What had once been her favorite time of year soon became a season of dread. As the school year would wrap up Spock would prepare to stay at his Uncle's house on Vulcan, leaving Nyota behind to her own devices.
He didn't seem anymore enthused about it than Nyota but he went without a quarrel and always promised her that he would write and bring a gift. Her excitement about the letters and knickknacks was short lived when she had to make do without her best playmate and friend, or perhaps just a good friend of convenience since he lived so close.
There was a space that was growing between them that she just couldn't shake. Since they joined the ranks of the academy's student body, they had made new friends.
Kirk and Leonard had fast become friends with Spock. More often than not Nyota came over to his house to find Leonard playing galactic overlords of the 5th dimension on his comm console or Kirk raiding his fridge before they set off on their own adventures. While she wasn't left out of their play neither was she invited to join in.
Mrs. Amanda, perhaps out of pity, took Nyota under her wing. In the past three summers, Nyota had learned to make challah, haroset, hamentashen and her new favorite latkes. Nyota got the distinct impression that Spock's mother enjoyed having her around as much as she did. Amanda would call her over and make two batches of whatever they were making, one to teach with and one for Nyota to take home.
It was on one such afternoon that Nyota found herself asking about the uncomfortable air between Spock and herself to Amanda. "Spock and I are still friends right?"
They were in her kitchen preparing sufganiyot dough. The question came simply enough but had Amanda fumbling with what to say. She placed the dough she had been rounding into a ball between her palm onto the floured countertop. "Honey, why of course you are! What,... why would you say that?"
Nyota dropped her gaze to the pile of dough she was picking at and shrugged her shoulders. "I dunno. It just feels like he doesn't wanna play with me anymore. He just wants to hang out with Kirk and Leonard and then he goes off to Vulcan…"
Amanda sighed heavily and stared at her for a moment. "I see how you could think that."
She bent down and balanced on the balls of her feet to make her eyes level with her. Her hands were still pale with flour when she placed them onto Nyota's shoulders. "Listen, sweetheart. You are a very good friend to Spock. You mean a lot to him. Boys don't show it the way girls do. As a Vulcan, he also fails sometimes to think about the emotional reaction others have to his actions."
Nyota nodded half-heartedly and Amanda planted a kiss on her forehead. "You and your family mean so much to all of us. We're better for it."
She rose up and walked over to the sink to wash her hands. "I know I am. I missed having a girl around. Much more logical if you ask me," she teased.
Laughing, Nyota resumed making the small dough as Amanda joined her back at the kitchen island. Amanda had dried her hands. Hmmm, she intoned thoughtfully. "I suppose you've never met Michael, have you?"
"No I haven't."
Nyota had only heard about Michael in bits in pieces from Spock over the years. She was in Starfleet. Apparently she wanted to go to Vulcan's Science Academy but their father thought better of it. It backfired in a fashion as she went onto to be both infamous and well-respected. Backfired because he had meant for Michael to have an illustrious but quiet career. On the starship Discovery she had been anything but quiet.
She had since retired with a bondmate and was raising three kids on a terraforming colony on Alpha Centauri VI. She sometimes sent Spock letters and gifts, much like he sent Nyota when he was away but other than that they had very sporadic contact with each other.
Amanda chuckled softly and smiled. "Spock's a lot like her. Always trying to find the proper way of doing things but going about it the wrong way."
She put down a ball and gathered more dough in her hand. "The need to be a civil Vulcan doesn't always gel with the desire to fit in among humans. Right now, he's trying very hard to fit in with his male peers and still respect his father's wishes."
Amanda retrieved a wrap wand from the kitchen drawer closest to her and waved it over the plate of dough to rest it in the statis fridge. Nyota watched her work with another question on her mind. "So that means not hanging out with me?"
Amanda chuckled and shook her head as she started on another plate of balled dough. "No, Nyota. It means that boys however well meaning aren't always conscientious. You all are children and that means you're still learning how to do things and treat people the way they should be. Spock knows you are a good friend to him but I don't think he'll understand how rare it is, the closeness you two share."
Nyota nodded, satisfied now she wasn't being put off. She also knew she was just as culpable in the growing distance now between them. She had invited Charlene to walk home with them as she lived in the same neighborhood. She and Janice would bike to each other's houses and then to the supermarket for sweets and carbonated drinks. Christine loved to invite them all out to the mall to people watch and try on clothing. Her mother would tell her when Spock had come by to see her and she knew he was probably feeling left out as well. Nyota twisted her lips and sighed. "Yeah, it's hard."
They finished balling the dough while Amanda regaled her with stories of Michael and Spock growing up. It seemed like they were quite the duo and when their elder brother Sybok was still around they were unstoppable.
Nyota laughed as Amanda recalled the story of Michael cutting baby Spock's first bang with her safety scissors. Another one was how Sybok would play tickle monster with them and scandalize his father with his siblings' laughter. Her favorite story was Sybok's bar mitzvah and how beautifully the kids sang along with him as he read the Torah.
"They weren't supposed to, it was for Sybok to do. But it was so nice hearing them chant it together so melodically even if they're faces held none of the warmth their voices had."
"Wait? Spock? Singing?"
"Chanting," Amanda smirked, fetching the first plate of dough. She tested it with a nudge of her finger and placed it down in front of the stovetop. "He'll never admit to singing."
She gestured for Nyota to bring the cloth-covered plates over and turned on the stovetop's eye. "Maybe I'm getting nostalgic too. Who makes Hanukkah donuts in the middle of summer?"
"I like them," Nyota chimed. Spock always brought some over to her during the holiday. She would try and eat a few before handing them over to her parents but gave herself away with the powdered sugar lining her lips.
Her parents would click their tongues at her and scold her. "Just delivered, eh? Nice of you to share with us."
