1
One year ago
When she got home that afternoon, Gabriella was very careful not to slam the front door after her. Standing still on the green chequered door mat, she stayed completely silent to be able to hear the faintest sounds coming from the house. The company car her mother was using wasn't in the driveway but that didn't mean she would be alone. Her calm gaze studied the near empty hallway giving access to the kitchen and dining room, then up to the stairs, focusing on catching any noise coming from her parents' bedroom.
Slowly letting go of the doorknob and with a prudent step, she turned to her left to peek inside the living room. The 32" TV precariously dangling on the small table with the broken leg was turned off, giving the beige painted room, an eerie silent atmosphere that echoed in her ears just as loud as if the stereo speakers were blasting rock music. She didn't even need to look on the grey love seat -that was probably white in its younger days- to know that she wouldn't find her father there. The black cuffs on the armrests of the couch and the multicoloured stains that made it look like the soiled cloth of a messy painter, made the chair repulsive to her and her mother, but not to her father.
It had been his favourite spot to spend the day in for the last couple of years. Ever since he lost his job, to be exact. But although his father's heavy body wasn't flushed on the couch as usual, the light smell of beer that floated in the air made her heart turn as her eyes shifted to the pile of beer bottles randomly thrown on the floor. Gabriella sighed deeply before turning on her heels and, still with a very cautious step, climbed up the stairs while holding on to the railing so she could go as sturdily and silently as possible. The door to her parents' bedroom was left ajar. She bit her lower lip as she peeked inside and fought back the pang of guilt igniting inside of her, for feeling relieved and quite happy, that she found the room empty.
Her steps were now light and hurried; her movements fluid and quick. The heaviness that weighed on her chest by the fear of finding her father home, had vanished. But now, she could relax and move at her natural pace and not risking to upset her father by doing anything that would wake him up. In the same way she knew he'd get red with fury if he found out that she didn't spend the whole day at school. But the young girl shrugged as she removed her jeans to slip into old overalls; her father was often upset nowadays anyway.
Gone were the days when they would spend hours learning how to play a new song on the guitar or scoured the record stores to find an old album with unique sounds. Far were the times when they would go on fishing trips down at the old riverbed, just the two of them, or their visits to the museums surrounding the area. Even their early morning breakfast trips to the nearest Denny's, every year, on her birthday had stopped. But she was doing her best not to place blame. She knew things had been hard enough at home after her father got laid off his position after nearly twenty-five years of service. She would have been scorned and upset too if she were shown the door without any explanation, after working for so long for a company.
She understood how hard it must be, for a talented computer programmer and software developer that her father was, to find decent employment. She also understood why he refused to look for any other jobs that he judged demeaning, causing her mother to quit her part time job at the library, to work full time as the assistant of a big shot lawyer, while he spent most of his days splattered in front of the TV and his nights, arguing with his wife. She even understood all the changes they had to make, to be able to live on only one minimum wage salary. They had to sell their good furniture, the bank repossessed their car and Gabriella was also aware that, without her mother working long hours, they would have probably lost their house too.
So she made sure she didn't become a dead weight and did her part. Cleaning up after her father by picking up the beer bottles he'd left behind, washing his clothes that he'd barely changed out of. She would wash the dishes and even found a small job walking the neighbours' dogs in order to come up with her own allowance. It didn't bother her that she barely spent time with her mother any more as some days, Elizabeth would start work before Gabriella even woke up or would come back home in the middle of the night.
She no longer had time to bake a cake for her daughter's birthday but again, Gabriella bit her lower lip, reminding herself not to feel sorry for herself. There were so many people in the world living in much worse conditions than she was and she had to remember to be grateful for all of her parents' sacrifices to provide for her. Besides, she celebrated enough with Taylor by skipping school. It had become a little ritual between the girls where, twice a year, at each other's birthdays, they would spend half the day at the arcade where they would eat a big amount of junk food, before heading to the mall to spend the remaining of their money in the discount dollar store buying cheap jewellery, scarves and other knick-knacks that neither of them really needed.
As she was debating whether or not she should mop the kitchen floor after clearing off the counters and fixing the clean dishes in the cupboards, Gabriella decided to check her email instead, to see if she received the notes she missed in class. She went through each room again to make sure she fixed any messes her parents left behind and climbed the stairs two by twos to her room.
She always found comfort and safety in her room. It could use a good painting job but she managed to hide most of the imperfections with the different posters from her favourite bands and guitar players. Van Halen and Hendrix greeted her with a smile that translated the passion she shared with them for the beloved instrument, and her fingers itched to go back downstairs to pick up the guitar to play. But she ran a hand on her brows, pushing the desire aside. Her school work came first.
After taking a shower, she sat on her bed next to the box of Thai chicken fried rice she had delivered with the few dollars she had left and, before long, was nose deep in the school notes her friends had emailed her. Since she was using Taylor's connection -the internet was one of the many luxuries her mother said they could no longer afford- the WiFi was spotty at times but she felt thankful that she could stay quietly in her room to study. It was only three thirty and it would be a while before her mother came back from work. She had no idea where her father was, or when he would be back, but she hoped he would be in a good mood when he did.
It was the loud bang of the front door that pulled her out of the Hilbert's problem she had decided to tackle and Gabriella blinked when she realized that her room was almost in a semi-darkness. She had completely lost track of time and quickly noted that it was well past five. Gosh, she hated how the sun would set so early in Fall. But she didn't have time to ponder on how long exactly she had spent dealing with her mathematical problems, when the front door opened and closed violently, even louder than it did one second ago.
"Please, no, not tonight."
But her prayer must have fallen into death ears. Her heart skipped a beat when the frightening growl in her father's voice travelled up the stairs into her room.
"Don't you dare walk away from me when I'm talking to you." She couldn't hear her mother's answer but guessed it was not as cooperative as her father must have wanted it. He shouted again. "I'm still the man of this house and you will show me some respect."
Gabriella exhaled loudly while closing her laptop before getting out of her bed. That's what she gets for not blasting her music out of her earphones, or for not closing her door earlier, for that matter. But the next words her father uttered turned her hand into frozen claws as her fingers tightened on the doorknob.
"You will not go back or I swear I'll kill both you and him with my bare hands."
This time, Gabriella clearly heard her mother's sarcastic laughter.
"Shut up, Oscar. I've had it with your idle threats. I'll remind you it's thanks to Henry that we still have a roof over our heads and food in our plates."
"I'm serious, Elizabeth."
"And who do you think pays for all the beer you've been drinking every single day? Everything we have now, is because of Henry's generosity. You're just too proud to admit it."
A strong wave of anger washed over Gabriella as she decided to close her door to mute out as much as possible, the loud joust happening down the stairs. It's been a few months now since her mother had been praising the remarkable generosity of her employer, defence Attorney Henry Forbes. Gabriella had never met the man but she couldn't help but feel quite angry whenever her mother would mention her boss. She spoke of him as if he were the most remarkable, intelligent and capable man on the planet and it was hard for the young girl not to feel resentment towards the attorney.
Sure, he had given her a noticeable raise and was now signing a pretty nifty amount on her paycheck. He also made sure Elizabeth had a car she could use, but in Gabriella's eyes, her father was and will always be the most intelligent and capable man on earth. He was just going through a tough patch, trying to find a job that he loved and would feel proud doing, but that didn't give her mother any rights to praise another man right in her husband's face. Disgusting and quite disturbing, if you asked her.
"Is that why you're sleeping with him?" Her father barked. "You should have told me he hired you to be his personal whore instead of his assistant."
"Oh, screw you!"
