"I know, Bonnie." Kim's mother said. Bonnie shook her head, and looked at her.
"We should have done something." Bonnie said. "But Kim…she always comes ahead."
"Some of the time." Andrea said, "But Kim is…not as confident as she seemed at times. Do you remember the talent show." Bonnie flinched, involuntarily. Oh yes, she remembered it, or rather what her sisters had said after.
"Yah."
"Ron forced Kim to take part in it… she, well, you knew about her singing and for her, that was enough to… not try again." Andrea paused, "And that… Kim's a little more brittle than I think most people realize. She's not been beaten often, but the few times she was… well it took Ron to drag her back, kicking and screaming." She smiled, sadly. "And of course, what just happened, was a defeat… that most people could never recover from." She sighed, "I wish she had talked to Ron, but I think it was too terrible…maybe she was ashamed of her weakness, so she…" Bonnie ducked her gaze away from Kim's mother. She didn't have a right to see that expression. "Anyway." Dr. Possible said, slightly faster, "Anyway, post traumatic stress syndrome can't be solved by drugs—it's not a physical problem, it's a mental one." Bonnie blinked and actually realized she must be feeling better, because she was getting angry.
"You think I'm cra-"
"No." Andrea said, her voice quiet but forceful. "Believe me, it's not a sign of insanity—and treating Post Traumatic Stress Disorder like that has done more damage than I care to think about… I'd love to get those Hollywood execs who thought Rambo was a good idea…" Her voice trailed off briefly and then she continued, "It isn't insanity—it's a coping mechanism—the problem is, until recently our society…frowned on it. So, if you aren't allowed to work through it, well, pretty soon it expresses in some ugly ways."
"Like my nightmares?"
"No. Those are the ways we normally work through it- I was thinking of your fear of them leading to your sleeping around. That can easily turn into a self fulfilling prophecy—you need to sleep with someone or you get the nightmares so you do anything to not be alone, but that makes you feel more worthless, which enhances the other problems, and so on—it's a downward spiral."
"Oh." Bonnie said. "Will they go away?"
"Yes… how soon…well, that's not something I can say, but I have to admit you seem to be sleeping better here." Bonnie nodded. Andrea smiled.
"Well then, you can help me fix breakfast for the twins… Jonathon won-I mean he probably will eat breakfast on the way back here from work." Bonnie didn't say anything about that.
Breakfast was… about like dinner had been. The Twins glared at her, or ignored her entirely and Andrea did her best to fill the silence. Andrea frowned at them, and mentioned that she would drop Bonnie off at school first. At that, the twins had the grace to look embarrassed. Bonnie just nodded. She'd come back home alone—she'd get her car from her house and drive back by herself. Dr. Possible didn't have to make her come back, Bonnie thought—for all the nerves, last night had been a better sleep then she'd had since… She shook her head. She'd come back, that was certain.
A short and very quiet trip brought her to Middleton High, with the announcement board only giving meaningless notices—nothing like the screwball sayings it had had when Barkin had been there. Bonnie sighed at that. She guessed they'd never realized just how much slack Barkin had cut various aspects of the "official" school rules, for all of his gruffness—and how easily he'd kept control of the students without rubbing it in their faces.
They didn't have that now, and it showed. The corridors were more cluttered, dirtier, and there was a lot more bullying going on. Maybe it was Barkin's absence, maybe it was the fact that you didn't have to worry about running into a girl who knew more ways to hurt you than you cared to think of, but the bullies had rediscovered their power.
Or maybe it was something else. Bonnie shook her head. She didn't know. She couldn't even handle her own life right now, so why was she trying to figure out how everyone else's life had been screwed up? She sighed, and went to her first class of the day.
The first part of the day, went well. Or at least sank on an even keel. There were giggles and jokes whispered behind her back, and a few girls walking past her suddenly started swaying their hips in an exaggerated parody of Bonnie's walk. Bonnie gritted her teeth and ignored them.
Which wasn't easy to do, but when you were the loser of the school, what other options did you have? Bonnie had managed to completely smash her place in the social hierarchy of the school in a few weeks, that much was plain. Most of her former cronies now avoided her like the plague... or they were the ones giggling.
When she came into the gym, the others were already getting set up for practice. Bonnie walked to her place, nodding at Tara, who alone of the girls seemed to treat her like nothing had happened.
Her best friend, Tara. Maybe if she'd talked to her… Tara had certainly never understood why Bonnie and Kim didn't get along. Maybe she was her only friend at school, especially given that Brick wouldn't be back for at least another day.
On the other hand… Tara probably didn't need it right now. She was the new team captain, and well, the abrupt transition had hurt the team. That last thing the team needed was Bonnie playing head games with their captain right before practice.
The cheer practice went agonizingly slowly—she intended to talk to Tara after it, but Bonnie had no idea what she was going to say. But she had to talk to her. Tara had been her best friend, and Tara's cutting remark, even retracted burned.
Because maybe it had been true. Kim had picked her, out of all the kids at school. Many of them had bothered Kim, but not like this.
Maybe because in her deranged state, Kim only saw enemies…but evidently Bonnie had counted as far more of an Enemy than anyone else she could get to.
And Mr. Barkin, Ron and Shego had had to put themselves in Kim's way to stop her. None of them had any reason to help her…Well, maybe Mr. Barkin, because she was a student, but Ron?
Kim grabbed Ron, and threw him through the front window, the thunder adding to the sound of the shattering glass. Her smile was fixed, crazed…
"I'll be back in a moment." She said, as she moved to follow him…and then Shego was there attacking her…and losing.
When the practice came to an end, Bonnie waited, surprisingly nervously for Tara to get finished talking to some of the other cheerleaders about parts of their routine. She'd talk to her last. She might not want any witnesses for this.
So, it was that Bonnie lurked in the locker room, waiting until Tara came in…when a hand grabbed her by her hair and pulled her around on row of lockers. Bonnie was stunned, frozen, as she was slammed up against them, the breath whooshing out of her.
And then she found herself looking into the very, VERY angry eyes of Kim's friend Monique.
"I've been waiting to talk to you girlfriend." Monique said in a calm tone Bonnie didn't mistake for anything but furious. "And I think I'm going to LIMTY…" She smiled, "Like it more than you." She filled in, drawing one hand back and making a fist. Bonnie had a feeling that Monique was right about that one.
TBC.