It was quite by accident that Lexi stumbled upon the tea party.
The cat had left her a little further up the path, telling her to "walk straight on, dear, you can't miss it". Lexi hadn't realised how literal those instructions were, until she had stepped into a small cleaning and come face to face with the scene in front of her. A long dining table was situated directly in front of her, littered with teapots and plates and cups, all seemingly twitching and moving as if they were alive. A compact house sat behind the table, built around one of the broad tree trunks; its branches and roots twisted in and out of the gaps in the structure, little coloured lanterns draped in between the leaves.
There appeared to be only two occupants at the extensive table, despite the vast number of seats tucked under the tabletop. One was sleeping, using their long floppy ears and some kind of dish as a pillow - Lexi suspected it was a type of pie, going by the crumbs that were scattered around the bowl. The other was hunched in an armchair at the head of the table, studying their china teacup in excruciating detail. Their face was hidden from her - blocked by an elaborate fedora hat balanced perfectly upon their head - but there was something about the posture of their shoulders that was very familiar...
Lexi's hip knocked into the table, jangling the pots and cups that sat at the empty place setting. The person at the head of the table was pulled out of their intense thinking, and looked up to see what had caused the disturbance. Soft brown eyes met her warm blue ones, peering at her from under the brim of the hat, balanced upon a head of dark hair.
"Tom?" It sounded like a shout in Lexi's head, but barely a whisper left her throat.
A small frown creased his forehead. "Who are you?"
"I'm..." She'd lost her voice. Mere moments after seeing him again, she'd lost her ability to form words. How pathetic. Get it together. "I'm...no one. I'm a guest."
"Guest? An uninvited guest?" He flashed her a smile. "You do know that it's very rude to walk in uninvited, don't you?"
Very rude to walk in uninvited? It's incredibly rude to leave your child and their other parent alone in the world and not bother to check up on them. The anger and sadness that she'd kept hidden away bubbled to the surface.
"I could hardly walk in, since you are technically blocking my way."
"There is always more than one path to take, little girl."
"Little girl?" Lexi stared at him incredulously. Why was everybody calling her that? She wasn't a little girl anymore - not in height or in age. "I'm older than you!" And much more responsible and committed than you ever were, her bitterness whispered in the back of her mind. She pushed it away quickly, before it became visible on her face.
He laughed, a high-pitched giggle, clapping his hands. As manic and mad as everybody else in this warped land. Does that make us even now? Lexi wondered. For now we are both mad. He gestured for her to sit in the empty chair next to him. She remained standing, arms folded.
"No, thank you. I'd rather not."
"I just invited you to sit down." Lexi made no response; she felt him suddenly reach out and take her hand, startling her somewhat. Tom grinned at her from under his hat, as if he already knew that she was going to sit down next to him anyway. "You're not going to add to your list of rudeness, are you, fair one? Please. Sit." He watched her hesitate, wrestle with herself, sigh, and then sit in the chair, a scowl on her face, arms still folded in resistance. He dropped his hold on her hand, but she felt his continued gaze on her, as she smoothed out the hem of her dress, trying not to meet his eyes.
"Never before have we had such a pretty one at our table," he said suddenly, startling Lexi and bringing her gaze up to his. He tipped his hat and reclined back in his chair. "Isn't that right, Harewood - Harewood!" He grabbed something that looked vaguely like a scone and hurled it in the direction of the other guest. "Is that any way to behave in front of one so fair? Sleeping at the table - the very nerve of it!"
Benny Sherwood raised his head from the pie bowl it had been in, berry tart sliding down his face. "Apologises most profound, I assure you," he said, licking the trail of juice running down his cheek.
Tom reached for one of the wriggling teapots and poured himself a cup of tea. He paused, looking towards Lexi. "Tea? Or would one prefer wine?"
"I don't see any wine."
"That's because there isn't any," Benny cut in.
"It wasn't very civil of you to offer it, then," Lexi remarked, glaring at Tom, who simply shrugged, in the way he always did when faced with a situation like this.
"Your hair needs cutting," he commented suddenly, changing the subject rather brashly. Lexi glanced down as best she could at the shoulder length strands of blonde hair, briefly remembering a conversation from long ago when Tom told her that her short hair suited her. He was probably trying to flatter his way out of something, but, even so, there had been honesty in the statement. Flattery wouldn't get rid of her anger so quickly this time - or, at least, she liked to think.
"You do know that it's very rude to make personal comments, don't you?" She said, mimicking his words from earlier.
"I believe we now have the same amount of rudeness indebted to us, fair one. I believe that makes us equals."
"We are not equals," Lexi ground out before she could stop herself. They were not equals. How can people be equals when one does not even have the inclination to contact the other? She gritted her teeth to stop more of the poisonous words escaping.
For the first time, the manic grin started to slip. "I appear to have offended you in some way."
