And the challenge: just how far can one write pokemon pairings without
squicking themselves? We haven't hit the limit quite yet, and so we
trudge on...
+ + +
pokememime
part vii – he never told me he was a mime
by malkuth and adam
+ + +
Meowth made a very cat-like mewl, unable to form coherent thoughts at
present. Pikachu was silent as well, its mouth busy with other
pursuits.
Brock, flushed and panting, was the only one who voiced anything.
"It... worked..."
+ + +
Togepi was not the brightest light in the world-- or was it?
He had been left in Ash's room with one overused porn magazine. Poor
Togepi only wanted to find Misty... and true love. There was no easy
way around it. Togepi would have to take things into its own evil
little hands-- er, flippery things.
"Toge toge prri!" it muttered hornily. Where was Misty? Since she
wasn't around there was no point in putting himself into mortal danger
because there were no underdeveloped-yet-obviously-there breasts for him
to snuggle into. It was bored, hungry and decided to take action.
It toddled down the hall past the bathroom until...
"OOOOoooooOOOOOoo!!!!"
"Oh Mimey, you've never made that noise before! Your ambiguous sexual
nature makes me want to... Want to... Suck you like a Bulbasaur!!!!
Oh yes! Let me taste your pollen! YES!!!"
Togepi wanted more... it wanted to know more... It wanted to -see- more.
It would have more. For once it employed its psychic powers.
*knock knock knock*
"Oh dear, somebody is at the door. Mimey, be a dear and wait a moment."
"Jessie... I mean Mime.. Oooo... uhhhh." The pain was clear in the
voice.
The door opened and there was Mrs. Ketchum dressed in a pink bathrobe
with clown makeup on, much like Folken, except a crazy housemother
instead of a hot sciencey type with wings. She stared out and saw no
one... she looked side to side and then began to wonder, "It might have
been one of the children. I had better go check and make sure they stay
downstairs. I'll be right back, Mime honey-- but I guess you really
can't go anywhere!"
She smiled and closed the door-- almost. It was easy for Togepi to push
the door open once the human woman had left... of course, there was no
point now. All it saw was the abnormally large mime suspended in the
bed... with chocolate sauce on... certain areas of it.
A fire began to burn in the back of Togepi's little yet acute brain.
Here was a pokemon getting all the loving, and he was lacking in all
areas. IT was a mime.
"Is anybody there? Oh, I just hate being all caught up like this!
Maybe I can get free..." The more James struggled, the more Delia's
underwear constricted and confined. "Pantyhose... I never thought I
would see the day when they were used in a plot and I wasn't wearing
them! Oh wait... I AM wearing them. Hahahahha. And the Twerp-mother's
drool. I HAVE to get out of here!"
A MIME! Togepi's eyes began to glow red, exposing the pokemon for the
satanic, life-sucking demon it was. It lost all sense of its cute alter
ego. "TOGEGEGEGEGEEGE PRIIIIIIIIIIIII!" If Togepi was not going to be
fulfilled, then no one would be!
The bed began to float and then... with a deafening roar and crash it
smashed through the window/wall and out into the night.
"Thank God I'm blasting off again!" James moaned as his bound mime body
flew somewhere into the woods behind the house.
+ + +
"Gosh, this is so exciting!" Ash said, happily skipping into the woods.
"Why?" Misty asked against her better judgment.
"Well, I get to find a Mr. Mime -and- stay out way past curfew! This is
like the best visit home ever!"
"Ash." They were pretty far into the woods... The redhead wondered
idly if there was an Officer Jenny in Pallet Town.
+ + +
"Hello all, did you kids need me for anything?" Delia's voice was a bit
more harsh than it usually was, but circumstances being what they were,
she felt it more than appropriate. But when she went down the stairs,
no one was there. The front door was hanging open, letting in a cool
breeze that tangled around her bare legs. "Honey? Misty? Brock?"
There was a muffled sound from the kitchen, and she followed it, against
her better judgment. Most likely, Ash had decided he was bored, and ran
off looking for more pokemon or something, instead of going to bed. And
that was bad because little boys needed to keep their curfew, but good
because it left her quality time for Mimey, who was currently tied to
her bed, writhing, waiting for her...
