Baka & Test: Ask A Baka
Rating: T (very borderline M)
Pairings: Canon/Crack
Genre: Humor, Romance, Parody
Disclaimer: Sadly, ownership is out of the question.
Notes:
Not much to say this time around aside from a heartfelt "thank you" to all of those who have supported this "story" for all this past time. I'll definitely keep on going along as readers want me too. Admittedly, it is the easiest amongst all the fanfics I've written. – More Answers To Come Next Chapter.
Song: Linkin Park – "A Light That Never Comes"
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Partial Test #6
1. (For Ironman) You have a heart? What poor student did you steal it from? (From KingOgnik)
- Ironman: Ha, ha. Good one! I'll have you know that I do have a tender side to even out all of this manliness. Women dig it!
- Teacher's Comments: I find myself lacking a proper response…
2. (For Teacher) Can you please make cooking a required class before everyone dies or is put in a coma from you-know-who's cooking? (From KingOgnik)
- Teacher: Quite frankly it isn't my choice to make which classes make it into the curriculum or not; given our strict policies and how the classes are integrated into our summoning system. However, even excluding you-know-who, cooking is a necessary skill that should be taken into consideration.
- Akihisa: Why stop there. Let's go all the way and make it so that the academy is all about food and cooking. That we, instead of say-our avatar battles, fight using dishes and meals. Complex dishes that make no sense but we are rated by being a chef-MacGyver by creating a roast with just bacon and-
- Teacher's Comments: …We are not implementing "shokugekis" here, that's another academy.
3. (For Himeji) Have you considered working for the military's research and development? I hear they are always looking for the next dangerous weapon of mass destruction and, to be frank, your 'food' fits the bill. (From KingOgnik)
-Himeji: For Heaven's sake, can't you people ask anything else? To answer, yes, why not? Why stop there. I can create a dish so revolting that it would make Ironman look like a chump.
- Ironman: Hey!
- Himeji: I meant the sexy one.
- Ironman: Oh… Hey!
- Teacher's Comments: Food classes do seem like they would be a very dangerous ordeal…
4. (For Akihisa, Shimada, and Himeji) Which is more dangerous and/or painful, Shimada's fighting moves or Himeji's food? (From KingOgnik)
- Akihisa: Himeji's food.
- Shimada: Mizuki's food.
- Himeji: My food.
- Teacher's Comments: Her food.
5. (For Teacher) Why haven't you joined the FFF yet? You could be the leader! (From KingOgnik)
- Teacher: Well, hardy har har! Look who's trying to be funny. Leave the jokes to us, okay?
- FFF (#1): He does have a point, you know. We would invite you if you didn't seem like such a pedo all the time.
- Teacher: Pedo! Why I'd never! And I am not like you guys.
- FFF (#1): Sure.
- FFF (#2): Isn't "pedo" a "fancy fart" in Spanish?
- FFF (#1): Still fits him.
- Teacher's Comment: Someday, I'll have you all expelled…
6. (For FFF) Isn't it against your rules for #1 and #8 to be 'involved'? (From KingOgnik)
- FFF (#1): …
- FFF (#8): Oh, the test is making me blush.
- FFF (#1): I am going to kill Akihisa. Slowly. Smiling.
- Teacher's Comments: Their rules do state "no girlfriends" and "no homo", but sometimes love can overcome.
7. (For Aiko) What would you give me for the address to Kouta's home, as well as the key and a floor plan? Also, what would you do if you had said items? (From KingOgnik)
- Aiko: Well, my lord, that would depend on what you'd want from little-old-me. I'm… persuasive. But, to answer your other question, I'd set up quite a few surprises for my Voyeur to slowly discover. I'd "run the asylum" if you will…
- Teacher's Comments: I've all but given up on you to tone yourself down…
- Aiko: What? There were hardly any double entendre there at all.
- Teacher's Comments: Right...
8. (For Shimada) What would you do if you were being bullied, and who would you tell? (From Rglitter)
- Shimada: Bullied? My normal reaction would be to use fist first, ask later, but there are different types of bullies and different types of bullying so violence may not be the best answer. Not always, at least. I'd try to talk to someone, an authority in the school or my friends in class. I'd guess I'd tell Aki, since he, well, is usually pretty good at dealing with bullies… Surprisingly good actually.
