The clock in the den struck 6:30. The girls had been gone for several minutes and it was time to act. M&M were sitting directly across from each other, but their master plan required greater communications security.

"*chk* This is M., do you copy? Over." Motohama made fake radio transmission noises.

Matsuda followed suit. "*chk* Roger that, M. This is M. copying loud and clear, over."

"Wait, this is as dumb as the first time. Forget this!" Motohama dropped the act and the pretend radio all at once.

"Yeah! The girls are probably strippin' down before they go down, on US!" Matsuda knew there was no time to lose.

The boys had purchased new garments for the occasion – Two pairs of black jumpsuits and matching knit beanies. Step 1 of their grand plan was to sneak a peek at the girls slipping into something more comfortable or at least snag some panties for personal use later. Step 2 was to repeat Step 1 indefinitely.

"You ready?" Motohama had an extra piece of gear.

"Ready as spaghetti, bro!" Matsuda gave him a thumbs up but he also noticed the equipment on his friend's face. "Holy shit, dude. Where'd you score those sweet NVG's?"

"Trade secret, my friend. You see, technology is the modern pervert's greatest ally. With technology we can surpass the limits of mere human senses and cognition." Motohama turned on his night-vision goggles. He looked like the protagonist of a Tom Clancy novel, which would be badass if not for the fact that the lights were already on. "AARGH! MY EYES!"

"We're getting hit by invisible assholes! Eat carpet, yo!" Matsuda dove to the ground on top of a rug.

"I-I can't see! The light hurts so much!" Motohama writhed on the floor.

"The lights? I got you bro!" Matsuda leapt to his feet. "Take this, you bulbous bastards!" He punched every light in sight, even annihilating the small hallway guide lamps.

The monumental racket produced by their shenanigans couldn't go unnoticed. The girls threw on something quick and ran out.

Murayama held a bedsheet across herself, barely covering her most important places. "What the hell?! Stop destroying my house, you morons!"

Katase had managed to slip on a half-open shirt and a pair of panties that weren't pulled up all the way. "Give me those stupid goggles! They better be expensive enough to cover the damages or else!"

"I-I'm saved..." Motohama passed out from the relief.

Matsuda was not as fortunate. "H-HEEELP!" The last thing he saw was a wooden sword being brought down on him.

Tropical birds cawed in the background. A muggy, ancient jungle covered the vast prehistoric sprawl of Caveton. It was a land where early man and not-yet-extinct dinosaurs and mammals roamed the Earth together.

Caveton was the largest of all the prehistoric villages and home of the most advanced technology known at the time. The first iteration of the wheel had come to be. It was somewhat square and didn't really rotate, but it was a start. In these times, the mightiest hunters would receive the finest females with which to fornicate.

However, residing in this most monumental of villages were two not-so-mighty hunters hanging about with no mates to speak of. Mot and Mat were their names, two cave-morons so lazy and dumb that they were underqualified to be the village idiots.

Mot beat a rock with another, larger rock. "Mot hit rock."

Mat watched Mot hit the small rock with the bigger one. "Rock Mot hit."

Mot considered himself to be a lifeform of the highest intelligence. He had hatched a plan, yet again, to gain females that weren't covered in fur. "Mot hit animal with rock, like Mot hit rock with rock."

Mat was amazed by his genius. "Mot smart. Mat want cavebitches too. Mat want rock!"

Mot wouldn't give it up for all of Pangea. "Mot rock!"

Mat persisted. "Mat rock!" He grabbed at it.

After tugging back and forth for a while, the rock finally slipped out of both of their hands and into the face of Bigso Greathunter, the strongest warrior/hunter/handsome dude in the tribe.

Bigso Greathunter was unscathed and didn't mind the pebble. He was only here for one reason. "Beast coming. Bigso kill beast when it comes." He seemed confident in himself.

The said beast was a carnivorous dinosaur about 10 feet tall and 25 feet long. "Beast here!" Bigso was about to strike.

Mot and Mat paused their shenanigans to cower in fear. "Danger beast! Mot scared!"

Mot adjusted his granite glasses and came up with a fancier term. "Beast dangerous. Beast strange. Beast strangerous!"

The er...'strangerous' dinosaur approached Bigso first, about to bite his head off. Bigso was, well, big. He thought himself bigger than he was and that could get him into trouble with this particular dinosaur.

However, Mot and Mat decided they weren't gonna let him show off even more and decided to caveman up.

The dinosaur leaped at Bigso, but M&M jumped in front of Bigso first. "We take care of this!" They stared at the beast with determined eyes, fresh rocks in hand.

Suddenly, an even larger dinosaur emerged from the thickets nearby. It released a deafening, frightening roar that would scare off pretty much anything, Bigso included. "Bigso will tactically retreat!" He ran off without another word.

Mot and Mat stood their ground, too dumb to be able to focus on more than one threat. The larger dinosaur rushed at the smaller one, grabbing it by the neck and dragging it into the jungle to feast upon the sizable meal.

