Title: It's Not a Mask
Summary: Jack doesn't wear a mask, who he is at school is the real him. He's not hiding his gender, nor is he in the Host Club because of a debt or blackmail of any kind. He thought his life was pretty good when he was with the host club, but when his secret is revealed Jack will unwillingly become who he's not. This fanfiction is not about a girl pretending to be a boy. This is a story with a transgender protagonist, Jack is a female to male trans guy.
Warnings: This fanfiction heavily involves transphobia and homophobia in the later chapters. If you're uncomfortable with either or are triggered by said things, then continue at your own risk.

Chapter Length: 2846 | Total Length: 17709

Author's note: Hi there! Sorry to post this here, but I've actually updated the previous chapters of this fanfiction. A couple of things have changed and scenes have been added. Specifically in chapters two and six. So I would definitely recommend that you read the previous chapters if you are returning to the fanfiction, but if you're a new reader: welcome! And you can proceed as normal. OH! Another warning, this chapter includes transphobic slurs and mild abuse. Read at your own risk, but yeah. Just thought I'd warn you if you are sensitive to either of these.

Chapter VII
How did she die?

Jacqueline Dawson knew a lot about herself considering she was so young. She knew that she loved toffee and honeycomb ice cream, she knew she loved climbing tees and playing games, she knew she loved t-shirt and shorts. And most of all, she knew she wanted to be male instead of female.

Jack was what he wanted to be called, never really liking his birth name anyway. He never knew how to bring it up, after hearing how his Aunt was shunned and disowned solely for the reason that she was born male but wished to be female. If given the choice, he would must rather stay with his aunt and be accepted immediately.

For years he struggled to get the words out of his mouth when one of the maids called him "Mistress Jacqueline", or when one of his brothers referred to him as "she". And to his surprise, when he did speak what was in his heart, all five of his brothers welcomed him with open arms. All glad to have a new baby brother. His mother was so happy that Jack had told them, and started to change everything with the name Jacqueline on to Jack.

Jack's only trouble was his father.

"F-Father? I just wanted to a-ask you...i-if you could call me Jack from now on...a-and refer to me as a boy?" Jack could barely stutter out, his fingernails digging deep into his forearm in an attempt not to cry from the fear his father wouldn't accept him.

A booming laugh. "Jacqueline that was a funny little joke, go back to you etiquette classes." And with a wave of his hand, Mr. Dawson returned to looking at the papers in his hands. The almost eternally present scowl returned to his face.

Jack stood firmly in place, telling himself that he wasn't to move until his father took him seriously. His nails dug deeper as the seconds dragged on.

A few minutes more, and Mr. Dawson put his papers down in frustration. "What else do you need to tell me, Jacqueline? I'm busy, so just make it fast."

"I-I'm serious a-about what I said...Father."

Mr. Dawson's expression hardened, his scowl intensifying. "If that is so Jacqueline, I will not cater to such an outrageous request. As I have told your mother once before, I will not allow for someone with the same last name as I to be a shemale, faggot or he-she. To accept it and comply to the whims of these...truly revolting requests would be to bring great disgrace to the Dawson name and to the company. I would rather your mother weep on my tombstone than to accept it." Mr. Dawson bellowed.

Each word that his father boomed Jack flinched, the words flying from the air and hitting him harshly in the in the face. Jack looked up at the towering figure of his father, terror set deep within his emerald irises, and salty tears threatening to burst free.

Mr. Dawson was not deterred from his outburst at the sight of his child's terror, it seemed to motivate him as he walked from behind the desk towards the eight year old child. "Is that clear, Jacqueline?!"

Jack was too terrified of the monster in front of him to respond. He thought his father loved him...why was he not acting like his mother and brothers had acted?

Fire danced across Jack's face as his father glared down at his son, arm raised. Jack was completely caught off guard by the inflicted injury and had fallen backwards.

Mr. Dawson stared down at his child, a fresh bright red hand print was painfully obvious. Crimson tinted his vision as he stared down at the child, he realised that he did not feel regret – only the need to punish his child for telling him that they were apart of a group in society he believed should be burned.

The doors to Mr. Dawson's study flew open, the mahogany doors creating a piercing bang on the walls.

"Mark, what on earth are you doing yelling so loud? Hibiki and I could hear you from all the way..." Mrs. Dawson trailed off as she took in the situation – her youngest on the floor and his father towering over him with a hand raised.

A familiar sight for the Japanese woman.

"MARKUS ALBERT DAWSON!" She cried. Hibiki behind her had understood the situation immediately and ran towards Jack, putting an arm around his shoulders.

Mrs. Dawson stormed up to her husband and gave him a shove with only enough force to move him back a few steps. She turned to look at Jack to inspect the damage, a crimson red cheek. Mrs. Dawson gasped, she knew it could be worse but this would only be the beginning.

"How dare you harm our son! He has done nothing to deserve abuse from his own father!" Mrs. Dawson screeched as she glared at the ageing male, she knew that Markus Dawson was not the gentlest man on earth, not the kindest but to harm a child? She just couldn't believe it. Especially when she had told him of her abusive guardians.

