Beka was kissing him. Gods, why now? After all this time, all these years of hope and despair and wondering and frustration. Now she kissed him, when he couldn't kiss her back.
This isn't real, he reminded himself. Why would she kiss him? After today, after everything. He didn't remember using the dream rose this time, there was none of the haziness brought on by the drug. He let one of his forearm blades slip down into his hand and pressed his fingertip to its edge. Pain darted up his arm. Pain... he didn't feel pain in his dreams... a sore head perhaps, but nothing more.
He pulled back. He had to get away, had to get away from her before he forgot that this was impossible. Still she moved closer, following him as he pulled away until finally he placed his hands gently on her shoulders and pushed her back. The look on her face nearly broke his resolve. She knew this was goodbye. Surprise, fear and sadness chased each other around her beautiful eyes. He turned away, unable to look at her anymore. That was her last resort and as he pulled away it nearly broke her heart. The Rosto she knew was dying and she couldn't do anything to save him.
"Please, don't do this." she said, too quietly for him to possibly have heard, but he must have, because he stopped walking away. "It does't have to end like this, Rosto."
He didn't move except for to clench his fists and mutter a few more words she couldn't understand before speaking again, still not looking at her. "It does. This is how this story always ended." He turned halfway toward her before continuing. "I pretended for so long that I could separate my life into two pieces but I can't. I am the Rogue. The Rogue does not get to have ... friends. It doesn't work that way."
She stepped forward but then stopped when he matched her with a step back. "Do you remember Kayfer?"
"I remember how he fell."
"Well, I remember how he lived. He couldn't stand on his own so he forced everyone else to kneel. He dealt in intimidation and favors. You didn't do the right favors for him and you may find that you couldn't buy food for your family...anywhere. You had to beg the Rogue to sell you overpriced grain. You're not like him! I know you've been taking a loss refusing to circulate those coles. Your stores of foreign grain have gotten us through hard winters and bread riots. And I know about the ransoms. Aniki told me that you tried to ransom those children for their families. I know you Rosto... You care about these people...as much as I do."
"I can't be him anymore..." Rosto started.
"If you can't be Rosto than you will end as Kayfer." Rosto stiffened and Beka continued, stepping forward one more tiny step. "I was wrong. You're not him, not yet."
Rosto sighed, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand in frustration. "What do you want from me, Cooper? Want me to go straight, play nice with the other coves and take up gardening? Would that please you?"
"I just don't want to lose you, Rosto" she admitted, "Tell me it's not too late."
It was the fear in her eyes that finally did him in and he stepped forward, closing the space between them and wrapping his arms around her. Beka sighed in relief as she returned the gesture. "I'm right here, love," he muttered in her ear before pulling away. He cupped her face in one hand and kissed her lightly. "You know this is all I've ever wanted, but I don't want you to get hurt."
"Then don't play games with me."
He smiled and kissed her again, "It was never a game."
"Your rats won't like that," she said.
"Neither will your dogs."
"I don't know how this works-"
And we still need to find Gemma Noll," he added.
"You already promised me the lead on her."
"So I did. Look how well we're working together already."
Beka laughed quietly, "Maybe we could start with breakfast, and you not making me hobble you today?"
"Sounds like a good plan, love."
Now decided, neither moved to enact their plan, Rosto instead leaning down to kiss her again.
"I'm not really hungry," he commented with a hint of that familiar smirk in his tired eyes.
"No ... what you need is sleep. You look exhausted, Rosto."
"I am." Taking her hand he had pulled her halfway towards his rooms before she caught on and dug her heels in.
"Don't think that's going to help, Piper."
"Oh trust me, I'll find the energy..."
She flushed but interrupted him quickly. "Not going to happen."
"What if I promise to be a perfect gentleman?"
"And I'm to believe the word of the Rogue?"
"That would be foolish... but perhaps the piper can be trusted?"
With a small smile Beka let him lead her the rest of the way to his rooms. Upon entering though she caught the familiar scent of roses on the air and Rosto noticed her confused look. With a sigh he reached out and touched her charm gently, drawing her attention to a slight warmth. Her eyes widened but before she could react he spoke.
"You're in no danger, love, it's gone."
"You...?"
"I thought it was the only way I could... sleep."
"It's all gone now?"
"Yes, unless this is all some kind of a mad dream," he affirmed, sinking down onto the bed. "Which I haven't ruled out," he amended, pulling her down next to him.
The soft warmth of Beka in his arms calmed his frazzled nerves and he relaxed almost immediately. For the first time in days he felt himself sinking into a natural sleep.
Beka could hear Rosto's breathing evening out almost instantly as he relaxed next to her. It was an unexpected if not entirely unpleasant situation, but despite the pleasantness of Rosto's arms around her, her mind wouldn't rest. She circled between enjoying the comfort of being held and a nervous disbelief that she was in Rosto's bed.
Hours later Rosto finally began to stir and his arms tightened around her as he woke.