M&M were shocked to the bones. Their only knowledge of the situation amounted to all the big-ass predators being gone and them still being alive.

"D-Dino gone?" Mat looked around, then cheered. "Mat beat dino! Mat strong!

"No!" Mot wanted the credit for the non-kill. "Mot rock pro! Mot kill!"

"Mot wrong!" Mat had his one and only epiphany. "Mat kill Mot! Then Mat hero!"

"Mat weak! Mot strong!" Mot rose to the challenge, but they both fell on their asses after many brutal seconds of fighting.

M&M lay on the ground after their grueling duel, exhausted.

"Mot." Mat called out.

"Mat." Mot called back.

"Friend?" Mat extended a branch of peace.

Mot smiled. "Friend." He grabbed it in a sign of solidarity.

They would later find out that it was a poison oak branch, but for now, all was well again.

Matsuda came to a few hours later. "Ugh... Hey Motocycle, I just had a weird-ass dream." He looked around and saw that his friend was still knocked out. "Get up, yo! Snoozeville's got a population of one passed out motherfucker and that's you."

Motohama groaned some barely intelligible words. "Interior. Crocodile. Alligator."

Matsuda saw that his compatriot was in no condition to flee captivity. He picked him up by the torso and prepared to make an epic rescue. "Time to blow this dildo stand!" His face scrunched up in disgust when he realized what he said.

Motohama stirred to life. "Ha...haha...hahaha! Leave the cool lines to me, dumbass."

"Hamdog! You're alive!" Matsuda dropped him like a sack of potatoes.

Motohama fell on his tailbone. "Ow! My coccyx!"

"Oh shit, did you fall on your dingle donger? My bad, dude." Matsuda showed his lack of understanding in the study of anatomy and also everything else.

"Nevermind that, where the hell are we?" Motohama got his bearings.

"Uh... some sorta room? There's like, a floor and some walls and shit." Matsuda made his clever deduction.

"I know that, doofus. Now I remember." Motohama thought back to a little while ago. "Operation Sneak Peek failed spectacularly. We have no doubt been captured by the enemy/sexy babes. If I recall correctly, this is the point where they come in half-naked and torture us into talking by use of whips and lapdances."

"Know what that sounds like, homeslice?" Matsuda wore a big, silly grin. "We're gonna score, bro!"

Motohama pushed up his glasses. "Yes, my friend, at long last. This is indeed the most likely and obvious outcome of our current situation!"

The room suddenly got darker. The door slid open slightly, slowly and menacingly. An ominous aura emanated from the small crack and furious, red eyes gleamed from the abyss.

M&M screamed and hugged each other in fear.

"This is the end, Modawg!" Matsuda teared up.

"We die unfulfilled after all..." Motohama's spirit was crushed.

The dark presence entered the room and stood before them.

"God, you two look so pathetic." Katase emerged from the shadows.

"Will you please not stain the tatami mats with your filthy fluids?" Murayama was the other figure beside her.

"The girls!" M&M exclaimed in unison. Their relief was palpable as they walked casually to the back wall and reclined against it.

"Um, what the hell are you doing?" Katase was as confused as her friend.

"Getting set up for the 'torture'!" Motohama grinned.

"Come on ladies, whip me up and take my cream!" Matsuda was eager to get started.

"Gladly!" Murayama readied her shinai. The scene that followed had to be censored... for it was pretty damn brutal!

"That should do it for now." Katase dusted off her hands.

"Have you boys finally learned your lesson?" Murayama was talking to a pixelated pile of something in the corner.

Reassembled yet dead inside, M&M slumped soullessly against the wall. The sight was grim and tragic, so much so that the girls finally took genuine pity on them.

"W-well, maybe we went too far this time?" Katase showed some remorse.

"I guess you're right." Murayama echoed her sentiment. "This only happened because..."

"Because," Katase continued. "We've only ever punished them. I think it's time for a reward for once."

"W-Wait, right now? Are you sure?" Murayama was apprehensive, but she agreed. "O-Okay, if you say so."

M&M looked at each other, confused.

All four were now up in the master bedroom, completely naked. Believe it or not, it's their dreams come true after all!

"Do you guys have protection?" The girls asked the big question.

M&M couldn't speak, for they were speechless at this current situation. Instead, they just stared at the hot chicks before them, like a train wreck that you can't look away from. Except that this situation was the opposite of a train wreck!

"We'll assume that's a 'no'. So me and Katase will just take pills later." Murayama giggled.

The boys now had to decide which chick they would deflower. Matsuda chose Katase and Motohama picked Murayama.

Matsuda devoured (not literally) Katase's hot-ass body without any restraints. "Damn, man! I could do this shit allll dayyyy long!" He was ready to blast off like a rocket. He eventually began sucking and playing with Katase's breasts. "Fuck yes! I'm finally feeling funbags! FFF, yo!"

Motohama had to agree with his friend, obviously. "Hells to the yeah! This beats an egg any day!" He pressed his erection against Murayama's nipples like they were buttons. "Ooohohohoho yeah, that feels good!" His glasses fogged up.