Her heart still beating at a fast pace that made her head turn, Gabriella didn't realize she held her breath as she walked out of her bedroom to stand on top of the staircase. Both her parents were still standing at the beginning of the hall, right underneath from where she was standing on the balustrade. She backed away against the wall but preoccupied by their intense argument, she was sure neither of them would ever notice her presence. Slowly, she let her weak body slide down the floor and wrapped her arms around her knees.
She had often caught sounds of the couple arguing, which had intensified since the last couple of years. But she always found refuge in her room, blasting her music through her earphones as a desperate attempt to drown out all the raucous they made. But she knew for a fact that her father was a jealous man. It wasn't the first time she'd heard him accuse her mother of cheating, but it had always turned out to be false. The tears pooled in her eyes when this time, her mother didn't try to convince her father that he was crazy. Elizabeth's answer was dry and direct.
"Well, I've got to take care of my daughter some way or another, since she hasn't been your priority for a while now. But do you want to know why I let him screw me?"
"Because you're a cheap, cheating whore who will open her legs for any man who will dangle a few dollar bills in front of her."
Elizabeth laughed. Her voice was surprisingly calm and composed when she spoke. "Oh no, not just any man. Just Henry. Because I love him." Her tone gradually intensified, filled with venom as she repeated the words. "Did you hear me, Oscar? I love him. And I hate you."
The loud clap of the slap echoed like thunder on the side of her mother's face and Elizabeth's body slammed against the nearest wall under the force of it. Gabriella's loud gasp of terror and surprise was quickly pushed down her throat as she covered her mouth with her hands, but nothing could stop the tears that were now rapidly strolling down her cheeks, or her heart, feeling heavy and beating rapidly inside her chest.
Elizabeth's faint cries of pain shot atrociously straight to the young girl, spreading rapidly along her arms and legs, paralysing her as if she was the one who'd been hit. She wanted to scream at her father to stop pulling her mother by her hair. She wanted to run down the stairs to hit the corpulent man who was shouting obscene words to her mother before throwing her down on the floor and menacing to kill her. But she couldn't move. A voice inside her head was shouting, ordering her to rescue her mother but her limbs trembled with strong convulsions instead.
Somehow, Oscar's angry bark made way to her ears again and she made sense of his words once again.
"You're my wife, understood? For better and for worse." He spat on the floor next to Elizabeth before sneering down at her. Sweat ran down his reddened face while he pulled down on his grey shirt, that had become too small due to all the weight he had gained by staying home all day, drinking. "I don't care how much this jerk is paying you for sucking his dick, you will never go back there again."
"I'd rather be his whore and a suck his dick down on my knees, than be your wife." The raspy voice came out stifled but determined. "In fact," Elizabeth added in a quiet tone, "I stopped being your wife the minute I filed for divorce. It doesn't matter if you still won't sign the papers."
"I will never sign them,"Oscar cut her off abruptly by throwing his fist up in the air. Gabriella clearly saw her mother flinch while taking a step back, as if trying to prevent from being slapped again but this time, her father grabbed her by the arm and brought her forward. "You'll never get rid of me. I'll never let this bastard get near my daughter."
"Gabriella will be much better off not having you in her life," Elizabeth managed to say while pushing her husband away to free herself from his grip. "She loves you now but believe me, she will hate you even more than I do, when she finally realizes what kind of monster you've become."
A heavy silence made time stand still. Gabriella could clearly hear the constant, unchangeable sound of the clock located in the entrance hall. Each tick that passed by made her chest tighten even more. Each tock, more menacing than the previous one, because she knew her father enough to know when he's been pushed pass his breaking point. Her body began shaking again. Never she would have imagined words could cut as sharply as a knife, that her father's hand that used to bring her protection and warmth, could hurt his wife just as easily as he used to hold her hand to cross the streets.
At this moment, while the two people she loved the most in the world stood fiercely facing each other, hatred in her mother's eyes and a vicious anger in her father's, Gabriella realized that she didn't recognize anyone of the two. When did her mother become a cheater? When did she become so fierce as to being slapped against a wall one minute and the next, stand fearlessly against the very same man who hit her? When did her father become a man who beats on his wife? How long had her mother filed for divorce?
"We'll see about that."
Long after her father had strode out of the room, Gabriella was still sitting down on the floor against the wall on top of the stairs. Her mother didn't move from where she had let her body fall down to the ground, sobbing. Once again, Gabriella wanted to run down to her, take her in her arms and this time, be the one to bring her mother comfort. But once again, she stayed still, unable to move. How would Elizabeth feel if she knew her daughter witnessed the argument? How could she make her mother feel better when she was in so much pain herself?
Anger, shame and doubts filled her heart. She should have stopped her father; she should confront Elizabeth about everything she heard. She had so many questions but she was so afraid to hear the answers. Dazed and confused, Gabriella closed her eyes to breath in and mentally recited the mathematical formulas she had studied earlier, to force her brains to keep a systematic way of running.
She needed to think objectively and clearly if she needed to confront her mother. She finally gathered all her strength to rock her body up her feet, but had to hold on to the railing of the stairs after she opened her eyes, as everything around her started spinning. She took another deep breath and was about to go down the stairs when she perceived her mother's muffled voice. She finally realized that Elizabeth had gone into the living room and was debating whether or not to go after her when she heard the whispers.
The young girl silently came closer to hear better.
"I can't live like this anymore," Elizabeth's voice faltered and she blew her nose to be able to speak again. "I know. I know. But he won't sign them, Henry."
Gabriella's body hair stood as she heard the name. Henry. Her boss. Her lover. Anger against her mother, and the man she was cheating with, blinded her.
"I told you, I will not leave Gabriella alone with him," Elizabeth was talking again. "There's got to be another way, Henry." Another second of silence. "No, I can't come tonight, it's Gabriella's" her mother gasped and Gabriella heard movements as if Elizabeth was standing up. "No, today is Gabriella's birthday and that's why I came here early but I completely forgot."
Gabriella swiftly ran back up the stairs as she heard her mother's footsteps coming her way, and hurriedly closed her bedroom door after her. Picking up her phone and sliding under her covers were done as quickly and quietly as she could. When she heard the knock on her door, she cranked up the volume of the music and threw the cover over her shoulder.
When Elizabeth called her name, she didn't answer. When her mother removed the ear buds after stooping the music, she still stayed quiet, pretending to be deeply asleep. Even when the tender and motherly kiss reached her cheek and the soothing hand ran through her curls, Gabriella still stayed quiet, controlling her slow breathing while fighting hard not to hold on to her mother's hand to seek out comfort.
"No, she must have fallen asleep after she got home, this afternoon. Oh, Henry, I hope she didn't hear any of that. Yes, she is strong, it's just…" Her mother sighed quietly before whispering on the phone again. "I have to go, honey. Don't worry, I'll be fine. He grabbed my keys as soon as I came here and he took the car so, who knows where he went? I promise. I love you too."
Her mother, who had sat by her feet on the bed for what seemed like forever, was finally gone and Gabriella finally breathed out of relief. But that feeling quickly vanished, as despair took a hold of her again. The water works she had succeeded at fighting when Elizabeth was in her room, exploded and all she could do was crying silently, tears drenching her pillow.
The hours went by slowly. She had stopped crying but she was still feeling so confused, so powerless, so angry. It wasn't clear yet, who she was angry with the most. Her mother for cheating and breaking up her family or her father for hitting her mother so hard. The room was now completely dark and the house completely silent. But her head was still full of her parent's voices, screaming at each other, destroying the utopian family she had forced herself to believe she was a part of.
Now that all the truth was revealed to her, what would happen to them? She knew they were going through some harsh times for some time now, but divorce? Will her father sign the papers? Will they fight with each other over who would have custody? She was grateful she was only one year short of being an adult but there was the case of wakening up in the morning and pretend not to have heard anything. She was seeing her family with brand new eyes and had no idea what to make of it now.