- Teacher's Comments: Bullying of any type is not allowed here in the establishment, no is that type of behavior considered appropriate elsewhere. Also, what can Akihisa even do? Make them laugh to death?
9. (For Shimada) How do you feel about stripping (pole dancing)?
- Shimada: …
- Teacher's Comments: …
- Kouta: …
- Shimada: Get. Out. Of. My. Test.
- Kouta: I'm gone.
- Shimada: Well then… Stripping. The test is asking me about stripping. Teacher, are you in any way indicating a possible future career for me?
- Teacher's Comments: …I swear I'm not allowed to go over these questions before I hand the tests over… Just pretend this one wasn't here. Moving along…
10. (For Akihisa) If your game is that precious to you, you would marry Himeji and Shimada or I will just nuke them. The 2nd option would be to be an eternal servant of mine. Second question, $100 for a 2 games, how much money do you need for 10 games? No point asking you any other questions since you might just make another question of your own. (From Angel of Light and Hope)
- Akihisa: More than one question, oh no, my nemesis returns. Okay, keep calm. Keep calm. Also, stop writing on the test everything that you are thinking, thoughts are private, so I shouldn't write-I'm still writing my thoughts, it's like I'm possessed. Oh no, gotta stop, gotta take my "super-secret-stop-all-my-thoughts-food-pills" (trademark of Mizuki Himeji (1)) so I can-My game is very precious to me, and I'd be glad to marry Himeji and Minami. They make a sexy couple. I'm not a priest, but we can work something out. Okay, question number 2. $100 U.S. Currency for two (2) video games, most likely older or used PS4 games since the newer ones are at $59.99, and these ones are $50.00 each. For ten (10) games you'd need $500 plus which ever state tax your state currently has. Just multiply the 500 times the tax like where XX is the value of the tax percent.
- Teacher's Comments: I feel disturbed. I was going to ask if you were okay when you ate something out of a paper bag and slammed your head against the desk and stayed that way for over a minute, but if that's your way of solving math problems, be my guest.
11. (For Himeji) Want to take cooking lesson with me? Hopefully you don't poison me in the process. (From Angel of Light and Hope)
- Himeji: I appreciate the thought, but I think I already have someone in mind to help me cook a little bit better. Or at least in a nonfatal matter. I think it'd be too much a risk to put you through that, but I appreciate the offer.
- Teacher's Comments: And who may this person be?
- Himeji: Secret! I don't have to tell you, you're not a reviewer.
12. (For Shimada) Could you teach me how to speak in German? (From Angel of Light and Hope)
- Shimada: Sure, can't be harder than learning Japanese. You just need to practice, best advice I can give is read a lot of German with an English-German dictionary handy. Also, watch a few German flicks with subtitles, that always helps.
- Teacher's Comments: It's like they say: "Eine sprache ist nie genug".
- Shimada: Did you use a translator? Actually, it's: "Eine Sprache ist niemals genug", the "S" is always capital. It means "One language is never enough".
- Teacher's Comments: …The student becomes the teacher. Good work.
13. (For Shouko) I heard that Yuuji has a collection of photos of you from K to M, what is your reaction? Give full details. Whatever Yuuji says about it, he is just being denial. (From Angel of Light and Hope)
- Shouko: …I would blush; since he must have gotten them when I wasn't looking otherwise I'd have posed. I would hope those photographs show my good side, but I really wouldn't mind. But why the need of photographs when I can give him a live preview?
- Teacher's Comments: No Shouko, no! Don't go into the side of Aiko! Don't lose what you've so preciously secured all this time.
- Aiko: …Dude, chill.
14. (For Yuuji) If you were trapped in a well with Shouko and help would come the next day. What would you to pass the time? Option #1: "entertain" Shouko? Option #2: torture her with pleasure? Answer it with details. (From Angel of Light and Hope)
- Yuuji: Ah what the heck. I'll torture her with pleasure. I'll-
- Shouko: …Yuuji.
- Yuuji: Get back to your own test. Tough luck on you though, she's ticklish and tickling her counts as both a torture and a pleasure, so I could do that all day until helped arrived.
- Shouko: …Tickle me where?
- Yuuji: Don't go turning it around.
