Title: Lost in the Memory

Author: Some1FoundMe

Summary: Oliver Queen returns to his home in Star City after a five year tour overseas, much to the delight of his friends and family. There's just one small problem. The injury that effectively ended his military career also erased a part of his memory. As he struggles to put together the missing pieces of his past, his connection to his best friend's little sister becomes something he can't avoid. Who is Felicity Merlyn and why can't he seem to stay away from her? Olicity AU, no Arrow, no island.

A/N: Again, a huge thank you to everyone who is taking the time to read this. I really enjoyed writing it and I'm so proud to be sharing it with you. You're kind words and encouragement are, as always, greatly appreciated. And to my beta, westernbeauty, thank you thank you thank you

Chapter Seven

Felicity woke with a start, her hair sticking to her sweat-drenched face, and willed her thundering heart to slow. She eased up, sitting and swinging her legs over the side of the bed. The chill of the hardwood floor beneath her feet helped to ground her, chasing away the tendrils of the nightmare that still clung to her mind. If she closed her eyes again, she knew that the images her subconscious had conjured up would still be there. The thought made her shiver.

It wasn't the first time that she'd dreamed of the funeral. There'd been many variations of the same scene over the last few years but this new one was gruesome and painful. She had walked through the mortuary until she'd found herself alone in a viewing room with her brother's coffin. Only when she'd lifted the lid, it hadn't been Tommy's body lying there, but Oliver's. His remains had been mangled, soaked in blood, so badly destroyed that they'd been unrecognizable. If it hadn't been for his severed head and lifeless eyes staring up at her, she never would've known that the body had been his.

With a jolt, Felicity's stomach roiled and she bolted for her bathroom, barely making it before her dinner from the night before reappeared.

When she was certain that her stomach had settled, she closed her eyes and leaned into the wall of the bathtub.

It was no surprise that she'd dreamt of him, of losing him, of him taking Tommy's place in death. It was what he'd wished for the last time she'd seen him. It had been a week. Seven days had passed since she'd told Oliver about their life together and he hadn't been back. He'd packed some of his things, she'd assumed while she was having an emotional breakdown in Tommy's old room, and then he'd gone and he hadn't returned. She could admit that it hurt, the fact that Oliver hadn't come to talk to her again, but she wasn't stunned by his absence either. She'd taken her frustration out on him, she'd yelled at him, berated him, and he hadn't deserved any of it.

She sighed and scraped her fingers through her tangled hair.

What shocked Felicity more than anything was the lack of communication from Oliver's mother. Moira hadn't exactly been supportive when Felicity had told Oliver about her mother and Laurel, she could only imagine how she responded when she'd learned that Oliver knew that Felicity was his wife. That she'd been the one to tell him. But she hadn't seen or heard from her mother-in-law since she'd revealed everything to Oliver. And she knew him well enough to know that he hadn't hidden his newfound knowledge from his parents. She suspected that there'd been a long and heated argument surrounding the fact that they'd failed to tell him that Felicity was the woman he was married to.

She pushed wearily to her feet and turned on the shower, stripping quickly and stepping under the too-hot spray. The scalding water washed away the residue of her nightmare and eased her aching muscles. As much as she wanted to, she didn't have time to analyze what Oliver's absence meant. She had her job and Thea to worry about. She wouldn't allow herself to wallow, she wouldn't feel sorry for herself. She would go on with her life and let Oliver come to her when he was ready to talk.

Forty minutes later, showered and dressed and prepared to face the day, Felicity went to Thea's room and woke her niece. She grumbled, never having been a morning person, and whined about getting out of bed. It took the promise of French toast to get her moving but once she was up and in the bathroom, Felicity made her way to the kitchen.

She threw Thea's breakfast together quickly, setting a plate on the kitchen table just as she appeared in the doorway.

"You ready for your spelling test today?" she asked.

Thea shrugged, "I guess."

Felicity smiled at her, "We practiced for two days. You know those words, babe. You'll be fine."

Thea shrugged again and ate more of her breakfast. Felicity didn't push her. Mornings around their house were pretty much the same. Thea hated being up early – Felicity didn't like it much herself – and getting her to speak more than a few words before 9 a.m. wasn't an easy task. That particular morning was just par for the course.

While Thea was upstairs brushing her teeth, Felicity cleaned the kitchen and pulled on her coat.

