I slide my finger across the screen of my phone to answer it.

"Hello?" I try to sound cheerful, but it's really hard.

"Hey Demi. You make it home alright?" Joe's voice is so silky smooth that it makes me just want to talk to him for the sake of hearing it.

"Yeah. I'm on my way home right now. Had to go do a couple things…"

His voice turns skeptical. "You feel any better?"

"No. I still feel pretty rotten."

"…Did you get any?"

I stop at an intersection and look both ways before proceeding. "Some what?"

"….You know."

"Oh. Yeah. I got some…" I clear my throat.

"Did he yell at you or anything?"

"It's kind of a long story, Joe; especially over telephone."

"….Do you want to come over later?"

"To your house?" I can't hide the surprise in his voice.

"No, Demi. To my shack. Of course to my house. My mom would probably enjoy seeing you again."

"Um… sure. That sounds… nice." I pull into the driveway of my house.

"See you later?"

"See ya…" I hang up on him, grab my two bags of Thing and head into my house. Before I say hi to anybody, I run upstairs to stash my Thing away. I go back down the stairs.

"Hi honey. I missed you." My mom says as soon as she sees me. I walk over and sit beside her.

"I missed you too…"

"Daddy told me you got really sick. You feeling better?" She plays with the lengths of my hair.

"Not really. I kinda wanna go take medicine and a shower and lie down and stuff." I get up off the couch.

"Demi, wait. Wait… I want to talk to you."

"About what, mom?" I sit back down on the couch.

My mom strokes my hair lovingly and speaks to me in a soft voice. "…What happened?"

"What do you mean?"

"…Your lip, baby. It's all busted… and it's kind of bruised." She touches it softly with her thumb.

I forgot all about Trace punching me in my face. Oh crap. "…I just bit it. You know?" I cover it up with my hand.

"…You told me and daddy that you stopped with him, Demi. Please don't be lying."

"I'm not lying, mom…"

"…Did he hit you in your face?"

I get so sick of lying sometimes. "Yeah… but it's no big deal. He hit me because I broke up with him for good. It's fine, mom."

"You told me that the last time, honey. I just…. I want you to be okay. You won't let me press charges…"

"Mom, I'm okay. It's over between me and Trace. I'm not lying to you. I swear. Now… I'm gonna go shower."

"…Alright, Demetria. I love you, honey."

"You too, Mom." I get up from the couch and head upstairs.

I've been lying to my mom for a year and a half about Trace and me. The first time Trace ever hit me, my dad wanted to go over to his house and teach him a lesson. I talked him out of it, though. I swore to them that I broke up with him that time. It didn't take them long to figure out that I didn't really break it off with him.

This time is different, though. It feels good to finally tell my mom the truth. I really believe that Trace and I are over. I can't ever go back to him, so it's best if we actually are over. It's weird, because I don't care that we're over. Maybe I didn't really love him after all.

I take off my jacket and realize that I'm braless. My bra is still over Trace's. I can buy a new bra to replace it. I peel off my jeans and kick them to the side. I take down my underwear too. Something about my underwear catches my eye. There are two little marks of dried blood on the straight of them. It's not enough to be my period. He must've really been rough with me.

I shrug it off and throw all my dirty clothes into my hamper. I walk to my bathroom and start the water. Just to be safe, I grab one of my small, hand-held mirrors and put it down there so that I can see. It's not my period, just like I said. Everything looks normal down there, but it's a little red and irritated. I sigh, put the mirror back and step into the shower.

The warm water feels really good against my skin. I still have a headache and my stomach is still a little upset, but I feel pretty okay. I'll feel better when I toke up.

I wash my hair first. It was getting all dirty and greasy. After my hair, I wash my body. I'm gentle with myself. I wash between my legs softly, but I find that I'm really sore. I make a mental note to call my doctor tomorrow to schedule an appointment. I just want to make sure that Trace didn't give me anything. Like an incurable disease or something.

I finish bathing myself in a couple minutes, but I don't get out. I sit in there and think about what happened.

I really did think that Trace loved me. I really thought that we were going to be together, eventually. I thought maybe I'd marry him and have babies with him and we'd grow old together. I really believed that he'd find it in himself to give up all the drugs. I thought that I'd find it within myself to give up my Thing.

I shut my eyes and sit down on the floor of my shower. The water hits my head and lets me breathe. I think a little more. I think with a part of my brain that's never alive whenever I'm high.

