Unintended – A Loss of Faith

~Chapter 21 –Fighting for Grossness~

Being at Dr. Amun's house was odd. Everything there was an organized chaotic mess, and it was actually ironically funny.

"How do you get anything done in here?" I asked as I looked in his home office.

"I know where everything is," he assured me with a smile. "Everyone has their flaws Edward, and it's best to be open about them," he explained.

The therapy sessions were intense, but I was surprised by how little I fought them. I was open and tried like hell to do everything and say anything he asked. I wanted nothing more than to go back home, but even more than being there for myself, I knew Bella needed that time.

When Monday came, I drove over to the Cullens to see Carlie before school, and I was pleasantly surprised when Bella asked for a ride to school with me. I could see that she was really trying to not be so independent, and she was pushing herself to allow others to help her, which was definitely a good thing. Independence was important, but we as humans needed others around, and that was a new realization for her.

"So…how are you feeling on the new medication?" I asked her on the drive to school. It wasn't the first I had seen her since I moved in with Amun, but it was our first time alone.

"Good…so far. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop….I guess I'm just not very optimistic," she admitted.

"No, it's going to work this time, I just know it," I told her confidently.

"Well, how are you doing?" she asked concerned.

I shrugged. "It's definitely not the happiest place on earth, but…it's cool."

When we got to school, I asked her if she wanted me to walk her to class, and she surprisingly nodded. I spent that entire day worried about her, but when lunch came and I saw her sitting with Angela again, I knew things were going to be alright. No one asked Bella about her brief departure from the group, and I was glad, she didn't need to get into all that with any of them…though, I was fairly certain she had talked to Angela.

We didn't speak much at lunch, but it wasn't awkward at all, and I was grateful for that. She was waiting for me after school by my car, and we drove home with light casual chatter. When we got to the Cullens, we both were eager to see Carlie, so we took turns with her as the other worked on homework. We all ate dinner together, and then I said goodnight, and headed back to Dr. Amun's for the night.

It pretty much went on the same way all week, and with every passing day, I felt like we were just one step closer to our ultimate goal of normalcy. But then we ran into an unexpected complication that changed everything and threw us off course….

"Edward, I think you should come down here as quick as you can," Esme called me one evening.

"What's wrong?" I asked as I already began heading to my car.

"Carlie and Bella are fine, we just have a little issue and you'll understand when you get here," she explained, without really explaining anything.

"Ok, I'll be there in ten minutes," I said before hanging up the phone and pushing harder on the gas pedal. When I got there, I saw Pastor Swan's car in the driveway, and I soon realized that he wasn't there on a pleasant social visit.

"I don't have to wait for anyone!" I heard Charlie's voice carry as I walked into the house. "Bella should be someplace that she can get the proper help she needs. I've made arrangements for her, and you're not going to tell me that I can't take her!"

"What the hell is going on?" I asked angrily as I walked onto the scene. Charlie was in the kitchen with two other men, and they appeared to be in a standoff with Carlisle and Esme, but Bella was nowhere to be seen.

"I'm taking my daughter away from this situation, once and for all," Charlie said sternly. "This was a mistake from the beginning, and I'm sorry I've let it go on for so long.

I almost wanted to laugh at the man. He chose then to be an involved parent? It was pathetic and there was no way I was going to let him get away with it.

"Hold on, you're not taking her anywhere," I said assuredly. "She was fine before here, and she only got worse because she was on her own."

"I can't believe no one told me she's been sick," he said angrily, ignoring my comment. "I had to find out from one of the kids at church. I'm her father, and I have a right to know what's going on in my child's life."

"Who told you?" I asked seriously curious. I wasn't purposely trying to hide it from him, but to be perfectly honest, the thought never even crossed my mind. He was an absentee parent, so he was absent in my mind as well.

"It doesn't matter," he said quickly. "But I'm taking charge of her care now."

"You're not taking her anywhere," I insisted strongly.

"We've already explained to Mr. Swan that Bella is doing well, and moving her now would be detrimental to her recovery," Carlisle said to me calmly.

