Disclaimer: I don't own Sherlock and all rights belong to the BBC.

"Stop complaining about the toilets being locked." Sherlock grumbled for the fifteenth time after Holly had complained about the toilets being locked for the twenty-third time in the past five minutes. Right before Holly was going to open her mouth to complain again, Sherlock cut her off before the words could come out of her mouth. "I am not in control of the toilets and it is not my fault they are locked, and before you say something Anderson, I recommend you to not say it or I will be very tempted to strangle you with my scarf."

Sherlock was going to add more to his threat when he felt a small fist hit his leg. "We do not hurt friends!" Holly shouted. "If you kept hurting friends you are going to be lonely, as it makes people not like you. And killing people doesn't make people like you, it just makes them dead."

Sherlock stood and stared at the girl after her last statement. Sherlock spent the time wondering how lonely he could be from all the times he has insulted people in the past. He couldn't be lonely, he thought as even though he had said some unpleasant things to John in the past, John stayed unlike most people. What did John want from him in return? Was John really his friend? Sherlock questioned. Not knowing what to think anymore, he thought that he would text John as John knew lots of things even though he was short.

Are we friends? –SH

Of course, I thought that you would know that. Is there any reason that you are asking about our friendship? –JW

Someone just said something and it made me think. –SH

I know that it might be near impossible for you, but can't you stop thinking for once? As it gives you idiotic thoughts about things. –JW

My thoughts are not stupid. –SH

Last week you thought that Mrs Hudson was trying to poison you. –JW

There was plenty of evidence to suggest that she was. She spent the week making more cakes and other baked goods and she made my tea in the wrong mug. –SH

It was just a different mug and nothing else. Mrs Hudson would never harm or hurt you in any way and you know that. –JW

Her husband was in a gang and was a drug lord. If that doesn't scream danger to you, what does? –SH

Usually it is the smoke alarm that screams danger. Especially if you are doing an experiment involving flames. – JW

The experiments with the flames are the more tame experiments. I have done a lot more dangerous experiments. Do you remember the one with the peacock? –SH

Of course I remember the bloody peacock! I thought we promised to never talk about the peacock! –JW

The bird was just lonely. Anyway you didn't complain about the experiment with the cow in the flat or the one with the nun. –SH

The nun or the goat didn't do what the peacock did to me. I visited my therapist after the peacock incident. –JW

Stop being such a drama queen; you are almost ready to get your Oscar. –SH

You can talk. At least I don't shoot a gun when I get bored. –JW

Instead you shot it at other men, when you were having a 'bad day.' –SH

Sherlock , you are making me have a bad day right now. When are you going to come home with the milk? And I have seen what you have done to the telly and you are buying a new one. –JW

I was hoping that you wouldn't find out about the telly. –SH

Sherlock, there is a remote sticking out of the screen. I think I was going to notice. How am I going to watch 'Antiques Roadshow' now? –JW

You know that program is complete and utter rubbish. Why don't you do an experiment. I have some sheep hearts you can experiment on if you want. –SH

I want to watch my crap telly. How about you do an experiment? It is called: how long will Sherlock survive in the flat for if he doesn't get the bloody milk? –JW

I take it that you are having a bit of a bad day. –SH

No, I am perfectly happy. –JW

Is that sarcasm as it is rather hard to identify over text? –SH

Of course it is sarcasm! For being a genius you are an idiot sometimes. –JW

I am not an idiot; you don't recognise my genius most of the time. -SH

So is going around with no eye brows for two months your genius? Mrs Hudson had to draw them on for me! –JW

John, it is not my fault that you decided to put your face near that acid. –SH

I didn't put my face near that acid, you threw the acid at my face. I could have gone blind. –JW

But you didn't, and that is all what matters. Is there any other areas would you prefer me to throw acid at? –SH

None. And Sherlock next time you think that it would be a good idea to experiment on me, don't think about it as I will shave your head when you are sleeping. You have my word on it. –JW

Deciding that he would rather have his beautiful hair stands remain on his scalp, Sherlock thought it would be a good time to stop texting John and think of ways to never sleep again. Sherlock then realized how angry and threating John could be even though he was rather short. Sherlock thought that maybe John was the concentrated force of anger that was a lot more powerful than any other source of anger.

Looking up from his phone and protectively running a hand through his hair just to make sure that it would stay in his head, he had realized that he was standing alone in the aisle. Anderson must have taken the children when he was busy texting. Sherlock slapped his hand against his forehead and he considered taking an IQ test to see if his intelligence level had dropped in all of the time he had spent in the shop, as his last thought was the most basic and obvious thought that he had ever experienced in his lifetime.

Maybe he could try and get out of the shop and he could leave Anderson to sort out of the rest of his mess and hopefully he could spend the rest of the night correcting people on science chatrooms that he wasn't banned from - yet.

