Did anyone find that chapter sad besides me? Well there ya have it. Rye can't have children. Her body can't hold them for that long so she loses them every five weeks. Any who, here's the next chapter. Enjoy. P.S the info about the uterine abnormalities I got is from the website news moms need. com. And also I don't own the lyrics from, 'don't wake me up' by Chris brown

The doctor told me why I can't carry any children. I have uterine abnormalities. This means that my mullerian ducts didn't fuse all the way which effected the growth of the fetus. That's why I always have miscarriages.

"So I guess that's it. No children for me" I say when haul and I are alone and break out crying again. "no, no baby doesn't say that" he says hugging me. "you heard the doctor Haul. There's nothing I can do" I sob. He doesn't say anything else. "c'mon the principle is giving you a few days off to rest. Let's get you home" he says.

When we get in the house, Holden is in the living room on the couch making out with some girl. His hand in her unbuttoned jeans. She moans into his mouth. Haul shuts the door loudly and they jump. "shit! I didn't hear you two come in. why are you back half day or something" he asks sneakily sliding his hand out of her bottoms. "yeah. Half day" Haul lies. "so you gonna introduce us" he asks. "uh no" Holden says.

"hey what's wrong with you" he says to me. "nothing I'm just a little tired" I say back to him. He nods and then says, "bye". "bye" Haul says back with the same amount of attitude as his brother. He takes me upstairs. We go into his room and he locks the door. He puts me into bed and pulls the blanket up to my shoulder so I can rest.

Haul POV

I turn on the AC on for her then kneel beside her and say, "do you want some tea", she nods. "but can you make it warm only" she asks. I nod and kiss her head.

I head downstairs and see my brother laughing with the girl. He's laying ontop of her. Her shirt is pulled up revealing her small set of breasts. "can't you take that into your room" I complain. Holden jumps and pulls the girl's down. "shit! you pervert. Please tell me when you come down. I got my girl you have yours you don't need to see this one too" he says shooing me away with his hand. "relax. If you want to get all nude, go to your room. nobody wants to come in and see you two trying to make love" I say and go into the kitchen.

I pour water into the tea kettle and set it on the stove to boil. I bake some brownies and set the timer. By the time they're in I take the water off the stove and pour it into two mugs. I put mint tea bags into them and sugar. I stir them with spoons and pick them up. I head upstairs, my brother no longer downstairs. I go into my room and close the door with my foot.

Rye is curled up on the bed. "rye" I ask to see if she's asleep. She turns over and sits up. I sit onto the bed next to her and sit against the headboard so that she can lean on me. She takes a sip and sighs, "perfect". I drink my tea and say, "there are brownies in the oven". She nods and drinks her tea some more.

"I…want to get my chords tied" she says. Getting her chords tied will prevent her from getting pregnant, I understand why but I ask anyway. "why". "there's no point in getting pregnant if I can't have a baby. And what's the point of even trying when I know all that's going to happen is that I'll lose it." She says and sighs. "you know we don't have technology like that in this district" I whisper. "I know" she says back, "but I need to go. Do you think we could do that"? I shake my head, "traveling through the districts is forbidden remember". "then we could get your brother to get us a private ride to the capitol, he's victor, he can get in contact with them."

"you know you hate the capitol" I whisper in her ear. "I don't have much of a choice anymore, it's not like I can avoid them. It exists and it's going to be here whether I like it or not" she says . "are you sure" I ask and she nods. "alright. I'll ask my brother" I say and we drink our tea in silence.

When the oven beeps I go downstairs to it. Holden is saying goodbye to the girl he had over. He kisses her and then shuts the door when she leaves. He comes into the kitchen after me.

I take the brownies out of the oven and set them on the counter. "ooh you made brownies" he says and reaches to rip off a piece but burns his hand on the tray. He jerks it back and shouts, "dammit!" and I laugh at him, "dumb ass" I say. I get a knife and start slicing. "can you do me a huge favor" I ask. "depends" he says.