The clock on her phone showed eleven and Gabriella sighed heavily, turning on her back to look up at the ceiling of her room. She might as well give up on sleeping. But she couldn't get out of her room either without risking alerting her mother, and she was not ready to face her.
That's when she realized that she still didn't hear her father come back. Maybe he did while she was crying her heart out and she simply didn't hear. Gabriella agilely reached her door and, just as she did when she first came home in the afternoon, used her hearing to catch any noise that would indicate that her father was home. No TV playing, no sounds of beer bottles clinking and the sole heavy breathing of her sleeping mother came back to her.
She went back to her bed and urged herself not to worry. Oscar would probably come in later or was spending the night at his sister's. She understood that he might need to stay away, at least for the night, from the woman who cheated on him and flaunted her relationship in his face. She closed her eyes and mentally went through a difficult music sheet she had to master for her music class. Soon enough, her fingers were playing her favourite air guitar and she completely forgot about real life.
The insistent ring of her mother's phone reached her ears like an echo, distant yet so close. She must have dozed off but an instant cold shiver ran down her spine like the claws of a cat when she looked at the time again. Nothing good could come out of a phone call at two o'clock in the morning. Her mother's voice whispering, the flashing red and blue lights that shone through her windows. She was already on her feet when the doorbell startled her, and her own hurried footsteps followed her mother's, as she ran down the stairs after the older woman.
There was a woman's voice murmuring baffled apologies. The pressure on her stomach intensified and she felt like dreaming when she ran to the entrance and saw the police officer, speaking to her mother. She didn't need to hear what they were saying. Somehow, she had felt it. Somehow, she already knew.
2
Today
Many times, in her dreams, the events of that night would change. Her father never lost his job, her mother never met Henry and fallen in love with him. Oscar would then never be so upset as to slap Elizabeth but mostly, the outcome was always the same: her father was still alive. But when she'd wake up and reality set in, the pain punched her in the guts just as hard it did that very night. And it hurt even more, day after day, as it always felt like her father died over and over again. In a constant, morbid loop where she would wake up swimming in her sweats and mentally lost.
And this morning was no exception. Her mind was still floating in between two worlds, fighting to stay in her dreams where her father was still taking her fishing at the pond, to the real world where her life had become a nightmare. Her eyelids felt heavy and her mouth was dry with a pasty taste. All her body was aching as if somebody spent the whole night beating her up with a baseball bat. She grimaced when a latent pulse pounded her head. Unfortunately, she knew that pounding headache oh, too well!
She never wanted to wake up on that dreadful birthday morning. That's why she had planned that it would be her last. There was just something poetic and symbolic to die on the day she was born and her father died. But there she was; alive and kicking it with a major migraine. A grave, incomprehensible murmur was trying to get through the fog that clogged her mind, and she fought hard to keep her eyes closed, shut down her brains and kill her pain, both physical and emotional.
Yet, a fluttery sensation took flight in the pit of her stomach when the murmur became clearer and she recognized the fruity tone of Troy's voice.
"I'm in Bowen. Can't you guys cover for me?"
Gabriella forced herself to open her eyes, but closed them immediately as this time, the pain shot right through her pupils to the back of her head. Oh, how she would trade her favourite guitar pick for a shot of morphine! She pulled her hand up as a visor against the light of the day that was shining way too brightly for her taste, and tried to open her eyes again, this time, slower.
"I don't have the last notes because I left class early." The young man was speaking calmly, although Gabriella could hear a little ounce of impatience in the fluidity of his speech. She had talked to him enough to recognize his mood in his different intonation. "That's too complicated, I'm coming." He paused a short second to run his hand in his short hair. "I'm driving, so you'll have to wait. Whatever."
There seemed to be a world of differences between this Troy and the one she sees on that picture everyday at her school. This version seemed more grown up like he'd aged thirty years instead of only two. His hair had grown a little more since the last time she seen him. It was still short in the back and the sides, but there were longer strands falling over his forehead. Her fingers itched with the desire to sweep them back.
Gabriella could only see his profile, but he appeared sleepy and tired. Or maybe drained, like she was. And it was all because of her that he'd spent the whole night without getting any sleep. Her heart swelled up with thankfulness. He had decrypted her cry for help and came to her rescue. She wasn't sure yet if she were happy to still be alive or not, but she knew she owed it all to him. She really wasn't a princess in need of saving, but she also really couldn't frown upon being swept away by this particular pair of strong arms.
She stretched out her hand to touch his back. Troy promptly turned his head her way, tenderness quickly replaced the worry in his smile. He climbed on the bed next to her and, just as he did the night before, brought her body close to his, allowing her to place her head on his shoulder, her face really close to the crook of his neck. Slightly uncomfortable by their closeness and feeling hesitant, Gabriella timidly placed the palm of her hand on his chest and held her breath as his fingers brushed her forehead, down to her right cheek to remove the hair covering her face.
She closed her eyes as she found the temperature of her bedroom becoming suddenly really hot. Or was it just Troy's skin that was burning her hand underneath the dark blue t-shirt he was wearing? It was so hard for her to think –and breathe- when his hard muscles where flexing under her touch and his fingers were now running along her neck, his thumb gently stroking her shoulder. She wasn't naïve enough not to recognize the physical desire burning her own skin, making her body pulse to the accelerated rhythm of her heart, or the overpowering need to feel his lips on hers again.
The memories of their kiss the night before made way to her mind, turning the fire heating her up from the inside into a bright flame. She found it interesting how much she wanted her heart to stop beating, yet, one person was able to make it beat really fast. As if he could read her mind, Troy's thumb glided from her cheek to her lips before pulling her head up to look at him by lifting her chin. Gabriella swallowed her breath, biting in her lower lip before opening her eyes, praying that the young man wouldn't read how strongly she wanted him to kiss her.
"I'm sorry I woke you," Troy whispered, placing his lips against her forehead. "Go back to sleep."
Gabriella shrugged. "I haven't done much sleeping." Her own voice was hoarse, barely audible.
"Hence why you need to stay still," Troy snickered softly before tilting his head back to have a better look at her face. Her first reaction was to hide behind her hands; she must look hideous after a sleepless night. But he'd already seen her the night before with puffy red eyes and snot coming out of her nose from wailing, and he didn't run away. In comparison, at the moment, she must look like the fairy queen going out to a ball. "How are you feeling?"
His question was laced with worry and Gabriella tried to look up at him. But the effort was way too much as her head began throbbing again, so she gave up.
"I feel good for someone who was supposed to wake up dead." She had tried to joke but even she, couldn't find humour in the deliberate misuse of the words.
Troy's body shifted against her. They were now facing each other, their noses only a breath away from touching and once again, hers got caught in her throat. There was just a sparkle in his pupils that made them look clearer than she remembered. Yes, they were stricken with red lines from his sleepless night holding her against him while she told him every details of the day her life changed for the worse. But it didn't matter; his eyes remained the most expressive and electrifying sight she's ever seen.
Just like every waking time, the birds outside her windows were chanting the morning glow piercing through the curtains of the patio door. She knew her mother and Henry would probably be nose deep in work in their home office on the first floor like they did every Saturday morning. She would soon be called down for breakfast but for now, it was all quiet. For now, she was at peace.
It was a feeling she didn't know she could experience again. A quietness of the mind that enhanced all of her other senses being tickled by Troy's fingers brushing her hair and running behind her neck, sending shivers down to her toes. It was a moment of bliss and comfort generated by the intimate relationship they had built night after night, by talking for long hours to each other, learning to listen and communicate without pretences and passing judgement. For the first time, she's been able to voice out her pain and confide in someone else other than Taylor, and deep in her heart, she knew Troy was just the right person to share her secret with.