"Come on, kiddo, we're going to be late."

Thea bound down the stairs a few moments later and Felicity helped her into her coat.

"Is there anything you want me to get from the store for your lunches?" she asked, locking the door behind them and heading for the truck.

"Umm… cheese sticks. And no more ham. Can I have turkey this week instead?"

Felicity shook her head, laughing.

"Of course. Sick of ham already, huh?"

Thea shrugged. She'd requested ham for the last three weeks in a row. She loved ham. So the request for something new was a little out of the blue.

"Hey, what's up with you this morning?" Felicity asked, backing out onto the road and turning up the heat.

Thea shrugged again, "Nothing, Aunt Felicity."

Glancing at her in the rear view mirror, she found the little girl staring out of the window absently. She'd been quieter than usual the last couple of days and Felicity wondered what was bothering her. She had a feeling she already knew.

"What's wrong, honey?"

This time Thea sighed, "When can I see Uncle Oliver again? It's been a whole week. Longer than a week. Why doesn't he want to see me?"

It was Felicity's turn to sigh. She turned left onto Howard Drive and pulled into the queue of traffic for Thea's elementary school.

"It isn't you that Uncle Oliver doesn't want to see, baby. I – I think he just needed a little time to think about some stuff," she explained.

"He doesn't want to see you? Did he remember you? Does he know you're his wife?" Thea asked.

Felicity nodded, "He knows. But he didn't remember me. I told him. And I don't know if I should have. But you have to know that Uncle Oliver loves you, Thea. He would never do anything to hurt you. Maybe… how about I call him today and ask him to have dinner with us this week? Would that be okay with you?"

Thea looked skeptical.

"But he doesn't want to see you."

Felicity shrugged, "Maybe he's had enough time to think. It can't hurt to ask, right?"

She smiled, her whole demeanor changing, and nodded enthusiastically.

"Okay! Can we have pizza when Uncle Oliver comes over? It's his favorite."

Felicity grinned, "I know, kiddo, I remember. We'll see though, okay?"

The pulled up in front of the school and Lyla Diggle, John's wife and Thea's principal, opened her door.

"Good morning, Miss Thea!"

Thea hopped out, waving at Felicity as she called goodbye, spotting a group of her friends and running to meet them.

Lyla shook her head, "How's it going, Felicity?"

She nodded, "It's going. You know how it is with that one, life very rarely slows down for us."

Lyla laughed.

"I know exactly what you mean. Stop by and have lunch on Thursday?" she asked.

"Sounds good. I'll call you."

She said goodbye to Lyla and pulled back out into the line of traffic. Star City was a small town and Felicity recognized most of the other parents dropping off their children, waving at the few who waved at her from the warmth of their vehicles. It only took a few moments to travel the five miles to Verdant and she parked on the street out front, hurrying through the cold January morning and into the restaurant.

Sara was in the kitchen prepping for the lunch service when Felicity pushed through the door.

"Hey."

"Hey, what are you doing here? I thought Iris and Helena were working the lunch shift today."

Felicity ducked into her office and grabbed the schedule planner she'd left on her desk. She waved it at Sara as she crossed to the coffee pot.

"They are. I'm off today. But I forgot this and I haven't finished the schedule for next month."

She poured herself a cup of the extra-strong brew Sara was known for and sighed as she took her first sip. She leaned against the counter and watched her friend push another potato through the slicer.

"Nyssa told me about Oliver," Sara said, eyeing Felicity over her shoulder.

Felicity sighed, "I don't… God, I don't know how to do this, Sara. I take it she told you everything? About his amnesia? How he doesn't – how he doesn't remember me?"

The other woman nodded.

"How is she taking all of it?" Felicity asked, "I mean, I know he doesn't remember her either. It has to be hard for her. She and Oliver were so close growing up. They were what, four I think, when Claudia adopted her? They grew up together. They were more like brother and sister than cousins. These two little kids surrounded by adults. And for him to come home after just a few years and have no recollection of who she is or what she means to him, I –"

"Am in exactly the same boat. I'm sure she feels about the same way that you do. She's devastated. But she's doing what she can to get by. And she's been spending a lot of time with him. Talking to him, telling him about her life… our life. It's helping. Her more than him, I think, but she seems to feel good about what little progress they've made."

