You know it's been a crappy week when you wake up in the morning thinking it's Friday and it's only Wednesday! However, it's not all bad as today Season 3 of Madam Secretary starts in the UK. Whoop whoop! To celebrate this fact I decided to post the next chapter of the story.
I wrote part of this chapter when I was ill and had a high temperature. I'm still not sure if I like it but it is my attempt at adding a tiny amount of levity given how heavy this story has been so far.
Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter and for your supportive comments. I was very nervous about posting it and was expecting a backlash, but your comments have all been positive and I'm very grateful. With regard to my comment about Trump's EO over abortion, I completely forgot that I am setting this fic in a fictional world where Conrad Dalton is President, not Donald Trump! Therefore, for the purposes of this story abortion is still legal and free for rape victims. Thanks to Spamez for pointing that out!
Elizabeth McCord cursed to herself as the door of her SUV slammed shut behind her.
She'd just been photographed by a paparazzi.
Somehow, and she wasn't exactly sure on the specifics of how, the current rumour around Washington DC was that she was pregnant.
From the information Daisy had been able to obtain, the rumour had started because her SUV's had been caught leaving the private clinic in New York early Saturday morning. Saturday afternoon Henry had just happened to be spotted by a tabloid journalist buying the pregnancy vitamins and folic acid that Alison needed as part of the grocery shop they took to the farm, and the tabloids had put the two things together and deducted it was she who pregnant. Daisy had issued a statement last Monday refuting the rumour stating the visit to the clinic was "classified" (which was not untrue, but probably not for the reasons the press thought) and Henry buying the pregnancy vitamins and folic acid had been explained as a simple accident, that he had picked the wrong vitamins up from the shelf by mistake. The press weren't buying it though and she was still being trailed by the paparazzi who wanted a picture of her 'miracle' baby bump.
Only Kyle Jones at The Washington Post knew it was Alison who was pregnant. After much negotiation between Kyle, Daisy, and herself during the week it had been agreed that she would give her exclusive to Kyle Jones when Alison reached 12 weeks of pregnancy and the risk of miscarriage reduced significantly. She didn't want to cause her daughter any more stress and increase the risk of her miscarrying in her first trimester, and being under the scrutiny of the press would definitely be stressful for Alison. She also wanted to give her daughter some time to figure out what she was going to do without the public's judgement. She still dreaded to think how many favours Daisy had had to cash in to get such a long period of time, and not for the first time since she became Secretary of State, she was grateful to have such an effective Press Co-Ordinator. But come what may, in 6 weeks time she would announce her daughter was pregnant - something she was already not looking forward to.
As annoying as the rumour was, she was thankful they hadn't been caught leaving the NYPD police station as that would have been extremely difficult explaining away. She was relieved it was only her SUV's that had been caught leaving the clinic and not the occupants of the vehicle - because trying to explain why her daughter and she had made a midnight trip to New York to visit a private clinic would have been almost impossible. She was grateful that it was she they suspected of being pregnant, rather than Alison, as her daughter was in a delicate state and she didn't need that type of scrutiny. On the way back from the farm they had purposefully let the kids go in a separate SUV which had dropped them off around the back of the house, whilst she and Henry had dealt with the press at the front. She could have killed Henry when he had helped her out of the SUV and purposefully rested his hand low on her abdomen which had done nothing but fuel the rumour of her 'miracle' pregnancy. The rest of the week she had been photographed almost every time she left her DC house.
Sighing, she settled into the black leather seat of her SUV as her DS agents steered the vehicle towards the White House. Was it wrong that she was looking forward to going back to work? At least the problems at work she could fix, the problems at home she could not.
Today she should be feeling an emotional wreck having dropped Alison at college over the weekend, just like she had when Stevie had left for college. She should be feeling the empty nest syndrome. Henry should be having to stop her from "helicoptering" Alison and calling her every 5 minutes to see how she was settling in. Instead she just felt drained and exhausted and it was barely 7.30am.
Alison's morning sickness had made its first appearance this morning and she'd spent the last 45 minutes soothing her daughter as she was leant over the toilet being sick. Her sickness had finally subsided literally minutes before she had to leave for her meeting with the President and she'd left her daughter in bed resting.
As much as a part of her was relieved to be going back to work, a larger part of her was nervous about leaving Ali. She'd hoped that once Alison had made her statement to the police, realised what had happened hadn't been her fault, that her daughter could start to heal - but if anything the opposite had happened. Since Alison had realised she wasn't going to college she had sunk into a depression, not helped by the fact that she could see all her friends on social media getting ready for - and going to - college. Alison had spent the last week pretty much hidden in her room, only coming down when forced to for meals. On the brief occasions she could get her daughter to speak to her, one minute she wanted an abortion, the next she was overcome with guilt and wanted to keep the baby - and there was nothing she could do to help her daughter. Not even the session Alison had had with a counsellor last week seemed to have helped - and there had been a huge amount of trade craft expended to actually get both she and Alison out of the house unseen.
