7
She threw him a rope. He didn't know it was her, not until he'd climbed it. And then there she was, hands on her hips, a stony expression on her face. He clambered over the side of the ship. She just waited.
"I..." he began, but he didn't really have anything to say. He had come back. He had shown her that he hadn't given up. Perhaps he had shown her that he would never give up.
Kate looked him up and down, paused for a moment, then turned on her heel and began 'captaining'. She was looking for Johnson when he grabbed her arm.
"No."
She looked up at him, emotionless. She didn't know what he meant, but she wasn't going to ask, not even with her face.
"No," he repeated.
She gritted her teeth, trying to hold on to her control. He gripped her shoulders, holding her tightly; she didn't resist.
"No."
His eyes burned into hers, and perhaps he saw it. Perhaps he saw the guilt, the pain, the anguish that never left her. Perhaps he noticed the glistening tears that didn't fall. When she opened her mouth, perhaps he heard the words she couldn't say. When she closed it again, perhaps he could feel what she felt. Perhaps he would understand.
"No," he forced out again, as if to himself this time. He pulled her close to him; she tilted her head up, her eyes still held captive by his.
Hades was moving. Kate could feel him under her feet, gently rocking, taking her away.
A tear dribbled down her cheek. Castle brushed it away, his thumb so soft and gentle on her cheek. She saw through the hardness of his eyes to the simple fact. He cared about her. He loved her.
"How can you?" she asked, struggling to keep her tone level.
"How can I what?" he returned.
"How can you love me?"
"Do you love me?" he asked.
"I don't know." She spoke so quietly, crying properly now, oblivious to everything but the man standing in front of her.
"That's not enough," he said to her.
"It's all I have," she screamed. "It's all I have, Castle."
"I love you because I can't not. I need you, I need to think of you, every minute of every day."
"I can't need anyone," she said, trying not to think about what his words meant, how they made her feel.
"What happened to you, Kate?"
"I... broke."
"Let me fix you."
"What if you can't?"
"If I can't, I'll break too."
"Why?"
"Because I love you."
"But, why?"
"Because you're perfect."
"I'm a liar. I'm a thief. I'm a coward. I'm cruel. I hurt you-"
"And you're perfect."
"You're too good for me."
"Impossible."
"What if I hurt you again?"
"No."
"What does that mean?"
"It means, no. I was blind, I was so blind before but now... You won't hurt me again, because I won't hurt you."
"It wasn't your fault."
"It wasn't yours."
"It-"
"It wasn't your fault, Kate. I was selfish. I didn't think... I didn't think and I almost lost you. But I can't lose you. You make me make sense."
"You make me make sense too," she whispered. "But it's not enough."
"No. It's not."
"How do I..."
"You have to let me in."
"I can't. I can't, Castle. It's not your fight."
"I love you. Every fight of yours is mine as well."
"No. I don't want you in it. Please..."
"You have to let me help you."
"I don't need your help."
"You're so strong, Kate, but I can make you whole."
Every cell in her body ached for him, her heart was filled with desire and need and even hope but she didn't know how she could give him what he wanted, what he was asking for. She didn't trust anyone, she didn't get attached... But here he was, leaning down towards her, his warm breath on her face as she clenched her fists so she wouldn't reach out to touch him.
He held her shoulders, every moment expecting her to shrug out of his grip and run away again, but she didn't. She stayed, letting him hold her, not resisting, letting him keep her still, keep her with him in one place. She wouldn't answer, though. He wondered why he continued to do this, continued to torture himself. It wasn't her fault, she was suffering and she was in pain and it wasn't her fault she couldn't be who he wanted her to be. But she still couldn't. And yet here he was, holding her, being there for her, desperately trying to pull her to him, waiting, waiting for her to take the lifeline that he had thrown for her.
"I can't promise anything," she whispered, her heart racing as she tipped back her head to more fully meet his eyes. "I can't promise you anything."
"I trust you," he said. She felt a twinkle in his eyes. She loved that, his happiness, the way he combined his depth with fun.
"You shouldn't," she said, smiling in spite of herself.
"Are you saying yes?" he asked, amazed.
Kate blushed. "It's not like I want to do anything we haven't done before."
"But you'll stay?"
Kate looked around the ship. They were in the middle of the ocean.
"I don't really have a choice," she said, grinning.
She'd decided. She didn't know what had changed but here she was and here he was and the way he held her, the way he looked at her... He made her happy. When she was with him she didn't hurt any more.
He moved his hands down from her shoulders to her waist.
"They're watching." They looked around at the crew with amused expressions.
"Good."
Kate put her hands on his shoulders, feeling his muscles through his shirt and smiling at the way they rippled under his skin when he moved his arms. She felt... free. As if a huge weight had been lifted off her mind – but she hadn't even known it was there.
"Now what?" Castle whispered, tugging her right into him so her chest bumped against his.
Kate pushed up with her toes and kissed him, their mouths melting together, perfectly synchronised.
"Make love to me," she murmured as his lips moved down to her neck.
"Here?" he asked, teasing her. He nipped her skin with his teeth; she gasped as he gripped her ass with his strong, firm hands.
"You'd better slow down or it will be here," she said as she rolled her hips against his and felt the bulge already forming in his pants.
"Fine," he said, winking as he suddenly stopped kissing her. He didn't move his hands, though.
"Jump," he commanded. She rolled her eyes, especially because her crew were still watching, but he was too tempting to resist. She jumped up and let him carry her to her bed.
A/N: Thanks for reading, please review! x