Felicity nodded and stared at her shoes. She really needed to clean her boots.

"'Lis."

She blinked up at Sara, tears burning her eyes again, and shook her head.

"I haven't seen him in a week, Sara."

Her friend moved away from her prep station and leaned against the table beside her.

"I don't know what I would do if something like this happened to me," Sara told her, "If Nyssa suddenly couldn't remember me, if she didn't … if she didn't recognize me or remember that she loves me. It has to be hell."

She laughed sadly, "Understatement of the year, right there."

"I heard you told him. That you're his wife. That the two of you are married."

Felicity shrugged, "He asked. And I wasn't going to lie to him. Oliver and I don't lie to each other. He already knew that he was married, the Army psychologist that treated him after the accident told him that much, but no one would tell him who I was. Even his parents. Did Nyssa tell you that he'd asked? He asked Robert and Moira about his wife but they wouldn't tell him about me."

"Oh trust me, I heard all about it. Nyssa was furious. She came home that first night and went on and on about it. She hasn't really spoken to Moira since. She sees Oliver every couple of days but she avoids Moira like the plague."

Nyssa had never been one to hide her feelings. If she was angry or sad or frustrated, she let you know. Felicity had no doubt that she'd let Oliver's mother know exactly how she felt about keeping secrets.

"He couldn't remember Laurel, either. I – I had to tell him about her. About my mom and the accident. Jesus, Sara, this is all…"

Sara took her hand and squeezed, "You're not alone, 'Lis. We're all here for you, you know that."

Felicity nodded, her free hand slipping beneath her glasses to wipe at a stray tear.

"I think I might've scared him off," she mumbled, "I – After I told him that we were married, we went back to the house. He wanted to see it. So I took him there and I think… it was too much. I kind of lost it and got mad at him and I was crying and, god, I acted like a crazy person. He hasn't been back since."

Sara let out a huff, "You haven't seen him because he isn't here. He's in Coast City with his parents. There's some bigshot neurologist there that Robert and Moira wanted him to see. They've been gone for a few days. I highly doubt he's avoiding you, 'Lis."

The relief that she felt nearly took her legs out from under her. She'd worried herself into exhaustion, even though she refused to admit it, thinking that Oliver wanted nothing to do with her. At least now she knew there was a reason she hadn't seen him, why he hadn't been around.

Sara misread the way Felicity's body trembled where their shoulders were pressed together.

"Don't worry. It'll come back to him. Oliver Queen has been head over heels in love with you for as long as I can remember. There's nothing on Earth that could change that. And even if he doesn't exactly remember you, don't think for a second that he won't fall in love with you all over again," Sara assured her, "Oliver will come back to you, 'Lis, and you'll have this amazing love story to tell your kids someday."

Felicity laughed, shaking her head, and straightened. She took another long pull of her coffee.

"How's Thea doing with everything?" Sara asked, going back to her station to continue prepping the French fries.

Grateful for the change of subject, Felicity shrugged.

"As well as can be expected, I guess."

"She knows what's going on?"

She nodded, "To some extent. I explained it to her in the best way that I could but, really, how much detail am I supposed to give an eleven year old?"

"True. But Oliver remembers her, right? He knew who she was when he saw her again?"

Felicity shrugged, "Yes and no. He told me that he thinks a lot of what he remembers actually came from Tommy. He remembers the stories that Tommy told him about Thea, he doesn't actually remember her or being around her. At least, he doesn't think he does. Of course, Thea doesn't get any of that. She's just thrilled because, in her mind, he remembers her. She hasn't been thrown off by it too much."

"She's lucky."

She snorted ruefully, "Tell me about it."

Felicity stood out of Sara's way and watched her work. They'd been friends for a long time. They'd started school together and even though Felicity had graduated early, they'd remained friends. When her parents had moved away after Laurel's death, Sara had elected to stay in Star City. When she had married Nyssa the previous summer, Felicity had been her matron of honor.

"It's been forever since we've all hung out, you and Nyssa and me, and I'm sorry. It's just… sometimes it feels like my whole life revolves around this bar and Thea and everything else just kind of falls to the wayside. And, you know, with the holidays last month and things with my dad, I haven't really had time for a lot."

Sara stopped what she was doing and turned to Felicity, her hands on her hips and a frown on her face.