There was an unspoken familiarity in the way their bodies joined each other; a recognition in the softest touch and an unspoken desire that had yet to be discovered. Troy just couldn't get away from her warmth, couldn't stop touching her curls that swirled around his fingers. And just like the night before when he kissed her, he enjoyed the little small sharp breath intake she was taking and the sprinkles he left behind on her skin under his touch, that let him know he was wanted just as much as he wanted.
He should have gotten enough of her by now from holding her all night. But things were different; then she needed comfort, a friend. Now… he had no idea what she needed or where this new found intimacy left them. They were both still fully clothed but his body was painfully pulsing, his heart was pounding incessantly against her hand laid flat on his chest and his own fingers were trembling with anticipation. But he had to leave. No matter how much they both wanted to take things further, he knew she wasn't ready yet, with all the sadness and anger she still had inside of her, and the deep emotional wound that was still open and bleeding.
He could easily recognize her vulnerability, and he respected the fact that she needed to heal first, before being able to completely give herself to him without any regrets. And he also developed a deep respect for how mentally strong she was. He wasn't an angel and never was. Half of all the bad things that happened to him were probably of his own doing and he most likely deserved and needed them, to mature into the man he was today. But Gabriella didn't ask for any of the heartache she went through.
Besides, he had to leave to meet with his classmates to work on a stupid project that counted for thirthy percent of his marks. Was his guilt towards his younger brother another reason why he had to control himself? Would he really make love to a girl he knew his sibling was in love with? His jaw ticked when he realized that he needed to come to terms with that situation before he could go any further with the young girl.
"What are you thinking about?"
He trembled and his lower stomach tightened under Gabriella's soft touch, when she threaded her fingers through his hair. It was never written she would make it easy for him. He left a gentle kiss on her forehead, then in the palm of her hand, unable to resist her caresses any longer.
"I was thinking how much I admire your resilience." He confessed after clearing his throat.
First surprised, then perplexed, Gabriella lowered her head to hide her blushing face when she realized it was a compliment.
"I believe brat should be the right word to describe me. I mean look around you," she went on after Troy raised a confused brow. "I should be grateful to be able to live in such a nice place. I should be grateful that I still have my mother with me. Not being this typical, ungrateful angry teenager filled with angst."
"You'll grow out of it," Troy replied with a smile. "Never apologize for the way you feel. I don't think you're upset about what happened as much as the way and how fast it all happened. You barely had time to process the fact that your parents were having marital problems, that you lost your father. And you barely had any time at all to mourn him that you had to move in a brand new life, living with a stranger in a new home, and a new city."
Troy swiped away a tear from Gabriella's cheek before pressing his lips against her forehead again.
"You are entitled to your feelings," he continued, sliding his mouth next to her ear. A vague scent of her shampoo tickled his nose – a sugary combination of peaches, honeydew and vanilla- and his eyes closed with delight. What he would give to spend the whole day holding her in his arms! But for now, he removed his hands, careful not to touch her in any way. Otherwise he knew he wouldn't leave without kissing that small part of her hip that showed under her shirt that went up. Then he knew he would raise it just a little bit more, to slide his tongue inside her belly button.
Just… Darn it! The young man silently cursed himself for the erotic nature of his thoughts. He took a deep breath while reminding himself once again, that Gabriella needed a friend, not a lover. He cleared his throat to be able to continue.
"Healing is not trying to forget," he said gently, his eyes refocused, while scanning the ones of his interlocutor to gauge her reactions. "Healing is accepting that what happened, happened and choose to live pass it." His thumb came brushing her cheek. "It's OK to heal, little girl."
Gabriella was speechless, her mind churning with Troy's words as she tried to grasp their meaning. Did she want to heal? How could she even begin to, when the pain was still so unbearable? She swallowed down her heartache.
"You sound like you know what you're talking about." Gabriella mused, doing her best to sound light.
Troy simply smiled. "I have had some healing to do myself and I've suffered intensively on my way there, so yeah, I know what I'm talking about." He decided to kiss the top of her nose, unable to resist touching her any longer. "I'll tell you all about it, I promise, but I really have to go now." He hesitated for half a second. "Let me take you out tonight."
The young girl refused. "That sounds lovely, but not tonight."
"Specially tonight," he insisted. Their fingers intertwined as he moved upward to ease out the pain in the arm her head was laying on. He was now practically on top of her, having a generous view of her tempting lips. Her body moved under him and Troy bit down a moan when her hip brushed his virility through his jeans. His breath itched, swept away by the intense wave of electricity that flew between them, leaving him burning with desire. "Nothing big, just dinner."
How could she say no when she was so overwhelmed and overpowered by the intense and genuine desire gleaming in his eyes?
Satisfied with the answer, Troy pushed away the heavy feeling of lost weighing down his heart to be able to roll off the bed to retrieve his shoes. "What are you up to today?"
Feeling quite miserable for being left alone in the bed and sexually frustrated, Gabriella pouted. Was he going to leave without even kissing her again?
"I don't know, probably pick a fight with my mum for no reason at all."
Glancing sideways, Troy snickered. "Be done by 7." He picked up his phone and keys he had left on the side table and cursed under his breath, when he opened his notifications and read his brother's missed calls and unread texts.
"Is there something wrong?"
He pondered. Should he relate the conversation he had with his brother at the risk of sounding jealous? How could he let Ryan know that Gabriella was fine, and make him stop worrying, without finally confessing their relationship? He needed to think clearly about all this mess far from Gabriella. She made him too emotionally vulnerable. He buried the phone in his jeans pocket while standing up.
"Do me a favour, will you?" He realized his voice was harsh but the pang in his heart could not be removed. "Call my brother and let him know you're well."
Gabriella frowned and sat up straight. "Ryan? Why would I call Ryan?"
Defeated, the young man tucked his right hand in his front pocket and scratched the back of his head with his left. "He was looking for you at school and as he couldn't find you, he was worried."
"And he called you?" Gabriella asked while getting out of bed. She grimaced when her pulsing headache came back full force again. She thought twice about standing up but Troy was way too tall when she was laying down. "Does he know about us?" The words had just left her mouth that she got flustered. "Well, not us… 'Us'… I mean," she flustered even more when she saw Troy smile. "You know what I mean."
Quite amused, Troy took a step forward to frame her face in his hands before setting a fluttery kiss on her lips, and touching her forehead with his.
"I know exactly what you mean, my little girl," he acquiesced slowly. "For now, just call him and tell him not to worry. Is that okay with you?"
No, it wasn't, Gabriella thought instantly. She had neither the desire nor the want to call Ryan, but as she studied Troy's serious expressions, she shrugged. "Whatever."
She wasn't letting him get away with ignoring her question. But by the amount of light coming in the room now, she could tell that it was getting late and she would have to go down for breakfast soon, so she wanted him out before they got caught. They had been lucky enough that Elizabeth came home quite late from her movie date, which allowed Troy to spend the night with her but now, the longer he stayed, the more risks there were that her mother found him.
But she promised herself to have an honest discussion about his little brother. Did he know Ryan was avidly pursuing her? Do the two brothers talk about her? Will Troy let his brother come in between them or will she be the one coming between the two brothers? None of the answers that came up her mind pleased her.
"Do you think it's safe for me to go now?" Gabriella refocused on Troy who was now standing on the balcony, looking down the willow tree into the backyard.
She joined him. "I can go check but it should be OK. The help has the weekends off, so it's always pretty quiet."
They both glanced down. "Hopefully they won't see me through a window or something." Troy joked before facing the young girl again. "I'll call you but I will come pick you up around seven."
