A/N Shorter chapter this time but I hope you enjoy it anyway. I actually struggled a lot with this chapter as I just couldn't seem to write my thoughts out and may have sat on this for about three weeks or so and was the reason I started posting just so I could gain some motivation from you all which you have with your reviews and favourites/follows so thanks so much. Anyway enjoy :)
As soon as Castiel was home, he was straight to the cupboard where he had his hard liquor and pulling out his full bottle of vodka. He unscrewed the cap and skulled back an unhealthy gulp before hissing at the burning sensation as it swirled down his throat. He moved himself towards the stairs and tripped a little as he moved up them with his focus mostly on getting more alcohol into his system. He didn't allow himself to think just yet because if he did he knew he would just become angry; angry at both himself and at Dean who left him on the side of the road with absolutely no explanation. The alcohol in his system was already clouding his thoughts as he took another hefty swig from the clear glass bottle as he finally reached the top step. He stumbled towards the sliding door and opened it to step into the cool night air before moving to the railing of the balcony. Castiel set the still half-full bottle on the railing making sure it was steady before moving his hand away and searching his pocket for his cigarette container. He pulled out a joint and fished his lighter out of his jeans pocket with his free hand as he put the rolled paper in his mouth and set his case back into his pocket. He lit his cigarette and took a drag and held it before slowly exhaling. The tension in his body eased as the effect of the drugs and alcohol took over but before he could think properly he was pulling out his phone and entering the number he always rang when he hit a snag of trouble.
"Howdy Clarence" came the cool voice "What do I owe the pleasure?" He never understood as to why he had been assigned the nickname and he had never asked but he had told her to stop which she did not which lead Castiel to just give up and go with it.
"Hello Meg" Castiel replied his voice was low with disappointment along with his intoxicated state.
Meg's laugh echoed through the phone "You're drunk dialling me again? Why does it take you to be drunk to give me a call these days?"
"It does not take me being drunk to call you!" Castiel snapped back
Meg's laughter only continued "Aha whatever you say Clarence"
Castiel took another drag of his joint to calm himself before he spoke again "I need some advice" he said with a sigh before putting the paper back into his mouth.
"Okay and what would this advice be on?" She asked a little hesitantly. When she had been around, Castiel would go to her about everything as she was pretty much his only friend. She knew all about his life and how much pain and hurt was in his background and she never judged him for it. She treated him like she did everyone else and when Castiel had an issue Meg would never fail to help him out.
"There's this guy" Castiel began before taking yet another drag of smoke, "We've been flirting back and forth for a while now and I overheard a conversation that he would be at Delta tonight so I went and surprised him there. We danced and things were getting heavy so we decided to leave but once we got outside, he just ran off. No explanation. Nothing. Just went off"
Meg sighed through the phone and Castiel took the opportunity to take another inhale of smoke before shuffling to where his ashtray was and stubbed it out. "Well Clarence, it sounds to me like you have a closeted gay on your hands," her laugh had Castiel smiling even despite the situation "Or there's something you're not telling me about this guy of yours." Castiel stayed silent he knew Meg would see through the bullshit and know that there was something else that would have caused Dean to run off. No one went to Delta if they weren't at least a little bi-curious. Apparently he had been silent for too long because Meg was demanding an answer from him "So what is it Clarence?"
Castiel sighed as he shuffled back to where his bottle of vodka was left before he picked it up and headed back towards the sliding door taking large gulps as he went. He slipped inside closing the door behind him, making sure to lock it, before flopping onto the spare bed. "He's my coach" Castiel announced resigned.
"Your coach?" Meg replied confusion clear in her voice "I knew you liked them older Clarence but isn't someone in their sixties pushing it?"
