I lay on my bed idly, after the whole thing that went down in school I immediately requested to go home. Principal Brown understood of course, but he wanted me to get a check up from the nurse to which I politely decline. I was in a horrible mood and the last thing I want is someone poking needles in me. Anyway, the moment I went back home, I just flopped onto my bed and stared at the ceiling above me. I've realized that I have sat on my bed for half an hour in silence, replaying the death of Zach in my mind again and again. I always thought he was just another asshole and arrogant version of me, (Which is still true) but that fight proved something else. He proved that he was in a way, more insane version of me yet more pure than me, quite the contradiction I know, but that's the truth, I think.
It was at the moment that I didn't know what to think of anymore, I was convinced somehow that Penny would still end up with 'me' should Zach's alter ego took over 'me'. The look on Zach's face as he glared ice cold daggers at me drive a deep knife to my heart. I killed him, a murderer, a thief who stole the life of someone who could have treated their beloved better than me and most importantly a trash of society that has taboo feelings for his own mother. That was the worst one, and perhaps the only reason Zach needed just to replace in an instant. I didn't know how these 'feelings' started, hell I don't think I ever will. Was it really desperation? The lost of Penny was so painful that I used my own mother as a substitute? Should I separate myself from her and take the time to calm myself down? What would Zach do? How did Zach feel when he saw our little interactions, did he screamed in anger and in disgust? Stupid Gumball, of course he did. No wonder he hates me so much, I don't blame him at all. Heh, and I thought that I was responsible and a sensible young man.
What a joke.
My life is a joke.
Yay.
"Gumball you in there?" Hearing the wavering and concerned voice of Darwin brought me back to my sad reality, I don't even know if I could face him or anyone in fact. What should I do? What could I do anyway? Surely he wants to know about everything. My mind is still in a foggy like state, questions keep piling up on top of another. Who's the voice? Why did he sound so familiar? What in the world is that crystal? If Zach 'defeats' me does that mean his jealousy would be gone and become a better person? (Well become more tolerant I suppose)
"Gumball please talk to us, we want to help." I sighed in despair, the door knob kept turning left to right, but alas the door won't open, courtesy by yours truly mind you. I find it hard to talk, to breath even. So many emotions and question overwhelmed me, I know it's 'healthy' to share with others but after what happened, no one can know. My mind was in a state of turmoil, I really don't know what should I do. Back then I could just ask other people for help, mom especially, but now I have no one to turn to. No one at all.
Unless of course, I find out who's the guy behind the voice. A guy for sure, and he did say he was an old man. He knows me well, heck knows everything about me. I don't think I know some old man who was so close to me that he knew about my feelings, memories and struggles. However I'm pretty sure his the one guy I can burst my bubble to, worst still his voice sounded so digitalized. (Is that even a word?) Is he some hacker or something?
"I will be out in a minute!" I shouted across the door, deciding seeing them would be the best course of action, I took a deep breath and walked towards my room door, not ready to face the emotional family talk that awaits me. Nodding to myself unconsciously, I unlock the door knob and in an instant, Darwin, Anais and dad just fell on top of me. How nice.
"Ouch." Chuckling just slight, I was relieved when I saw Anais was lying on top of dad, Darwin however wasn't so lucky.
"M-Mr dad you are squashing me!" Darwin flapped his hands about which immediately drew dad's slow reaction.
"Oops sorry son!" I reached out my hands and helped Darwin up, he beamed a smile at me as he patted my back. I could tell he wanted to give me a bro hug but he hesitated, probably because he knows that I don't need it, not now anyway.
"So Gumball!? Are you feeling alright son? Do you want anything?" I scratched my cheek, dad was not too good at sensitive and delicate conversations such as these, you could tell he was nervous when he shows his set of white teeth while standing straight but deep down, it makes me somewhat happy that he is giving an effort to cheer me up.
"Yeah I'm fine, just some stuff I have to go through." Anais's split second of her frowning didn't slip from the corner of my eyes, was it guilt or was it pity? I have many question to ask her, so many.
"Well I hope you can get through it, if you want we could talk it out?" Darwin nodded at dad's words, I stared at dad and nodded slowly. That nod wasn't just 'yeah sure whatever you say' nod, rather I would really want to talk it out.
"That would be nice I suppose... guys is it okay if I talk to Anais alone?" Drawing surprised looks from dad and Darwin, they all just nodded at me and gave Anais a glance before they left the room in silence.
"Sure." Dad's tone was full of curiousness and uneasiness as he poked his head from my door before closing it. Silence surrounded the room the moment dad and Darwin left, Anais looked at me, her eyes upturned as she struggled her words out.
