PART I

Chapter 6. Of Politics and Personal Desires

Several days after the Queen's announcement of her wedding to Bidam, the Queen sent a personal summons to her nephew Lord Chun Chu. That night she went for a lengthened walk in the gardens to clear her mind before her meeting with the young man. When the Queen finally returned to her chambers she was pleased to find her nephew already waiting for her. Their relationship had been quite strange after her announcement and she was quite surprised when the young royal refrained from voicing his opinion. She had actually expected to be locked in debate with him for days over that matter. The only indication of his disapproval of the match was his unusually cold treatment of her. And that, plus the fact that her young nephew had the quickest and shrewdest mind she had ever seen in Silla, was the reason why she personally asked for his presence. She wanted to make things better between the two of them by revealing a secret that had been weighing down on her. She was glad that the young man immediately agreed to meet with her in spite of his bitterness at her approaching wedding.

The young man rose from his seat when she entered the room and formally bowed before her in greeting. As soon as they were seated, she showed him a copy of Bidam's covenant. Chun Chu slowly read the document, going over it a second and then a third time. Finally, he handed the scroll back to Her Majesty, satisfied that it was a legitimate document, free from any hidden artifice.

"Well, what do you think?" the Queen asked.

"I'm sure it was done in all sincerity. I think he really means to go through with this in due time. However," he paused, and looked at the Queen, trying to gauge her reaction.

"Yes?" the Queen asked evenly, trying hard to conceal the wild thumping of her heart.

"We must remember that he is now a very powerful political figure, with his own sphere of influence. And after the wedding, he would be the second most powerful person in the land, second only to you. Even if he wanted to fulfill his oath, will his followers let him do so? Will they allow him to give up his power?"

"So?" the Queen asked, her heart now beating a painful tattoo inside her chest.

"You must remember, Your Majesty, that personal desires and politics are not good bedfellows," Chun Chu said, his cynical smile belying his age.

The Queen nodded. It was for this reason that she had decided to show the document to Chun Chu. She had come to admire the cunning mind of his young nephew. He can, somehow, look beyond mere appearances and uncover the most concealed subterfuges. His quick wit and, sometimes, brutal frankness had been proven invaluable time and again. And now, he had just validated the doubts that had been troubling her mind ever since Bidam had given her that parchment. Chun Chu had just confirmed that she had done the most logical action she could take to protect the throne. She sighed, resigned to the painful games of fate, and slowly took out a red silk envelope, the envelope that contained a secret so deadly that it could only be entrusted to a member of the royal family. Chun Chu was surprised when she handed it to him; the red envelope was synonymous to a sentence of death.

"Please read it," the Queen instructed a confused Chun Chu. Reluctantly, he took out the parchment and silently read the Queen's order written in her own handwriting. When he finished reading it he could not help but look up at the Queen in shock and utter disbelief.

"What does this mean? Are you serious about this?" he asked.

"I was afraid that I would not be able to do it later, so I'm giving it to you now before I change my mind," the Queen said.

"But, why resort to this?" he asked, incredulous at the Queen's daring in issuing such a dangerous edict.

"Because I must protect the throne at all cost. No one, not Yushin nor Bidam, must ever take control of Silla. You are the only one who must continue our legacy. And so, please take this edict and make sure that you carry it out when the time comes," the Queen said, looking down at her slightly trembling hands.

Chun Chu found it hard to believe that the Queen would have the constitution to issue such an order but he understood her motivation just the same. This edict had proven that she was, first and foremost, a ruler who took her responsibilities seriously - capable of making the hardest decisions for her people, and most importantly, herself.

"In spite everything, I cannot give him up. And so, dear nephew, I seek not your opinion or even your judgment, all I ask from you is your understanding and forgiveness," the Queen said, her eyes brimming with unshed tears.

For the first time, Chun Chu felt pity for this strong and extraordinary woman whom he had come to respect and admire and, sometimes, even fear.

All was quiet within the Palace when a late night visitor of the Queen came knocking at the royal chambers the following night. The Palace guard immediately admitted Bidam to the Queen's quarters and he felt a quickening in his pulse as he lightly knocked on the royal bedchamber's door and announced his presence.

"Your Majesty, it is I," he said.

He quickly slid the door when he heard the Queen acknowledge him. He was not surprised when he found her sitting at her desk still at work, an assortment of scrolls and parchments scattered before her. She did not look up when he entered but continued writing her notes on her pad. She looked much younger with her long hair down, unmade and devoid of all trimmings save for a small pin that held it away from her face. Although she was already dressed in her nightclothes she did not seem ready for bed yet as she kept on scribbling and looking over the documents spread before her. Bidam couldn't help but smile at the tenacity of the woman he so deeply loved.

"I knew you would be doing this," he sighed.

"Doing what?" she answered, still bent over her writing.

"Working," he said, chuckling. This time she looked up and smiled sheepishly at him, like a child caught doing something mischievous.

"This won't do. Come on, Your Majesty, you need to get some rest" he said. He took her hand and led her to the bed. He fluffed up her pillow and turned down the bedcovers. He then gestured for Her Majesty to get into the bed.

"Please, Your Majesty," he said. The Queen smiled and obliged him. He sat beside her and tucked her in.

"Go to sleep. You also need to rest, you know," he said. The Queen sighed and sat back up, impatiently brushing a lock of hair that fell into her eyes.

"Actually, I can't sleep. Oh, by the way, do you mind my talking to you so casually? Would you rather that I use a more formal tone?" the Queen said, her impish grin giving evidence to the woman/child within as if challenging him to rebuke her. Bidam smiled, here was the young Deokman he remembered well, playful yet spirited, entirely unencumbered by the trappings of her high station.

"No, I don't mind at all. But tell me, why can't you sleep?" he asked.

"I don't know. It's just that when I lie down, my heart starts beating faster and I get restless and uneasy. I always feel like I'd forgotten something important or that I had made a mistake or overlooked something, and then the tears would come and my heart would suddenly feel constricted, making it hard to breathe," she said.

"Please lie down," Bidam said and waited for the Queen to settle herself on her pillows. He then pulled up the thick blankets over her and placed his palm on her chest, patting it softly, like a mother lulling her child to sleep.

"Is it still throbbing now?" Bidam asked.

"No," she said, smiling up at him. It amazed her how this man, her soon-to-be husband, could always calm her down with just a simple touch.

"I will stay here until you fall asleep. Please get some rest now." Bidam soothingly said as he looked down on Her Majesty with soft and gentle eyes.

"When I was young, my heart also raced whenever I went to bed,"

"Were you anxious even then?" he asked, encouraging her, wanting to know more about her childhood experiences.

"No. Back then, it was excitement that kept me up. I always wondered what adventures I would have the next day, what kind of people I would meet and what fantastic things the merchants would bring. I really should ask Cartan Ahyeosshi about DolGul…" she said, her eyes slowly closing of their own accord, her mind quietly drifting off to sleep.

Bidam looked down at the Queen's sleeping face and his heart swelled with affection for her.

I will always be here for you, My Queen. From now on, your heart will no longer be troubled. Sleep now, my Deokman, soon I will no longer have to leave your side.

He bent down and kissed her brow softly, not caring whether it was forbidden or not. Thank you for accepting me and for trusting me.

Putting her hand on her chest he got up, leaving the sleeping Queen to her dreams. He still had something important to do – now – before he changed his mind.