Thanks to Blake and Nadine, they'd managed to arrange her schedule so that she could work from home for most of the day, a fact she was sure was not going to help the pregnancy rumour. However, it was Monday morning and her first day back after her week's holiday and she couldn't get out of this briefing with the President. As soon as her meeting was over she'd be heading home, she just hoped that Alison didn't need her during that time. Henry was staying home with Alison until she got back as he had a late morning class, but she worried for both her husband and daughter. Alison was still so nervous around Henry, and Jason, and she could see the hurt in her husband's eyes every time Alison flinched when he got too close to her - even something as simple as Henry or Jason collecting her dinner plate caused a flash of panic to cross Alison's face. But neither she nor Henry wanted Alison to be left on her own right now, and despite Stevie and Jason wanting to help their sister, they wanted their other kids to lead as normal a life as possible after Alison's revelation.
Pulling up at the security post at the White House she carefully placed her thoughts and emotions into one of the many boxes in her brain and pulled on her best Secretary of State facade. Not for the first time in her life she was going to escape into work and forget about what was going on in her actual life.
"Mr President?"
Three heads whipped around in the Oval Office at the sound of the Presidents' assistant's voice and instinctively Elizabeth McCord knew the meeting had been interrupted because of her.
"Yes Lucy?"
"I'm sorry to interrupt, but I have Madam Secretary's daughter on the phone. Normally I wouldn't interrupt but she sounds very upset, Ma'am".
Elizabeth shot a pleading look at her boss "Conrad...?"
"It's ok, Bess. Lucy, patch the call in here" he instructed his assistant.
Elizabeth all but snatched the phone out of its cradle after the first ring "Ali baby, what's wrong?" she asked in a panicked tone. She listened carefully but all she could discern was her daughter's hysterical sobs. "Baby I can't understand you, calm down" she tried to soothe.
"Mum..." Alison wailed on the other line.
"Baby, please calm down. Is your Dad there?" Elizabeth pleaded, her own panic increasing. What had happened to Ali? Where was her husband, why wasn't he helping Ali? Had something happened to Henry?
"Bess..." came a soft authoritative voice behind her and she turned to face the President and his Chief of Staff, the sound of her crying daughter still resounding in her ear.
"Go home" he commanded.
"But..."
"It's ok, Bess, we can manage. Go be with Alison, that's an order"
Elizabeth simply nodded in response, her heart outruling her sense of duty and gratitude washing over her that she had such an understanding boss. "Noodle, hold on. I'm coming home baby" she stated softly as she reluctantly hung up the phone and went to gather her folders from the coffee table in the Oval Office.
"Take as long as you need" Conrad Dalton informed his Secretary of State sympathetically.
"I'll let Nadine know. Go be with your family, Bess" Russell agreed.
Elizabeth nodded "Thank you, Mr President, Russell" she replied sincerely as she rushed out the Oval Office door.
"Henry! Noodle!" Elizabeth yelled as she ran through the door of her Georgetown home in a panic. She'd been trying to phone her husband ever since Alison had called her but the landline had been constantly engaged and Henry wasn't picking up his mobile, neither was Ali.
Henry was startled by his wife's dramatic entrance into their house and he looked up from his desk chair in surprise.
"I'm here, babe. What's up?" he asked in concern, noting his wife's wide eyes and alarmed expression.
"Where's Ali?" she demanded.
"Up in her room, why?" he asked, fear creeping up on him as he watched his wife run past their office and up the stairs.
"Elizabeth!" he exclaimed in frustration as he got up and followed his wife wanting to know what had caused her to become so upset.
"She called me, Henry, when I was in my meeting with the President. She was beside herself" she replied breathlessly as the couple rushed towards their daughter's room. "Why didn't you pick up the phone?" she snapped.
"I was on the phone to her college" Henry snapped back.
"Noodle!" Elizabeth exclaimed as she rushed into the room, the sight of her daughter once again curled up in a ball on her bed breaking her heart. She went to sit on the edge of the bed and rest a hand on Alison's shoulder when her daughter moved away from her abruptly.
"Don't touch me!" Alison yelled and Elizabeth quickly moved her hand away from her daughter.
"What's the matter, baby? What happened?" she asked softly, desperate to know what had upset her daughter so much. Over the past 10 days Ali had been doing much better on letting her hold and comfort her.
"I'm disgusting and dirty and...and..." Alison sobbed.
Elizabeth's heart broke at the words her baby had used to describe herself. "No you're not" she stated firmly.
"Yes I am!" Alison wailed. "The doctor called when Dad was on the phone, she said I have chlamydia!"