'She knew I wanted to talk about it.' She looks like she has been practicing her lines, on how to explain it to me and what not. She prepared for this conversation but couldn't get a word out right.
I walked towards and knelt before her, like a knight before his princess.
"Anais..." I stroke the back of her hair gently as I gave her my usual warm smile that I always gave her. It's important to be generous of your smile at times like this you know?
"Gumball... I- did Zach?" My stomach churned, seems like she knew what happened to Zach or at least knew the event that took place during my "coma inducing crystal". If you can even call that now.
"Yeah, h-he is in a better place now..." That was what I wanted to believe, I really didn't know did Zach went to heaven or just simply faded away from existence, I was too tired and emotionally drained to come to a conclusion.
Anais bit her lower lip, she wrapped her little arms around my neck as her hands reached my rather long hair, ruffling it gently like how mom use to do it to us when we were younger to calm us down. (Which worked in all honesty.)
I knelt there for a good whole minute, letting her ruffled my hair to her heart's content. Meanwhile, my poor knee caps were hurting but of course I didn't said anything to ruin the mood. Last thing I want to do is something awkward that can set the conversation off. (Besides my pride is at stake here ;)
"Anais the crystal, what does it actually do?" Out of nowhere, catching her and myself off guard, my mouth move on it's own. Perhaps some part of my brain just want answers to the burning questions I have in mind and stop delaying the conversation. In all honesty though, I didn't want this conversation to last long, I wanted to end it as soon as possible. So that we all can be a family again. I want to see Anais smile, grow and blossom, get married happily and a bunch of kids and-.
Damn, mom is right, I do sound like an old man.
I felt Anais shuddered, she hesitantly let go of me and turned the other direction, not wanting to look at me straight in the eye for this talk. Admittedly, there was an ache in my heart when she did so.
"No one was suppose to use it, it says so on the book." Her voice merely above a whisper, I finally sat on the floor and waited for her to continue, I rubbed my knee caps unconsciously while looking at her, or the back of her head so to speak.
"I don't know the origins of the crystal, all I know that it is extremely potent and dangerous to whoever cut themselves with it, transporting the victim to a parallel universe of distortion, where laws of physics, time, matter and logic seize to exist-" Woah words that I do not understand just came flying at my face.
"Sounds like my kind of place." I just have to interrupt it, I mean she sounded so serious about the topic, might as well lighten up the mood. I mean I understand what was she saying anyway. (Half of it, is still call understanding)
Anais however felt a little annoyed by my interruption, she looked at me with an deadpan expression with her hands on her hips. I actually interrupted her so that she can face me while giving me that look, I know I know, I'm smart right? Even if she wasn't wearing a smile, at least she was looking at me.
I gave her a nervous smile that always caused her to roll her eyes, which unfortunately didn't happen this time.
"Gumball when you fought Zach... did anything weird happen?" I lowered my head as my gaze landed on the floor, would she even believe me that I just fought Zach using some powers that is not sciency at all?
Probably.
"Well if you count top 10 anime fight scenes happening between Zach and I then, yeah." I tried my best to make it sound as casual as possible, not wanting her to know that I was very distress over the whole ordeal and the aftermath of it, the traumatizing pain I experience still lingers now.
Anais however, being the sharp one as she is caught my facade. She bit her lower lip and I gulped, her biting her lower lip means she is suffering from an emotional roller coaster which also leads to-
"Gumball please don't do that- didn't you tell me to express myself to you? Why can't you do the same to me? I will listen every word you say! You can let it all out! I won't judge, please Gumball stop acting that it was nothing and tell me the truth, please!" Her piercing scream and tears flowing out from her eyes that broke down what little resistance in me, tears rolled down from my eyes as I dropped the act. Seeing her cry always caused me to tear up. Without hesitation, Anais came crashing towards my arms as we both wept.
We didn't need to say anything as our silence says it all, we sat there for god knows how long and let our presence comfort each other. I tucked a lock behind her ear and kissed her forehead as we cuddled along. There were words that stopped at the tip of mouth, they just won't come out. We both knew that both of us won't last long in the conversation, somehow, just somehow we knew. Those burning questions in my mind earlier was doused by my tears, very poetic I know.
Moving my head just slightly, I looked at the window of my room, twilight approaches and the birds were no where to be seen in the skies. How long did we 'talk'? Anais sniffling stopped as I heard a sigh from her. Drawing my attention, I turned towards her as she gave me smile.
"Gumball..." Her bashful blush on her face really made me want to hug her and never let her go.