Before she could try to find a way out of it, Troy had already climbed down the tree and was crossing the yard with cautions steps. Gabriella stayed outside to watch him close the gate after him, and a few seconds more, as he jogged to the other street where his car was parked, before she went back to bed. She sighed deeply as she threw the covers over her head.
She wasn't sure how she was feeling at all. Happy that she was still alive? Sad that she still had to live with her cheating mother and her new rich, capable husband? Annoyed that she didn't have the courage to kiss Troy herself when she realized that he wouldn't do it again? It wasn't her first kiss. Far from it. She was in grade eight when Eddy Mann had kissed her by the front door after he walked her back from school. He was actually handsome in a boyish kind of way and she only let him do it just by curiosity, but at first, having someone thrust their tongue inside her mouth didn't quite taste like cake.
More like a drooling, sloppy mess she always experienced when eating watermelon. Not a sweet one either, a tasteless, spongy pink membrane that took over her mouth. It took her a couple more tries before she could really appreciate a kiss for what it was. And still, she knew nothing yet. Troy's kiss was quite short but her senses and her body had been heightened in a way they never were before.
She didn't want their first kiss to happen in such a way when she was crying and feeling so helpless. So she tried to push him. But it was the way he made her want, no, crave to be kissed by taking his time to peck along her neck and shoulder. The gentle words of comfort he whispered in her ear and the way his arm, strong and sturdy, allowed her to lean on him. When his lips finally touched hers, she had already melted against him, forgetting all about her pain and her father, even forgetting about where she was. His tongue wasn't tasteless; it was rich and sweet. It didn't invade her mouth but somehow, conquered her whole.
It wasn't the first kiss she wanted, but it was the first kiss she needed and it was just perfect. Was he expecting her to make the move now?
Come to think of it, she thought, she was glad he was taking her out. But how can she show him that she wanted more? Should she boldly tell him or give him hints like… like… wear red lipstick maybe? Pout her lips? Did he like the subtle or direct approach? Various scenarios popped in her mind of how exactly she would seduce him into kissing her, one more daring than the other, where she would leave Troy surprised and panting after her. Gabriella laughed happily, savouring the strange feeling of contentment she was experiencing.
But her bliss was short lived when her mother came knocking on her door. The effect of receiving a cold shower over her head came crashing down on her and Gabriella dragged herself out of bed, the old feelings of anger and despair replaced every bit of laughter that Troy had ignited in her heart.
Clad in tight, low-cut blue jeans that made in value her hourglass shape, and elegantly wearing a red cashmere cardigan with one shoulder falling to the side, Gabriella has never seen her mother so radiant. Maybe she was on the day she was marrying Henry, but Gabriella had refused to go, living for a full month with her father's sister. At least there, she was able to grieve with people who were really sad and upset that her father was dead, and not planning a whole new life without him.
Even if she were blind, she could have seen how happy and blissful her mother was. Elizabeth found love again in a man who was smart enough to give her a decent life, but it was just so hard for her daughter to feel happy for her. Gabriella was introduced to Henry just a couple weeks after her father died in a car accident, and their wedding was announced shortly after. The ink hadn't even dried up yet on Oscar's death certificate.
"Oh, honey, your eyes," Elizabeth exclaimed, her motherly instincts pushing her to open her arms to hug her daughter but Gabriella rapidly took two steps behind, clearly letting the older woman know she wasn't interested. Elizabeth let her hands fall by her sides in defeat and quickly swallowed the tears to hide the pain her daughter was inflicting her. She took a deep breath and forced a smile. "Have you been crying all night again? And you're still wearing your uniform?"
No answer. Elizabeth raised her chin and tried to breathe calmly. She and Henry had a long talk the night before. As she felt too depressed about her daughter to watch a movie, Henry had driven the car to an isolated place near the sea and they had talked for most of the night. She never thought she'd found a man so patient, so full of unselfish love who would make her feel loved and cherished again. She fell madly in love with him the minute he smiled warmly at her, on the day she had her job interview, and more and more, each day she spent being his wife.
Her life was just so complicated at the time and she didn't think twice about agreeing to marry him. Not once did she regret her choice and she had never been happier. But watching her only child living in so much pain, was the hardest thing she ever had to do. She had hoped, prayed, that Gabriella would get to know the wonderful man Henry was and come to like him. But Gabriella had chosen to go on a destructive path instead and no matter how strict or unwavering she tried to be, nothing worked. It was now time to try something else. She took a step forward.
"I came here to tell you that I'm sorry about what I said last night about your father," she began talking with a sincere voice. "The unfortunate events…"
"Ah, it won't kill you to say it, mother," Gabriella cut her off with anger. "For once, say it like it is. My father died." Gabriella strangled on the word and had to open her mouth to inhale before she could speak again. Her eyes were flooded with tears and her voice kept prisoner in her throat, but something inside of her pushed her to shoot the words out. "He drove Henry's stupid car after he had too many drinks and killed himself."
A long and raspy sob dug the pain out from a place deep inside of her and Gabriella's body bent in two under the shock of it. Yes, there was still pain. But underneath the pain, there was a new sentiment, a new kind of feeling that she couldn't understand yet. That she wasn't ready to face. But it left her feeling light as if she was floating weightlessly. A sentiment she knew, came with the fact that for the very first time since her dad passed away, she had finally said it out loud.
She never really had to. Taylor had always been by her side from day one and it never occurred to her to tell anyone who didn't already know. Yes, she had told Troy all about it the night before, and maybe that was the reason why it was easier to say it now, but finally being able to say it while talking to her mother left her feeling… relieved.
With both her hands on her chest, Elizabeth allowed her own tears to drop down her face. But they were tears of happiness. Her daughter finally made a step towards recovery. The therapist was clear that Gabriella needed to voice out what happened to her father, and that was the only way she could begin to accept it and start healing. It was a step her daughter needed to take on her own, hence why neither she or Henry mentioned the events in front of her. Elizabeth had no idea how it happened, but those were just the sweetest words her daughter could shout at her.
"Sweetheart, you've finally said it," she let out in a throaty voice. "Would you like to talk about your father and the accident?"
Now standing straight, Gabriella used her fingers to wipe the tears from her face. She suddenly no longer felt the need to cry. She felt liberated, as if a heavy weight was removed from her shoulders. She wanted to laugh, dance and kiss Troy until she passed out. She was dreading it before, but now, she couldn't wait to go out with him. She knew acceptance was part of the seven stages of grief, was hysteria somewhere on that list too?
Her voice remained controlled when she spoke again. "I'm going out tonight," she let out with one breath.
"Oh?" Taken aback, Elizabeth took the time to grab a Kleenex to wipe her tears. What was she thinking? Why was she hoping that Gabriella would open up to her so soon? She already witnessed her daughter taking a step towards recovery, she will have to be content with that for now.
"Yes," the young girl piled her arms across her chest. "Taylor and Jason want to take me out to dinner. It is my birthday, after all."
Her mother's voice was also very calm. "That's thoughtful of them. It would have been nice that you asked instead of telling me."
Gabriella felt the bite of guilt biting at her for lying but if she told the truth, her mother would insist on meeting Troy and she doubt neither of them were at the stage of awkwardly meeting the parents yet.
"Would you rather that I just went?"
Elizabeth cocked her head to the side and ran a finger on her eyebrow. Patience and understanding were the key elements Henry and she had decided to try from now on. Giving her daughter more freedom so she could feel trusted and at home. It was hard for her to accept but the Gabriella had just officially reached the age of adulthood and she had to make an effort to see the young girl for the adult she had started to become.
"I had something planned for us to celebrate together."
"I'd rather be with my friends."