"And as I explained already to you, I have made arrangements for her elsewhere. She doesn't need to be around any of this, and if she's going to get better than she needs to be separated from the issue," Charlie rebutted.

"Uh…by issue, do you mean our daughter? Cause, I've given her the space she needs from me, so the only thing I can think of that you would be talking about there, is the baby."

"I do think some time away would be good for her. Not forever, but just some time. Bella can't worry about being a mother when she needs to be worried about getting better," Charlie explained.

Fucking pathetic.

"And I suppose you think Bella's mother taking off when she did, was what was best as well," I said mockingly.

Charlie didn't respond, he just glared at me; he knew I was right and there wasn't anything he could say about it.

I heard a quiet noise from the stairs, so I subtly looked over and saw Bella there holding the baby monitor, looking absolutely horrified. Bella didn't want to leave, and she was scared that she'd be forced to.

"Charlie, I appreciate your sudden concern and all, but you're not taking Bella anywhere," I said evenly. I would not get pissed and lose control on him, I had to remain focused and make it perfectly clear that he had no authority over Bella anymore.

"She is seventeen years old, and she will do what I think is best," he said.

"Sorry to tell you this, but you lost the right to make decisions for her the day you married us," I told him slightly arrogantly.

"You're divorced," he stated.

"Not yet…Listen, if I thought Bella leaving would help her, I would let her go, but running from her problems isn't going to accomplish anything except repress them. Believe me, I know what it's like to try and hide from the pain, but that doesn't work. She needs to face it head on, and that's what she's doing here."

As I said the words, I realized that they were true for more than just her emotional problems and insecurities of being a mother. Perhaps I was wrong before about needing to give her space, perhaps I needed to be there and fight for my marriage. Bella had constantly been around people who went away, but that's not what she needs, and I knew right then that I wouldn't spend another night at Dr. Amun's place. I appreciated what he was trying to do, but he was going to have to find another patient to try out his theories, because I belonged at home with my wife and daughter.

"I'm sorry Charlie, but Bella is my responsibility now, and I refuse to let you or anyone else take her from me. I will stop at nothing to make sure she's better…and she will get better," I told him with conviction.

He stared at me coldly for a long moment, but suddenly and unexpectedly, he nodded. "Good," he said finally. "She deserves to have someone fight for her," he said quietly, before turning and leaving the house with the other men following behind him.

What the fuck just happened?

"Well…I think Charlie saw your dedication," Esme said supportively with a smile.

"Good job son," Carlisle said with a light pat on my back.

"Carlisle…I don't want to go back to Dr. Amun's," I told him then.

He took a deep breath, and then nodded. "Ok," he said simply. He wasn't disappointed or relieved by my decision. It was odd, but he didn't seem to have an opinion on the matter at all, and it actually made me feel really good. He trusted my judgment…like an adult, and whatever I decided to do, I knew he would support me completely.

I looked back over to the stairs where I saw Bella before, and she was gone, so I had no idea how much she heard or how she felt on the matter. But I couldn't worry about that either; I was done trying to do what I thought Bella wanted, because what we both needed was to move on with our lives, and our lives were meant to be together. I was sure of that fact now, and Bella would just have to accept it. I would never force myself on her, but I was positive that I wouldn't have to. Bella loved me, and that's all I needed as a catalyst to move forward.

"Emmett's bed is all ready for you," Esme said.

"Uh…thanks, but I mean I don't want to go back to Dr. Amun's house at all," I explained thinking she assumed it was just for the night.

"Well, we always knew you would be coming back here, so we already planned on you moving into Emmett's room," she told me.

"Where are Emmett and Rose going to stay when they're here?" I asked, not wanting to take over their space completely.

"I've ordered a Murphy bed for my office," Carlisle jumped in.

"A Murphy bed? …Oh, are those the ones that look like book shelves and then they pull down from the wall?" I asked curiously.

"Exactly," Carlisle said with a strange level of excitement lacing his words. It was actually funny how something like a Murphy bed could make the man excited.