Feeling that his idea was one that John would define as being brilliant or fantastic, Sherlock decided that he would carry out his idea. Before he could think about what he would actually do. The only idea he could think of was to climb out of the bathroom window and leave the shop. He thought about that one girl did that to him on one of those dull dates Mycroft had set up for him. The dates were on Mummy's request as she wanted to have grandchildren before she turned sixty-five.

Before he could think about how he could break into the bathroom to escape from the shop. He felt a nudging in his mind and he looked on his shoulder and he noticed the imagery shoulder angel and devil both fighting with each other. The shoulder angel was an image of John in one of his jumpers carrying a harp and a gold loop was on top of his head. As Sherlock looked to the devil on his shoulder, he realized that it was a version" of Moriarty with red horns on his head and a tail who was holding a trident.

"Sherlock be nice. Don't do that to Anderson." Shoulder John said. "He is a good person even though he is an idiot sometimes."

"Sherlock, do you remember when he told everyone at the yard about how you just made everything up?" Shoulder Moriarty asked. "I think to make things fair, you should just leave."

"Remember all the things that you have said or done to Anderson." Shoulder John urged while sending the miniature Moriarty. "You have been unpleasant to Anderson before, and there was that time you pushed him off that bridge and he almost drowned."

"But Anderson messed up my case files and he said that John and I were doing things together." Sherlock answered to his shoulder. "Really I was doing Lestrade a favor."

Shoulder Moriarty giggled and rubbed his hands together. "So by leaving him you are doing the right thing. You are doing something that is not going to cause him harm and it is not like you are going to turn him into shoes and walk in him."

"Sherlock you are a good man and you want to stay a good man, don't you?" Shoulder John asked. "If you don't want to do this for yourself do it for John, he doesn't want you do be a bad person. And if you do what the devil says, John will leave you and then you will be alone."

"If you are going to call me by my name, make sure that you use the full one." Shoulder Moriarty smirked. "It is not just the devil, it is 'The Sexy Devil' and don't you forget it. Also honey, I look good in horns."

After Shoulder Moriarty's last comment, his shoulder companions had decided to fight, and Sherlock was left in complete confusion about what to do. He could text John but it would be near impossible not to imagine him without having wings or a halo.

Deciding to just flip a coin to make his decision for him, Sherlock dove into his pocket and pulled out an old one penny that he kept in his pocket for some reason. After inspecting the coin for a few moments and figuring out the odds of getting the side of the coin he desired. He figured that he would make heads for doing what Shoulder John wanted as angels had heads and the other side would be for shoulder Moriarty.

After flipping the coin several times to make sure he got the result he wanted, which was do what Shoulder Moriarty wanted. Sherlock thought that the only way he could leave was by digging a hole through the ground with a tea-spoon or to get a plush dog toy and pretend it was his dog. Sherlock smirked in spite of himself, why couldn't he think of that in the first place?

Deciding that was probably the best through that he had in a long time and it should go in the room in his mind palace called 'The room of really good ideas.' Sherlock decided to get a toy dog and fake insanity and then he would be out of the shop before John could say 'brilliant'.

As he pulled out his phone to call his brother for a use of his car, Sherlock went into his pocket to pull his driver licence out so that he could prove to his brother that he had one (as Mycroft liked to not believe that his brother had actually acquired a driver licence legally, instead of the fake one he had used for ten years.) Sherlock noticed that is pocket felt lighter and less bulky. As he shoved his hand further in the pocket he realized that his wallet was gone and in its place was a bit of paper that said:

'If you want your wallet, actually do something, instead of flouncing about the shop like an idiot. Find us when you are not going to act like a know it all. – Love Anderson.

P.s. I don't love you, I am just trying to mock you.'

Sherlock rolled his eyes at the note as he crumbled it up and threw it on the ground. Anderson was officially the most stupid person he had met, and that was a difficult place to get as to Sherlock, most people were idiots.

As he was going to start looking for Anderson and for his wallet, his phone vibrated again and it was from Anderson.

I might have a slight problem. –PA

What is it? –SH

I may have lost the dog by accident. –PA

After reading his last message Sherlock let out a groan and mumbled something about the level of intelligence in society being lowered every second when he typed out his reply of:

You are an idiot. –SH

And to Sherlock's utter surprise he got a reply back from Anderson. Instead of his meaningless threats and pointless insults he got something else. When he got the message he felt he could faint as Anderson had finial agreed with him on something.

I know that I am an idiot. –PA

Was the reply he got from Anderson and to Sherlock it felt like he had won a great reward. What was next? Anderson admitting that he was uneducated? Or Anderson talking about his love life? Sherlock knew that he would have to get Anderson's confessions about those. deciding he would just stay for that, Sherlock made his way through the shops and he felt he could hear Shoulder John congratulating him on his choice.