Chapter 6: Wishes
(Bella POV)
There isn't much left for me to think about but, still, in some part of my subconscious. I know there is something to contemplate. A spark of distant memories, buried away in here, waiting for their rediscovery. I'm growing weaker; my energy is dissolving into the tubes and being flushed from my system. Millions of those important seconds, slipping away with each breath. Even he has no hope, not an inkling of optimistic longing. Ithought – it's incredibly naïve, I know – that if anyone would have some faith in me, it would be him. I feel so stupid now; of course I know it's too much to ask, considering the state I'm in. You can't ask someone to trust you, trust your judgement, when it has been so wrong in the past.
I'm almost glad that the unavoidable decision will be made without my input because they know what's best for me, even if I don't even know it myself any more. Peacefully fading away from the world into the darkness seems better than facing the reality of my seemingly pathetic life as it flashes before my eyes in a cliché of impending doom.
As if I need reminding.
(Edward POV)
"I wish I could stay, but then, I wish for much impossibility in this life. A life I share with you, my love. And, I so dearly want to keep it that way - as much as your charts protest."
I pause to stroke her cold cheek, but fear overrides this action, as the pulsating blood winds through the veins protruding from her neck and I quiver, my throat blazing.
I frantically gasp, and freeze as familiar footsteps prance through room accompanied with an assortment of irritatingly cheerful thoughts. She sees my unmoving figure and tuts disapprovingly as I sink back into the plastic chair.
"Edward." She chirps, gazing at me with disappointment.
I look at the scuffed floor. She knows I can't waste time; she knew this was the final goodbye before I sighs.
When was your last meal? Her thoughts flicker as she searches through.
"Leave it Alice." I say.
It was no use; she persists and finds the day exactly, sighing again. There is an unfamiliar silence and Alice staggers onto the bed as I grasp her arm, diverting her before she falls onto Bella.
"What? What have you seen?" I demand, but see her eyes are blank and steady her until she blinks repeatedly. She gulps her mind rapidly flicking through a series of images too fast to focus on, before straightening up.
"You need to drink, Edward." She says sternly, shaking my hold of her arm
"I know, but I," I say, she holds her hand to my mouth.
"You need your strength if you are to find her," She states.
"When I find her." I correct and she smiles encouragingly.
"Edward?" She asks expectantly.
She must know that there is no chance I will leave Bella's side to drink when there is a murderous vampire rampaging nearby. Alice clears her throat and I glance at her firm expression – she knows I haven't made the decision to quench my thirst yet, and the anticipation is frustrating her.
Edward, I am not stupid.
"I know." I smirk. She rolls her eyes.
I can't wait here forever.
I sigh, defeated. "Fine. I'll drink on the way."
She nods, pleased with the certainty of my statement.
"Remember, Edward, I'll know if you don't."
She smiles angelically and dances from the room. I sometimes wish my sister was not so hard to convince. I hear her drive down the darkening road and I close the pale curtains, hiding the night's shadows from Bella.
"Where was I? Oh yes, I remember now. Your vitals, Miss Swan, need a bit more effort." I chuckle, imagining her protesting in a huff of adorable frustration. "Don't worry, my darling, I'm just joking with you." I say, but feel automatically embarrassed by this statement – she probably can't hear me at all.
I glance cautiously at the pile of funeral care cuttings from Charlie's newspaper with red scrawls, helpfully penned by Renee as they discussed Bella's future. It feels like I am being unfaithful to Bella, just looking at them makes my stomach churn. I should shred them immediately – we won't require any of their services – but some distant part of my conscience stops me. One question hangs despondently in my head as I sprint from the hospital into the night. What if this is the end?
'The course of true love never did run smooth'
A Midsummer Night's Dream
With her bleeding heart ablaze with the fulfilling promise of demented vengeance the figure tore the plug from the wall with such vigour the socket flickered with electricity. As she dove back through the broken window, throwing the limp body carelessly onto her shoulder, glass shards soared through the violent mist, the entangled debris glistening amongst the fiery mass of crimson locks flying behind her shadowy silhouette. Casting a final malicious glance at the path of devastation behind her, she cackled spitefully and vanished into the threatening shadows.
As the moonlight slashed grimly into the barren room, wires crackling furiously, coloured tubes leaking fluids onto the bloodstained linen, tattered curtains trembling in the wind through the broken pane… a machine emitting a high pitched tone echoed menacingly into the silent corridor.
(Bella POV)
For once I am glad I'm not 'awake', but the constant threat that I might emerge from this coma at any moment is more terrifying than my earlier worries of dying in my sleep. There are so many unfamiliar noises that startle me every minute, but the worst sound is the most familiar; her voice. She keeps talking to me as though I am her hostage, forced into this constant silence, and I have a strange feeling she has duck-taped my mouth to be sure I am quiet. It is like she knows something I don't, which is even more stressful as I don't even know what she is capable of doing.
I wish Edward had never left so that I would be more prepared for this confrontation with someone as powerful as her. I wish Edward were here, protecting me from her impending torture.
"James was utterly magnificent – far more so than your petty, meaningless, little, schoolgirl crush. He would be here if he cared about you, wouldn't he?" She spat.