She would make sure that got all of them this time. Mrs. Amanda did not like to keep sweets in the house unless Spock and Sarek were both planetside. She said something about mindless snacking and widening thighs. Nyota handed her a metal slotted spoon to start plopping them into the warming oil.
Amanda thanked her and praised the hearty sizzle they made as she gently spooned them in. "Now we're cooking. What jam do you want to fill your donuts with?"
"Peach."
Amanda chuckled in surprised and went to the cupboard. "I had raspberry and strawberry ready but let me see if we have any peach around. At least you didn't ask for grape like Spock. Yuck."
Nyota laughed and shrugged her shoulders. "Grape is good too."
Amanda groaned and handed her the small jar of Bellini jam. "Darling, it's the donuts that you think are good, not the jam. Oh shoot, these are almost ready. Stir that jar up so we can get ready to fill them."
Nyota obeyed as Amanda scooped them out onto the the clothed plate and loaded up the next batch. They worked in relative silence as Spock's mother taught her to make the holiday confection. Nyota pained over each step as if it were a study guide and demo'ed the next batch with flying coloring.
Amanda gave a little cheer and rubbed her shoulders. "That was excellent darling. None of my kids can cook like you. The closest is probably Michael and she burnt every batch of Sufganiyot she ever cooked."
Nyota laughed at the snide complaint and gasped as she overfilled the donut she was attending to. Amanda clucked her tongue and picked it up. "Looks like this one needs to be the taste test victim. Want to do the honors?"
Nyota nodded eagerly and hummed as the warm dough tore apart between her teeth. As she filled and sugar-coated the others Amanda wrapped up a few for her to take home. She hovered over the basket before shooting Nyota a smile that didn't quite meet her eyes. "Hey...why don't you write a letter to Spock telling him a little of what you told me today."
She handed over the bowl and Nyota took it with a look of confusion on her face. "Really?"
" Oh yes." she assured her, cleaning off her hands on a dish rag. " He'll be happy to hear from you and even more receptive to what you have to say."
"Okay, I will."
She reached out and cupped Nyota face. Amanda looked happier than Nyota could remember her being in recent years and that made her happy as well. Amanda had always been nice to her. "What a sweet girl. May Yahweh bless you."
Nyota smiled and bid her goodbye. She had mixed feelings on writing Spock but she was overdue on her reply to his last letter.
It hadn't even been a full two days before she heard her PADD chime. She was on her bed sorting disk chips when she saw the incoming message. Ever one for privacy, Nyota got up and closed the door before opening it up.
Spock was diligent in his writing as he was with most duties. Every week her personal PADD would ping with the notification that he had written and Nyota ritualistically read his communications.
As with any other reading Nyota make a nest of her bedding and faced the window towards his house. She wasn't expecting much out of the letter. Most of them were like his first creative writing assignment, somewhat...dry. Nyota didn't want to say boring but being eleven years old and used to more dramatic forms of conversation (in her opinion…) she couldn't find a better word.
She opened it up and immediately paused. This latest letter troubled her. Unlike the rest, Spock had opened up about himself. And while it was typical of his behavior when they interacted face-to-face, this was a missive. It wasn't typical for him.
It read more like a diary page. It was emotional. She flopped down onto her belly to read it for a third time:
Nyota,
It is the 26th standard day of July on Terra. Today's activities included hiking around The Forge, reciting all the tenants of Surak and tending to my Uncle's garden.
The Forge is where Surak became enlightened and wrote his tenants. Many scholars believe because of its harsh conditions on the outside and haven within, The Forge was seen as a metaphor of the mind to Surak when he came here. In some ways it has given me peace. There are some circumstances that I have found troubling for quite some time.
I have not seen a way around it nor have I devised a solution. In the face of this obstacle I have found peace in knowing that peace itself is hard to obtain for everyone. It makes me feel not alone and in that belonging, normal.
I have enjoyed gardening with my uncle a great deal. He is patient with me and receptive to my questions no matter how remedial. He is also a well versed chef and cooks what he grows. He has taught me how to make a custard that I believe you would enjoy given what I know you like. Perhaps when I return we could start a garden outside of the miniature Vulcan domicile in my backyard? From it we could collect produce enough to make the dishes I have learned to make here? Would you like that?
I wish you could come with me when I leave out for Vulcan. You would get to see the houses at full scale and see The Watcher up close and not as a hologram in the window. We could go mining and add to my geological collection. I could finally show you my father's Sehlat that we left with family and visit the Golian zoo to see a wild one. They are quite different I assure you. Like dogs to wolves.
All of this we could do but I do not believe our parents would let us do so. Your parents because of the gravitational pressure and thin oxygen and mine, or rather my father, because he would see it as a needless imposition placed on my Uncle.
Gardening with you back on Terra is a poor substitute but out of everyone that I know, you would enjoy it the most. I have sent a number of seeds ahead of me so that you may get started without me. They are full shade flowering perennials here on Vulcan, whose blooms are Green. On Terra with its one star you will most likely have to adapt the conditions to get it to germinate. I think its treatment should mimic that of a desert succulent for best results. I will leave you to experiment with them as you wish.
Spock
Nyota rolled away from her PADD and onto her back. She held one hand in the other and absently picked at the nail polish chipping at the ends. She felt...weird but why? Maybe things felt weird because he hadn't been around recently?
It felt like he should be here. The habits and routines they had built together were hard to break but there was little Nyota could do to relieve it. Amanda let on how much Spock had missed her; was it only missing her company or was her next door Vulcan missing her?
Nyota chewed her lip. She hadn't really liked a guy before but...with all the things Spock had said…
She shook her head and left the PADD on her bed. It wasn't until she got the seed in the mail that she decided to reply and only then with a thank you.