Of course, it could be a criminal, or that pervy old guy who kept
sneaking around in a lab coat. She idly wondered if Professor Oak had
the same problem? Oh, if some criminal were tracking through her
begonias, or worse, messing up the kitchen...
Grabbing the poker from the fireplace, Delia walked up to the door to
the kitchen. If anything, the sounds intensified. Gritting her teeth,
she kicked in the door, letting out a fierce yell.
At that point, lots of things happened at the same time. As the door
swung open, she caught a glimpse of a mass of mostly furry yellow,
cream, brown and red. Then an odd, high-pitched shriek, and the mass
broke apart into its component flesh tones (the red stayed speckled
about), and fell off the counter. The door swung shut.
Delia blinked a few times.
Setting her jaw, she pushed the door open again, only to be pushed out
of the way by a giant explosion. Or at least, it sounded and felt so...
As the woman fell to the ground, she saw Brock in his boxers running
out, carrying a bundle of clothing, followed by some sort of cat thing,
and Pikachu. They were out like shots, running straight out of the
front door and disappearing into the night before she could make a
protest.
She opened the door to the kitchen and screamed. Ketchup was
-everywhere- -- no wonder the boys had fled. Her internal temperature
was rising-- No. Mimey was upstairs. She would finish with him, then
they would clean. Clean together...
Rushing back upstairs, she opened the door to her room. For some
reason, it seemed to be a lot more spacious than before. The sky was
really beautiful tonight as well.
...Wait a minute.
"Toge toge," the egg said, semi-apologetically.
+ + +
The wail was of one who had lost everything they'd ever desired. "MY
TAPE~!"
+ + +
"Hey Misty, did you hear that?"
She shook her head, not turning her attention to where she'd found an
ant hill and was brutally stabbing it with a stick. Die, little bug
fuckers. Hate for you all. Too bad she couldn't do that to Ash and his
family. Kill kill kill...
"Okay, Misty, you had to hear that one!"
"What?" she snapped. What the hell was he talking about now? Geez, she
didn't know why she put up with this shit.
"That call. It sounded like-- like a moltres! I'm gonna catch it this
time for sure!" Setting his jaw, Ash turned his cap backwards, grinning
confidently. "Squirtle! I choose y--"
The little turtle pokemon did come out. But Ash had to stop talking
because a bed fell on him. Squirtle sweatdropped, and Misty covered her
eyes; this bed was covered with silky undergarments, and tied within
those was an abnormally large Mr. Mime covered in a brown substance,
probably chocolate syrup. "Mime," it cried; though it could have
actually said 'help.'
"Squirtle," Ash said weakly from beneath the bed. "Water gun attack!"
The pokemon shrugged, then let loose a fire hose's worth of water onto
the 'Mr. Mime.' "OOoooOOOooOOO," it shrieked, now looking rumpled and
waterlogged, though no longer chocolate covered. Eventually the force
of the blast allowed it to wriggle out from its bonds, and it flopped
off the bed, face down.
"Good job, Squirtle!" Ash cheered, now jumping on the bed. Mom never
let him do that -- lucky one appeared in the woods. "Now it's weakened,
and I can catch it!"
"Ash," Misty began.
"Wait a minute," the 'Mr. Mime' cried. It started squealing again as
Ash started chucking pokeballs at it.
"Why isn't it going in the pokeball?" Ash cried. "It must be a lot
stronger than it looks!"
"Ash--!"
"I'm not a pokemon," James yelled, irate, pulling off his mime-head.
"Ow!" Ash threw another pokeball at his real head, just in case.
"Oh... Squirtle, return. -Somebody's- just playing a trick on us.
Oooh, you Team Rocket jerks are so mean!"
"Hmmph," James hmmphed, turning up his nose. He stood, gathering what
little dignity he had left (not much), and wandered back into the woods,
roughly towards the house.
Misty couldn't just let him leave-- couldn't let him go back. "I
figured of all of you, -you- would be the one not to do this! How could
you--" She couldn't finish the sentence. It was too disturbing.
James turned back, expression pure anguish, and for a brief, shining
instant, she understood; their souls were one; no words were necessary.
Then he turned back, wetly slogging back through the forest.
Misty let him go. God damn. "So it was a flaming moltres after all,"
she muttered.