"Wow…cool. Thanks for all of this," I told both of them. Once again, I was completely rearranging their lives and home and I felt horribly guilty for it, but grateful even more. "I should go…talk to Bella," I said hesitantly, suddenly feeling nervous.

"I'll call Dr. Amun for you and arrange to go back to your original once a week schedule," Carlisle offered.

"Thanks," I told him before turning around and running up the stairs. When I got to the top, I was surprised to see the door to the bedroom open…for whatever reason, I was expecting it to be closed. But I tapped on it anyway, before walking in to find Bella sitting on the edge of the bed as if she was waiting for me. Carlie was sleeping in the cradle, and I was grateful for the fact that she was a good sleeper, because Bella and I definitely had a lot we needed to discuss.

"So…you heard all that?" I asked to be sure. She nodded, so I continued. "Are you Ok…what do you think about all of it?"

"I'm glad you're here," she told me. "I was worried when my dad showed up here wanting to take me away; I wasn't sure what the law was about all of that."

"He has no authority to make decisions for you anymore," I told her quietly. Since she went back upstairs before I told Carlisle that I was moving home, I figured that would be the best place to start. "I'm not going back to Dr. Amun's…I'm moving home. As long as you and Carlie are here, I will be too."

She nodded. "I heard that too," she mumbled.

"You did?"

"Yeah…I'm glad. I love Esme and Carlisle, but it's so strange being here without you," she said unexpectedly. I had been so relieved that I could finally read Bella's emotions properly before, but suddenly I was lost again. She seemed confusingly calm yet anxious, excited but scared at the same time, which couldn't be accurate….could it?

I wasn't sure if I should tell her right then about my decision to not let her push me away anymore, but then I took a deep breath and went for it. "Bella, I'm not going to pressure you or anything, but I refuse to give up on us. I love you, you love me, and we can't let anything or anyone get in the way of that anymore. Being apart isn't the solution, and with time…especially after I prove Vicky's baby isn't mine, all this bullshit will be long over, and we'll be stronger than ever. We just need to hold on till then, but I won't let this continue to slip away. We need to be together, and even if the divorce goes through, it's only temporary, because I will be married to you again."

I tried to make myself sound confident, but I wasn't sure how well it worked because inside I was scared as hell that she was going to shove my words back into my face, and tell me to go fuck myself. The last thing I wanted to do was set us back, but I truly believed we had spent enough time apart, and I wanted to get our lives back on track.

Bella's face gave nothing away, but then she sighed and completely changed the direction of conversation into one I never would have expected.

"I just got my period," she said abruptly.

"Uh…ok…good," I said, unsure as to why she was telling me that, especially right then.

"It is good, I was a few days late," she said suggestively.

Oh.

"Like...you thought…?" I couldn't even finish that statement; it was too fucking ridiculously fucked up to even think about something like that.

She nodded. "We didn't exactly use protection at that party, but spending a day worrying about it, actually forced me to think about things more clearly."

"Why didn't you tell me you were…late?" I asked with a gulp. It was even fucking hard to say the word 'late' in that context.

"I was going to tell you today if I didn't get it, but…I got it," she said with more mixed emotions.

"Ok…well good…right?" I asked, confused even more.

"Yeah, it's definitely good. I mean, we have a baby, and then you could have another one on its way already, so, me being pregnant right now would have been seriously…fucked up," she said, echoing my thoughts completely.

"But?" I prompted. It was obvious that she had more to say on the topic, so I waited for her to continue.

"But a part of me was slightly disappointed as well."

"Huh?" I asked shocked.

"Don't get me wrong, having another baby right now would not be good for anyone, but…I miss it. I miss having your baby inside of me, but I realized that it isn't really even about the baby. Being pregnant…is like having you with me and inside of me all the time. I took you everywhere then, and I miss it. There's even a part of me that's actually jealous of Vicky, because there's a chance that she still gets to have that."

"Bella…" I was about to argue with her and pretty much tell her how stupid that was, but she cut me off.

"But, it made me realize something."

