Title: Pain (7/?)

Author: Catgurl83

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Rating: Kid

Pairings: Sam/Zoey, Jed/Abbey, various minor pairings

Author's Notes: This story contains past sexual abuse. Most of the chapters do not graphically deal with the abuse.

Thanks to Anakam for beta reading this for me!!!

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During the years he'd served the President's Administration it had never occurred to him that he'd ever be willingly and happily spending a holiday in the White House. Of course, he'd spent holidays here before but always because of an emergency and never in the Residence.

He stepped past the Secret Service agents guarding the Residence. By now they were used to his visits and ignored him when he came and went.

Doug, Vic, Gus, and Annie were gathered in the family room. A football game was on but only Doug appeared to be paying any attention to it. Gus was playing Game Boy and Annie and Vic just seemed bored.

"Hey Sam," Annie said. "Mom said we have to spend the day as a family." The rolling of her eyes indicated how she felt about that. "I can't even use the phone."

Sam searched for something sympathetic to say but couldn't come up with anything so he just smiled.

"Oh, this is Aunt Ellie's husband, Vic. I don't think you've met him before, have you?"

"No, I haven't." Sam moved forward and held his hand out. Vic stared at it for a few seconds and then stood and shook the extended hand. "It's nice to meet you."

"You too," Vic said quietly.

"Doug, it's good to see you again."

"Same here." Doug returned his attention to the television screen.

"Aunt Zoey's still in her room. Her ankle is bothering her."

"Has she seen a doctor?"

"Yeah. Grandma finally made Aunt Zoey let someone come up early this morning. The swelling wasn't going down so the doctor gave her some kind of medicine." Annie noticed the concern on his face and his hesitation at leaving. "If you want to go check on her, no one but me will notice you're gone. I'll let Grandma know you're here."

"Thanks Annie."

Sam knocked lightly and stepped into Zoey's room without waiting for her response. She was propped up against her pillows, flipping through the channels on TV. Her hurt ankle lay still on the bed with an ice pack propped against it. The heel of her uninjured foot tapped against the bed every couple of seconds.

"A little bored there Zo?"

She shook her head. "A lot bored. My mother says to stay here until it's time to eat. I don't want to stay in here alone."

He dropped down next to her on the bed, careful not to jostle her ankle. "How about with company?"

"Hmm. I guess that depends on the company. Are you going to go get Annie or maybe CJ to entertain me?"

"Annie or CJ? Well I was going to stay myself but if you'd rather…" He started to stand but Zoey caught his arm and pulled him back down.

"I suppose you'll do." She smiled. "I'm glad you came Sam."

He shifted on the bed so that he was lying next to her. "So am I."

"Thanksgiving in the White House with the First Family. Bet you never saw this coming."

"No, I didn't. Everything that's happened the last few weeks has been a complete surprise. Even though I didn't expect it, I'm happy about it and with it. I'm falling in love with you. And God do I sound sappy."

"Yeah you do, but sappy is good."

Sam reached out to wipe away a tear at the corner of her eye.

"I'm so emotional."

He grinned. "Yeah, but emotional is good." He pressed a light kiss to her lips.

"I didn't want to fall in love with you. After what happened, I never wanted to have to trust again. But I love you and I trust you."

"That scares you," he observed quietly, absently covering her hand with his and running his thumb over her skin in slow circles.

"Yes. I trusted Charlie but after the shooting he pushed me away. When I really needed him." She reached for the bottle of water on her nightstand and took a sip to stall for time while she formatted her thoughts into words. "I think it was kept kind of quiet but the night I was taken, Jean-Paul had slipped something in my drink. He thought it was ecstasy. It was a date rape drug."

"The reason your response was too slow for you to use your panic button. He was deported afterward?"

"Yes. He's not allowed back in the U.S."

"Good. I don't want him anywhere near you. Or me. I don't trust what my actions would be."

"Statements like that are why I fall more in love with you with every conversation we have."

