different ideas of what's appropriate. I think in this case, it is important for Lizzy to get these two talks together since she has some knowledge of Kelly having gone through something horrible, and it lays a very good foundation of sexual health/safety, etc. Of course, there's a whole different fallout to address when she finds out about Jenny, though that will be address later. I should add I often have a different point of view ... I grew up in a family where me and my brother were told exactly what sex was when we were six, and our parents let us ask any questions we wanted from that point on.
feedback always appreciated !
-alexandra