Lexi looked at him and his confusion-filled eyes. What was it about his eyes that she liked so much? Why could they get her to do nearly everything - including forgiving him? Yet she almost didn't want to forgive him. Without her anger at his silence and flippancy towards her, at his simple disregard of everything they'd shared and had together, all that would be left was the miserable longing and loneliness. She was already lonely enough, at the scrutiny of her neighbours. Was it wrong to want to be selfish in such a way?
"I'm sorry." Tom was still waiting for a reply. "You just...remind me of someone I used to know."
"I see." The look on his face told her that he didn't really "see". "Did this person do you wrong, fair one?"
"Yes...No. Yes?" Her sentence dissolved into a sigh. "It's incredibly complicated, I'm afraid."
"Nothing is ever complicated here," he insisted, worry forming in his brown eyes. She didn't want to confuse him any more than he already was by bringing along her tangled mess of human problems.
"I'm sorry - I'm being very rude again, aren't I?"
"One so fair such as you could never truly be rude in such a way," he replied comfortingly.
Lexi unsuccessfully tried to stop the smile from crossing her face. No matter how angry she was towards Tom's silence, he never failed to make her laugh, make her smile. It was one of the things she loved most about him. One of the things she missed about him the most, no matter how much she didn't want to admit it. Stubborn pride had something to do with that.
"Tea?"
"I would love some tea, thank you."
"Tea it shall be!" Tom poured her a cup, the bright smile back on his face in an instant at her assurance. She took a sip, trying not to recoil at the sudden foul taste that entered her mouth. Tom had never been one for tea making; some things would never change. "Do you know what we need, Harewood?"
"What is that?"
"A riddle!" Tom propped his feet up on the arm of his chair. "Why is a raven like a writing desk?" He turned to look at Lexi. "Do you think you can answer it?"
"Of course."
"Then, you should." It was Benny again.
"I shall."
"Then, say what you mean."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"There be no point you proclaiming that you can answer a riddle and then not answering. You should say what you mean." Benny swirled his cup of tea around in the cup so that some sloshed over the side.
"They mean the same thing, really," Lexi said.
"Of course they do not! If I were to say, "I see what I eat", it would not be the same as saying "I eat what I see"!"
"Or," Tom cut in. ""I breathe when I sleep" would be the same as "I sleep when I breathe"."
"Exactly!" Benny slammed his cup down, shattering the china into three large fragments and spilling the remainder of his tea. He glanced at Lexi, who was watching the exchange in a combination of awe and confusion. "Well, then? What's the answer to the riddle?"
"A raven is like a writing desk because they both use feathers. The raven has feathers because it is a species of bird, and a writing desk has a feather for a person to write with."
"Huh!" Benny scoffed. "Now you are being ridiculous!"
"Harewood! Rudeness!" Tom threw another scone his way.
"So, what is the real answer?" Lexi asked, trying to distract the two of them before a war of scones broke out.
"I haven't the faintest idea."
"Nor I," Tom added, before he tipped his hat and changed the subject again. "Do you know what we need now?"
"More tea?" Benny offered, holding up a jade green tea pot.
"True, yes, but, no."
"Another riddle?" Lexi asked, hoping that it wasn't.
"No!"
"What are we needing, then, Hat Maker?"
"A song!" Tom cried. "A song, to entertain our fair guest - Song!" He leapt out of his seat, almost knocking it to the ground, and hurled himself across the table, retrieving a large golden box that Lexi hadn't noticed when she'd sat down. "It simply will not do to be without a song on such a fine day!" There was a snuffling from inside the box, before the lid burst off, and a wrinkled orange and pink creature poked its head out.
"It's a hobbledehoy!" Lexi cried in recollection, as the little "head on two feet" - Lexi's previous description of it - cleared it's throat and began to warble in a disconnected tune.
"Twinkle Twinkle, little bird,
Causing so much wonder, it's absurd!
Round and round the world you fly,
Like a lost soul on the Neverside!"
Lexi frowned, whilst Tom broke into a round of applause. "I don't quite remember that version. I seem to remember something about stars being in that melody."
"I sang it at the Queen Regent's great concert not too long ago," Benny began, a wistful look in his eyes. "It stopped Time, I'll have you know."
"That's impossible!" Lexi protested. "No one can stop time! Time isn't a thing - it's a concept developed by humans!"
"You're pronouncing it all wrong," Tom corrected her. "He's not time, he's Time." He gestured to his friend. "Share the story with us, Harewood."
"Well, I had only made it through the first verse -" Benny continued "- when, quite suddenly, the Queen Regent leapt up and cried out that I was to be without my head at first light, because I had murdered Time."
"And, did you?"
"Of course not! Do you take me for a murderer?" He didn't wait for her answer. "Regardless, Time became quite offended by the whole ordeal, I can tell you."
"And now he won't do anything we ask of him," Tom finished. "It's always tea time here."
"Is that why there are so many empty seats?" Lexi looked down at the long line of vacant places, with cups set out in front of them.
"Indeed."
"Don't you ever get bored of tea, with it always being tea time?"