- Teacher's Comments: We've lost her.
15. (For Yuuji) Would you stop me if I tell Shouko that you actually already have the wedding certificate with your signature on? If you would, I want you to choose between marrying Shouko or be a member of FFF (they will eventually torture u first). I don't take no as an answer. (From Angel of Light and Hope)
- Yuuji: I'd tell you to use the paper and wipe it up your asymmetrical face and then I'd be on my way. As for choosing, sure, if the world was ending I'd choose Shouko. But not because it would be my first choice. My first choice would be FFF #1 but he and #8 are an item and I just don't have the heart to break that up.
- FFF (#8): Oh, the Yuuji is making me blush.
- FFF (#1): We are NOT an item. Eww, gross. Mental picture, AHHH!
- Teacher's Comments: Eww, now I got the mental picture…
16. (For Aiko) It has been awhile, have you considered BDSD toward Kouta? If i offer you two tickets to Las Vegas and a marriage certificate of you and Kouta, would you take it? If no, any other ideas. What is your desirable wish? (From Angel of Light and Hope)
- Teacher's Comments: I'm sorry to say that Ms. Aiko was not feeling well today and had to go home, so sadly this question must remain unanswered un-
- Aiko: Ignore him, I just went to the bathroom and there he was answering my test… Which is weird to see a teacher doing that. Really… Anyway, questions! Bondage? Sure! Not anything a la Fifty Shades since the guy does everything and the girls a welcome mat, but I wouldn't mind-
Teacher's Comments: Please, for the love of what's left of the T+++ rating, don't go into details.
Aiko: Fine, I'll censor it. I'd **** him with a *****-** ***** ********** while I ***** ****** until he **** which is when I'll proceed to ******** ** to ***** one another. That okay?
Teacher's Comments: I hope that's a joke and you can't actually make something out of that.
Aiko: Maybe~? As for the other questions, well, I haven't really thought about marriage, at least not until I graduate. Last Vegas sound nice, but I'm not that big on gambling. The sights are probably pretty though. And my desired wish? Hmm, Casual CFNM Fridays at the academy!
Teacher's Comments: Even from me?
Aiko: …Ignore my comment!
17. (For Kouta) Any tips how to be stealthy? Do you have any insurance, since you keep losing blood because Aiko. Can we be friends? I know places where you can get more for your camera and might consider covering you from Aiko so you don't lose more blood. (From Angel of Light and Hope)
- Kouta: Appreciated. To be stealthy, just be very quiet and unappealing. Are you ugly; that helps a lot. People won't notice you. Also, stick to the roof. Hardly anybody looks up nowadays with so many smart phones and texts. I don't have insurance, I have to surpass that girl and stop being a victim to her. And no… I don't need your cover.
- Teacher's Comments: Sounds like someone doesn't want anybody between Aiko and himself huh?
- Kouta: Your jokes are predictable.
18. (For Yuuko) Go out with me? Are you a poetic romance kind of girl? What would it take for you to go out with me? (From Angel of Light and Hope)
- Yuuko: Seriously? Well, do you have any close male friends? If you'd act out a scene from Love Stage! Then we might talk…
- Teacher's Comments: …You are one difficult lady, lady.
19. (For Hideyoshi) Have you consider singing as a career? If I pay you 200 million yen to cover everything just for me to date your sister, would you? (From Angel of Light and Hope)
- Hideyoshi: I am decent at it, but not enough to make a career out of it. Turning passions into money works, but it would be acting which I find myself more attracted to. And I am not selling Yuuko. Just talk to her, she will come around, I guess? No one has been successful though.
- Teacher's Comments: And if her requests are to be believed, no one ever will.
20. (For FFF) If you guys were stranded on a desert island, and there's only one raft with the supplies to last for a week in the sea but could only carry one person. Who would you choose to escape the island? Who's the smartest among the bunch of you? (From Angel of Light and Hope)
- FFF (#1): Two choices really, either myself as we try to preserve our most valuable member, or #8, so I don't have to die next to him.
- FFF (#2): We really should do something about #1 and #8 flirting back and forth on these tests.
- FFF (#3): Yeah, its making us look a little queer.
- FFF (#4): Not that there's anything wrong with that.