This time her tone was harsher than she wanted it but Gabriella didn't wager under her mother's look of reprove. She recognized that it was going to be quite a long drive for Troy again, but she's rather die than let her mother know she was going on her very first date with a boy she really liked. Besides, knowing her mother, one look at Troy's mature look and piercing, and Elizabeth would probably never approve of him. So until she cleared the air with Troy and figured out where exactly their relationship was heading, she had to make sure he never met Elizabeth. So it was with great relief that she heard her mother agree.
"I'll drive you after lunch."
"Fine. Can I sleep at her place tonight?"
"Not after that stunt you pulled the last time you girls went out. Be back here for ten." Her mother spun on her white moccasins heels. "Go clean up, Henry is making blueberry pancakes."
She was about to argue but Gabriella decided against it and silently watched her mother go. She rushed to pick up her cellphone in her school bag to call her friend. She had to let Taylor know of her plans immediately. She turned the phone on after plugging it to charge and gaped at the high amount of missed calls she received. Fifteen of them were from Ryan only.
A few texts from friends and family wishing her a happy birthday, and twenty more from Ryan. She read a few that went from worrying about her, to begging her to call him back, to menacing coming to her house to speak to her mother and finally to begging again. She listened to two of his five voicemails and decided to delete them without listening any further, as they were more or less the same as the texts.
"This guy is crazy," she murmured, feeling more and more unease at calling him. But she did promise Troy and she took a deep breath when the young man picked up.
"Gabriella, thank God. What happened? Where are you? Are you OK? I need to see you."
She could clearly hear the genuine worry in his voice and for a moment, felt pity for him. She forced herself to speak gently.
"No, don't worry, Ryan. I'm fine."
"You left school early yesterday and you didn't answer any of my calls and messages. What happened to you? Where are you?"
"Nothing. I had some family emergency I needed to take care of."
"Your mother didn't tell me anything about that."
This time, Gabriella ignored the disbelief she heard in his tone as she felt uncomfortable that he would speak with her mother.
"You spoke to my mother?"
"Yes, you wouldn't answer your phone so I went to your house." Gabriella was about to ask how he knew her address but he continued. "I asked Kelsey for it. I need to see you, Gabriella. Please tell me where you are."
The young girl nervously tapped her fingers on the couch's armrest she was sitting on. No matter how much she tried, she always had that weird feeling of wanting to run away from Ryan. Yet again, she analysed how differently she felt when it came to the two brothers ; she wanted to stay as far away as possible from one, but was counting the seconds until she could be with the other. But then again, she didn't smell crazy on Troy like she did on Ryan.
"Ryan, I'm fine," she said firmly but patiently. "I'm sorry that I made you upset but believe me, I'm fine. You don't have to worry any more. I'll see you at school on Monday."
"But…"
"Bye, Ryan."
She hung up quickly, not wanting to drag the call any longer. Troy owed her big time but there was nothing she could do to make the younger sibling feel better. She leaned back on the chair and called her best friend.
"Hello, sunshine."
Boy was she happy to hear Taylor's voice! But she decided to play coy. "Hmm mm!"
"What's wrong? Prince charming got your tongue?"
Gabriella smiled but took her time to pull her hair out of her face before answering. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"You don't, uh?"
"Nope."
"I guess it was just a dream then," Taylor continued. "Where you at?"
"My room."
"Your room?"
"Where else would I be?"
"Okay, listen here, miss smarty pants, don't you play coy with me." Gabriella quietly laughed. She knew her friend was dying to hear details about Troy and how they spent the night. She would have to tell her eventually but for now, she was enjoying listening to the fake outage Taylor was trying to showcase as she continued talking. "Do you know how ridiculous I felt when I was fighting that beautiful specimen of a man built like a Greek god not to take you away, listening to him telling me personal things about my life? And me, just standing there, barely knowing his name…"
"That's not true." Gabriella cut her off.
"What?"
"His name," Gabriella replied innocently, now doing her very best not to laugh out loud. "You knew his name was Troy. Troy Bolton, actually."
Her friend went silent for a second then continued with an even higher time of voice. "So, not only did he take your tongue but he got your brains too? I said 'barely' know his name. What did this guy do to you last night?"
'He got my tongue alright! Literally!' Gabriella blushed when the thought was born in her mind but kept it to herself. She didn't mind to kiss and tell but once again, she realized she wasn't ready. At least not until she was certain of where she and Troy really stood.
"I'm sorry." She tried an apologetic voice but her friend was too smart to take the bait.
"No, you're not," Taylor scoffed before her voice broke off into fake crying. "I just didn't think we had secrets between us."
Gabriella couldn't keep her laughter in any longer. "He makes me laugh silly too."
Her friend went silent again, but this time, her voice was very serious when she spoke again. "Did you tell him?"
"That he makes laugh?"
"No, dummy. That… well, what happened last year."
"Yes, I did."
"Everything?"
"Everything."
"Wow. Apollo was right then. You do trust him."
"Apollo?" Gabriella asked with good humour.
"Adonis would suit him fine too. Man, that boy is fine."
Gabriella giggled. She was glad to realize she wasn't the only one captivated by Troy's charms. But more than his attractive physical attributes, it was his genuine warm personality, smarts and sense of humour that were so powerfully drawing her to him.
"Tay, really, I'm sorry that I didn't introduce you guys properly."
"A little heads-up would have been nice, but I guess I can find the courage to forgive you. Besides, he seems to care about you a lot." And when Gabriella didn't answer, she added: "I was expecting to find you all doom and gloom this morning but you're laughing and giggling so, whatever this guy did last night, must have been pretty good." Another short pause. "And what exactly did he do?"
Once again, Gabriella couldn't stop the blood from flowing to her face remembering all the details of the night she spent being held by Troy. And even in the morning when time seemed to have stopped, when his fingers were combing her hair and his lips so close to her ears and cheeks, she could feel his warm breath on her skin. They didn't have sex but she was certain that those moments they shared were more precious than two people grinding and sweating on each other.
"Nothing," Gabriella replied in all honesty. "He just listened and never even asked me to stop crying. He just…" She got up the couch to go grab the pillow where Troy had laid his head and brought it to her nose as she walked back to her previous seat. "He was just there when I needed him."
"Wow! I know how hard it is for you to talk about your dad and what happened. So, I'm really happy that you can finally trust someone enough to share that with. How did you guys meet? How long have you known each other?"
Gabriella sighed. She felt like she knew him for ever and yet… "Not long enough." She replied, forlorn.
"What does that mean exactly?"
She threw her hand up, feeling powerless. How could she explain to someone the intimacy they've built by simply talking on the phone? How can someone believe that she could trust and have such deep feelings of attachment for someone she's seen only three times? She couldn't believe it herself.
"I'm coming over after lunch, we'll talk," Gabriella decided. "Do you have to go to the studio for practice today?"
She understood her friend's curiosity about Troy; had their places been shifted, she would have insisted on knowing all the little details too. But the truth was, she wasn't even sure herself of what the 'little details' were exactly. She hoped that during their dinner later on, they'll be able to talk and be honest about their feelings for each other. She didn't want to pressure him but she started to feel like their nightly conversations weren't enough for her any more.
While Taylor was complaining about her insane dance practice, Gabriella buried her nose against the pillow she was still holding against her fast beating heart. It still smelled like Troy, a spicy yet delightful masculine scent that she found herself liking a lot. She closed her eyes again, Taylor's words getting lost in her ears.
No, she didn't know him long enough, but well enough, and that was enough for her. She sure hoped it would be enough for him also and that he too, wanted her the same crazy way she wanted him.
3
Coming back to her old neighbourhood had always been bittersweet. Those streets were the same where she, Taylor and the other kids would spend hours jumping rope or just run after each other, screaming at the top of their lungs. There weren't that many houses then and the local park was newly built and safe. She always experienced a feeling of contentment and nostalgia when those memories would come back to her heart. Most of the original neighbours had moved away when the area expanded and became too crowded, but it only meant that more people knew about the accident.