"Good morning, Piper," she commented lightly.
He smiled at her and it made her smile too, the genuine happiness on his face had been so rare lately. Suddenly his smile fell and he jumped up and away from the bed, looking at her in horror. "Not again. I threw it away. How can I be here again?"
Beka sat up, confused, "Rosto? Are you..."
"I can't be here again... it's a dream-" He continued to mutter under his breath as she approached until she finally stood right in front of him. Beka watched him in shock as he backed toward the wall.
"Rosto it's just me-"
"You're not her, not her-" his words drifted into Scanran and Beka did the only thing she could think of to snap him out of it. Drawing her fist back she punched him, hard. "That feel familiar?"
He looked up at her in surprise, hand covering his split lip before a laugh broke free of him and he straightened up. "I do not believe my mind would have subjected me to that."
"I'm sorry, Where do you keep your kit?" she asked and he indicated a corner of the room where she could see some jars with Kora's familiar handwriting.
Retrieving a cloth and some of the balm she handed it to him so he could press it to his lip. Before she could back away though he grabbed her hand and pulled her back down onto his lap.
"You owe me, Cooper, but it will be a moment."
"I don't owe you anything, Piper," Beka scoffed.
"Patience, love," he said, continuing to dab at his lip until a few moments later the cut healed over leaving only a slight redness.
"Much better," then he pulled her down to him and kissed her again, hands tangling in her hair as the bloody cloth fell to the ground.
When he finally pulled away they were both breathless and Beka looked slightly confused.
"You always punch me for kissing you without permission," he explained. "If I'm to get punched by you I at least wish to deserve it."
She laughed and he stood pulling her to her feet. "We should probably get back out there. After that stunt I pulled this afternoon they'll be thinking you killed me."
"Not today. You still need to help me find Gemma Noll, remember."
He paused, a thoughtful look passing over his face, quicklya followed by a mischievous smile.
"I'm not going to like this am I?"
"Not a bit."
"But it will get me what I want?"
"Most certainly."
"Do I even want to know?"
"Probably not."
"Spill."
He grinned. "I do believe I am going to put out a hit on you, darling."
Beka raised her eyebrows, "this is the part where you tell me how that helps me...at all."
"Gemma Noll is afraid. Her mother went to the hill and she devised this entire convoluted scheme to pin your death on me and protect herself from the Dogs. Now she doesn't know what to do. They know who she is. She certainly still wants you but she won't show herself unless she is...protected. That is kind of my area of expertise."
"I don't just want her. I want them all. I want the mage, and her brothers. All of them that were involved in this."
"Beka that's not so ... simple. I can draw her out but to get all of them..."
"I'm going to have to let her take me again."
Rosto's jaw tensed and his arm tightened around her waist. "You're liking this plan a lot more than I hoped."
"Think about it-"
"Oh I am, love. I don't like what I see."
"I'll be prepared this time. I know what I'm getting into. And once they've all come out of their holes we'll be ready."
"Well fortunately for you, after today it won't take much doing to convince the court I want you dead. You did challenge me in public..."
"And you held a knife to my throat."
"I guess we won't be getting that breakfast, after all." Rosto commented, pulling Beka closer, "I wake with the mot of my dreams in my arms and within the next several minutes you've split my lip and we've devised a plan that will not allow me to so much as leer at you in public for the foreseeable future... And will likely culminate in me arranging your kidnapping. You're a hard mot Beka Cooper."
She placed a light kiss on his lips, "to tide you over, then?"
"Oh you'll have to do better than-" he didn't get to finish his sentence because Beka leaned in and kissed him hard making him fall back slightly in surprise. He tried to push himself upright again, but Beka refused to give any ground back. Beka threw herself into the moment, ardently refusing to allow herself to think about what came next. Pressing herself closer to Rosto she felt him finally give, falling back onto one forearm while the other wrapped tightly around her waist to maintain some aspect of control. When she finally broke away he kept his arm tight around her preventing her retreat.
Her heart was racing in some peculiar combination of the effects of the kiss and sheer panic. He must have seen it in her eyes, because a small crease furrowed his eyebrows. He opened his mouth to speak and she kissed him again to cut him off; this time Rosto broke free first. She smirked lightly but when he opened his mouth again she dove in for another kiss. This time he reached up, placing a finger on her lips before she could do so.
"Darling as pleasant as this particular method of silencing me is, I still recognize a brush off when I see one. What's wrong?"
A hint of irritation crossed her eyes and she pulled away. "We have work to do."
Rosto sighed as he watched her close herself off again. He knew better than to press her further so instead just nodded. "You'll have to go out the back, Given that we're not exactly supposed to be on speaking terms."
Beka pulled away and hurriedly left the room; leaving Rosto, as always, slightly perplexed behind her.
AN: My muse really wanted this to end badly... There was a great battle and I emerged victorious. You may now proceed to applaud, compose poetry or sing songs in celebration.