I probably shouldn't tell him this but, it's the only way to ask. "rye, wants to get her chords tied" I say. "why" he asks. "because she can't have a baby and whenever she gets pregnant she has a miscarriage. We wanted to see if you could...you know get in contact with the capitol and ask if we could head over there for the surgery". "well sure I could ask but I can't guarantee they'll say yes. The question will have to go directly to the president". "we know". He nods, "sure, I'll go ask now" he says. "thank you so much man" I say. He nods and leaves out. I put a couple slices of brownie onto a plate and bring it upstairs.

I walk into my room where rye is quietly sketching. When she sees me she closes the book and sets it down. I could see the urge to put it away faster but I know she doesn't want me to suspect anything. I sit on the bed and hold the plate out. She takes a brownie and begins to eat it. I won't bug her about the drawing, it's not important.

We eat the brownies in silence until I remember, "Holden said he was going to call the president and ask if we can come for the surgery" I say in a low voice to her. She nods, "alright" she says finally. "are you scared, or upset. Do you want to talk about this" I ask her. I can tell she can see the desperation in my eyes.

"I just….all my life I've hated the capitol, wanted to have it fall, get back at snow for taking away my family. But now it's just. I'm not so sure anymore. I mean I have you, you're my family. And if he takes you away too…" she stops and stares up at me, tears in her eyes again.

She thinks of me as part of her family. I'm the reason she doesn't want to fight anymore, because she knows she wouldn't be able to live with herself knowing her actions got me killed. Then she'd be alone again.

I hold the back of her head and lean down and kiss her. She wraps her arms around my neck tight. I wrap my arms around her waist and hold her close to me. "I love you" she cries and then kisses me again. "I love you too" I say back.

There is a knock and the door opens. We turn and see Holden. "yes" he says. I look at rye and she looks up at me then back at Holden, "a hovercraft is going to be sent for you two tomorrow at noon" he says. "thank you" rye says before I can. He smiles and nods. He leaves out and closes the door. "I guess that's it" I whisper. She doesn't respond.

"I'm gonna take a nap" she says wiping away her previous tears. "alright. Would you like for me to wake you up at dinner" I ask. she shakes her head. "okay, goodnight then" I say with a small smile and kiss her cheek.

She lays her head on the pillow. I begin to slide out of bed but then stop when I see her arm rise into the air. She gets her book from the drawer next to her and holds it out to me. "I know you want to see it" she says. I take it and open it. She's never shown it to me before. The first page is just a regular leaf, the kind you see during fall. It's been shaded in. the next is a picture of her brother. He has shoulder length waves. He's smiling and has a missing molar on the bottom. His eyes are as big as hers and on the bottom it says 'Bannock Hemlock'. The next page is a young girl with long straight hair and freckles. She's missing a tooth in the front. It says, 'Bethlem Hemlock'. The next page is one of a woman and a man, their arms wrapped around each other and smiling at each other lovingly. The woman has long waves under a bandana and the man is in scruffy old clothes and wrinkles behind his eyes. At the bottom it says, 'mom and dad'.

The next is a picture of booker lying in his bed with a cigar in his mouth. He looks much younger than he does now. It says, 'booker'. The next is of a random guy and at the bottom it says '#1, 3$, the next says '#2, 5$'. It goes on and on for pages and pages. The numbers rise and so do the prices. '#47, 12$', '#58, 15$'. So many men have taken advantage of her, so many men I want to just strangle right now. I keep flipping through the pages until I come to '#208, 16$' and at the bottom it says 'jett'.

The next page is a picture of me, I look serious. My eyes are darted to the side and my hands are in my pockets. At the bottom it says, 'my love'. I smile a little then turn the page and my mouth drops open. It's a baby. A baby girl with short dark hair sitting in grass dressed in a t-shirt with a diaper on underneath. She has on a huge smile and her hair is pinned back with a clip. There is a larger body beside her with their hand on her head. At the bottom it says 'our baby'. Then in the top right corner in cursive it says, 'Basil Rendom'. She wants my baby. I would love to have that happen…but it's too bad she can't have the child she wants.