Sam picked up a strand of her hair, gently rubbing it between two fingers. "I like hearing that." He was silent for a few minutes. "We never had that discussion we talked about a couple of weeks ago."

Zoey tilted her head so that she could see his face. This was a conversation she'd been dreading since he'd mentioned it. She wanted to just leave everything as it was. She was terrified that even a slight change could ruin everything, send them back to where they'd been before they saw each other again at Leo's wake.

"I have to go back to California for a while. There are some things I need to take care of. My dog has been in a kennel since before the funeral."

"Oh."

"I'm not sure how easy it would be for us to maintain a relationship while I'm living on the west coast and you're living on the east coast." Sam heard her quickly indrawn breath and saw her teeth close over her bottom lip. "I'm not breaking up with you Zoey. What would you think of my hiring an agency to rent my house out?"

"You'd move back to DC?"

"If you're going to be in school in DC, yes. If you're going back to New Hampshire, I can get an apartment there." He smiled. "If you're going to be in New Hampshire, I might even be able to work on your father's biography."

"You've made a life for yourself in California. You're willing to walk away from that?"

"I'm not walking away from my life Zoey. If this relationship is going to work we need to live closer to each other. The only other option would be for you to move to California but I'm not going to ask you to move that far away from your family."

"Maybe I'd like to get away from my family." She sighed. "But I have to finish my coursework first and that won't happen until the spring quarter."

"I didn't know you were that close to your Masters."

Zoey grimaced. "The coursework is almost done but I still have my thesis. Every time I try to work on it, I hit a wall. How long will you be gone?"

"A couple of weeks. I'm going to drive back. I hate having to put Rebel with the luggage on a plane."

"Your dog is named Rebel?"

"I got him from a rescue already named."

"I can't wait to meet him. I don't think I've ever met a rebellious dog."

"Don't laugh Zoey. The name suits him." He curled the strand of hair around his finger. "If you want to meet him sooner you could always come with me."

"Go with you? I'm not… I don't know…"

He waited several seconds, purposefully keeping his voice gentle, soothing. "You can stay in my guest room or in a hotel and on the way back we can get separate hotel rooms. I'm not going to pressure you, Zoey, on anything. If you'd rather not go, that's fine too."

"I want to go. My agents will have to go as well."

"I understand."

"My dad is going to stroke out when he hears about this. When are we going?"

"I was planning on leaving early next week so we won't be traveling back during the major Christmas rush."

"I'll inform the head of my detail tonight. They'll need your address so someone can go ahead and check everything out. They've been even more strict the last few years."

"We should tell your dad too. I don't want you to be the only one in his sights when he finds out."

She chuckled. "Except that he won't hurt me. The most he'd do is lock me in the basement at the farm. You… I don't know."

He laughed. "But you're making no promises?"

"Yep. Stay to help me tell him and I don't guarantee that you'll make it out alive."

"Yet you sound so cheerful."

She shrugged.

"You want to be cheerful? Do you want to laugh Zo?" He grinned menacingly as he leaned over her.

"What are you doing?" The question wasn't completely out before his hands were on her stomach, tickling her. "Hey!"

"Hey, what?" He shifted slightly, making sure he wasn't near her injured ankle. "Do you want me to stop?"

"Yes," she gasped in between giggles.

"Apologize for teasing me with your father's wrath."

"Not…going…to happen."

"Then I'm not going to stop."

She ran a hand up his arm to his armpit, her touch feather-light through his shirt.

"Zo, don't."

She grinned when he started laughing and his hands stilled on her stomach. "Think you're the only one who learned to fight dirty as a kid?"

"And they think you're too old for her? You act younger than me."

Sam rolled to his side and glanced at Gus, who stood in the doorway. "I didn't hear you come in."

"Obviously," Annie said from behind her brother. "Grandma sent us to get you. Dinner is ready."

