Author's Note: Once again, thanks for all the wonderful reviews! :)
Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders
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Chapter Seven: The Painful Memory
It was around two in the morning when Soda stumbled out of bed, having to use the bathroom. His eyes never fully opened as he trudged down the hall and he didn't even bother turning on the light in the bathroom. He hardly remembered to flush as he wandered back into the hallway. He was already dozing back off as he walked and he wasn't thinking clearly. Instead of returning to Pony's room he wandered back into his own familiar bedroom.
It was a little under an hour later when Soda was abruptly woken up by Pony's screaming in the next room. He looked around, a bit confused for a moment, and then cursed loudly as he suddenly realized what he had done. He shoved himself out of bed and raced into Pony's room at a sprint.
"Pony!" Soda said as he threw open the door. Pony was sitting bolt upright in bed, his knees pulled up to his chest and shaking like a leaf. "It's okay Pony." He climbed into bed and wrapped his arms around his little brother. "I'm here, it's okay."
"Pony?" Soda turned to see Darry stumbling into the room, still blinking sleepily.
"Where were you?" Pony whimpered, looking up at Soda with tears in his eyes.
"I'm sorry, Pony, I got confused," Soda said regretfully, rubbing his brother's back comfortingly. "I got up to go to the bathroom and forgot I was staying with you tonight."
"What's going on?" came a soft voice. Soda had almost forgotten that Johnny had been sleeping on their couch. He appeared in the doorway behind Darry, peering in nervously.
"Sorry, Johnny," Darry said. "Pony just had a nightmare."
Pony buried his face in Soda's shoulder, clearly embarrassed that Johnny was there to witness this.
"He's okay," Soda assured Johnny. "You can go back to bed."
Johnny nodded, though he didn't seem too sure. He turned and disappeared back in the direction of the living room. Darry walked more fully in the room, sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Sorry," Pony mumbled into Soda's shirt.
Soda laughed lightly. "Hey, I'm the sorry one, Pony," he said. "I shoulda been here."
"You okay now, kiddo?" Darry asked, rubbing the back of Pony's head.
Pony sat back and wiped the excess tears from his eyes. "Yeah, I'm okay," he said.
"Okay, you two got school in the morning," Darry said, getting up. "Try and get some sleep."
"Did you have to mention school," Soda said with a grin. "We were having such a pleasant night." Darry just rolled his eyes as he flicked the light back off and closed the door behind him. Soda lay back, but Pony hadn't moved. "C'mon, Pony, you must be exhausted."
"I don't want to sleep anymore," Pony said stubbornly.
"You can't just not sleep, you know that," Soda said, yawning. He reached up and tugged on Pony's shirt. "C'mere. I promise I ain't gonna leave you again."
Pony reluctantly lay back down next to Soda.
"Mom and dad weren't supposed to leave…" Pony whispered, his voice trembling slightly.
Soda was silent, feeling his stomach drop. They had been doing so well with pretending everything was okay for days now. Suddenly it all came rushing back that it wasn't okay. Things would never really be okay again. They could pretend. They could try to forget. But it would always be there, lying right below the surface. Their parents were gone.
"No, they weren't…" Soda finally said quietly.
"It's not fair," Pony sniffed. "Why…"
"I know, baby," Soda said as he pulled Pony in close. He felt tears spilling down his own cheeks as his carefully built walls suddenly collapsed and it all came rushing back to him.
It had been very late at night. Darry had been out with some of his old school friends. Soda and Pony were both home, their parents had told them they had to stay in and work on their homework that night. Soda remembered staring at his math textbook, feeling no interest at all in trying to figure out any of the equations. He remembered feeling annoyed that his father had told him that he couldn't go out with Steve that night.
There had been a knock at the door. Soda suddenly realized just how late it was, and found it odd that their parents hadn't returned from their anniversary dinner yet. He had debated not answering the door at all. After all, no one he knew would be knocking at their door anyway, they would just walk in. It had been was Pony who had walked through the living room and opened that door.
"Son, is anyone else home with you?"
Soda had been sitting in the kitchen, but he still heard the words very clearly. Not being able to see who it was at the door, the question had seemed very sinister. Soda had jumped up and ran into the living room, ready to protect his younger brother. He skidded to a stop as he saw two men in police uniform standing in the doorway. He remembered his first thought: What kind of trouble had Darry gotten into while out with his friends?