"What?" Castiel queried as his mind tried to catch up to what Meg was implying "Ew, no you've got it wrong." Castiel cringed as he realised Meg thought he was speaking about Bobby "We have a new coach his name is Dean he's in his twenties"
"Oh" Meg breathed obvious relief flooding through with just that one word. "That makes more sense. Tell me what happened"
Castiel knew the only way he was going to get help from Meg was telling her everything so he did. Even though his mind was cloudy with the effect of the alcohol and drugs, he managed to get the majority of the story of the first time Dean was at training all the way to where Dean left him alone on the side of the road. He was surprised by how easy the story came out and how unemotional he had gotten. Normally when he was in the state he was in, alcohol and drug clouded, he would portray a range of emotions as he unleashed his problems upon Meg. She stayed silent as Castiel spoke which he was grateful for and just listened to him rant on and on about how they had made a deep, profound connection in the few weeks they had known each other. He didn't skip out on the details of how Dean would admonish him for his tardiness and the punishment he would dish out nor about how they would have their chats about anything and everything in Dean's office. Once he had started he couldn't stop until he was pretty sure Meg knew every little bit about Dean that Castiel did himself.
"Well that sucks" Meg said after he finished. Castiel sighed down the phone before he collapsed down onto his own bed. He had moved while he walked bringing his bottle of vodka with him but had placed it back onto the kitchen bench empty. "He sounds like a good guy" Meg continued "Except for the whole ditching you thing" she joked dryly.
"So what do you think I should do?" Castiel asked sleepily before he rubbed his eyes with his free hand.
Meg let out a short sigh before answering "It's pretty obvious Clarence. Make him want you. Turn on that irresistible charm of yours and make him crave you. Do you have his phone number?"
Castiel stopped to think for a moment "No I don't. Gabriel probably does I could get it from him. Why?"
"Don't tell me you're that slow Clarence? You need to flaunt yourself. Send him some pictures that get him all hot maybe it will loosen him up a little"
Castiel couldn't help but laugh "You want me to send him nudes? He's basically seen me naked anyway, Meg. Swim trunks don't hide much"
"Do you want my help or not?" Meg snapped causing Castiel to stop his laughter "I didn't say nudes I said flaunt your stuff. Jerk off for the camera or something I don't know just do something that will force him to do something about it. Unless you want to go the rest of your life knowing he was the one that got away?"
That caused Castiel to stop and think for a moment because he definitely didn't want that. He knew he liked Dean more than just a one night stand but what Meg said had got him thinking. He didn't know yet if he saw Dean as someone he would be with in the long run, someone he would spend the rest of his life with but he was open to the idea. He just needed to have the chance with Dean to see if it was indeed something he would pursue further. Their interaction at the club was enough to show him that things between them was going to be intense if they pursued it but with the way Dean had left, it had him thinking if it did happen, it was going to be complicated especially if Dean ran away from his problems instead of facing them head on. Castiel let out a sigh as Meg waited for him to answer. He had a lot to think about before he saw Dean again but he knew that he wanted answers from Dean before anything went further.
"No" he answered simply "I don't want him to be the one who got away but I don't want to go wasting my time on something that's never going to happen. I'll just have to talk to him when I see him next and if I see potential I'll go through with your plan"
"But Clarence," Meg interrupted "From what you've told me he's obviously interested he's just scared. You need to bring him out of that shell of his and get him to give you a chance. If you can get hold of his number then it would just speed up that process"
"I guess you're right" Castiel resigned
"Of course I'm right. Now get off the phone and get some sleep. Call me when you've finally got somewhere with him"
Castiel nodded in his drowsy state eager to just curl into a ball and sleep. "I will Meg. Thanks" he replied just as Meg went to hang up, Castiel spoke again "Hey Meg?" when Castiel got a hum in reply, he continued "I miss you"
"I miss you too Clarence" Meg replied "Now get some sleep"
Castiel didn't know when he hung up the phone or when he fell asleep but when he woke up, he had a hangover from hell. He groaned as he shifted on his bed realising that he hadn't stripped of his clothes or got under the covers. He needed a shower but first he needed to throw up. He ran with his hand over his mouth towards his bathroom gagging as he went trying and failing to keep the bile down. As soon as he reached the toilet, he let go and vomited into the ceramic bowl. The swimmer collapsed to the floor with a groan as he settled himself against the cool surface of the toilet seat before he gagged again and his empty stomach pulsed more bile up his throat. He shuddered and cringed at the disgusting taste in his mouth as he swallowed before he crawled on his hand and knees to his shower. He stripped himself of his clothes with difficultly before shuffling into the shower and reaching up to turn on the water. His body shivered and his skin covered in goosebumps as the cold water ran over his skin but it woke him up and made him feel less clammy and sticky from the club. He grimaced as he remembered the events from the night before as it all came rushing back to him. Soon, anger washed over him as he remembered how cold Dean had been leaving him without explanation.