"Thanks," Sam said. "We'll be there in a few minutes." After the door was closed again, he turned back to Zoey. "How's your ankle? I didn't bump it, did I?"

"No. It's fine."

"Good." He stood and grabbed her crutches.

Zoey stood up. "Thanks. And by the way, I'm so going to get you back for tickling me like that."

"Uh oh. Now you're scaring me," Sam teased.

'''''''''''''''''''

In the dining room Sam took the seat the First Lady indicated, between Zoey and Doug. Annie was seated across from him.

The President focused his attention on the two newcomers to the gathering. "Each Thanksgiving we go around the table and everyone is given the opportunity to say a prayer of thanks to God."

Zoey leaned closer to Sam. "If you'd rather not pray, we can skip you."

It was tempting to jump on Zoey's suggestion. He'd been raised Catholic but he hadn't practiced his faith in years. If he'd ever said a prayer like this in public he couldn't remember it. "It's fine. I'll do it."

To Sam's relief the prayers were kept short. If they'd been longer he would have felt the need to emulate the length. When was the last time he'd felt such a need to impress a woman's family? Had he ever?

A steward carried a huge turkey out on a platter and the President stood up, reaching for the carving knife.

"This is so hypocritical," Annie announced as her grandfather cut into the bird. "You just pardoned one turkey and now you're about to eat another."

"Annie," Liz warned.

"What? I'm just saying." She turned back to Jed. "What is the point in the pardoning if you're just going to eat a different animal?"

"The point is a fluff story for the press," Liz said dryly. She smiled at the others seated around the table. "I guess I should have warned you that Annie has decided that she wants to be a vegetarian."

"I don't want to be one. I am one."

"I wish you'd told me," Abbey said. "I would have checked into preparing a tofu turkey."

"Yuck." Gus scrunched up his face. "Tofu is so gross."

"It's better than the canned junk you'd eat for every meal if Mom allowed it moron."

"Annie."

At her grandfather's tone, Annie sighed. "Sorry."

Zoey smiled at Sam. "It's always like this at family dinners."

"Except when it's worse," Ellie said, rolling her eyes.

The President served the meat and they all turned their attention to filling their plates with the other food that the First Lady and her two older daughters had prepared.

Sam listened to the conversation flow as they ate. He would have expected much more discussion of politics and world events from this group. Instead the family discussed what he assumed every other family in America did; sports, school, Ellie's job. There was a lot of joking and teasing. He tried to come up with similar conversations from his childhood but couldn't remember any. On the few occasions when his family had eaten dinner together the conversation had been stilted or non-existent and everyone had fled as soon as they'd finished eating.

"Is anyone ready for pie?" Abbey asked after they'd finished dinner. "We have pumpkin, cherry, and peach."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "No apple?"

The President sighed. "I know, it's positively un-American but this bunch doesn't like apple pie."

"Neither do you Jethro."

"Is there ice cream?" Gus asked. "I want ice cream on my cherry pie."

"Would we ever have you come over without making sure we have ice cream for you?" Abbey asked him, smiling.

A few minutes later, the adults moved to the living room with their pie and coffee. Gus had taken his pie to his room so that he could practice a new PlayStation game. Annie had finally been given permission to make a phone call from her room.

Zoey sat on a small sofa and motioned for Sam to take the seat next to her. "Sam's flying back to California to get some of his stuff next week." She took a sip of her coffee. "I'm going with him."

Sam jumped in before anyone could respond. "I'll be putting my house up for lease while we're in California. I'm moving back to DC."

"Are you taking a job with the Santos Administration?" Doug asked curiously.

"No. I'm no longer involved in politics. That won't be changing."

"So your sole purpose for moving back here is being closer to Zoey," Liz said flatly.

"Have you thought about taking the relationship a little slower? Maybe date long distance for a while, while you see if this relationship is going to work out?" Ellie suggested, trying to diffuse the situation. She could see the tense set of her father's jaw and the anger flaring in his eyes.