Maybe Trace didn't love me. We were never going to be together. He has too many other girls. I knew that I'd never marry him and have little babies with him. He will never give up drugs. ….Maybe I could give up my thing….

I slam my head back against the wall of my shower.

Why did I ever even want to be with Trace? Why did I ever want to have kids with him? He's an addict. Not father-material. …I don't need him. There's no law that says I have to love him. No law that says I need him. No law that says any of this. …I can actually be something without him.

I can be something with anybody. I can be something with someone that loves me.

I can be something with Joe.

…But which do I love more?

Joe or my Thing?

Joe's Point Of View.

I called Demi, and she never answered. Would it be too psycho-stalker if I called her again? Maybe she fell asleep or something.

I should get myself situated. She's still coming over. She wouldn't stand me up. Not my Demi.

I decide to go shower, because I haven't done that since yesterday. I wash myself and get out of the shower in ten minutes. I don't see how girls can spend so long in the shower. What all do you possibly have to do in there?

I throw on a pair of boxers, sweatpants and a t-shirt. I check my phone. Still no call from Demi.

I go downstairs and sit on the couch next to Nick and Kevin.

"What are you doing tonight?" I ask Nick.

"Probably going to the movies with Selena or something. I don't know. She wants to hang out." Nick is disguising a smile.

"What about you?" I turn to Kevin now.

"Dani's coming over in a little." He answers me and continues to watch TV.

"Why don't you invite Demi over?" Nick suggests.

"I already did." I chuckle.

"You've been hung up on her for the longest." Kevin rolls his eyes.

"I could say the same thing about you and Danielle."

"But at least she's my fiancée. You and Demi have been playing the 'best friend' card for forever."

"Demi's just… different. That's all."

"You totally love her, Joe." Nick puts his two cents in.

"Of course I do. I admit that I do. But she's just… different. I don't want to mess things up between us again. Yesterday was the first time I've talked to her in person in months."

"She dates someone already." Nick tries to damper my mood.

"I know that, Nick. But… I think I can get her to realize that he's no good for her. I just… she's too pretty for him, you know?"

Kevin speaks up. "Well good luck… is she coming over?"

"She said she would." I sigh.

My phone starts to ring loudly. Kevin glances over at the caller ID for me.

"It's Demi." He tosses my phone to me and I answer it fast.

"Hello?" I get up from the couch and go into the kitchen.

"Hey… I saw that you called me…" Her voice is so beautiful. I'd record it and play it a thousand times over if I could.

"Yeah. I wanted to know what time you wanted to come over… you remember where we live, right?"

"Yeah, I remember. Um… it's 4:50 now, right? ….why don't I come over at about… 5:30?"

"5:30 is good. We're just gonna hang out around the house. Nothing too bad, so your man doesn't have to worry."

She laughs into the receiver, and my heart melts at her beautiful, melodious laughter. "He's something I have to talk to you about when I get over there…"

"I can't wait." I'm smiling so big, it's a smile that only Demi could pull out of me.

"See you at 5:30." She says.

"I'll see you."

She hangs up on me. 5:30 can't come fast enough.

Demi's Point of View.

I don't dress nicely to go to Joe's or anything.

I put on a pair of black yoga pants and a purple Victoria's Secret sweatshirt. I slip on some flip flops and let my wavy hair fall down my back. I'm high, but not as high as I usually am. I didn't toke up that much.

I run down the steps fast. I don't have a headache and I don't feel sick, for the first time in two days.

"Where are you going, Demi?" My mom asks. She's putting a French braid in Madison's hair.

"I'm going over to the Jonas's house. Is that okay?" I ask her before I grab my car keys.

"…The Jonas's?" She's skeptical.

"Yeah. Joe asked me to come hang out. I told him I would."

"Okay honey. Be home by 12. Call me if you'll be any later."

"I will. See you later." I grab my keys and head out the front door.

I remember how to get to the Jonas house. It's only about twenty minutes away from my own house. I drive the highway and make the first left turn. I drive through the suburbs and up a winding road. At the end of the road is their property. It's 147 acres, I think. It's a huge property. I drive up the driveway and park. It's 5:33, so Joe should be expecting me.

I get out the car and go up to their front door. It's been a really long time since I've been here. I ring the doorbell like I used to and wait.