I turn the page but find nothing. I look back at rye and see she's asleep. None of the pictures have been colored in and I wonder what they would look like had they been colored instead of shaded.

I was going to head downstairs to hang out with Holden but I want to be with rye. So I get under the covers and lie next to her and pull her closer. I kiss her cheek and immediately she rolls over and puts her arms around me. Her eyes open slowly, or at least to me it seems that way. "how did you remember what your family looked like" I ask her in a hushed voice. "you never forget the faces of those you loved" she answers. "you saw…", "yes" I say without letting her finish. She smiles, "did you like it" she asks. I nod. "I loved it. She was beautiful." I say. "I just wish she were real" she says and pulls herself into my arms tighter.

"you saw those pictures of the men" she asks. "yeah" I say. "208 men in the last five years" she says shaking her head. "don't even worry about that" I say stroking her hair. "go back to sleep" I say and she's out in a minute. I close my eyes and soon I'm out too.

In the morning I hear someone on my guitar. I sit up and see rye trying to play it, but with no success. I smile and say, "I need to give you lessons". She giggles. I get out of bed and stretch. I walk over to her and sit beside her on the window sill. "I've been working on a song. You wanna hear" I ask. She hands the guitar over.

I clear my throat and begin to play. "too much light in this window. Don't wake me up", I sing and she smiles. "only coffee no sugar, inside my cup", she giggles. "if I wake and you're here still." I wink at her, "give me a kiss" I see a small blush on her cheeks. "I wasn't finished dreamin', about your lips". "don't wake me up, up, up, up, up, up. don't wake me up up, up, up, up, up. don't wake me up, up, up, up, up, up. Don't wake me up. Don't wake me." I stop singing.

"that's it" she asks. "yep that's all I got so far" I say and smile at her. She wraps her arms around me and leans against the window. I kiss her and then smile, "we should get ready" I recommend. She shakes her head and pulls me in for more kisses. She uses my neck to pull me closer and I hold onto her hips. Pretty soon I find myself trailing kisses on her jaw then her neck. I suddenly find myself wishing she wasn't so hurt about yesterday so I could actually do more than just kiss her.

Rye POV

He is the only one who could actually bring me out of my depression. Love overpowers hate and sadness. And his love overpowers any bad and sad feeling I have from thinking of my past and my lost children. He lets me know that just because I started out bad doesn't mean I can't improve my future. I want to improve my future. His care and love is what keeps me stable. Snow has taken my family but now he's my family and I will rebuild it with him. We will have our future together and there's no way snow can take him away. He won't do anything unless I do something first. And I don't intend on making that sacrifice.

His lips kiss me all over my face as I laugh softly. "brownies" he says and laughs. He kisses my lips again and I push his head closer to mine. I am in love with this boy, I am so glad I let him sit next to me at lunch that day.

His lips run over my throat and I put my head back and he kisses from one collarbone to the other. I begin to crave more. His arms wrap all the way around my back and he pulls me in as close as he can. My arms lock around his neck and his tongue finds mine. They swirl around each other and I moan. He smiles. I take his hand and place it on my breast.

He pauses and looks up at me "do it" I beg in a whisper. I want more than his kisses. I want to feel him touching my body. He lifts my cream colored shirt up along with my bra. He smiles, "what size" he asks. "d" I reply and he blushes. He starts by massaging under my breast then working his way up. He takes a nipple into his mouth and I smile. I know we can't go far today, but I want to do as much as we can.

It's a nice sunny day and the curtains are open. "We should probably move" I whisper. He stops what he's doing. "Maybe we should stop" he says pulling my shirt down. I look into his eyes and see the concern he has for me. He doesn't want to do this because of yesterday. He's afraid I'm still hurting. "Okay" I say. "Maybe some other time" he says and takes my hand to help me up. "We need to start getting ready" he smiles and then says. "Wanna wash up with me". I wrap my arms around him smiling. I nod.