- Akihisa: Seinfeld ref!… Wait, didn't I already say this one?
- FFF (#5): Did you?
- FFF (#6): Maybe we're caught in a time paradox, where history keeps on repeating and we'll be stuck here forever and ever.
- FFF (#7): Don't be absurd, you make it sound like we'll never graduate. I mean, it's not like we've been taking these tests… Wait, how long have we been taking these things?
- FFF (#6): …
- FFF (#5): …
- Akihisa: …
- FFF (#4): …
- FFF (#3): …
- FFF (#2): …Ohmegosh!
- FFF (#1): You guys are abs-
- FFF (#8): Hi!
- FFF (#1): Hole! Just forget it; I'd swim away from the island. And our smartest guy? Take a guess. Who do you think?
- Teacher's Comments: Akihisa. Stop sitting on #4 lap. It's… disturbing.
21. (For Yuuko) Tell me, do you watch any non-yaoi anime? (From Mysterious)
- Yuuko: I do. Currently I'm watching SAO with Hideyoshi, since we're both fans of nicely done fight scenes. I also recently watched Shingeki no Kyojin or Attack on Titan (as the West call it) because… well, who hasn't? Eren is like my biggest crush ever and Mikasa. Mikasa. I've got the worst girl-crush on her right now. Other shows I've watched have been Sailor Moon, Fate/Stay Night and a little of it's spinoff about Illya being a magical girl, but that one has too much yuri for me, so… Double standards, but to each her own.
- Teacher's Comments: Both Season Two of Titan and it's Levi spinoff already have dates! …Not that I watch those shows…
22. (For Akihisa) First of all I don't think you are that much of an idiot but you are a bit dense. So anyway I was wondering if you ever thought of studying and taking another placement test. You could possibly get into class E at least if you studied hard enough. And do you love Minami? You two are my favorite pairing (aside from Shouko and Yuuji) and I want to know how you feel about her. (From Kairi-kun)
- Akihisa: Thank you, I think. I have not! I like Class F, and I actually have no idea who's even in Class E. Minami? Well, yeah. I do. That tomboy macho wrestling tsundere-who-hides-the-dere-very-well crazy arsonist is hard not to love. And I'm not good with a brush, but props to you on whatever that means.
- Teacher's Comments: He wrote pairing, not painting. And your description is… romantic?
23. (For Yuuko) If your brother, Hideyoshi, came out of the closet and fell for Akihisa, what's your reaction? (From sonickiller41)
Shouko: …Kodak Picture Moment.
Yuuko: Get back to your seat Shouko, go bother your boyfriend. And I wouldn't really do much. Congratulation? I mean, if you're "out" shouldn't you go find a man, not Akihisa. Just saying.
Teacher's Comments: I thought you shipped Aki/Hide…
24. (For Hideyoshi) If you bother by the everybody treat you like a girl, then why don't you just change your hairstyle like cut your hair short? (From sonickiller41)
- Hideyoshi: I have considered it, but it is just that Yuuko told me that I should not have to change who I am to meet the expectations of others. It sounded right to me, so I just did not think much of it afterwards.
- Teacher's Comments: Hard and Cold Yuuko is a good sister after all.
25. (For Everyone (Students)) Which class would you think who would win in a Summoner Test Battle and why? (From Mastermind Enoshima Alice)
- Akihisa: Class A! Because they always do!
- Yuuji: Way to have faith on us, you're a real inspiration.
- Akihisa: REALLY!?
- Yuuji: Sarcasm genius. And I really believe we, Class F, would win. Why? Because of my tactical mind, Mizuki's genius, Hideyoshi's acting chops, Minami's math skills, Kouta's… erm, pervy-ninjaing, Akihisa's special avatar, and the FFF's redshirtness.
- Himeji: I agree with Yuuji. Class F!
- Shimada: Me too. We can kick some serious ass if we set out mind to it.
- Hideyoshi: True. Class F. By what Yuuji described.
- Kouta: Whichever class fights in the nude wins.
- Aiko: Not everyone faints upon nudity. Just little boys who haven't seen much…
- Kouta: Like you have?
- Aiko: Surprise me.
- Shouko: …Ignoring that, Class F. If its Yuuji, he's unstoppable.