"Bored of tea?" Benny's eyes widened to the size of saucers. "Why, with Time making it this way, we'll never be late for tea!" He nodded firmly. "Never be late for tea. Such rudeness is that."
"Indeed," Tom repeated, before leaning towards Lexi. "Would you tell us a story, fair one? I shall share one also, if you will."
"Alright." Lexi racked her brains, but only one story came to mind. Tom and Benny watched her expectantly. "Once upon a time, there was a naughty little princess," she began. "She liked mischief and mayhem, and was determined to cause them everywhere she went."
"She sounds very pleasant," Benny announced. Tom shushed him, so that Lexi could continue.
"One day, the little princess was so naughty that the wise old elders gathered together to create a stratagem as to what to do. Eventually, one of them came up with a brilliant plan. They build an unbreakable box, and lured the little princess inside, shutting her up like a telescope." She paused. When there was no interruption, she carried on. "They couldn't leave her in the box forever, however. She was still a child, after all. So, they sent the little princess out to the stars, letting her float amongst the galaxies for all eternity - both free and constricted at the same time." She nodded to indicate that she was finished. Free and constricted - those words rang true when she thought about her current predicament.
"That was a sad story," Benny commented. "Will you tell one now, Hat Maker?"
"I shall indeed." Tom finished his cup of tea, before he began his tale. "Once, there were two little children, named Mot and Alexia, who lived down a well, in a hidden forest -"
"What did they eat?" Benny inquired, cutting him off.
"Why, fish fingers and custard, of course!"
"What an odd combination," Lexi said.
"What's odd about it?" Benny demanded, but he didn't get an answer.
"Why did Mot and Alexia live in the forest in the well?" Her question was addressed to Tom.
"Because it was a well of fish fingers and custard."
"But, how did they eat these things?"
"You can draw water from a well of water. You can draw treacle from a well of treacle. Therefore, you can draw fish fingers and custard from a well of fish fingers and custard."
"It's only logic," Benny added.
"Anyway, whilst they were in the well, they learnt to draw. All sorts of things they learnt to draw, like marmalade and monsters and the moon - lots of things beginning with the letter M."
"Why the letter M?"
"Why not the letter M?"
Lexi gave her shoulders a half shrug. "Fair enough, I suppose."
"Very fair it is indeed, to such a fair one as you." He refilled her cup, before inquiring, "More tea?"
Lexi tried to bare a smile at the thought of more of Tom's terrible tea, before remembering why exactly she'd asked to be led here in the first place. "I was wondering if you could help me in something."
"Oh, yes? What would that be, fair one?"
"I need to find my way home, and I was hoping that you knew of anything -"
"Your way? You have no way!" Benny cried indignantly, angrily stabbing into the remains of what had been his berry pie pillow. "All ways here are the Queen Regent's way!"
"Would she be able to send me home, then?"
"Most certainly. Whether she will take the decision to do so or not is another matter."
"Is there a way I could reach her?"
"There is always a way to reach the Queen Regent," Tom replied, gesturing to something behind her. Lexi turned to look, only to discover a little door cut into the tree bark. "Or rather, there is always a way for the Queen Regent to reach us. By royal decree, there must be one at every dwelling." Benny let out an incoherent grumble, busying himself with stabbing his pie.
"This will take me straight to her?" Lexi rose from her seat, almost hopeful, forgetting about the tea entirely.
"Yes, fair one." He looked disgruntled. Lexi frowned slightly.
"What is it?"
"I only wish I had enjoyed the pleasure of your company more."
Touched, Lexi's mouth pulled up into a half smile. "Well, it was nice to see you again - I mean, meet you." She quickly corrected herself. Technically she hadn't met Hat Maker Tom before.
"The feeling is mutual, my dear." They stayed looking at each other in silence.
"Thank you for the tea," she said finally.
"The pleasure was all mine."
"Right."
"Yes."
"Alright -"
"Goodbye!" Benny yelled suddenly, cutting them off. He was certainly eager to get rid of her. With something that resembled a huff and a sigh, Lexi turned away from the tea party, headed towards the door in the tree that would lead her to the Queen Regent that she had heard so much about, trying not to look so glum.
Why was she feeling this immense guilt? Tom had already left her, after all. Left her to wander the human world like a ghost. But, surely, by leaving this Hat Maker Tom when he wished that she would stay, she was doing exactly the same thing as he did to her? Did that make her a terrible person, or an entitled one? Terrible because she then was just as bad as he was? Entitled to make him feel the loneliness that she did? Not that he ever would. He had Benny Sherwood - or Harewood, in this case. He would never feel the crippling isolation that she did.
She glanced back over her shoulder as she was about to step through; Benny had gone back into his deep slumber, having given up on mutilating his pie, but Tom was still watching her, tea pot in hand, pouring himself another cup; the liquid was overflowing onto his saucer by now. Lexi gave him a half hearted wave, before dragging her gaze away and stepping through the door, letting it close behind her.