Part Seven
Finding That State Between the Past and the Present
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There's some words I never told you,
The sound rings out like the truth
…I see color,
I see the maroon in the blood of this life...
That's ours
-'Afterglow', Vanessa Carlton.
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Already there are small signs of Jake in her house – the half empty milk jug, a battered motorsport magazine tossed on the coffee table, the toilet seat left up (she never figured he'd be such a cliché) and the fact that her bed hasn't been made in three days. But then there's her smile (it doesn't wilt at the edges anymore), the fresh daisies always greeting her as she walks bleary eyed into the kitchen every morning and that Amelia, once a quiet child, now speaks confidently and happily with most everyone. But especially Jake. He's my favourite she whispered to Bella one night, a small hand covering her mouth as if telling Bella in the strictest confidence, before falling asleep.
Jacob had always been a part of her; it's just that now she could feel that without falling apart in guilt or sorrow.
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"Only a day left!" Amelia squealed happily into Jake's face. Bella rolled her eyes and watched the routine that had developed over the past two weeks. Jake was holding a barely contained Amelia as she leaned precariously over to the calendar on the fridge, a large red crayon in her hand. With an exuberant flourish, Amelia crossed out the last day.
"Mama! I'm going to be a big girl tomorrow!"
Jake, his ears still probably ringing from Amelia's excitement, turned to smile expectantly at Bella.
"I know, sweetie. When did you get so big?"
Amelia pondered this for a moment before saying decidedly, "since tomorrow."
Jake and Bella laughed and Amelia looked bemusedly between the two of them before squirming and asking Jake to put her down. Once she skipped off to her bedroom, Jake pulled Bella into him, fingers linked through her belt loops and pressed a smile against her lips.
"She's so excited," he murmured.
"Really? Never would've noticed," Bella quipped. With a sigh and thinking of how much she still needed to organise for Amelia's birthday lunch the next day, she released Jake with two quick kisses to his mouth.
"Need some help?"
Bella turned a frank gaze on him, one eyebrow raised.
"I've seen your idea of cooking, Jake. And despite what you think, charred black is not the new medium rare."
"Sure sure," he shrugs before lithely hoisting himself onto one of the kitchen benches.
For the next two hours Jake proves that between dipping his finger into every dish, distracting her to the extent that she burns the cake and insisting that the potato salad needs tomato sauce (it's a necessity, he argues) so that, despite Bella loving him, there is only so much she can take. So she shoos (chases) him out of the kitchen with a wack to the rump with her tea towel (and a devilish grin from Jake that tells her she's going to pay for that later) before finally setting out to clear the disaster zone that is – was – her kitchen.
Upon completion, she collapses against the kitchen sink with a weary but deliriously happy smile and silently labelling Jake a huge pain in the arse. But he's her pain in the arse and she realises she wouldn't have it any other way.
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The next morning she's woken up by a flushed cheeked Amelia who she realises, with a sigh of resignation, already has cupcake smeared on her face. Amelia quickly smacks a kiss on Bella's cheek before bouncing excitedly on the bed, all the while squealing ecstatically. Bella faintly hears the front door open and Jake call out. A few minutes later he's framed in the doorway, with a look of conflict upon his face. Before she can even begin to ask he's launched his huge frame onto her bed and is squealing (although in a far lower tone capable of being heard by creatures other than dogs and bats) along with Amelia. He's hoisted Amelia into his arms and she's giggling so much that Bella's worried that she can't breathe, before she buries her head under the sanctuary of her pillow.
Everything's deceptively still and quiet for a moment and Bella warily peeks out from under her pillow, only to be tickled mercilessly by both of them. Traitor, she thinks at Amelia. Jake's totally bought her over.
Eventually they have mercy on her and collapse exhausted and giggling to themselves. Amelia snuggles into the crook of Bella's neck and Jake rests his cheek against Bella's stomach. It growls and he laughs exuberantly.
"Let's go get your Mama some breakfast, big girl," he says before cradling her into his arms. Bella can hear them chattering quietly down the stairs.
She sighs, content, before hauling herself out of bed and into the day.
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The party is all pink balloons and princess crowns. Amelia even charms one onto a resigned and blushing Sam Uley Junior, who promptly wrestles his older brother to the ground at the incessant teasing. Amelia is truly the darling of the ball, bestowing kisses and smiles to every one there. Even Leah seems happy in a particularly floral and out of character dress. Jake comments on this, but Bella thinks it has more to do with the fact that Brady's cousin from out of town - who's spent most of the lunch staring at her with a mixture of trepidation and awe-has finally (and shyly) offered her a drink and a smile.
One by one the kids begin to tire, snuggling into parents laps or onto each other's shoulders. Amelia yawns decadently as she snacks on what Bella suspects is her hundredth cupcake before she settles onto the couch next to Sam Junior, promptly falling asleep with her mouth half full. The adults mingle for another half hour, the absence of the children loosening tongues and inspiring the swapping of tales. Gradually they drift away until only Jake, Billy, Charlie and Bella are left. Bella and Jake leave the two older men by the television and watching over Amelia as she snores softly next to Charlie.
They reach the bottom of the stairs and Bella leans her head tiredly against his chest, seeking the comfort of his heart beat against her cheek. He sighs happily and she feels his lips against her forehead and the strong comfort of his arms surround her.
"We survived," he chuckles and she joins in quietly.
"She loved it," Bella smiles.
"Of course she did. There were cupcakes and fairy wings and pink."
"Princess crowns, Jake, not fairy wings," Bella imitates in Amelia's exasperated tone.
Jake kisses her nose adoringly and sweeps her princess style into his arms.
"Well, princess, time for bed?" he says with a wicked angle to his brow.
Bella eyes him shrewdly, "I have a feeling you're the villain rather than the prince."
"Princes are overrated," Jake replies easily.
"Crap, hang on, can we detour to the kitchen?" Bella asks quickly.
"What am I? Your steed?"
Bella motions a whipping action and whistles through her teeth.
Jake sighs heavily and treads to the kitchen. When he reaches the table, Bella leans and snatches the pile of letters that came that morning when she was too busy to open them.
"Alright, you may take me to bed now," she mocks imperiously, fluttering a hand at him.
He growls at her and throws her suddenly over his shoulder, ignoring her squeaks of indignation as he stomps up the stairs.
He tosses her on the bed and she mutters something along the lines of caveman before he smothers her with small, peppered kisses. Soon they're both laughing and Bella settles into her usual place in the crook of his arm while she sifts half heartedly through a stack of mostly bills and advertisements.
Two from the bottom Jake watches her face smooth, her hand frozen halfway through the motion of flipping the envelope to tear it open.
"Bells?"
Nothing.
"Bells," he says louder, touching her shoulder. She startles and looks at him before returning to the letter.
"It's from them," she says quietly, running her fingers over the neat penmanship on the cover.
"Who?" he asks, even though he knows the answer. It swirls thick and sickening in his gut. He needs to hear her say it. To know.
"The Cullens," she says, slightly sadly but he's relieved because she said it, she said their names and not in a reverent way, just in a regretful but also happy way.
She carefully tears the envelope and retrieves the colourful card from within. It's an arrangement of polka dots and stripes and very obviously and painstakingly put together.
"Alice," Bella breathes, opening the card and smiling as she reads the small note.
A Birthday Wish for Amelia Swan.
Have a lovely day and enjoy your presents.
We wish you all the love in the world.
Jake registers her tears before she does and the last thing she says before she falls asleep is,
"It was his handwriting, Jake."
But she was smiling when she said it. And so he smiles, too.
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