- Yuuko: Riiiiight. Class A, because A as in, "highest grades" much?
- Kubo: Class A all the way. Better brains and resources, not to mention grades.
- Shimizu: I'd like to say Class D, buuuuut I'd say Class F. Because of Minami!
- Nemoto: Fools. Were I given the opportunity, Class B would run circles around all of you. Why? Because of me!
- Yuka: Cheating maybe. I'd like to say class C, but we seriously need work. Maybe if we could prepare better, if not, Class A obviously.
- Shunpei: Do we count?
- Yusaku: …Don't think so…
- Teacher's Comments: You don't.
- FFF (#1): I-
- Teacher's Comments: Neither do you. Any of you.
26. (For Everyone (Students)) If you could go on a holiday with 5 people from the academy, who would they be? (From Echopapa1)
- Akihisa: Yuuji, Minami, Himeji and Kouta… with Hideyoshi of course!
- Yuuji: I'd guess my thoughts would be the same-
- Shouko: …Which five?
- Yuuji: Erm, you, and Minami and Himeji and Hideyoshi and Yuuko… Wait, why Yuuko.
- Shouko: …Descent choice.
- Akihisa: Wait? No me. Why no me!
- Shimada: …Erm, well, Aki. Does it have to be five?
- Himeji: Yoshii, or maybe…
- Hideyoshi: Just the gang I would guess. Akihisa, Yuuji, Shimada, Mizuki and Kouta. Yuuko would want to go with Class A.
- Kouta: Himeji, Shimada, Shouko, Yuka, Hatsune Miku.
- Aiko: …Really?
- Shouko: …Yuuji. Yuuji. Yuuji. Yuuji. Yuuji.
- Yuuko: Guess a few girls from the class. Maybe invite Kubo if he would stop with that whole lesbian-pedo-commando view he has of me!
- Kubo: Akihisa, Yuuji, Kouta, Yusaku, Shunpei.
- Shimizu: Shi-Ma-Da-Mi-Na-Mi, times 5!
- Nemoto: Well, I'd guess I'd of course go with Yuka, right dear?
- Yuka: Ah… No. I'd go with anyone. Free trip.
- Shunpei: Girls man, high school girls.
- Yusaku: Cheerleaders!
- Shunpei: Yusaku's sister!
- Yusaku: Shunpei's corpse!
- FFF (#2): Speaking on behalf of our leader, I'd choose #'s 3-7 in order to enjoy ourselves and leave #1 and #8 some a-lo-ne time.
- FFF (#1): …I hate you all.
- FFF (#8): Oh, the #2 is making me blush.
- FFF (#1): That sounds gross.
- Teacher's Comments: Concurred.
27. (For Yuuji) If you got a year pass from Shouko saying that she couldn't hurt you for that year, would you still hang around her? (From Allies Axis Girl)
- Yuuji: Sure, all the better. Restraining orders work too.
- Teacher's Comments: Then you couldn't be around her.
28. (For Hideyoshi) If you and your sister could swap places permanently would you? (From Allies Axis Girl)
- Hideyoshi: Don't think I would. I don't mind the skirt, and I honestly get less look from guys than when I dress normally, but it would still be weird.
- Yuuko: Seriously, less looks?
- Hideyoshi: You are very lucky.
- Yuuko: Less… Looks…?
- Teacher's Comments: With your requirements, it's not a surprise.
29. (For Akihisa) Who am I? (From h2p account)
- Akihisa: Better question would be: "Who do you want to be?"
- Teacher's Comments: Your so stupid to notice the answer is right next to the question… Seriously?
30. (For Himeji) When are you ever going to give that idiot Akihisa the love letter? (From Crimson Heart26)
- Himeji: …Well, I'd guess I should. It'sjust that this all has gotten way too complicated. Yoshi's been asked here and all and he hasn't really answered so it's quite hard to know what to do… I… I can't say.
- Teacher's Comments: Just take it easy kiddo. The right time will come.