"We weren't telling you because we wanted your opinions before we made a decision," Sam said, meeting each person's eyes for a few seconds. "The decisions have been made. Zoey and I are simply informing you of them."

The President set his untouched pie on the table next to his chair. "You know damn well how vulnerable she is right now and you're taking advantage of it."

"Daddy, he isn't taking advantage of anything. I want him to move to DC." She looked at Ellie, and then Liz, silently entreating them to understand. "I've done the long distance relationship thing before. It isn't something that I want to do again. I really like Sam, and I really want this to work. Can't you try to understand?"

Liz crossed the room so that she could perch on the edge of the sofa next to her sister. "You know I want you to be happy. We all do. We're just a little overprotective."

"You've always been the baby. It's our natural urge to shelter you," Ellie added.

"I'm not sure this is the right thing for you but I'll try to support you," Liz said.

"I don't think it's a good idea for you to go to California with Sam," Jed said. "There would be security issues and there's the possibility of the press finding out."

"I've already spoken with the head of my detail. There won't be any problems with security for the trip. As for the press, where I go and who I'm with is none of their business."

Abbey laid a hand on her husband's knee. She knew what Jed's problem was; this was the first time Zoey had been farther away from both of them than Manchester since the kidnapping. She was nearly as worried as he was but she also realized that they couldn't shelter and protect Zoey forever. The kidnapping itself was proof of that. "She'll be fine Jed. Sam will be with her, and her agents."

Jed sighed reluctantly. "How long will you be gone?"

"Only a couple of weeks. We'll fly out and then drive back before the holiday traveling rush begins."

"You'll make sure your panic button is always with you and within reach?"

"Yes Daddy."

"Fine." He turned to Sam. "If anything happens to her…"

"Nothing will, Mr. President. She'll be safe. I'll make sure of it."

'''''''''''''''''''''

Zoey carefully folded the sweater and laid it in her suitcase. She ran through her mental check-list to make sure she had everything she'd need for a cross-country trip in the middle of winter. Clothing and accessories appropriate for freezing temperatures and clothing appropriate for the warmer weather of California. She reached behind her to grab her diary off of her nightstand, and after tossing it in, snapped the suitcase closed.

She sat her suitcase next to the door and went back to sit on the edge of her bed. She and Sam would be leaving early the next morning. She wanted to go, had been looking forward to the trip since she and Sam had discussed it on Thanksgiving, but a part of her was apprehensive. On Thanksgiving she'd told Sam that she loved him and trusted him and that was true. She trusted him more than she had trusted anyone in years but it was hard not to have doubts. The farther their relationship went, the deeper her feelings for him went, the more she worried that something was going to go wrong. That she'd do something to push him away or that he'd change his mind and decide that he'd rather have a relationship with someone more normal or who had more in common with him. She'd manage to push the thoughts away and convince herself that they were irrational but they always came back within a few days no matter what she did.

Now that she and Sam were about to go to California together and he was preparing to move to DC, her doubts and fears were worse. They were going to be gone for several days. Alone together, or at least as alone as it was possible to be with a Secret Service detail in tow. Days before, when they'd discussed the trip, Sam had made it clear that he wasn't using this trip as and excuse to pressure her into bed with him. She knew that he meant it. Sam was patient and kind and she believed him when he said that he loved her but even he had to be wondering after a month of taking their relationship so slow if she'd ever be ready to sleep with him. She was wondering that as well. She wanted to and had been close to making the first move several times but something always held her back. She would imagine making love with Sam and the thoughts would metamorphose into memories of her kidnappers. God, she hated still living with the nightmares and fear so long after it had happened. Hated the fact that through the nightmares, through her fears and insecurities, they were still controlling her.

Zoey swallowed hard and fought the impulse to start yanking things out of her suitcase. She was going to take back control of her life. She'd been working hard at it for weeks and was going to continue to do so. She wasn't going to let nameless, faceless men control her from afar any longer. She'd start with this trip.

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