He smiles back and leads me into his bathroom. He shuts and locks the door. Her presses my back to the wall and kisses my neck. He pulls off my t-shirt, then holds me by my waist. His hands make tingles shoot up my spine, and for the first time ever I want to have sex for love. Not for money.

I reach for his jeans which are slightly below his boxers and begin to undo his belt. He stops kissing me and just watches me, I guess to see my reaction, I don't know. I unzip his jeans and slowly pull down what's revealed of his boxers. I keep pulling until suddenly it pops up, probably eight inches long and I gasp.

Haul chuckles, "I knew you were going to do that". I have NEVER seen one this big. I brush it with my finger then wrap my whole hand around it. I graze it with my hand slowly and see his body shiver a little. His hands reach to unclip my bra. He slides it off of me and presses his body against mine.

I reach for my underwear and pull it down and step out of them. I push his bottoms down and they fall to his ankles. He steps out and walks me to the shower. We step inside and he closes the glass door. He turns on the warm water and then cups my breasts and starts off where he'd stopped a few minutes ago.

He kisses me from my breasts then down to my stomach then lower. He takes my legs and wraps them around his neck then stands up with me almost touching the ceiling. It feels good. It's so good that I almost jerk forward, but I know if I do we'll fall. "oh! Put me down. I'm gonna fall" I say tightening my legs as the sensation gets better. He puts me down, water dripping off of his eyelashes. I run my fingers through his hair and he keeps his hands on my butt. I pick up a bar of soap and rub it down his arm.

We soap each other up then wash off. We both wish we could do it for real but we can't. Not today.

We dry off silently and wear formal clothes since we'll be in the presents of the president. I put on some tight black tuxedo zip pants and a purple racer back tank top. I rewrap my hands and put on my leather jacket. I brush my hair and clip it back a little with a purple flower shaped pin.

Haul puts on his regular jeans and a tuxedo top. He takes his time combing his hair, he's beginning to grow facial hair. I step into black platform shoes. "The hovercraft is here" Holden calls from downstairs a while later. I take Haul's hand and we walk out of the house where a large hovercraft waits in the front yard, hovering feet above the ground.

Peacekeepers summon us and we all stand on a circular platform with railings. One peacekeeper pulls a lever and the platform rises into the hovercraft. Haul sits in a seat and I sit onto his lap. "Only one person per seat ma'am" I'm told and I sit beside him and put my hand in his. We're told to strap in and soon we're on our way.

My stomach is in knots. Im on my way to the place I always dreamed of destroying. Of watching those who live there burn to death just like my family did. I never thought I'd actually meet president snow in person and now that I am…I'm feeling kind of hesitant.

After a few hours we land in the capitol. I have to admit it's beautiful, very colorful and cheery. But it's still the worst place ever. We are taken to a car and driven through the streets. Everyone is wearing bright, shiny, sharp, weird clothes and they're hair and eye colors are artificially made. I can tell.

I feel someone nudge my shoulder. I turn my head and see haul looking at me. He leans in and whispers, "are you doing okay". I mouth, 'yes' to him while nodding and lean on his shoulder. The car is air conditioned and when he notices me shiver he puts an arm around me and rubs my arm up and down.

The car comes to a stop and the driver says, "President Snow's mansion". I swear I felt my heart stop. I swallow the lump in my throat and haul and I step out of the car when the door is opened for us. I look up at the building and gasp at it. We're led up stairs and into the doors. We walk through a large room with a red carpet, vases filled with roses and a large chandelier on the ceiling. There are avoxes on almost every corner.

We're led up another light two flights of stairs and then enter a narrow hallway. The peacekeeper we're with stops at a large door and knocks. "Come in" a voice roars. The doors are opened and I set my eyes on the and only, President of Panem. Coriolanus Snow.