Mr. Dawson scoffed. "I didn't harm one of our sons! I harmed my daughter who wants to be a disgusting he-she! She deserved to be shown that it wasn't acceptable! I was going my duty as a father and as a businessman."

"C'mon Jack..." Hibiki muttered as he tried to pull Jack to his feet. Being five years older, Hibiki knew that Jack had already suffered enough without hearing his father curse him into oblivion. It would only harm him further.

Jack didn't utter a word but instead, followed his brother's advice. He was still numb with the discovery that his father would actually hurt him.

The two brothers made it up to the youngest's bedroom where they sat on the bed. Hibiki turned to move Jack's hand away from his cheek, and winced at the sight. It was crimson red and might as well be painted on it was so bright.

Hibiki pressed a small button next to his brother's bed that he rarely used. As they waited for a maid to see the call, Hibiki picked up a cool glass of water and gently laid it on his brother's cheek, careful not to spill the contents. Jack sighed as his burning cheek was soothed by the chilled glass.

Silence donned the pair as Hibiki tried to comfort his younger brother. The maid came and went, quickly returning with an ice pack before hurrying back to her chores.

"You don't need father's approval, Jack." Hibiki stated suddenly. "He's a rotten father anyway."

"But he pays for our education, food, clothes and all our luxuries...He wouldn't do that unless he loved us...I want him to approve of me." Jack sniffed, close to tears.

Hibiki held back his rebuttal. He would have told his brother that farmers do similar things for their livestock and people do that for others as to get something out of them for it. Saying those things, however, would only reinforce the fact that the situation was harsher than the eight year old could understand.

"Jack, everyone else in our family loves and accepts you! Taro, Jiro, Kiyoshi and Yukio, Mother and I. Not to mention all the really nice staff who help us out." Hibiki tried to reason, just praying that his brother would start to feel better.

A small sob escaped Jack's lips as he placed his head against Hibiki's chest. Unable to contain it any longer, Jack wailed into his brother's shirt. "But I want father to accept me..."

"I know...I know..." Hibiki pushed out as he held his brother close. Unable to do anything but be a shoulder to cry on right now, he hugged his brother tightly. He would do anything to have his little brother accept on his journey through life.

Jack was still known as Jacqueline at school. His father refused to grant a name change, but thanks to his mother's rebellion, Jack at least was allowed to have short hair.

"Class, today is very special because I want you to welcome our new student. He's all the way from America and doesn't know very much Japanese, but I hope you will all welcome him. Daniel, would you like to introduce yourself?"

The small boy looked up to the teacher with wide eyes. Jack could tell that he was scared, no doubt if he didn't know much Japanese. Jack was glad his father had made it a point to teach him English, maybe he would talk to this boy.

The boy turned to the class, his ashen blond hair completely messy. "Uh. Hello, my name is Danny. D-Danny Bradwell. I...not speak...Japanese well. But. Hope can be friends."

Jack smiled slightly, yes his Japanese was rather stiff but he was curious. The ashen blond's hair fell in front of his eyes. Shaggy, and no doubt in need for a serious cut. He had multiple freckles dotting his face, and his grey eyes were wide with uncertainty. His uniform seemed to only just fit him.

"Daniel, please go sit on that spare table over there. Next to Jacqueline." The teacher spoke English to the child as she signalled to the table where Jack was sitting along with two of his classmates. Jack smiled and waved as he tried to not look intimidating.

Danny moved towards the seat and nodded in greeting to Jack.

Before Jack knew, it was break time and the children were realised into the playground to play. He didn't exactly have any friends to play with, and he was starting to get bored of the monkey bars. He looked around, seeing if anything interesting was going on when he spotted the new student sitting on the bench alone.

Jack smiled and walked up to the blond. "Hello!" He greeted in English. "Can...sit there?" He asked as he pointed to the empty spot next to the boy.

Danny grinned as he realised Jack was speaking English, he nodded enthusiastically. "You can speak English? I thought I was the only one."

Jack paused. "I speak...little English. What...that?" Jack asked as he pointed to the small box in Danny's hand.

"It's...music player. Want to listen?" Danny offered as he held out an earbud to the boy. Jack nodded and accepted the earbud, listening to the English music that he seemed to very much enjoy.

Jack's gender was not the issue this month in the Dawson household. Even Mr. Dawson hadn't spoken against Jack's newest haircut or his "boy" clothes that were hand me downs of sorts from Kiyoshi and Yukio who were now thirteen.

The issue was Mrs. Dawson's declining health.

Doctors weren't sure of the disease that effected her, but they suspected it was a genetic aliment considering Mrs. Dawson's father had died of similar symptoms. Mr. Dawson had even called in his acquaintance Mr. Ootori who was head in the medical field.

When Ootori visited, Jack would sit outside his mother's door hoping to be the first to hear any good news when it came. But good news never came.

Ootori had always come alone, but one day a boy that must have been only a couple of years older than Jack tagged along.