"Shh it's okay Anais... thank you for everything." Earning a nod from her, I rubbed the back of her neck soothingly before I leaned my forehead towards her's, instincts told me that this will make everything better, physical warmth and comfort that is. She didn't need to say anything to make me feel better, her comforting me with her presence was just enough.
"You're w-welcome." I could tell from Anais' voice that she was really comfortable and in content. Deciding not too get sentimental and touchy for pride sake, I gently pry off Anais off my lap and knelt before her, grasping her hands gently.
"Well I need to change my shirt first if you don't mind." Gesturing to my tear stained shirt, Anais nodded as she shyly hopped onto my bed and decided to get cozy inside my covers. Searching around for any clean shirts left on my floor, I took a quick glance at Anais who was snuggling in my blanket, she gave me a cheeky grin and a sigh as she close her eyes. Hastily I changed my shirt and combed my messy hair, I didn't want to look like a wreck in front of family.
"Anais, let's go wash our faces okay?" Not wanting to leave any evidence of us crying, I opened the room door and looked at Anais who rubbed her eyes before nodded absentmindedly.
"Okay." She yawned out loud and hopped of my bed, as we went into the bathroom, I looked at the mirror and saw the difference in our heights. Deciding to poke some fun out of her, I use my hand and tapped her head before leveling to my own head. Anais shot me a unreadable look before jumping onto me as she wrapped her arms around my neck.
"Ugh hey! Anais!" my knees wobbled when she jumped onto me.
"I think I look pretty tall." Anais giggled slightly as her head was taller than mine, my arms took hold of her legs and maintained perfect balance. Tried to anyway.
"Yeah you are pretty heavy as well." My arms were wobbling like jelly.
"No I'm not, I mean look at your arms! Their like brittle sticks. You should work out more." Blushing slightly in embarrassment of my own weakness, I looked at the mirror before us and saw our reflection. Anais decided to take the opportunity and lay her head chin on top of my head and hugged me tighter. She must have noticed my longing gaze on the mirror.
"Gumball you're okay?" Her wavering voice of concern caused me to nod lightly.
"Yeah, I just, I know it sounds cheesy but I hope we can stay like this forever." Anais smiled and whispered to my ear.
"Me too." She give me a peck on the cheek to comfort me, much to my surprise.
Gumball and Anais walked downstairs together with Gumball holding Anais's hand. He peeked around the living room and saw the rest of his family sitting on the dining table, waiting for them. Including Nicole who wore a worried expression as she talked to Darwin.
'Crap this is going to be very awkward ." Thinking of his next move, he turned to Anais who just nodded with a smile. Sighing at the inevitable, Gumball walked to the dining table and gave a wave with Anais trailing behind him.
"Hi guys." Hi guys? Seriously? Gumball was cursing at what he just said.
'Why can't I say something casual and not make a joke out of it?' Gumball really wanted to smack himself in the face. Catching the family off guard, Nicole was the first one to recover and speak.
"Gumball, Anais... why don't we have dinner?" Nicole's tone was soft, she tied her hair to her usual hairstyle as she gave somewhat a nervous smile. Gumball felt his heart beat slightly faster just by the sight of her.
"Sure." Anais only nodded with response and sat on her chair, she receive a few glances from Richard and Darwin that made her somewhat uncomfortable. Gumball decided to do something to diffuse the situation, he took some spaghetti and fiddle around the TV remote, increasing the volume to break the awkward silence in the room.
"I wonder what is on tonight." Receiving no replies, Gumball looked at his mom. She simply lowered her eyes and tighten her fists.
'I'm not getting out of this one.' Being impatient, Darwin snatched the TV remote and turn off the TV while slamming the table.
"That is it Gumball! I'm tired of this, I want to know the truth of what happened today! Now!" Squinting his eyes, Darwin's grip on the table was tight.
"Dude calm down, you are scaring Anais." Gumball spoke calmly as he stared at his brother. Grumbling to himself, Darwin sat back down and crossed his arms. He looked at Anais who was indeed frightened.
"I know all of you are worried and would want to know what happened, but trust me, I'm fine. As for the details, I'm not so comfortable sharing with all of you."
"But you told Anais?!" Darwin's outburst earned a spook from Anais and a glare from Gumball. A glare that no one has ever seen he use on Darwin.
"Darwin calm down dude, you don't need to raise your voice like that." Gumball's stern voice caused Darwin to instantly to be quiet.
"But why tell Anais and not us? We are family too..." Darwin trailed off with sadness, feeling betrayed that Gumball won't fill him in of the problems and issues he faced. Gumball sighed and leaned onto his chair.