"Our parents aren't here right now," Soda had said, assuming that was who the cops were looking for.
"We are looking for the family of Martha and Darrel Curtis," one of the officers had said, focusing on Soda instead of Pony.
Soda had been confused. He walked forward to stand slightly in front of Pony, discreetly pushing him back a little. He didn't trust cops. "They are our parents," he said slowly. He couldn't imagine that his parents had gotten arrested. He couldn't fathom why the police were looking for their family.
"Is there any other family you could stay with tonight, son?" the other office had asked.
Pony had looked up at Soda, looking just as confused as he felt. "What do you mean?" Soda had asked.
The first officer sighed. "I'm sorry to have to tell you this," he had said. He really had looked sorry too. "But your parents were in an accident tonight."
"Oh," Soda had said. He had sounded worried, but the worst outcome of this statement had still not occurred to him. Looking back, it had been so obvious. Why hadn't he seen it right away? "Are they at the hospital?" He had wondered if they would be able to track Darry down since he had the truck and he didn't want to walk all the way to the hospital this late at night.
"Son…" the officer continued slowly. "I'm sorry. But your parents were pronounced deceased at the scene." Soda had just stared, not comprehending. He was aware that Pony had made a choking noise and was backing up. "Is there any other family you could stay with tonight?"
Slowly Soda shook his head. Their parents had both been only children and their grandparents had all passed away years ago. Reality was slowly starting to seep in to his consciousness.
"Our brother will be home soon," he finally said. His voice had sounded strange to himself. Strangled. "He's nineteen."
The officer nodded. "You should be contacted by someone from social services sometime tomorrow to address the situation," he said. "I'm very sorry for your loss, boys."
Soda had only nodded as the officers turned and started off down the walk. He quietly closed the door and then mechanically turned to look at Pony. He could still remember the look of devastation that had been on Ponyboy's face, tears flowing freely down his cheeks. Soda felt frozen in time, unable to think or move.
Finally he snapped himself out of his daze. One thought was clear in his mind: Darry needed to be there. Darry would know what to do. He had to find Darry.
He walked to the phone and dialed Steve's number. His mother answered and told him that he was out. Of course he was, Soda had berated himself as he hung up the phone, he had known that. He dialed Two-Bit number, but his mother told him he was out as well and asked if everything was alright. He wasn't sure how he had sounded to her. Against his better judgment he had dialed Buck's number next, feeling desperate. He could hardly hear who he was talking to as he demanded that they look for Dallas, surely Dallas was there tonight.
"Hello?" Dally had sounded unsteady, but not completely wasted. Soda was relieved.
"Dally, it's Soda," Soda had said quickly. "I need your help. Do you have any idea where Darry is tonight?"
"Uh, I dunno, man, why?" Dally had slurred.
"It's important, he needs to get home right now," Soda had said.
Dally had laughed, and had he been standing in front of him Soda was pretty sure he would have hit him right then. "Why, past his bedtime?" he had drawled.
"Dallas," Soda said as firmly as he could, though he recalled also sounding desperate. "This is important. Something… something bad happened. Darry doesn't know it yet and we really need him here."
"Well, he ain't here," Dally had said, sounding a little more serious.
"I know that!" Soda had practically shouted. That must have gotten Dally's attention. Soda never yelled like that. "I need you to find him. Or at least track down Steve or Two-Bit and have them find him. Please Dally."
"Okay, okay," Dally had said finally. "I'll see what I can do."
"It's extremely important," Soda had emphasized.
"Don't worry, I'll get 'em," Dally had said right before he hung up.
It was another hour before they heard the old pickup truck rumbling into the driveway. Soda and Pony were sitting on the couch. Pony had been crying a lot, but Soda had just felt numb. He had just quietly held his younger brother. He offered up no comfort, just support. He felt a huge wave of relief when Darry had walked in. He had felt selfish. He wanted to be the kid, not the adult.
"What happened?" Darry had asked. He had glanced around. "Where are mom and dad?"
Soda had finally broken down. He squeezed Pony in tighter and cried hard. It wasn't fair…
That day was burned into Soda's memory. He would never forget it. He wasn't sure how long it had taken for Pony to finally calm down again. And he wasn't real sure how long it had taken for them to drift back to sleep. But he remembered dreaming about that awful night over and over again. He woke up several times over the next few hours, feeling haunted. He suddenly understood why Pony didn't want to sleep anymore.