"Hey, I totally get it. Don't beat yourself up, Felicity. I haven't said anything for a reason. I see you pretty much every day. I know what you're life is like. And Nyssa understands. I'm sure now that Oliver's back, with everything that's going on with him, you're probably in need of a break."

She struggled to fight the emotion that Sara's words evoked. Felicity had always been incredibly thankful for her friends and to know that they understood, that no one needed an explanation, only made her love them more. She resisted the urge to hug Sara.

"God, yes."

Sara laughed, "See if Moira will watch Thea sometime this weekend. I think we're both off on Saturday. Let's go out. See a movie. Go to dinner. Whatever you want."

"Ha, yeah, not sure how well that will go over. Lord knows she's not going to be happy when she sees me again."

Sara grinned, "Just hang in there, 'Lis. Everything will get better. Moira will get over it and Oliver will come back to you. He promised, remember?"

Felicity bit her lip and shook her head, feeling heat rush to her cheeks.

"Yeah, Sara, I remember."

Dear Felicity,

It seems weird to even write that. That's not me, not how I talk, how we talk to each other. 'Hey babe' would've been much more appropriate, right? But whatever, it doesn't matter.

Hi sweetheart, how are you? I miss you. God, Felicity, I miss you more than you will ever know. I wish that I could tell you where we are and what we're doing but we both know that I can't do that. I can tell you that Tommy and I are safe. The food is shit (I could do way better) and the accommodations aren't exactly five-star but we're both doing okay.

I know I've already said it once, but I miss you so much. I miss those big blue eyes and how just one look from you tells me everything that I could ever need to know. I miss your body, the way your hips move when you walk, those sweet dimples at the small of your back, the rise and fall of your chest… Shit, I miss you. Dreams of you are all that keep me going out here most days.

According to your brother and Harper and Palmer, I'm a fucking sap. I've been told that I never stop talking about you. Doesn't matter though. They're just jealous. Jealous that I've got such a gorgeous wife (not Tommy because that would be fucking weird, even for him) and that I love you so damn much. I love you and five months is too damn long to be away from you. I don't care what it takes, when I came home we're going to find somewhere else for Tommy and Thea to stay for a few days. Doesn't matter what bullshit excuse I have to give Tommy, he's going to take his kid and give me some time alone with you even if I have to shell out an all-expenses paid trip to Disney or something. I guess I could just tell him the truth. That I want him out of my house so I can screw my wife for a few days straight. He probably wouldn't appreciate that very much given that my wife is his baby sister. I'm sure he'd try to kick my ass for that one.

How are things with your dad and the bar? You'll tell me if he's being a total jackass, right? I know I'm on the other side of the world, but I'll find a way to make his life a living hell if he hurts you.

I know that it's been hard. You gave up so much to stay and take on Verdant when you really didn't have to. No one would blame you if you sold it. If you went back to doing what you love rather than hanging onto that place. Tommy and I have talked about this. We'll both support you no matter what. You're brilliant. There's so much more out there for you than that small town and that damn bar. Whenever you're ready to move on, you let me know.

I'm praying that my parents aren't driving you crazy. I know my mom can be a bit much and that she comes across as a controlling bitch but you've always had steel in your spine. Stand up to her. She loves you and she does respect you, she just doesn't always know how to show it. And if she does piss you off, just remind her that whatever she says will get back to me and that should keep her in line for a while.

How's the house look? Were you and Thea able to get any painting done? I know Tommy and I left you with a lot to do so don't worry about getting it done before we come home. We'll take care of whatever's left. I hope that you at least have time to get those pictures up. All the ones from the wedding. The few from after. I have one of those pictures on me, you know which one. It's always with me. You're always with me. God, if only you knew the shit I've done with that picture…

Apparently being surrounded by thirty-five sweaty assholes for the last few months has turned me into a rambling idiot without a filter. You probably didn't need to hear that last part about the picture. Sorry.

I wish that I had more time to put into words everything that you mean to me, baby, but there never seems to be enough time. I had to find the most isolated spot in this shithole just to write this because the jackasses that I'm out here with wouldn't give me five fucking minutes of peace. The first chance I get, I'll call.

You asked me for one thing before I left. You asked me to promise you that I would come home. I love you, Felicity Queen, and I promise you that, no matter what happens, I will always come home to you.

Love, Oliver