"Ok, what?" I asked, unsure if I really even wanted to know.

"I was looking at Carlie yesterday, and I realized that I love her…because she's you. She came from you, and as much as I hate Vicky, she was right before in the hospital. If her baby is yours, then it'll probably look like you just as much as Carlie does. I mean, let's face it, you have some pretty strong genes," she said with a light laugh.

"What are you saying?" I asked bewildered.

"I've made a mess of this, but I finally know that none of it really matters. I love you, and I love Carlie because she came from you…so how could I not love any other baby that came from you too? If Vicky's child turns out to be yours, then you can count on me to help you do whatever it takes to care for it…I'm assuming that you're going to try to get custody, right?"

"Uh…yeah…Hold on, back up. You're going to do what?" I asked in shock.

"Vicky just doesn't seem to really care about the baby. Obviously, she just wants the money, I mean, she was after rich guys long before she got pregnant, so…you'll pay her, and she'll go away."

"You would help me raise it?" I asked absently. I could not believe we were even having that conversation, but the fact that we were, just cemented everything I never even dared to ever hope for. Bella was telling me we were going to be together, no matter the outcome of the Vicky thing, and I seriously felt like I could fucking fly. The last thing I really wanted was for Vicky's kid to be mine, but if it was then I would have to take care of it, but learning Bella was going to be with me through everything, just made all the difference in the world.

She bit her lip, and nodded. "I love you, and I'm not going to continue to allow Vicky and James to get in the way of that. You didn't have a choice in that situation, but we can choose to not let it ruin the rest of our lives. We need to be together, for us and our family…and if that includes Vicky's baby, then we'll have to give that child as much love as we're capable of."

And just like that, I felt like I had finally woken from the worst nightmare imaginable.

"I love you so much," I told her intensely.

"I love you too," she said emotionally with tears in her eyes.

"So…we're back then?" I asked, just to be sure I wasn't misunderstanding her.

She reached her hand up to caress my face as a tear spilled over her cheek, and then she smiled and nodded.

Without her removing her hand from my cheek, I gently cradled her face in my hands, before slowly leaning into her. Our lips brushed against the other's carefully, just testing each other out, and it felt absolutely fucking amazing.

I had been so blinded by my anger before at that party, that I really didn't remember the feeling of her skin on mine then, so it felt like it had been a lifetime since I touched her like that…and it had. The last time we kissed…really kissed, was before our daughter was born, so everything had changed since then. But surprisingly, the feelings passing between us were stronger than ever.

It wasn't like coming back together, it was more like a fresh new start. The pain from our separation, and all the hurt we caused each other, was completely gone. Not healed, but as if there was no pain in the first place. We had been through hell and we were stronger because of it, and I didn't have a doubt in my mind that we would always be together from then on out. Nothing would come between us again, I wouldn't allow it.

Our kiss became stronger and more intense, but I wasn't worried about it being too much or too fast for her, because I knew she was ready…we both were.

"Um…Edward," she said quietly as my kisses moved to her neck as I began unbuttoning her shirt.

"Mmm?" I couldn't stop kissing her, so I didn't. God, her skin tasted so fucking good, and I really wondered how I lived without it for so long.

"Edward," she said a little stronger after I pulled her shirt off and started working on her pants.

"What?" I finally forced myself to ask. "What's wrong?"

"We can't do this," she said unexpectedly. Ok… I thought we both wanted it; could I have been wrong? Bella was definitely putting the brakes on, and my stomach actually dropped from just the thought of not being able to touch her again.

"Why?" I asked desperately.

Her face broke out into one of the biggest smiles I had ever seen on her face before, which only confused me even more, but I couldn't help but smile with her regardless. But then her smile faded and she bit her bottom lip as her face darkened three of the most remarkable shades of pink.

"I told you…I'm on my period," she mumbled embarrassedly.

Oh…right, fuck.

Bella and I had our entire relationship while she was pregnant, so we never had to deal with that, and I sure as hell didn't want to deal with it right then either. I wanted to be inside her, and truthfully, I didn't give a shit about anything else, not even her period. What's a little blood anyway?

