Episode 7

"Welcome back to the show!" Owl spoke up, grinning at the camera. "Today, I've got Cassian, Jizabel and Cassandra, so let's give them a hand!"

"Shut up." Cassian muttered, glaring at Owl. "Can't we get a break already!?"

"Hey, Justice and Moon aren't around twenty-four seven, and Zenopia can't be on the show because he's got tons of work all the time..." Owl muttered in response.

"The same goes with me!" Cassandra snapped back. "You KNOW I have a Halloween ball to start planning! But NO, you decide to drag me all the way here for this episode, Owl!"

"Does that mean when Halloween rolls around the corner you can't celebrate with us on the show?"

"Yes, unless a bunch of the guests get sick enough, or if I get sick the day before."

The Owl's facial expression turned into a pout. "Phooey."

Q and A

"We got a couple questions this time." Owl remarked, grinning ear to ear as he took out a bunch of papers. "Okay, they're all from anonymous Trump Cards, as well as the Coffinmaker and Mikalia. Should I go through the Trump Cards first?"

"Why not?" Cassandra asked as he pushed a lock of hair behind his ear. "The sooner we go through those letters, the sooner we don't have to deal with those rats. Ask away..."

"Alright...Cassandra, Cassian and Jizabel...Seme, Uke or both?"

All three mentioned people stared at each other, completely unsure of what the question was about. "Wait, what in the world does those words even mean?" Cassian asked as a confused expression took over his face.

"What's a seme?" Cassandra asked. "Does anyone know?"

"Here, take this." The Whilte Owl beamed as he handed over a large book to them titled 'The Yaoi/Yuri Dictionary.'

It was Jizabel's turn to be confused as he opened the book. "What in the world is Yaoi and Yuri...?" He murmured quietly as he flipped the pages.

10 minutes later...

"I'M THE SEME!"

"NO, I AM!"

"I have the physique for it!"

"At least I would know how to treat the other one nicely!"

"Shut up, boy!"

"How dare you, old man!"

"Hey, you're same age as me-you're categorizing yourself as old, too!"

Jizabel and Owl awkwardly stared at Cassian and Cassandra, who were wrestling each other on the ground before Jizabel turned towards the camera and tried his best to explain the situation.

"We looked up the definitions and went on the fanfiction website to see which one of us were more likely to take what position. I'm mostly an Uke, though I have been Seme a few times in a few fanfics." He started. "The thing is, Cassandra and Cassian don't want to settle for being both, so they're fighting it out to see which one will be the Seme..."

"I don't think anymore questions are going to be answered at this rate.." Owl muttered quietly. "We might as well get to the next section and save the rest of the questions for later."

"Agreed."

Word of the day!

"The word of the day is wizened." Owl spoke up, smiling at the screen. "It means 'shriveled or wrinkled with age.' That would be a perfect word to describe the Cardmaster's appearance, especially if he hasn't slept well!"

Jizabel stared at him. "Are you sure it was a good idea to say that, Owl?" He asked skeptically. "You do know that the Cardmaster watches every single episode to make sure that none of us kill each other onscreen..."

"Really?" The Owl's face scrunched up slightly as he continued. "I didn't know that."

"Shouldn't that word be used to describe Cassandra's appearance, rather than describe the Cardmaster?" Cassian asked.

Cassandra took the opportunity to bash the Trump Card on the head with a cushion. "Shut up, Trump Card!" He snapped as he gave Cassian the death glare. "I am NOT old!"

Q and A (again)

"Why are we doing this section again already? Did we suddenly get more questions?" Cassian asked, confused.

"No. You and Cassandra were both fighting so much over the seme case that we had no choice but to save the other questions for later." Jizabel told him as he opened up another letter. "Ah, I see this is from Mikalia...White Owl, do you have any idea where some of my dresses have gone? I KNOW you stole them, so give them back or at least tell me where they are!"

Cassian and Jizabel took the opportunity to stare at Cassandra, who just stared back at them nervously.

"What? You don't actually think I stole them, do you?" Cassandra asked quietly, paling a bit.

"Well..." Cassian and Jizabel both trailed off quietly as Cassandra face-palmed himself.

"Seriously, if I want anyone to dress in drag I would give them something better than the rags Mikalia wears..." The Hierophant muttered underneath his breath.

"COUGH-CASSIAN-COUGH-STOLE THEM-COUGH!" White Owl shouted.

"You?!" Cassandra asked, staring at Cassian as if he were some sort of alien. "What were you doing with them?"

"The doctor made me go on a recon mission, and I needed a disguise! End of story!" The Trump Card snapped back, blushing of embarrassment.

"She will kill you." White Owl told Cassian, who just let out a sigh.

"I know."

"White Owl, you owe me ten bucks. I won the bet. -Coffinmaker." Jizabel paused, before looking up at the Owl and speaking again. "What sort of bet did you two make?"

"Oh, it was whether Moon would get into a fight with Justice ten times today or not. Apparently she did, if the Coffinmaker has found them arguing ten times in a row..." Owl trailed off. "Dang it, I need to get a good luck charm-I'm losing all these bets!"

"Cassian and Cassandra, what is it like for you two to be on the same show together in the same episodes?"

"It's torture. Complete torture." Cassandra answered bluntly. "If you want to be on the same show as this brat-" He pointed at Cassian before continuing, "You are in for a lot of craziness and stress."

"Same goes for him." Cassian responded, pointing at Cassandra. "So, people, never try to be on a talk show with this guy." Cassandra and Cassian both glared at each other before White Owl spoke up.

"I think it's only because you guys need to go to anger management classes or something... Or couples therapy." White Owl responded, shrugging a bit.

Jizabel stared at the White Owl for a moment. "Couples therapy?" He repeated in disbelief.

White Owl nodded. "Yeah. Maybe you should join them too-I don't think preserving organs and the like are healthy for a relationship, especially a three-way one."

"Three-way relationshi-" Cassian started, but White Owl continued.

"I think the proper term for that is a-"

Cassandra took the opportunity to hit the White Owl with a baseball bat, knocking him out.

"No." Cassandra muttered, mortified. "Since when did the White Owl start assuming that we're in some sort of relationship between the three of us!? We're not! I think..."

Cassian and Jizabel just exchanged awkward glances with each other and shrugged a bit.

Conclusion

"Er, so...I think that's going to be it for this episode." Cassian muttered awkwardly as he glanced at the White Owl. "There isn't really much to talk about this time, anyway."

Jizabel just waved awkwardly at the screen with a monotone expression on his face, before leaving the room.

Cassandra paused, before turning towards Cassian. "You know what to do, Trump Card." He told him. "Turn of the camera."

Cassian rolled his eyes, before the screen went blank.