Chapter 7
Bruce ran over to the side of the GCPD and pressed a button to call the tumbler. He leapt off, cape slowing his decent. He hit the ground with his knees bent as the tumbler's lights washed over him. He jumped in and put the streets into his GPS unit. As Bruce drove, he pushed a button on his communicator to call Gordon.
"This is Gordon."
"Gordon, Joker planted bombs on 4th and Rivercourt. Wouldn't say which building. I'm on my way there now."
"I'll get the bomb squad over there as fast as I can." Gordon replied, "Are you back, Batman?" He asked lowly.
"I never left. I had to keep everyone in the dark, including you, Jim. Taking down the Mob wouldn't have worked otherwise."
"Is that why a couple of my officers found a drug dealer unconscious in the Narrows the other night?" Gordon's voice was lace with amusement.
Batman chuckled darkly, "Might have been."
As Bruce reached the intersection of 4th and Rivercourt, he checked his watch. Ten minutes to find the bombs. He got out of the tumbler and grappled up to the nearest building. He looked around, searching for clues as to which building it was. Knowing the jester, he had probably left a clue to lead Batman in the right direction, especially depending on what type of game Joker wanted to play.
After taking in every detail he could, Bruce noticed a smeared red handprint on a door of a condemned building. He jumped and spread his cape, activating the fibers, and glided over to it. He checked his watch again, seven minutes left. If he was wrong . . . but Bruce wouldn't let himself think about it. He had to be right! There was no room for errors here!
Batman ran over to the door and wrenched it open. He flew down the stairs, red arrows painted on the walls pointing the way. He spared a quick thought as to whether it was blood, but the smell of paint was heavy in the enclosed space.
Bruce followed the arrows all the way down to the basement of the building. He paused at the boiler room door, "Twinkle, twinkle, little bat, how I wonder where you're at" painted on it. He checked his watch again, four minutes. He cautiously opened the door a sliver, aware that it could be a trap. When nothing happened, he opened the door all the way and went in. He looked around, a couple of doors off the main room, both half open.
Bruce turned on his detective vision and scanned the room. Something flickered in the corner of his eye and caught his attention. He went over to the first door and opened it the rest of the way, looking for a trap. There was nothing else but the boiler. He ran over to the second door and he could see the corner of a table. He pushed the door open cautiously. There was an old table in the middle of the room with a box in the middle of it. The box was done up in green wrapping with a big purple bow on top.
There was no ticking, no sounds at all, coming from the box. Bruce went over to it, checking his watch again. Two minutes. He had to hurry. He took the lid off the box carefully, trying not to jostle whatever was inside. Something flew out at him, laughing hysterically, and Bruce jumped back, waiting for impact. When none came, he looked a little closer. It looked like an envelope on a spring. Batman went back into the box and looked in. No bomb, just the envelope and the laughter. He went and turned on the light and grabbed the envelope. He searched for the laughter and found a little tape recorder attached to the inside corner of the box.
'Bats,
So sorry I lied about the bomb!
Had to get the game started somehow, darling!
A game of hide and seek.
I'll even give you clues along the way.
Ta, darling!
J'
Bruce tapped the button on his communicator.
"Gordon."
"There's no bomb. It's his idea of a sick joke."
"You sure there's no bomb?"
"No. It would have gone off by now. He's playing with us. With me. Call off the squad."
"Fine. Will you let me know-" Gordon started, but Batman had already hung up.
Bruce grabbed the card and the tape recorder and went back to the tumbler. He had just started the drive back to the cave when white noise filled his ears. He tapped his communicator to see if he could get it working again. The static stopped as abruptly as it had started.
"Hel-lo, Batsy!" A nasally voice said in his ear.
Batman growled, "Joker. How did you-"
Joker cut him off, "Wasn't hard, darling. Took the Commissioner's phone the other day when you two were talking. Didn't even notice." He started giggling, "Commish was pretty an-gry when he realized he had to get a new one! It was really quite easy to hack into your system, doll."
"As soon as I get to the cave, I'm kicking you out!" He snapped.
"...you really live in a cave, Batsy?" Joker asked, surprisingly serious.
Bruce's eyes widened as he realized his mistake. He cursed silently as he figured out that Joker was waiting for an answer.
"No." He answered through gritted teeth.
The jester responded with an ear-splitting laugh. Bruce jerked his head at the sound, it went right through his head.
"Oh, dar-ling! Why didn't you say so?!" He said between chuckles, "Instead of staying in a cold, dark cave, why don't you come stay with your old pal, Joker? It'll be like a slumber party! We'd have SO much fun together!" He cackled.
Bats growled menacingly but was otherwise silent. Joker's laughter calmed down after a minute or two.
"What, Batsy? You don't think I'm serious?"
Bruce snorted, "You're never serious."
"You really don't know me at all, do you, Batman?" Joker asked, voice dropping a few octaves with anger.
"I know enough. I know you love trying to destroy Gotham. I know you love to make my life a living hell. I know you love chaos and killing. What else is there to know?" He spat.
"Oh, baby. If only you knew!" His voice perked up to it's normal nasal, lyrical tone, "But that's the whole point of the game, cupcake! I have a bigggggg secret that no one," He paused, "Not even the greatest bat detective knows!"
Bruce drove through the waterfall hiding the cave and parked the tumbler, "And just what is that?" He growled as he walked over to his storage case for his suit.
"I can't tell yet, silly bat!" Joker laughed again, "It would ruin the game! Besides," He added, voice serious again, "You're not ready for it." It sounded like he clapped his hands, "So that's why we need to play!"
While the Joker was busy talking, Bruce stripped off his suit, leaving him in a mesh shirt and long underwear. He changed his long underwear and mesh shirt into sweatpants and a loose t-shirt and sat down at his computer station. He pulled up his communication system to see if he could kick the Joker off.
"Ah-ah-ah! It won't be THAT easy to get rid of me, darling!" Joker commented, hearing Bruce typing.
"We'll see about that!" Bruce snarled, voice like gravel.
"I'll-uh-just wait here while you try, Batsy." The jester sounded horribly amused and that pissed Bruce off even more. Now he was even more determined to block the Joker out.
But after a few minutes of typing, it became obvious that the Joker had done something to counteract Bruce's commands to get rid of him. Bruce growled, becoming more frustrated. Joker giggled.
"Told ya, Bats!" Joker laughed manically.
"While I may not be able to kick you off, I don't have to listen to you!" Batman spit out, jaw clenched tightly.
"It's time for all little bats to be off anyway, darling. The sun is coming up! We don't want you turning into a pile of ashes-oh! Wrong fairytale!" He giggled again, "Expect to hear from me later. Game on, Bats! Dream of me, cupcake!" He laughed and the line went dead.
Bruce stayed up a little while longer to see if there was anyway to undo the damage Joker had done to his system. After a half hour of trying with no success, he figured he'd sleep on it. Maybe a fresher perspective would help. He trudged up the elevator to the main house and when he got to his bedroom, he flopped on the bed and passed out.