Ash shook his head, scolding. "No, no, Misty, James isn't a moltres.
Couldn't you tell that was just a costume?"
Okay, fuck the Officer Jenny. Misty kicked Ash's ass.
+ + +
"Mime," Mimey said.
"Yes... like that. Or no, could you... a little to the left?"
"Mime?"
"Oohh, that's good. Now, hold like that for a bit..."
"Mime..."
Tracey Sketchit grinned, his pencil flying over the paper. Mrs. Ketchum
would love this picture of her pokemon. And if Mrs. Ketchum was happy,
then Professor Oak was happy. And if Professor Oak was happy...
Ooh, calm down; Mrs. Ketchum wouldn't appreciate if her picture was wet.
He wiped his mouth, finishing up, and stood. "Well, Mimey, I think it's
time we got home, all right?"
"Mime," it agreed happily. They started off towards the Ketchum
residence.
+ + +
to be continued...!!!!!!!
+ + +
Next: a triple threat.
Somebody gets some -- or not.
This is a haiku.
FUN FACT: Ships mentioned/implied to date:
..(in rough order of the percentage of their presence)
Mimeshipping (delia x mimey)
piketshipping (pikachu x ketchup)
krazyshipping (meowth x pikachu)
brocketshipping / (brock x meowth) /
brocketchupshipping (brock x pikachu x ketchup)
kitchenshipping (delia x brock)
voyeurshipping (tracey x pokemon (mimey))
palletshipping (ash x gary)
bouldershipping (ash x brock)
queershipping (james (gay) x jessie)
heroworshipping (tracey x prof. oak)
eldershipping (prof. oak x delia)
gymshipping (misty x brock)
twerpshipping (ash (annoying) x misty)
maybe some more that I'm forgetting..
What's the ship you want to see? (this is your chance to be instrumental
in the crafting of a future pokememime chapter! Like the piccolo, or
the triangle, or second violin, seventh chair.) Review and we'll
feature it! And who says we don't cater to the people?
Anyone who knows what the title is from is at least as geeky as adam is.
Go get yourself a cookie. Or get me one. Whichever works.
squicking themselves? We haven't hit the limit quite yet, and so we
trudge on...
+ + +
pokememime
part vii – he never told me he was a mime
by malkuth and adam
+ + +
Meowth made a very cat-like mewl, unable to form coherent thoughts at
present. Pikachu was silent as well, its mouth busy with other
pursuits.
Brock, flushed and panting, was the only one who voiced anything.
"It... worked..."
+ + +
Togepi was not the brightest light in the world-- or was it?
He had been left in Ash's room with one overused porn magazine. Poor
Togepi only wanted to find Misty... and true love. There was no easy
way around it. Togepi would have to take things into its own evil
little hands-- er, flippery things.
"Toge toge prri!" it muttered hornily. Where was Misty? Since she
wasn't around there was no point in putting himself into mortal danger
because there were no underdeveloped-yet-obviously-there breasts for him
to snuggle into. It was bored, hungry and decided to take action.
It toddled down the hall past the bathroom until...
"OOOOoooooOOOOOoo!!!!"
"Oh Mimey, you've never made that noise before! Your ambiguous sexual
nature makes me want to... Want to... Suck you like a Bulbasaur!!!!
Oh yes! Let me taste your pollen! YES!!!"
Togepi wanted more... it wanted to know more... It wanted to -see- more.
It would have more. For once it employed its psychic powers.
*knock knock knock*
"Oh dear, somebody is at the door. Mimey, be a dear and wait a moment."
"Jessie... I mean Mime.. Oooo... uhhhh." The pain was clear in the
voice.
The door opened and there was Mrs. Ketchum dressed in a pink bathrobe
with clown makeup on, much like Folken, except a crazy housemother
instead of a hot sciencey type with wings. She stared out and saw no
one... she looked side to side and then began to wonder, "It might have
been one of the children. I had better go check and make sure they stay
downstairs. I'll be right back, Mime honey-- but I guess you really
can't go anywhere!"
She smiled and closed the door-- almost. It was easy for Togepi to push
the door open once the human woman had left... of course, there was no
point now. All it saw was the abnormally large mime suspended in the
bed... with chocolate sauce on... certain areas of it.