You're right, I feel like crying out. I'm useless, draining them of all their time.
"But you could never understand the full pain I'm going through, you're just a child. You have no idea how much it hurts every single day, NO IDEA!" She shrieked.
She pacing around me now, smashing anything she can get her hands on. I keep hearing objects soar past my head. If the situation were reversed, knowing my sporting abilities she'd be knocked out again as soon as she awoke.
"He should suffer as much as I have to. And this is where you come in." She hisses, sounding almost gleeful. "You shall die for James. Your precious Edward shall feel what I feel, know my pain for himself. And I shall watch and laugh as he cries over your weak, broken little body, as he mourns the loss of your pitiful life."
No! Please! I'm begging you! I shout, but no sound comes out – disappointing, but it's not like I was expecting anything to happen. It feels like I'll be stuck in this half of the world forever. I lie and wait for her threats to come true.
(Alice POV)
Six hours earlier.
"He's not going to drink. Honestly, I don't know why I bother." I announce, Jasper smiles and gently kisses my forehead.
"It's because you're so wonderful, my darling." he whispers.
"I wouldn't worry too much, he knows how I hate it when he's snappy and that's only when he misses his meals. He'll be golden before he returns." Esme reassures me. I look at her doubtfully, but Jasper senses my unease, and I suddenly forget about it.
"I can't avoid it, I haven't seen anything yet and it's disconcerting. I need to see something, anything will do, just... something!"
"And you will Alice. But until then, I am going to make you feel better by any means - and you won't be able to stop me," He grins. I sink my head into his shoulder, drawing circles with my fingertips on his collarbone. I hope everything is okay, Edward. I think, just in case.
"I had a vision." I say quietly, the room falls silent. Esme looks at me expectantly.
"It was about Edward, but it was difficult to make out – everything was blurring and it faded too fast to be a definite prophecy." I pause as Jasper strokes my head.
"It wasn't obvious what would cause the event, but all I could see was Edward covered in blood." I wait as Carlisle sighs, exchanging a look with Esme.
"What sort of blood are we talking of?" He asks, frowning.
"Human."
"Well, we're lucky he's been warned. Fighting on an empty stomach would be ridiculous, I thought I'd taught him that – It's so unlike him"
"The things we do for love," Esme sighs.
I hold Jasper tightly as they leave the room, after a few moments he turns my head to face his and cups my cheeks in his hands. I roll my eyes.
"Yes, there's more." I say, defeated.
"Alice, why did you think you could fool me?" He smiles briefly.
"It's just, I couldn't see something…" I drift off. He looks at me curiously.
I shrug out of his grasp and walk to look out of the window as he follows.
"You don't usually see the whole event, my love." He whispers in my ear and wraps his arms around my waist. You don't understand I feel like saying.
"Alice?" He asks.
"I didn't see his eyes –I'm sure it's nothing, but,"
"It will be nothing, don't worry yourself." He comforts.
"But what if, if it is important. I have no idea what colour his irises were," I sigh, suddenly feeling a sense of calm and serenity wash through me. "Jasper! I'm serious, what if he wasn't hungry?" I cross my arms, stepping away from him, but he twirls me around so our noses almost touch and I can't help but stare at his adorable puppy-dog eyes. "Fine, you're right. I give in." I say, falling onto his lips. I can be so easily distracted, I think, but who wouldn't with him wrapped around you! I grin to myself.
(Victoria POV)
I should take her back; I'm not a psychopath – what was I even thinking? But I remember and thousands of jagged icicles plummet straight through my heart and I keel over, clutching my chest. With his magnificent crooked smile, dazzling skin, glorious laughter singing with mine, muscular arms encasing me in his perfection. Those adorable ears – oh, how he hated their tiny size – unnoticed when surrounded by his heavenly flowing locks. Like any other male, longing for things he could not have, he followed me for weeks trying to get me to go on our first date. I refused, but he kept persisting and pleading me until I could not resist. He was so determined, never giving up! Oh, how I hoped I could withstand his charming behaviour, so gracious and polite, but there was a pull, too magnetic about him. My friends warned me – 'he's trouble' they 'd say, but this danger made him more alluring. I wanted to reform him; influenced by fairytale endings and the feminine desire that with the right love and care you can change any man. They told me to stay away, but forbidden events enticed me even my clan found out, they told me to leave him 'forget about him, he's not good for you' they said. But how could I forget? They made us move around, but each time he followed, begging and pleading. I wanted his affections so much; I wanted to feel adored, needed. We had an eternity ahead of us, young lovers, so we ran away together. I left my life behind, safe and secure, for the freedom of travelling.
When I admitted that his affections were mutual, he changed completely. He had claimed his prize.
I was discarded, like a child leaving the toy they'd played with for years to gather dust on the shelf. All of our passion, his attention and adoration… vanished.
Why didn't I leave him? They wondered. I wish I had the strength. I watched him invite the affections of hundreds of beautiful girls, seemingly oblivious of our relationship. I felt so helpless, so human. They say it takes absence to appreciate presence, well, in his death; I lost half of my life. Our memories. Why didn't I leave him?
It took his loss, to finally realize why I put up with so much more than anyone would have, why I watched him break the hearts of countless people, why I left my life behind to follow him.
Love.