Chapter Seven
A/N I'm really really sorry it took me so long to update, but I had an operation on my hand, and I was stuck in hospital, and then I was really ill and I'm just the world's biggest procrastinator, and I'll try to upload more, but the next chapter's gonna be a KILLER, so it'll take ages to write, but it'll be worth it (I hope) so yeah sorry.
There's a knock on my door, and I gesture for Dan and Phil to come in. From the delicate way they're both holding their arms, I can guess were they've just been.
"Had the blood test, huh?" I ask.
Dan nods, and Phil shudders.
"I hate needles," Phil complains.
"Me too!" I agree. I've been coming into far too much contact with them in the last few months.
"I'm surrounded by wusses…" Dan teases.
"So, do you know when you get the results?" I ask, subtly. I've decided not to tell them about my meeting with Doctor Song. It's hardly fair to make them think that they have to do this, or it's their fault if it goes wrong.
"I'm not sure, But probably only a few days. I guess they'd want to find out pretty quickly," Phil reassures me.
'Yeah, they would now,' I think to myself.
Dan and Phil sit on the bed either side of me. I look up at them, my brow furrowed.
"Is everything okay?" Dan asks, his concern evident on his face.
"What? Of course it is!" I lie, faking a grin. "I just don't want you two to feel, like, under pressure or anything."
"It's fine Tessa, we don't," Phil says.
"Yeah, it's not like a lung or anything. Who even needs a kidney?" Dan laughs.
"Um, me?" I reply.
They both laugh. I wasn't trying to be funny, but I laugh along anyway. I notice Dan looking across me towards Phil, and I pretend not to notice the meaningful look being exchanged. I don't want to get involved in any of their business. And I don't want them to feel bad about leaving, because I can't think of anything else they'd want to do right now. What with everything that's happened to me, even before the cancer, my self-esteem is about as low as it can get.
Dan and Phil both stand up, and I realise that they are going to leave. I look down, ready for them to make up some crappy excuse like everyone else does, but they each take one of my hands and pull me up, off of my bed.
Confused, I look at Phil, then Dan.
"What?" I say.
"We, uh, have something to give you," Dan begins.
I'm very confused. They're both prepared to give me a freaking organ!
"Haven't you done enough for me? I mean, I appreciate it, more than you can imagine, even, but I really-"
"Tessa!" Phil cries.
I'm shocked into silence by his sudden outburst. Dan was always the bitchy, sassy one, or at least that's how it came across. But I didn't know them as people, just AmazingPhil and Danisnotonfire. They had their own lives, and for some reason, I had become a tiny part of that. It was too late for reading fanfic and internally crying 'asdfghjkl'. They had something to say to me, and clearly, I should just shut up.
"Sorry," I apologise.
"We know you're bored, and probably lonely, and frankly a bit scared," Phil said, walking closer to me. His tone and changed and the kindness in his voice was evident.
I said nothing, not admitting it, but not exactly denying it, either.
"We thought you might want something to pass the time, and, well, keep you company, I guess," he continued.
"We bought you a camera!" Dan exclaimed, whipping one out, from behind his back. He was good; I hadn't even noticed he was hiding anything.
"What?"
"Yeah, like the fandom wanted to get to know you, and we thought it could be really interesting, vlogging or something from a hospital," Dan explained.
"Only if you want to," interjected Phil.
"Really?!" I stand up and extend my hand, reaching out to touch the camera. It's one fancy ass piece of equipment.
"I- I really don't think I can take this," I protest. "You've been so nice to me, and you're spending money on me, and I can't do anything to repay you, and I feel like I should, and really, I want you to know that I really appreciate it and, and-"
My breath hitches, and I let out a huge sob, collapsing onto my bed.
Dan and Phil rush to my side.
"What's the matter?" Phil asks.
"I went to see the doctor yesterday, and do you know what the chances are of this working?! I've probably got less than a year left, and I've wasted my life away, I've ruined it and I don't want to die," I burst out.
I didn't mean it. Well, I did, but I really didn't want to say it, and now it was too late. But I wasn't in much of a mood to care. I just collapsed onto Dan's shoulder, my tears soaking his shirt, as I shut my eyes.