"It's fine," I said as I continued to try to remove her pants.

"Ugh, that's gross," she said with a disturbed laugh.

Was it? Because I seriously couldn't think of anything coming from her as being gross.

"I don't care," I insisted, and I wasn't just saying it, I really legitimately didn't care. "At least you can't get pregnant right now, right?"

"Edward," she giggled as I continued kissing her, refusing to give up. "Why don't you just give me a minute, and then we can figure out a different place for you to stick it," she said while wiggling out from under me and practically running to the bathroom.

But I didn't want to stick it anywhere else, I wanted to make love to her, not some cheap blowjob or fucking through the backdoor, so I rushed after her before she had a chance to lock the door.

"What are you doing?" she asked amused by my persistence.

"I just felt like I could use a shower," I said with a mischievous grin, and I didn't give her a chance to argue. I turned it on, and immediately began stripping before pulling her in with me.

"You're crazy," she said lightly with a smile.

"That's a really mean comment seeing how I was just forced to be a test subject for a future loony bin," I joked as straight faced as possible.

"Well, with how odd I've been acting lately, we might as well throw 'mean' on the pile as well," she said before I shut her up with my mouth crushing down on hers.

It was wonderfully strange how quickly things turned around for us. We just made the decision to fight for our relationship and be together, and we were. There was no warming period, no awkwardness…and absolutely no more modesty.

It may sound disgusting, but I couldn't wait to be one of those couples who were perfectly comfortable using the toilet and passing gas in front of each other. It was a sign of complete love and trust; being confident in the fact that there wasn't anything we could do that would turn the other away, was truly an amazing thing. I wanted to take her for granted, and yet be thankful for her every single day for the rest of my life, and suddenly I felt extremely lucky. Most people never find their true other half, and there I was at seventeen years old, and I was positive I was with mine once and for all.

Everything was different after that, and yet it all finally felt right. We held each other all night long, and we spent that time murmuring 'I love yous' and staring at each other in awe, before finally falling asleep wrapped up in each other's arms. It was truly one of the best nights of my life; I had my baby peacefully sleeping a few feet away, and the love of my life by my side, so it couldn't possibly get any better than that.

The next morning, we sat down with the Cullens and discussed the changes. We just felt it was only right to tell them exactly what our plans were moving forward.

"Well, I think it's good that you're going into it openly, and with complete honesty between you," Carlisle said after we finished saying everything we wanted to say.

"And we're so happy for you," Esme added excitedly while grabbing us for a huge hug. It was obvious how much lighter both Bella and I felt from being back together, and Esme was absolutely thrilled because of it.

"And the divorce?" Carlisle questioned. "I'm not sure if we can have it retracted at this point."

I looked at Bella, and we both smiled at each other. "No, we're happy to be divorced. That marriage was wrong from the beginning, and the next time we get married, we're going to do it for the right reasons," I explained.

"…Oooo!" Esme squealed while wailing her arms around enthusiastically, and yes, she hugged us again.

"Bella, I think it would be best to get you on birth control right away, but you're going to have to be very careful with the new medication being added to what you're already taking. You can do it safely, but we need to keep a close eye on it," he said to her but kept glancing at me meaningfully, so I knew that responsibility was basically mine. I needed to take care of her and watch for any signs of problems, and of course, I would. She was my life, and I wasn't going to let anything, medications or otherwise, get between us again.

School had changed as well. We were constantly holding hands and kissing, she would even sit on my lap during lunch whenever possible. When we weren't in separate classes, we were together; constantly together, and we wouldn't have it any other way.

The only concern I had left, the only test Bella and I still had to go through, was the Vicky thing. Bella said she would stand by me, but perhaps she would feel differently when we were actually faced with it. Only time would tell, but whatever the case, I was going to fight like hell to keep what was mine…everything that was mine.

****Winding down soon. I'm guessing two regular chapters left and then an epilogue, but don't hold me to that, because I'm just not exactly sure

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