"Jack why don't you get to know Kyoya?" Taro suggested. "I know his older brother, complete stick in the mud."

Jack's mouth twitched upwards but was unsuccessful in staying there. He walked towards the sofa the boy was sat on, and Jack pulled himself to sit on the other end. He searched within himself to find a conversation topic, but his mind kept straying back to his mother's room.

"You do know that it is highly unlikely your mother will make a recovery." The boy said in a clear voice as he pushed his finely framed glasses up his nose.

"What?" Jack asked shocked that his mother would be the conversation topic.

"Your mother. She's barely able to breath without pain, and that's after you forget that if she made a recovery, due to her now brittle bones just standing up has a possibility of breaking her back clean in half, paralysing her. Her immune system is so low even a cold could block her breathing enough to kill her."

Jack could only stare in horror, as he comprehended everything that this unfeeling monster has said to him. His world about to crash down on him.

"My father knows this as well, he only came today to give your mother the news and to tell her to say her goodbyes. She most likely won't live to see the morning."

Slowly, waves of tears crashed down and Jack found himself sobbing into his hands. Jack couldn't believe it, his mother was going to die and there was nothing that could be done to help her.

Kyoya looked at the sobbing boy with confusion weaved into his expression. He couldn't understand why the news saddened him, were people really that close to their parents? He couldn't remember the last time his parents looked to him with smiles on their faces.

"Jesus." Taro muttered, rushing to Jack's side and hugging him. "I guess the youngest is just as heartless as the rest..."

"T-T-Taro? I-Is it true that Mama w-won't live to s-see the morning?" Jack sobbed into Taro's shoulder.

"We don't know little runt." Taro muttered before glaring at Kyoya.

"Mama c-can't die t-tonight...It's my b-birthday tomorrow!"

Kyoya gulped. For once, feeling regret for being so ignorant.

"I know...I know..." Taro muttered holding Jack closer. Just then, a maid skuttered in standing near the entrance to the hall.

"Mistress Dawson would like to see her children now." the maid announced, holding an arm out to the hall she had just come from. "Mr Ootori will be with you shortly." she then said sternly to the boy on the sofa.

Jack quickly scrubbed his eyes free of tears, hoping that the Ootori boy was wrong. Not being able to see your mother for three weeks whilst she slowly dies...Jack knew he couldn't handle the separation any longer.

Jack's heart spiked with pain, his mother looked awful. Machines were connected to her at various points, and a machine tracked her heartbeat. Her heartbeat that looked so painfully slow...

"Kids," she smiled, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Mama..." Jack muttered sadly as he walked over hurriedly to his mother's bedside, his brothers close behind him.

"Jack, I have something for you. It's a birthday present." Mrs. Dawson smiled as she attempted to reach the night stand away from her children. The nurse that was present stepped forwards and passed the box to her.

"Give it to me tomorrow." Jack said quickly before she passed it to him.

Mrs. Dawson smiled sadly at her youngest. "Please, Jack. Can I give it to you now?"

Tears threatened at the corners of his eyes, knowing that she knew she would not see the morning.

"Mama..." Jack sobbed, his voice cracking slightly. He couldn't take it anymore. He wanted to grab her and cry into her arms, to hug her so tight she felt like she was the most important person in the world. He wanted to rip the wires out of her and pull her up, to pull her along on a walk in the gardens like they used to do.

Jack wanted his mother back.

Jack didn't lunge forwards to grab the present, instead he carefully started to climb the bed until he was laid right next to her. He reached over and gave her the biggest hug he could muster but being careful considering how delicate her body was. Sobs racked his small body and Jack's brothers followed suit, moving forwards and hugging their mother.

Jack wasn't sure how long they spent like that. A nurse brought in a television and DVD set, deciding to all watch a movie. It was a unanimous vote and a film that Jack didn't care for remembering came on. His attention wasn't on the film in the first place, Jack wanted to just remember this moment.

He wouldn't be strong without his mother there to support him, and he knew that in the future his father would do everything to trip him up on his path to where he wanted to be in life. He had to remember her, even if right now she was on the brink of death. Any memory of her would always be precious to Jack.

Jack wasn't sure what time they fell asleep at. All of his brother had managed to fall asleep alongside their mother as well. Jack wanted to go back to sleep, back to the dream of acceptance and love. Where his mother was the epitome of health and radiance.

Instead, he felt his mother's stone cold hand limp and lifeless.

"Mama?"

OH BOY I FINALLY UPDATE THIS DAMN FANFICTION. Wow, it's been over two years, I can't believe it. I'm actually blown away that I finally finished this chapter, I've had it in development for years. I hope this explains Jack as a character a lot more, and maybe even more of an insight to his family life. I also think that this chapter comes finished at a rather...odd time. My brother's girlfriend's mum died at 2am just on the 11th from cancer. Even weirder, it was her birthday then as well. I'm beginning to think that this was more than a coincidence or something. Either way, I'm just glad that I've finally got this out the way. I hope that I'll continue to update a little bit more regularly. Just know that I'm not dead! See you later.

-Danni