"That bastard!" Henry exclaimed furiously from the doorway of his daughter's bedroom, his hands clenching in anger. It was taking all his self control not to follow his son's lead and punch a hole through the hallway wall.
"Henry!" Elizabeth snapped at her husband, whipping her head around to shoot him an annoyed look.
Alison's eyes widened at her father's words and the livid look on his face and she scooted up her bed to sit in a tight ball as far away from her father as she could. "I'm sorry, Daddy" she whispered ashamedly "I've let you down again".
Henry took in the scared, ashamed, expression on his daughter's face and his heart broke. How could she ever think she had let him down? Shame washed over him as he realised his daughter thought he was angry at her. His expression softened immediately and he wanted nothing more than to hold his daughter in his arms and comfort her, something he'd always done since she was a baby. But instead he stayed rooted to the spot in the doorway knowing that if he got any closer to his daughter it would only cause her more upset. He just wanted to make all her problems go away.
"Oh Noodle" he breathed lovingly. "You haven't let me down and I'm not mad at you. This isn't your fault."
"Your dad's right" Elizabeth agreed in the same loving tone. "You didn't go out that night asking for this to happen to you" she said as she stroked her daughter's long hair.
"Then why did it happen!" Alison yelled brokenly. If it wasn't her fault then why had it happened to her?
Elizabeth looked at her husband helplessly. She had no answer as to why he'd picked her daughter to assault.
"Sometimes bad things happen to good people" Henry replied simply, pain underlying his words.
"And you're a good person, Noodle" Elizabeth reassured "You just had a bad thing happen to you. You'll get through this and be even stronger than you were before."
"It doesn't feel like it" Alison sniffed morosely.
"Oh Noodle" Elizabeth soothed as she pulled her daughter close.
"Mum!" Alison exclaimed in a panicked tone as she fought against her mum's embrace "The chlamydia..."
"Shhh, I won't get it from touching you" Elizabeth assured as she wiped the tears off her daughter's face. She didn't know much about STI's but she knew that much. "It's called a STI for a reason"
Alison emitted what could only be described as a small amused sound as she relished in the comfort her mother's embrace brought her. When she was in her mum's arms she could pretend for a few brief seconds that she was a child again and that none of this had happened.
"What else did the doctor say?" Henry asked.
Alison peeked up from her mother's arms as she looked at both her parents, distress and confusion evident on her face. "I can't remember. Something about needing antibiotics?"
"I'll call the doctor, Ali" Henry stated kindly "Then we'll get this all sorted out, ok? One step at a time"
"Ok" Alison acquiesced as she once again took comfort in her mother's arms.
"So, what did the college say?" Elizabeth asked her husband in an attempt to break the awkward silence that had descended upon Alison's room.
"Well, I phoned the Admissions Department and explained that you had decided to take a year off before starting college - I didn't give any details just that you had decided to take a break" Henry assured seeing the distraught look on his daughter's face "They agreed to defer your place for you for a year, so whatever you decide to do, you can still go to college".
"Oh" came Alison's flat reply.
"What's the matter, Noodle? I thought you wanted to go to college?" Elizabeth queried.
Alison glanced between her parents before looking down at her bedroom floor sadly. "How can I go to college with a baby?"
"It's not impossible, Ali. Your mum and I did our PhD's when you guys were little, and I went to Divinity School when Stevie was a baby. It was hard but it can be done" Henry assured his daughter.
"Yeah, but you had each other. I have no one" Alison replied in a defeated tone.
"You have us, Noodle" Elizabeth stated firmly placing a kiss to the top of her daughter's head and giving her a reassuring squeeze. She looked up at her husband for reassurance, and seeing the slight nod of his head, she continued "Look Ali, your dad and I have talked and we know it's not what you originally had planned, but you can apply to a college closer to home and your dad and I can help out with the baby"
"Or we're happy to help fund an apartment off campus and help with the cost of daycare if you go away to college" Henry added. He left off the part about how Elizabeth and he had also talked about adopting their grandchild and raising it if Alison did decide to have the baby.
"And what if I decide not to keep it?" Alison whispered, glancing up quickly to meet her parents eyes. She saw the look her parents gave each other and the flash of sadness in both her parents eyes and averted her own quickly unable to bear the weight of their stares.
"We'll still be here" Henry assured tenderly.
A heavy sob escaped Alison's throat "I don't know what to do, please tell me what I should do?" she asked pleadingly.
"Oh baby. We can't make this decision for you Alison, it has to be one you make for yourself" Elizabeth replied sadly. This decision had to be Alison's alone as it would be one she had to live with for the rest of her life. Elizabeth hated the fact that this was truly the first adult decision Alison was going to have to make and she felt completely helpless. It pained her to see the indecision and pain in her daughter's eyes.
"We'll always be here for you Alison. Whatever you need, just ask. You are loved and cherished, never forget that" Henry implored. "No matter what."