"It's not that I don't trust you guys, it's just that Anais knows somethings I should know, that's why I tell her." Feeling dissatisfied by Gumball's answer, Nicole cleared her throat and stared at him sternly.
"And what did you find out?" Gumball noticed the alteration in his mother's tone, Gumball knew that one little slip would make her angry and she was already impatient.
"Things that... change my life." Not wanting to disclose further information, Gumball felt the rest of his family was too pushy for him to answer them. Feeling uncomfortable by the attention he was receiving, Gumball finished his spaghetti with one gulp and stood up.
"I'm going upstairs." Gumball still not looking at his beautiful mother, he was now painfully aware why he was so edgy.
'Mom...' Gumball cursed internally on his late realization, why did he has to be so weird?
"Wah but you only took a small portion!" Richard spoke loudly, not that he mind that Gumball ate only a little, that means more spaghetti for him!
"I'm not hungry." His tone was calm yet cold, he knew that. He glanced at Anais, she was eating her food slowly as her eyes met his.
'Maybe I should get Anais out of here, last thing I want is mom, Darwin and dad to corner her and ask her questions.' Giving her eye contact, Anais somehow understood what Gumball meant and finished her food rather quickly. In a calm tone, Anais gave her thanks to her mother for the food and hopped next to Gumball.
"Anais you going upstairs too?" Gumball was painfully aware of his mother tone, she was at her wits end and Gumball knew that he is next to a ticking time bomb. Anais only nodded at her mother's words, feeling some pressure against her head with Darwin peering hard at her.
'Gumball Watterson, she just want to know what happened to you and comfort you, why can't you just tell her? Didn't you want to be closer to her?' Swearing rudely to his conscience regarding the last part, Gumball grabbed Anais's hand and walked hastily upstairs. Entering Anais's room and locking it tight, Gumball led Anais to her bed and sat next to her, his head buried into his hands.
"God I just can't tell them Anais... I just-" Feeling a pair of comfortable and warm arms wrapping around him, he raised his head and saw Anais hugging him.
"I know... it's not something easy to tell, besides we didn't do a lot of talking too." Gumball only nodded, it was true anyway, sometimes silence is golden.
"Yeah... I think I just need a shoulder to cry on and to lean on, I'm glad it's you." Anais's felt her cheek turned red, she was flattered at the thought her brother putting so much trust into her.
"You're welcome Gumball." Counting to himself at how many times that this exact scenario happened for the past few hours, a part of him wondered about how he would deal with the rest of his family, most importantly his mother.
'Mom... I- don't love her like that right?' Still contemplating of his feelings for Nicole, Gumball gripped his fists tight, Gumball fought against thoughts of him french kissing Nicole with his hands on her thighs. He eagerly explore her mouth with his tongue as he rubbed her thighs-
"Damn it Gumball stop!." Shouting loudly, he quickly realized his mistake and turned to Anais who was shocked to her core by her brother's sudden outburst.
"Anais I'm so sorry, I didn't mean that to happen." Apologizing quickly with his head lowered, Gumball shuffled closer to his sister and placed his arm around her.
"Gumball is-" Anais squeaked out, a bit scared of her brother's sudden outburst again.
"No, everything is not okay. Anais I'm not so sure should I tell you this but... it may be the end of our relationship and I don't want that and-" Gumball widened his eyes, where did those words came from? He had no intention of sharing his sick perverted thoughts to her, or anyone! Why then did he-
'Shit, why did I say that!' Gumball felt Anais hands around on his, she beamed him a smile and nodded.
"You can tell me anything Gumball, it can't be that bad can't it?" Oh but it is and Gumball knew it.
'What do I say to her? I can't just said it was nothing, she won't believe me and would scar our relationship.' Thinking the pros and cons, Gumball knew for a fact that his sister won't hurt him or at least go against him intentionally. He cursed internally, trying to wrap his head around the scenario.
'Gumball you came this far, just tell her. Everything would be okay, who knows? Maybe she can help you out.' Part of him reassured him, but the last part. Help him out? In what way?
'Fuck Gumball don't think your own sister would help you get together with your own mom!' The thoughts inside his mind were killing him what's left of his morals slowly.
"Gumball, I promise I won't judge you, at least I try not too. I will help you in anyway I can, you know that right." Whispering softly to him, Anais was confident of herself that she won't be too crude on Gumball, whatever it is she would help him out, she owe him that much.
"Promise?" Anais eyes gleamed, she nodded enthusiastically as she rubbed his arm in a comforting manner. Sighing at his own demise, he leaned his cheek against Anais's shoulder and felt a lot of hesitation in his own voice. He could do this, he can trust Anais. Right?
"Anais, I- I think I have feelings for mom."