31. (For Akihisa) Did you know that Himeji and Shimada like you? Why are you such an idiot sometimes! How do you feel about them? (From Crimson Heart26)
- Akihisa: I feel I have been asked this before. Hmm… Of course they like me, who doesn't; well outside Ironman, the gay couple from the FFF, the older dude, the older dude hitting on the older dude's sister, Hideyoshi's gay sister, the old lady that sells me ramen, Kenji Inoue, my fifth grade teacher, my sixth grade teacher, my imaginary friend… So… Yeah. Oh, and I'm an idiot because a dumb protagonist works better for sitcom. And I like them both, really. But it's hard to explain. Himeji is my best friend in the world. I've known her since I was little, I can't imagine being in school without her. Shimada, well, she's hard to explain. All logic in me should scream at me to keep her at bay, but I can't really keep my distance. She's… well… Minami Shimada, how else can I describe her?
- Teacher's Comments: Just think it through, you can do it.
32. (For Kouta) Would you like to take some picture of me and my friends changing are clothes? We don't mind. (From Crimson Heart26)
Kouta: Camera ready! Just-
Aiko: Ms. Crimson, if you don't mind my asking, what are you doing? Care to ask me directly?
Teacher's Comments: I will not be involved.
33. (For Akihisa) Based on your childhood story with Himeji Mizuki, you're still a pervert at that time, calling Himeji Mizuki "Obscene". Are you a pervert when you were at kindergarten? Or when you were born? (From BakaFanBoy)
- Akihisa: Yep! Proud of it. Although you can't really blame me, you should have seen her. And yes, kindergarten too. Used to see pretty little panties everywhere. As for when I was born, maybe, don't remember. I was still cute, though.
- Teacher's Comments: And you ruin it.
34. (For Akihisa) I have a question for you, and I honestly have no idea if you know the answer, but I'll say it anyways. If train A is headed West Northwest at 70 miles per hour with two 5-minute stops, and train B is headed North Northwest at 60 miles per hour with one 10-minute stop, both headed to the same town, how many fingers do you have? (From Kaiser Von Raubtiere)
- Akihisa: OKAY! Train A towards West North… West again at 70 Tails with 251 minutos and train B is going North… North… Northwest at 60 Sonic the Hedgehog divided by three with 1101 hold it! There in the same town, my God, is it big enough. So, wait, do I count my toes. DO I COUNT MY TOES!
- Teacher's Comments: Why is the paper wet?
- Akihisa: Tears.
35. (For Shimada) Do you still have problems with Japanese? Because I'll recognize the occasional word, but I can never get the hang of it. If anything, I'm better versed in German, so I'll ask you this. "Minami, ich finde Sie unglaublich schön, und ich frage mich, was du tust, in der Zukunft als eine Karriere zu planen. Sie schauen, um einen funkelnden lila Kleid davon entfernt, ein Modell sein. N-Nicht, dass ich auf Sie schlagen oder etwas…" (From Kaiser Von Raubtiere)
- Shimada: Danke. I don't know what to say, wait, give me a sec.
- Akihisa: You want me to write something here?
- Shimada: Just read what Kaiser wrote to me.
- Akihisa: "Minami, itchy find Sir unglaublich? Dude, language! Schon and itch sandwich was dusty in the Zukunft. Carry the plane. Eminem Funky. Kelvin Kleid down a model…"
- Shimada: You only got the first and last words right. He's saying: "Minami, I find you incredibly beautiful, and I was wondering what you plan on doing in the future as a career. You look to be one sparkling purple dress away from being a model. N-Not that I'm hitting on you or anything…" Isn't that sweet?
- Akihisa: Splenda. This guy thinks he's so smooth, right? Purple dress, green suits your eyes better. Besides, didn't you say you wanted to be a high profile woman in the future, like an office lady or CEO or something; not some eye-candy for perverts.
- Shimada: Aki… Are you… Jealous?
- Akihisa: What, no. I don't want no purple dress.
- Shimada: :)
- Teacher's Comments: ;)
- Akihisa: Am I missing something here?
36. (For Himeji & Shimada) What's your favorite thing to see Akihisa wearing? You two plus Akira seem to really take a shine to him cross-dressing. (From Kaiser Von Raubtiere)
- Himeji: It's not on purpose, just that well, he looks cute. I'd like to see maybe a maid outfit, or a magical girl cosplay, or maybe a police girl Halloween costume. What do you think Minami?
- Shimada: …Purple dress.
- Himeji: You okay?
- Shimada: …Moving on. Tell you later.