Mrs. Jonas answers the door. "Demi! It's so nice to see you again!" She pulls me in and gives me a really tight hug. Denise always has been nice to me. Nick told me once that she used to talk about me as if I were already her daughter in law.

"Hi, Miss Denise. It's been so long…" I give her a hug back, and she lets me in the house.

"I was wondering if I'd ever see you around here again. Here, honey. Let me take your shoes…"

I kick off my flip flops and she grabs them off the floor. She puts them into a square in a shoe-caddy. Mrs. Jonas keeps a very nice house.

"Joseph! Your guest is here!" She calls up the steps and comes back to me. "So what's been up, Demi? It's been so long since you've been over here. I thought we scared you away!"

I laugh softly. "Nothing, really. I've just been really busy and stuff."

"Well I hope this means you'll start coming around again."

"I might… me and Joe are talking again and stuff… so it's possible."

Joe comes into the room with us. "Are you talking her ear off, Mom?"

Denise laughs. "I'm just catching up with her. That's all."

Joe smiles too. "Well I hate to break up the party, but…"

"Oh no problem. Call me if you two get hungry or something." She fixes one of the waves in my hair and leaves.

"We can go sit in the living room, if you want. Or do you want to go to the theater?" Joe asks me.

"I don't really care. I just have to talk to you about some things." I shrug.

"We'll go down to the theater. Nobody will bother us down there."

I follow him down a flight of stairs, to an elevator. I forgot how big the Jonas house is. We get on the elevator and ride it down to the theater.

"So what all do you have to talk to me about?" He turns to me and asks.

I follow him off the elevator and into the big theater room. I sit next to him on a big couch that wraps around a TV screen that takes up the entire size of the wall.

"…I did it." I say to him. I'm nervous to talk to him about this.

"Did what?"

"…I broke up with him…"

I admit, it does feel good to be talking to Joe again. He was my absolute, very best friend. It's still easy to talk to him about anything.

"You did?!"

"Uh huh…" I crack a smile. I knew that'd make him happy.

"….How?"

"…I… it's a long story. But… I think we're done."

"I'm so proud of you… I'm SO proud of you."

I feel myself blush. "…And it doesn't hurt. Like… I feel… better. About myself… I'm a little sad, but not much."

He reaches over and tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. "That's amazing, Demi. It really is. But… what about the other thing?"

"….the coke?"

"Yeah…. That."

"…I still have some." I can tell that he doesn't want to talk about it.

"…SO…." He switches tactics. "Tell me know you did it?"

"How I did what? break up with him?"

"Yeah…"

"It's really long, Joe."

"I have time to listen, bab…e. I have time to listen, babe."

It feels weird to have someone call me babe. But it's a good weird.

"…I have to start with three nights ago."

"Then start…."

"…I made him mad. So I went to go talk it out with him. And when I went over there… he was having this big party. I walked in on him with some other girl. But when I tried to leave, his friend stopped me. So I stayed there, and his friend tried something with me. and it was right in front of Trace. And Trace didn't even try to stop it. So I got away and stuff." I start explaining. It's surprisingly easy to explain this to Joe.

"So he wanted me to come over today and apologize to his friend by having a threesome with them…. I went over there. He did it… to me. and when he was…on top of me… I stabbed him in his back with a needle. So…. I think we're broken up."

I just look at Joe. The expression on his face is blank, with a little hint of pissed off. "He raped you?"

"Yeah… but I got away."

"…Well I'm glad you got away…" Joe leans over and kisses my cheek. This is a weird feeling to me.

"..Cutting him off was easy. Now I have to work on cutting out the… coke."

"You don't need that drug, Demi. You just want it."

"…Joe?"

"Yeah?"

"Remember when you said that you would've given me something serious?... why didn't you?"

"…I don't know…. I just wanted to wait."

"…How about now? Would you?"

"…I'd love to, Demi. but… I can't."

That stung a little bit. "Why can't you?"

"…I don't want to be with you if you're dependent on drugs… you have to stop…."

I think I might cry. But I understand what he's saying to me. I understand.

"It's not that easy to just stop, Joe…"

"I know, Demi. and I know that it's not your fault."

"It is my fault, Joe. I chose the drugs…"

"Demi, listen to me." He cups my face in his hands and looks at me deep in my eyes. "NONE of this is your fault. I know it's not… you've GOT to get this out of your head. It's not your fault."

"….But Joe, it is."