The girls thought some of the things M&M did were strange, but they enjoyed themselves nevertheless. "I'd say it's time for the main course." Katase smiled.

M&M nodded excitedly. "YYEESSSS! Time for the D&D, dicks and dessert!" They had promised each other beforehand that they would both experience the same things at the same time, like they were spiritually connected. Let's see if they can pull that off... Not their dicks, of course.

M&M both pressed their members against their respective partner's holy entrance. "Here...we...GO!" They pushed through at once, finally losing their v-cards. "OHH SHIIIIITT!" They both felt the amazing sensation of a woman's pussy for the first time. Their eyes rolled into the back of their heads, but their sheer will to experience it kept them conscious.

The chicks winced in pain as their virginites were taken. However, it wasn't long before they started feeling a surge of pleasure with every thrust.

M&M moved their bodies in perfect sync and harmony with each other. Both of them were equally enjoying the delightful sensations they felt.

Motohama would begin something. "Oh..."

Matsuda finished it. "...S-Shit!"

"Y-You guys, n-not so rough!" Katase and Murayama yelled in unison.

The two dudes continued pounding away in sync without mercy. M&M's cocks felt so hard and hot inside, that it drive both girls crazy. Overall, M&M had the best 45 seconds of their lives, until they exploded inside pussies like erupting volcanoes. "AWWWWWWW SHHITTTTT! Ungh! It... feels ...so damn good!" They both had to laugh off their pleasure, in order to calm themselves down.

M&M said together, "We're finally men."

Warm, natural light flooded the bedroom. Its gentle caress lapped the cheeks of two sleeping beauties. Incidentally, it also lapped the buttcheeks of two snoring beasts.

"Zzzzzz...titties...zzzzz...sexual intercourse...zzzzz." M&M slept peacefully, their lust continuing in their dreams.

The girls awoke first. "Mmmmmm!" Katase stretched. "Hey Muri, are you up yet?"

"Yeah, give me a minute." Murayama stirred and got out of bed, still naked. "Dumb and dumber are still sound asleep." Her tone was playful and without malice.

"...I can't believe we did that." Katase was apprehensive, yet positively excited.

"I never would have thought in a million years that they'd be our firsts." Murayama could barely believe it herself.

"Or at all! Not even if they were the last males on Earth! Like, I would take a dung beetle before them." Katase exaggerated.

They heard soft crying from under the sheets. They lifted them and saw the boys with hurt feelings.

"W-we just wanted to see some nipples." Motohama choked through his tears.

"Why you gotta bust our balls after you drain them dry?" Matsuda lamented.

"Oh, relax you idiots. What, our virginities weren't good enough for you?" Katase wore an angry expression.

"We gave you our firsts! It's going to take a lifetime to pay us back for this." Murayama dropped a big hint.

"Y-You mean...?" The boys were elated at finally having real girlfriends.

"Woohooooo! Now I will only have to peruse porn once per day!" Motohama cheered.

"Now someone else is gonna do the blowing!" Matsuda pulled out a pocket blow-up sex doll. "Katase, actually could you inflate this for-Yowch!"

Murayama hit him with her shinai. "What I mean is that you're going to come to kendo practice when you're supposed to. No more skipping!"

Katase slammed her fist into her palm. "And in order to sculpt you into men worthy of us, we'll be working you harder than ever!"

Looks like Matsuda and Motohama are in for a lot of pain and a lot of pleasure in the foreseeable future. Word eventually did get around and when the school newspaper club asked them for comments on their harsh lives from now on, M&M had provided this headline.

"Doesn't matter, had sex!" They jumped and high-fived each other, fading into a frontpage photo of them connecting at the apex. Steve Winwood's "Higher Love" started playing and the credits rolled.

CREDITS

Writers

BLS91090
DemonHide

Concept

BLS91090
DemonHide

Starring

Matsuda as himself
Motohama as himself
Katase as herself
Murayama as herself
A dog as a dog
and Pissei Hyoudou as the harem-having son of a bitch
well who's laughin' now, asshole? Me. I'm laughing. Hahahahah-Ow!

Excuse me, but what do you think you're doing?

"Oh hey Narrator, just putting in a few minor edits." Motohama was barking up a dangerous tree.

Guys. This is a really important part. Don't ruin this for me.

"Quit being such a stinge-monger! Just tryin' to have a little fun, dawg." Matsuda wasn't helping.

Hey. I got you guys laid. Do you know how hard that was? I'm not fucking omnipotent. This was a freaking cosmic impossibility I had to overcome. Cut me some slack, will you?

"Bitch please, bet you're still a virgin." Matsuda's nose grew bigger in arrogant pride.

"Uh, maybe we shouldn't piss him off." Motohama was correct. They would suffer for their crimes.

Hello, Sharks & Spiders, Inc.? I need an airdrop at the provided location pronto. Thanks, much appreciated.

"W-What?" M&M saw their worst fears rain down at them. "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLPP!"

They were taught an old lesson anew – Never fuck with the Narrator.