- Teacher's Comments: Akihisa on a dress. Eww.
37. (For Aiko) We both get a kick out of Muttsulini. How much to go streaking down a hallway? (From Kaiser Von Raubtiere)
- Aiko: Weren't you flirting with Minami Mr. Kaiser, and you want me naked? Shame~on~you. But I've never been interested in that. My goal is not to show everyone. Just Kouta. And someone like him, you have to keep things up your sleeve, or rather, down your dress…
- Teacher's Comments: Why do they keep asking you things?
- Aiko: Curiosity I suppose…
38. (For Hazuki) You're the most adorable thing ever. I know it's not a question, but you're just really, really über cute. It must be a Shimada thing. (From Kaiser Von Raubtiere)
- Hazuki: Thanks! I take after my sister. We are cute! Oh, and you were saying she was pretty, right. Unglaublich schön. That was very nice of you, but she belongs to Idiot Big Bro, so maybe I can be your girlfriend. You said I was cute, right? Whatcha say?
- Teacher's Comments: I… Don't think he wants the police in his house.
- Shimada: Hazuki! Really, friends. And Kaiser, do excuse her. She's… precocious.
- Hazuki: What's that?
- Teacher's Comments: Just part of growing up.
39. (For Miharu) Is there any hope at all for men in your eyes? What would it take for you to think that not every man is a quote-unquote "pig"? (From Kaiser Von Raubtiere)
- Miharu: Who know. I know not all men are bad, I mean, my dad isn't that bad a male. I mean, he's overprotective, and I don't like bathing with him since I'm not a little girl anymore, but he's not bad. But then again, he's the exception Men are just perverted in nature, so I wouldn't hold my breath for some white knight to come and change my views. It just doesn't happen.
- Teacher's Comments: Just give it time, you're still growing. When you know what it is you really like, boys, girls, both, neither and you like them not because of hatred for the other but because you really like them, then you'll know. For now, don't cross anyone out.
- Miharu: I suppose…
40. (For Zancrow (Author)) Are you still writing this? (From black lust3r soldi3r of chaos)
- Zancrow: AM I?
- Teacher's Comments: Who the heck are you?
- Zancrow: In all seriousness… that I can actually give in this scenario, yes, I am. I haven't abandoned this fic yet, and I'll go on for a while as much as I can. I know updates are few with lengthy periods of time in between, but I guess my job takes way too much time out of me. Yes, I'm working part-time. Add to that college, and socializing every 31st of the months because I don't have time to do so much, and yeah… But I haven't abandoned any of you. This is still my funniest story, and it holds some meaning to me.
- Teacher's Comments: Weird guy in the back, get out of this classroom or I'm contacting the authorities.
- Akihisa: Fairy Tail ref!
41. (For Akihisa) If you had to: 1) Marry and have kids with Minami. 2) Burn in the green flames of darkness. 3) Be banished to the Shadow Realm. 4) Marry and have kids with Miharu. 5) Actually burn in hell; or 6) Marry and have kids with Himeji? What would you chose? (From black lust3r soldi3r of chaos)
- Akihisa: Let's see. Let me picture it: 1) Violent kids who pick on daddy. 2) Get hit by an environment friendly fire. 3) I suck at card games. 4) I'd have to wear a dress. 5) Get hit by non-environment friendly fire. 6) Die by poison, with the kids. So… I'd pick 3, since 2 and 5 hurt and I can't force Minami, Miharu or Himeji to marry me, so… CARD GAMES FTW!
- Teacher's Comments: LK ref!
42. (For Akihisa, Himeji, Shimada, Miharu and Akira) If you all were married to each other and all had Akihisa last name Yoshii what would be the names of the kids? What genders of the kids etc.? And last who would cook? (From black lust3r soldi3r of chaos)
- Akihisa: SoI didn't have to choose! I get married to Himeji... And Shimada… And Miharu… And… my sister? Dude, really?
- Himeji: I don't think we're this desperate…
- Shimada: Aki wouldn't do that.
- Miharu: Gross, wait, Minami, my dear, you're acting weird.
- Shimada: …
- Akira: My last name is Yoshii, so I really don't change in that, huh?
- Akihisa: Sis, please. Like we would.