"…if it's your fault, then tell me how you got started with it. You're going to sit here and tell me that YOU discovered cocaine yourself? YOU introduced yourself to cocaine? YOU showed yourself how to smoke it or snort it or whatever you do with it?"

"…No."

"Who taught you how to do all that? WHO?"

"…Trace."

"It's HIS fault. Not yours."

"…I guess you're right."

"I know I'm right. It's not your fault. You didn't ask to be like this. And I can see it in your eyes that you don't want to be like this…"

"I don't… but I can't live with being sick like that…"

"So then… wean yourself off it."

"…How do I do that?"

"A little bit at a time, babe. A little bit at a time."

"….I can't do that."

"I'll help you. Lean on me, Demi. I love you. But…for you to get better… you have to listen to me."

"….I can't, Joe. I'll be so sick…"

"LISTEN TO ME, DEMI."

"I'm listening!"

"You don't need that drug. You THINK you need it. You NEED oxygen. You NEED a heart. You don't need cocaine to live. You can survive without it. I'm here for you. I'll go through it with you, baby. I'm here for you. I LOVE you."

"…I thought you said people who do drugs are gross."

"Forget what I said."

Joe's Point Of View.

"…You won't give up on me?" She has tears in her beautiful brown eyes.

"I promise I won't." I scoot over to her so that I'm close to her and hold her on my chest. I rub her back and let her lay on me.

"I love you, Demi. I love you. I love everything about you. I've always loved you. I'm here for you. You don't need that drug. All you need is me. I'll be here for you."

"…You will?"

"I will. I'll be here to love you, protect you, hold you…. Be with you. I'm here. You've got me… That's all you need. Not Trace, just me." I rub her back and rock with her.

I can only imagine the fucked up things he used to say to her. I can only imagine how he used to treat her. I can only imagine the sick, twisted things he used to put in her head.

"…Nobody wants me, though…. Nobody wants me, Joe…"

"I do. I'm somebody. Just let me help you, beautiful. Let me help you." I kiss her forehead. She needs to know that I love her. I love her so much more than anybody has ever loved her.

"…You don't want to have sex with me?" She looks at me in my eyes. I know she's being serious about this, but I can't help but grin.

"Of course I want to have sex with you, Demi. But that's not all I want from you. I want you to let me be here for you. I want to be your biggest supporter. I want to… make love to you."

I've come close to having sex with Demi once. It was in her hotel room after we finished shooting the last scene in the second movie. We were watching a movie during "Joe and Demi Time." Joe and Demi Time was something our castmates made up. We had to have at least two hours out of a day to ourselves, with nobody else around. It was something I wanted with her; personal time just to get to be alone with her.

One night during our Joe and Demi Time, we were watching some romantic comedy together. We started making out, one thing led to another, and we almost had sex. The only reason we didn't was because I didn't have a condom on me. Needless to say, I've been thinking about that for a lot. I don't always find Demi sexually attractive. Like… I don't think about her in a sexual way all the time. But other times I just can't help it.

"Can I have a kiss? Or is that too much?" She asks me.

"Why would it be too much?"

"…I don't know if you'd want to kiss me…"

"Of course I'll kiss you." I lean down to her.

She parts her lips a little and I part mine too before we smash them together. She pushes against my lips and I push hers right back. We kiss deeply. I want to kiss her in a way that lets her know that I love her. I touch her cheek and stroke the back of her neck. She pulls away from me.

"…I love you, Joe."

"I love you too, Demi. I'm sorry I didn't tell you that when I first realized it."

"…Thanks for telling me now."

Demi's Point Of View.

Joe's kiss feels like something I've only dreamt of feeling.

It finally feels good. It feels good to tell someone "I love you" and know that they mean it back whenever they say it.

I realize that I've always loved Joe. I hate that I've been too blinded by Trace to notice that. I've loved Joe for years now. I buried the feelings I had for him deep inside myself whenever I met Trace, but Joe had the power to dig them back up. And he just did. All these feelings have resurfaced.

I don't know why it was so easy for me to break up with Trace. I thought I loved him. But if I had loved him like I thought, it wouldn't be so easy for me to just let him go.

I don't even miss him. Why don't I miss him?

Why is it so easy for me to forget about Trace? I think it's easy because I have Joe.

Joe could make me forget about everything.

Joe can make me forget about Trace.

Joe can make me forget about everything I went through with Trace.

….but I really wish Joe could make me forget.

Make me forget about this headache that's starting to build up in my head…