As the water warmed he settled himself against the shower wall with his legs stretched out before him letting the water wash away everything and he just sat there unmoving, unthinking. After what felt like hours, Castiel finally reached up and turned off the water before he reached outside and grabbed his towel. He stood on shaky legs, his body having the hangover shakes desperate for food and water, and wrapped his towel around himself. He walked through to his kitchen and looked in the fridge finding a bottle of Gatorade and not a lot else. He needed to do more food shopping but with his head pounding and his stomach rolling, he knew he wasn't going to get much done except eat and sleep. He shuffled towards the counter that kept the loaf of bread and pulled out a couple of slices before putting them into the toaster. He groaned again as another pulse raked his body threatening to vomit once more but he held it down and instead unscrewed the bottle cap before taking a small gulp. As it settled in his stomach, he set the bottle on the counter and rested his hands on the edge leaning his wait against it. Satisfied he could move without gagging, Castiel shuffled back to the fridge where he grabbed the butter and small jar of honey along with a knife from the drawer and moved back to the toaster. As he moved, he noticed the empty bottle of vodka and grimaced once again at how much he had drunk. It had been a while since he had been that drunk but the amount he had drank last night was still a hefty amount and was taking its toll on his body in the morning. He knew what he had to do though except first he needed food.
He jumped like he always did when the toast popped up and moved sluggishly to pick it out before dropping it onto the bench. Castiel smeared the butter over it before placing the honey overtop. With his breakfast made, with a glance at a clock he realises it's actually lunch, he moved to the table with one piece in his mouth, the other in hand along with his bottle of Gatorade and took a seat. Slowly, as not to upset his stomach, Castiel ate his food and drank his electrolytes. Once done, he rubbed his hands together to get rid of the crumbs before standing. His stomach felt better than it had earlier but he still felt a little off but he made his way over to his closet anyway and dressed in his sweats and a loose fitting shirt.
As he glanced over at his bed, nerves started to fill his gut when he spied his phone lying where he had disposed of it last night.
"Just do it" Castiel spoke aloud to himself trying to gain the courage to send a message to Gabriel. He weighed the pros and cons in his head as he stood there staring at his phone. He knew Gabriel would more than likely ask why he needed Dean's number and hopefully Gabriel wouldn't jump to conclusions as to exactly why Castiel wanted it. He knew that most of the team had picked up on the sexual tension between them if Balthazar's word was anything to go by. What Meg had said got to him though. He didn't want Dean to be the one that got away. With that at the forefront of his mind, Castiel took the few steps to his bed and picked up his phone opening a new message.
[To Gabriel: Hey do you have Coach's number?]
Satisfied, he sent the message before he sat down on his bed and stared at his phone waiting for the inevitable reply that would be probing into exactly why Castiel wanted his coach's number. Not thirty seconds later, a reply came with the number. Nothing else. No question as to why he wanted the number or any hesitation just Dean's number on its own. He shot off a reply of thanks before opening the message with the number and saving it. With Dean's number safely saved in his contacts, Castiel lay back on his bed deep in thought. He didn't want to talk to Dean today. He would have to wait until after their next training when his thoughts were clear and he didn't have a hangover to beat all hangovers. Instead of doing anything productive, Castiel shuffled back up the bed and rolled to his side where he fell asleep again to let his body recover. His dreams were plagued with green eyes and hot lips against his own in a world where Dean didn't leave him alone and had taken him home. When he awoke hours later, reality came crashing down on him leaving him feeling even more dejected and alone than he had felt in a really long time.
A/N Thanks for reading. As I said earlier your reviews do drive me along and I smile whenever I read one so if you feel the urge don't hesitate to leave one :P