- Akira: Just pretend, okay, babies. They'd have to start with A. So I can nickname the baby A-tan!
- Himeji: I want a boy, but this would be weird.
- Shimada: Aki, what do you want, boy or girl?
- Akihisa: Boy! So we can play games. Then a girl, so we can play three player. Then triplets, so I can buy the a Wii U and see them all play, the eldest against his four younger siblings.
- Miharu: Marry a hamster then! You think giving birth is easy!
- Shimada: F-Five kids, okay…
- Miharu: …I've lost her.
- Himeji: And before anyone says it, I wouldn't cook. I'm working on that…
- Teacher's Comment: This is a weird question.
43. (For Yuuko) If you had to choose between all manga in creation not be created except "Baka and Test" or marrying and have kids with Hideyoshi which would you chose? (From black lust3r soldi3r of chaos)
- Yuuko: 1) A world without manga would hurt, but I'd still have Glee. 2) Even if I wanted to bang Hideyoshi and pop out a few mini-us we wouldn't have to marry, we're already family. 3) Not gonna happen.
- Teacher's Comments: Twincest. Always the twincest.
44. (For Class F) If a band/group of kids from the U.S. all moved to where ever in Japan you are what would you do if they all went to your school and in class 2-F while you in 2-F what would you do? Band plays songs by Disturbed, Linking Park, Evanescence, Breaking Benjamin and Megadeth; would you listen to the music? (From black lust3r soldi3r of chaos)
- Akihisa: Cool, a band. Let's see… I would be so psyched; it would be nice to have something for karaoke night!
- Yuuji: True, but wouldn't that steal the thunder from us. You know, O.C.s and stuff.
- Akihisa: O.C.s are great, don't bad mouth them. Still, how can we answer this?
- Yuuji: Yeah, what can we say. "Shut the door and leave them outside"? We'd welcome them, of course. Hey, since it mentions the music, why don't we answer which one of these bands songs we like the most.
- Akihisa: Okay! Theme songs, me likey!
- Hideyoshi: I don't think they're asking-
- Akihisa: Less writing, more picking. I go first. My theme song would be: "Stupify" by Disturbed.
- Yuuji: …Whatever. My theme song would be: "Points of Authority" by Linkin Park.
- Himeji: …But I'm not a rock girl… Erm, I guess I'd pick "Lo-
- Akihisa: Hey! Say it right.
- Himeji: …Fine. My theme song would be: "Lost In Paradise" by Evanescence.
- Shimada: My theme song would be: "Anything For You" by Evanescence.
- Hideyoshi: I'd pick, I mean, my theme song would be: "So Cold" by Breaking Benjamin.
- Kouta: My theme song would be: "Breaking The Habit" by Linking Park.
- FFF (#1): Boys, let's start. Our…
- FFF (#2): theme song…
- FFF (#3): Would be…
- FFF (#4): "Public Enemy…
- FFF (#5): No. 1"…
- FFF (#6): By… wait, that's all I say?
- FFF (#7): MEGADETH!
- FFF (#8): …!
- FFF (#1): Oh yeah!
- Teacher's Comments: Yeah, right. Keep thinking that. Just don't forget to study. This will be on the test.
- Kouta: You keep saying that, isn't this the test?
-0-
The Author Rants About:
Plots
And by that I mean story ideas. I've been getting many ideas out of these Q&As of mine that I would like to represent as future fanfictions. My idea is to take these concepts and make them into one-shots or two-shots that actually fit (somewhat) into the continuity of this Q&A. Can I do it? Will I do it? Probably, but I'm not really promising anything.
I'd like to just hear from you guys, what would you like me to focus on? This Q&A? Spinoffs carrying over whatever character development I've added here? Or fresh fics not connected to this in anyway? I mean, we need to add more to the Baka & Test archive, so let me hear your ideas!
Also, German. Ich liebe dich!
(1) Mizuki Himeji's "super-secret-stop-all-my-thoughts-food-pills" are not for everyone. Usage may cause diarrhea, upset stomach, internal bleeding, involuntary spasms, prolonged menstrual pain of females, prolonged dysfunctions on males, product not tested on Hideyoshis (Hideyoshies? Hideyoshs? Whatever), fainting, death without the chance of going to Heaven or Hell. Also, your farts will smell.