Gabriella believed that some were sincere in their condolences, often bringing baked goods and flowers to her house. But she also knew that for some, her father's death became a very fertile subject of gossip that went on for months, specially after her mother's affair was known and Elizabeth started to be seen with Henry. When the rumours of her father's love for hard liquor were confirmed, everyone and their uncles suddenly remembered his tumbles and falls on his way to their house, late at night.
"At least, he didn't suffer." Some would say. As if hitting a truck that wrecked the car into a mushy pile of metal and killed Oscar instantly because he was driving more than 180 miles per hour with an alcohol level of 0.10% in the blood, would be considered as 'not suffering'. But these comments, she didn't mind. It was the whispers, the pity stares and condescending looks that made her feel glad she didn't have to face these people everyday.
"At least, no one else died." Those bitter remarks were probably the hardest for her to digest. Through her depression, in her lowest point, it was all she could think about. The guilt that her father almost killed other innocent people in his carelessness. The guilt she was fighting for feeling relieved that no other family had to suffer the lost of a loved one. Then finally, came the anger. Not only against the fact that his father hadn't been able to control his drinking but also, that he decided to take the wheel after being so inebriated. If Elizabeth didn't humiliate him and push him out of control, he probably never would have drank so much to drown out the pain she knew he felt. It was all her mother's fault. Everything happened because of her. Even that stupid car was available for her father to drive because of her.
Gabriella's eyes shifted down from Taylor's bedroom window. The white and yellow demarcation lines on the streets were now faded, the swings were slowly swaying in an isolated Park. If she listened intently, she was sure she'd hear the creaking of the chains that needed to be oiled. There were no kids in the streets playing hopscotch; the shadows were only hers, vestiges of a time that was no more. The house she grew up in now belonged to a family of four and sometimes, when she would sleep over at her friend's, she could hear the kids across the walls, playing and laughing with each other late in the night. That very same room she would find refuge in to play her old guitar and that was now, only a memory of a place she used to call home.
The neighbourhood had changed ; her life had changed and no matter how much she wanted to cling to those happy memories, she realized she had to let them go. Accept that she too, needed to change. Try that 'healing' Troy was telling her about in the morning. Healing her mind and her soul was the same as healing a physical wound, she supposed. By simply giving it time. Barely two months ago, she wouldn't even imagine that she could heal. Was she really going to give it a try? Will she ever be able to look at her mother, one day, and not feel resentment? She turned swiftly as the door behind her opened and closed with haste.
"OK, dad is cool in case your mum should call," Taylor spoke just as quickly as she entered the room. "Did you decide which dress you're wearing yet?" She stopped right in the middle of the room to send her friend a murdering look. "Why did you remove the cucumbers from your eyes? Oh, trust me, you are not going out with that boy with red, puffy eyes!"
Gabriella sighed and glanced toward the two large pieces of cucumbers her friends had practically shoved onto her eyes a few minutes before. She tried to talk but her face hurt from being rigid by the dried sea salt and eucalyptus oil mask she had been blackmailed into wearing for the last hour.
"My eyes are fine," she managed to say without grimacing while her face felt like it was cracking into tiny pieces. She enjoyed being pampered for a date like every other girl but she was honestly a little too out of it to really care about the way she looked. "Besides, I already told you, Troy said nothing fancy. We'll probably go to a burger joint or something."
"If this guy buys you a burger on your first date with him, dump him," Taylor ordered in a firm tone while picking up a short black dress from the pile she had previously laid on the bed. She caught Gabriella's side glance and shrugged. "I'm just saying."
"We're not together, so there will no dumping."
"Huh-uh!" Taylor greeted her friend's hasty reply with derision but as Gabriella made it clear she was ignoring her, she continued. "But this is neither here nor there. You owe it to yourself to look fabulous tonight. I think this one will be perfect for you." She spun around on her heels to face Gabriella. "It's a bit baggy on me but it should hug your curves perfectly."
The cocktail dress was sumptuous with its strapless bustier and laces throughout. The sequins around the waist made it look very slim and the glitters running down the skirt, made it the perfect outfit for a night out. Gabriella didn't believe she had the type of cleavage the dress required but she could totally pull off the backside. The short first couple of times she met with Troy, she did believe she caught him glancing over at her butt. If she were right and the young man enjoyed her assets, he would definitely appreciate this dress.
She smiled, quite amused at the idea but decided to stick to her first decision. "Why can't I wear the jeans and t-shirt I brought with me?"
Gabriella immediately recognized the look of high exasperation in her friend's face as Taylor joined both her hands under her chin and spoke slowly.
"Lord, please give me patience, " she prayed under her breath before firing Gabriella with dark eyes. "Gabriela Montez, you've just lived through the worst year of your filtered and uninteresting life," she promptly and firmly raised her index finger up to stop her friend from interrupting. "Nuh-huh, I have a point, I promise." She crossed the space between them to hold Gabriel's hands in her own. "You've had the worst year you've ever known so far and I have to admit that at times, I was very worried I'd lose you and I'm so happy and grateful, that I could hear you laugh this morning. You're my best friend, Gabi, and it was killing me to see you so sad and miserable."
Gabriella lowered her head to hide her own tears. She had to admit she never took the time to think about the repercussions her plans to take her life would have on her friend. At that moment, she realized how selfish she was for only thinking about herself and not how much pain she'd probably leave behind. She raised her head as her friend continued to speak.
"I look at you now and there's something new in your eyes. A light that had been turned off inside you for far too long. And I don't care how it got there or even if this Troy guy is responsible for it, but it's there. So, we have to celebrate, if only for that." The emotional tone in her voice accentuated as she swiped the air with her hand, making her set of golden metal bracelets slide down her thin wrist. "Let's forget about last year, let's focus on tonight. It is not your birthday, not your father's death anniversary. Let's make this date a new beginning, let's give it a new meaning."
Her jewellery made countless clinking noises as the young girl gracefully moved on her long and chiselled ballerina legs. "I'll concede to you wearing something more casual," she continued. "But please, Gabi, let me do your hair and make-up, and go have fun. Let's make tonight a night to remember, but for happier, joyous reasons. Besides, as considerate and eager to be alone with you as he seemed to be, I'm pretty sure this dude will volunteer to show you a really good, sexy time."
She meant to look offended, or at least reprimanding, at the crude and suggestive hip thrusting the dark skinned girl was displaying, but a blushing smile crept on Gabriella's face instead. She was definitely more than willing to make the night, one to remember.
~.~
Troy felt quite overjoyed that the day was over. There's been a pounding in his skull the minute he was thrown head first, down on the mat during his afternoon wrestling training. But he could only blame himself. Even if Chad was considered to be his only equal on the team, he knew that his best friend would have never been able to take him by surprise the way he did. Not only did his inner fighter's pride took a hit, but he had to endure the coach's rant about his carelessness that would have cost him a fight in a real meet.
He was distracted. Had been the whole day while he was running against the clock. From hurrying to meet with his classmates to work on a project he had neglected to get ready for, costing him the entire morning arguing with them, then having to fix his flat tire himself after being told he would have to wait for twenty minutes before his roadside assistance could come. He didn't even bother changing before rushing to his training, which left him spend the whole day feeling dirty and uncomfortable. Because of the extra laps he had to do from losing to Chad, and the extra time spent in the sauna to get ready for his weight-ins the coming week for the national championships, it was already past five o'clock and he barely had time to take the long shower he needed.