A fire began to burn in the back of Togepi's little yet acute brain.
Here was a pokemon getting all the loving, and he was lacking in all
areas. IT was a mime.
"Is anybody there? Oh, I just hate being all caught up like this!
Maybe I can get free..." The more James struggled, the more Delia's
underwear constricted and confined. "Pantyhose... I never thought I
would see the day when they were used in a plot and I wasn't wearing
them! Oh wait... I AM wearing them. Hahahahha. And the Twerp-mother's
drool. I HAVE to get out of here!"
A MIME! Togepi's eyes began to glow red, exposing the pokemon for the
satanic, life-sucking demon it was. It lost all sense of its cute alter
ego. "TOGEGEGEGEGEEGE PRIIIIIIIIIIIII!" If Togepi was not going to be
fulfilled, then no one would be!
The bed began to float and then... with a deafening roar and crash it
smashed through the window/wall and out into the night.
"Thank God I'm blasting off again!" James moaned as his bound mime body
flew somewhere into the woods behind the house.
+ + +
"Gosh, this is so exciting!" Ash said, happily skipping into the woods.
"Why?" Misty asked against her better judgment.
"Well, I get to find a Mr. Mime -and- stay out way past curfew! This is
like the best visit home ever!"
"Ash." They were pretty far into the woods... The redhead wondered
idly if there was an Officer Jenny in Pallet Town.
+ + +
"Hello all, did you kids need me for anything?" Delia's voice was a bit
more harsh than it usually was, but circumstances being what they were,
she felt it more than appropriate. But when she went down the stairs,
no one was there. The front door was hanging open, letting in a cool
breeze that tangled around her bare legs. "Honey? Misty? Brock?"
There was a muffled sound from the kitchen, and she followed it, against
her better judgment. Most likely, Ash had decided he was bored, and ran
off looking for more pokemon or something, instead of going to bed. And
that was bad because little boys needed to keep their curfew, but good
because it left her quality time for Mimey, who was currently tied to
her bed, writhing, waiting for her...
Of course, it could be a criminal, or that pervy old guy who kept
sneaking around in a lab coat. She idly wondered if Professor Oak had
the same problem? Oh, if some criminal were tracking through her
begonias, or worse, messing up the kitchen...
Grabbing the poker from the fireplace, Delia walked up to the door to
the kitchen. If anything, the sounds intensified. Gritting her teeth,
she kicked in the door, letting out a fierce yell.
At that point, lots of things happened at the same time. As the door
swung open, she caught a glimpse of a mass of mostly furry yellow,
cream, brown and red. Then an odd, high-pitched shriek, and the mass
broke apart into its component flesh tones (the red stayed speckled
about), and fell off the counter. The door swung shut.
Delia blinked a few times.
Setting her jaw, she pushed the door open again, only to be pushed out
of the way by a giant explosion. Or at least, it sounded and felt so...
As the woman fell to the ground, she saw Brock in his boxers running
out, carrying a bundle of clothing, followed by some sort of cat thing,
and Pikachu. They were out like shots, running straight out of the
front door and disappearing into the night before she could make a
protest.
She opened the door to the kitchen and screamed. Ketchup was
-everywhere- -- no wonder the boys had fled. Her internal temperature
was rising-- No. Mimey was upstairs. She would finish with him, then
they would clean. Clean together...
Rushing back upstairs, she opened the door to her room. For some
reason, it seemed to be a lot more spacious than before. The sky was
really beautiful tonight as well.
...Wait a minute.
"Toge toge," the egg said, semi-apologetically.
+ + +
The wail was of one who had lost everything they'd ever desired. "MY
TAPE~!"
+ + +
"Hey Misty, did you hear that?"
She shook her head, not turning her attention to where she'd found an
ant hill and was brutally stabbing it with a stick. Die, little bug
fuckers. Hate for you all. Too bad she couldn't do that to Ash and his
family. Kill kill kill...
"Okay, Misty, you had to hear that one!"
"What?" she snapped. What the hell was he talking about now? Geez, she
didn't know why she put up with this shit.