He's had a long, draining day that probably left his sugar level low. He should have used his meter but after spending at least twenty minutes on deciding whether he should wear jeans or trousers – should he dress to impress?- the time had once again won against him and he had to hurry out the door if he wanted to make it on time. With Gabriella being at her friend's, it added a few more miles to what he had planned and knowing she had to go back to her mother's for ten, gave him a new sense of urgency. And that would be the reason he was sticking with and forced himself to believe. Not the fact that he was dying to see her again, hold her in his arms again or kiss her again. Make sure that the constant sadness in her eyes was replaced with a happy smile.
He was driving noticeably above the speed limit to meet with the girl whose been in the forefront of his mind all day long. All he could think about was the sleepless night he had spent with Gabriella catnapping on his chest. She mumbled in her sleep, calling out her mother or begging her father not to leave her. He felt helpless, not knowing what to do to calm her down, to make her feel better. Was there anything anyone could do anyway?
The right side of his jaw tightened as a response to his attempts at keeping his bad mood in check. The growl at the pit of his stomach was muted but he recognized it for being more than hunger for food. The tuna sandwich he chopped down on his way to practice was long gone and he was actually starving, impatient to devour a large plate of whatever meal he would find. But he knew that this kind of hunger consuming him, was for something different.
"Focus point," he murmured, the blue irises of his eyes hurriedly scanning his surrounding. "Trees, stupid long highway, more trees. Tall and colourful. Autumn. Green, orange." He continued quietly, as he's done countless times before. Keep his mind away from the dire, dangerous impulse, by keeping it busy. It was an exercise he now excelled in, a battle he'd learn to win countless of times before.
"Red. Red and pink. Lilies." His gaze shifted to the passenger seat next to him and a very light smile bordered his lips as he glanced over to the bouquet of mixed red, white and pink lilies he picked up for his beautiful date. "Little girl." The grip of his fingers relaxed on the wheel and his shoulders flattened while his grin grew ostensibly larger. "Smile. Make her smile. Boy, do I want to kiss you again." His hand reached down to the shift gear. "New focus point," he decided. "Get to Gabriella."
But instead of going faster, he was forced to slow down, and by the time he reached the cop hidden in the emergency junction of the highway, his speed was considerably lower. Having his license suspended again would do him no good. Especially if he wanted to be able to see his girl often. The thought surprised him and made him frown. It was a very random thought, yet, his heart raced in his chest. He actually liked the sound of it. A lot.
The ringing of his phone pulled him down from the cloud he seemed to find himself on, every time he'd think of Gabriella, but he impatiently threw the device across the passenger seat after he saw Ryan's face appear on the screen. And it was all it took for his bad mood to take over his good thoughts again. The young man had been trying to reach him countless of times before and although Troy used his busy day as an excuse to avoid talking to his sibling, that didn't stop Ryan from wanting to confide in him. Not to shout at his brother to regain control of himself when he was constantly whining about his feelings for Gabriella, was probably one of the hardest things he had to do. So now, he had decided simply not to answer the phone anymore.
It wasn't cowardice, but simply a matter of guilt. He was cheating on his brother and this time, the deafening pain at the pit of his stomach had nothing to do with the addictions he was fighting. Why couldn't he simply come clean with his brother? He and Gabriella were just friends- a friend he took an immense pleasure in kissing and thinking of as his girl. A friend who just became his focus point. Really, there was nothing wrong with any of that. Ryan would understand.
The kiss he and Gabriella shared flashed again in his mind and his knuckles tightening on the wheel when desire distilled in his blood and made it run faster to gather down south. He scoffed; he was reacting this way simply because he was sexually deprived and frustrated, is all. As long as he avoided kissing Gabriella again -or thinking so much about her or wanting to talk to her-all will be cool with his brother.
He reached for his stereo and turned the radio on. But quickly shut it down as the noise was making his migraine worse and causing him to be even more nervous. His phone was beeping, a reminder of his missed call. Picking it up again, he listened to the messages and let out an annoyed sigh, erasing Ryan's. He hesitated, thinking about calling Gabriella but he decided against it and put the phone back down. Self control. He was still working on it when it came to his temper but was near mastering it against his dark habits. He could easily exercise it with Gabriella. He laughed when he caught his own set of lies and chose to ignore them again.
When Taylor's father opened the door once again and welcomed him with an angry sneer and glare, Troy breathed in deeply. Surprised that he was however invited in, he tried to use some of the good manners his mother had given up on teaching him, by trying his hand at small talk.
"We got pretty good weather this year, don't you think?"
"I don't like you," the older man growled at him and Troy smiled while raising an amused brow. Most fathers didn't like him. But hey, some days, he didn't like himself either. There was just something about his scar that made him look like a dangerous son of a bitch, or so they say. "And I don't like the idea of little Gabi going out with you."
"I see."
"Do not interrupt me, kid."
The tall, yet well endowed, man took a step forward and crossed his arms against his chest to what Troy guessed, would make him look menacing and the young man, kept his lips sealed and glanced toward the staircase leading to Taylor's room where he was told Gabriella was finishing getting ready. Wouldn't it be swell is she appeared now and spared him the routine sermon of a worried father? If he had to survive through a date cliché, he'd rather it'd be him admiring Gabriella in a pretty dress while she walked down the stairs.
But no such luck; the stairs remained empty. His right hand held on to his left wrist while his fingers tightened on the bouquet of flowers he was holding. His efforts to look defenceless and slightly afraid must have worked as the older man's voice somewhat softened as he continued talking.
"I've known Gabriella since the day her father brought her from the hospital and was proudly showing her around in the whole neighbourhood. Quite a hair she had on her head and a good solid pair of lungs to go with her stubborn temper." Troy could not help but mirror the man's smile. "You could hear her cry from way across the street when she was determined to get her way. And pretty smart too. Won all kinds of medals at school and stuff. Got that from her daddy."
But the smile was quickly replaced by sadness. "The day her father died really did a number on her and I don't agree with her mother's every decision, and taking her away like that, but I try not to make it my business. But I am still the closest thing she has for a father and I'll be damned before I let you break her heart."
It was a speech about caring and protecting Gabriella and to that, Troy could relate as he was conscious of his own deep need to know the young girl was happy, that went beyond his physical desire to be with her. He had to admit he felt somewhat relieved to know that Gabriella still had some type of father figure watching over her.
"No need to damn yourself, Sir. I have no desire of breaking her heart."
"We'll see about that. Where are you taking her?"
"I thought I heard voices." Troy's head swiftly turned around when Taylor's excited voice chimed in. "Daddy, are you trying to scare that poor boy again?" Her long maxi dress seemed to float around her as she stood next to her father to grab his hand in hers while holding what seemed like a half eaten sandwich in the other one. "Don't worry, Troy, he did that same number on my boyfriend and now, they're best buds, aren't you, daddy?"
Her father growled again. "I thought you girls were upstairs."
"Nope, in the kitchen. Nobody's buying me diner tonight so I gotta provide for myself," Taylor replied with a happy glint in her eyes and, showing off the rest of her sandwich, took a bite. "Aw, lilies! They're her favourites. Good start, dude. Not bad at all."
Troy allowed a small smile to appear at the corner of his lips. But it was more of exasperation than of enjoyment. If only the evening could actually start. He kept his voice low and calm. "Glad you approve. Where's Gabriella?"
"I'm right here."
Maybe it was his heightened nerves, or perhaps the accumulation of his bad day that rendered his reflexes numb, and the reason why he didn't hear her coming to stand behind him. But the minute his eyes shifted on Gabriella, both his feet were floored to the ground and his breath got caught in his throat as his heart ricocheted in his chest. It was in that exact moment that he knew, that this beautiful girl smiling so adorably at him, had not only became his only focus point, but would also turn his world upside down.