"That call. It sounded like-- like a moltres! I'm gonna catch it this
time for sure!" Setting his jaw, Ash turned his cap backwards, grinning
confidently. "Squirtle! I choose y--"
The little turtle pokemon did come out. But Ash had to stop talking
because a bed fell on him. Squirtle sweatdropped, and Misty covered her
eyes; this bed was covered with silky undergarments, and tied within
those was an abnormally large Mr. Mime covered in a brown substance,
probably chocolate syrup. "Mime," it cried; though it could have
actually said 'help.'
"Squirtle," Ash said weakly from beneath the bed. "Water gun attack!"
The pokemon shrugged, then let loose a fire hose's worth of water onto
the 'Mr. Mime.' "OOoooOOOooOOO," it shrieked, now looking rumpled and
waterlogged, though no longer chocolate covered. Eventually the force
of the blast allowed it to wriggle out from its bonds, and it flopped
off the bed, face down.
"Good job, Squirtle!" Ash cheered, now jumping on the bed. Mom never
let him do that -- lucky one appeared in the woods. "Now it's weakened,
and I can catch it!"
"Ash," Misty began.
"Wait a minute," the 'Mr. Mime' cried. It started squealing again as
Ash started chucking pokeballs at it.
"Why isn't it going in the pokeball?" Ash cried. "It must be a lot
stronger than it looks!"
"Ash--!"
"I'm not a pokemon," James yelled, irate, pulling off his mime-head.
"Ow!" Ash threw another pokeball at his real head, just in case.
"Oh... Squirtle, return. -Somebody's- just playing a trick on us.
Oooh, you Team Rocket jerks are so mean!"
"Hmmph," James hmmphed, turning up his nose. He stood, gathering what
little dignity he had left (not much), and wandered back into the woods,
roughly towards the house.
Misty couldn't just let him leave-- couldn't let him go back. "I
figured of all of you, -you- would be the one not to do this! How could
you--" She couldn't finish the sentence. It was too disturbing.
James turned back, expression pure anguish, and for a brief, shining
instant, she understood; their souls were one; no words were necessary.
Then he turned back, wetly slogging back through the forest.
Misty let him go. God damn. "So it was a flaming moltres after all,"
she muttered.
Ash shook his head, scolding. "No, no, Misty, James isn't a moltres.
Couldn't you tell that was just a costume?"
Okay, fuck the Officer Jenny. Misty kicked Ash's ass.
+ + +
"Mime," Mimey said.
"Yes... like that. Or no, could you... a little to the left?"
"Mime?"
"Oohh, that's good. Now, hold like that for a bit..."
"Mime..."
Tracey Sketchit grinned, his pencil flying over the paper. Mrs. Ketchum
would love this picture of her pokemon. And if Mrs. Ketchum was happy,
then Professor Oak was happy. And if Professor Oak was happy...
Ooh, calm down; Mrs. Ketchum wouldn't appreciate if her picture was wet.
He wiped his mouth, finishing up, and stood. "Well, Mimey, I think it's
time we got home, all right?"
"Mime," it agreed happily. They started off towards the Ketchum
residence.
+ + +
to be continued...!!!!!!!
+ + +
Next: a triple threat.
Somebody gets some -- or not.
This is a haiku.
FUN FACT: Ships mentioned/implied to date:
..(in rough order of the percentage of their presence)
Mimeshipping (delia x mimey)
piketshipping (pikachu x ketchup)
krazyshipping (meowth x pikachu)
brocketshipping / (brock x meowth) /
brocketchupshipping (brock x pikachu x ketchup)
kitchenshipping (delia x brock)
voyeurshipping (tracey x pokemon (mimey))
palletshipping (ash x gary)
bouldershipping (ash x brock)
queershipping (james (gay) x jessie)
heroworshipping (tracey x prof. oak)
eldershipping (prof. oak x delia)
gymshipping (misty x brock)
twerpshipping (ash (annoying) x misty)
maybe some more that I'm forgetting..
What's the ship you want to see? (this is your chance to be instrumental
in the crafting of a future pokememime chapter! Like the piccolo, or
the triangle, or second violin, seventh chair.) Review and we'll
feature it! And who says we don't cater to the people?
Anyone who knows what the title is from is at least as geeky as adam is.
Go get yourself a cookie. Or get me one. Whichever works.