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Chapter 7
The morning started off fine for Grimmjow. Sure waking up on a couch with a guy his age wasn't typically the way he started a normal day, but it was definitely not the worst thing in the world. Waking up on a couch with Ichigo actually reminded him a lot of his childhood when he would sleepover on a typical weekend. Though his muscles ached from his stiff position on the couch he felt refreshed from the pleasant memory and the warmth that was supplied from his best friend's body heat.
Ichigo's alarm went off a little earlier than he was used to waking up which was a bit annoying, but seeing Ichigo moan about how he was screwed was sort of cute especially after Grimmjow saved the day by offering everything he needed. He didn't even think anything was wrong when he refused the breakfast his mother offered to make for them since he was so preoccupied. She rarely cooks so early in the morning since she typically takes late shifts. Her mornings were typically spent sleeping in. She probably made an exception for the purpose of pampering Ichigo who she hasn't seen in ages. Grimmjow even estimated that she set her alarm extra early just to spoil the cute little kid she has known for years, not paying any mind to the traitorous extended absence.
Grimmjow made it his new goal in life to fluster Ichigo at every given chance, for example entering the bathroom when he was in the shower despite his obvious displeasure. Ichigo acted the way he expected and even reverted back to normal when he proceeded to continue his own morning routine after wasting time digging around in his closet and drawers to find clothes that would fit the significantly smaller male, clothes that would look good on him. Without Ichigo noticing he took the towel that was hanging on the rack just so he could hand it over to Ichigo and slightly brush hands with him. He didn't know how or why he came up with that idea, but it seemed to have worked. Ichigo's hand freezing at the sudden contact with his skin was enough evidence that he was shying away which made it difficult to hold back laughter and even more difficult to push him even further.
Ichigo stepped out when Grimmjow was nearly finished brushing his teeth. Grimmjow saw Ichigo's reflection in the mirror that has not fogged because Ichigo remembered to turn the fan on in the shower so he was able to see plenty. Unintentionally Grimmjow studied the other body in the reflection, how his wet hair flattened slightly against his face yet managed to remain unruly, his smooth skin, his flat stomach, how his towel hung right above his waist and if there was one wrong move…Grimmjow spit out the suds in his mouth and rinsed before retreating from the bathroom.
He wasn't supposed to be embarrassed, it was meant to be the other way around yet he left before doing anything to bully his friend further and there were so many creative things he could have done to mess with him that would have yielded the best reactions. So many possibilities ran through his head as he retreated downstairs trying not to beat himself up for chickening out for some reason.
He hoped that he gave Ichigo everything he needed. It was his fault that Ichigo stayed overnight. He woke up during the movie to see Ichigo sleeping against him, but instead of shaking him awake and offering to drive him home he let him lie there against him because…well he still hasn't exactly figured that part out yet. He was originally planning on driving Ichigo home and joining Nel at the party or at least drag Ichigo with him, but then Ichigo's head hit his shoulder and he couldn't bring himself to wake him up nor was he able to stop himself from joining him. If Ichigo needed anything he could ask, but while he had the chance he was going to indulge in his mom's rare offering to prepare a warm breakfast.
Ichigo sailed down the stairs and instantly preoccupied himself with homework, properly clothed and hair still moist from the only method of drying being a towel ran through it. Despite Grimmjow's mom preparing breakfast Ichigo refused it for the purpose of completing the task he shouldn't worry too much about. He was a senior in high school dammit. Even if Grimmjow wanted to protest, maybe steal his homework away from him so he could eat something he ended up just watching him intently instead.
He looked freaking great in his clothes; they were a little big on him which reminded him that the clothes he was wearing wasn't his own, but his. It filled him with some kind of warmth that he didn't fully understand but didn't dislike. The shirt hung off of his shoulder slightly, showing off his bare neck and Ichigo ended up having to adjust it to keep the collar centered so that it wouldn't slip and fall down his arm. After he started to work again his collar would slide down his shoulder causing him to stop what he was doing so that he could fix it again.
Eventually he ignored it and focused on whatever homework he was doing, math, or biology, Grimmjow couldn't tell nor did he care. All he knew was that it was keeping him from being able to spend a nice morning with him and stressed his buddy out. Ichigo scribbled down answers and flipped through his notebook to check his notes. He rubbed his hand through his hair, a nervous habit of his, and knit his eyebrows like he does when he is in deep thought or angry, or annoyed, or any other emotion really. Then he bit the eraser of his pencil lightly, a habit he has never seen before which reminded him that no matter how much he thought he knew Ichigo there were still things that he didn't notice and that was new about him.
He felt giddy just from looking at him even if he couldn't mess with him he still enjoyed being able to observe him without his knowing. His mother looked over her shoulder to check the wall clock and Grimmjow needed to stuff food in his mouth to keep her from noticing his light smile. He didn't need her concocting ideas with her overactive imagination. They were friends and he was just happy to see him, and there was nothing abnormal about the feelings that he got from looking at him.
Still, friends would have insisted on getting something for him to eat instead of going to school hungry. Friends would have noticed how run down he looked and tell him that it may be a good idea to take the day off since he was too stressed for a healthy high school senior. He didn't. He may have been his friend, but he should have watched over him better like he did when they were younger.
Grimmjow closed the front door and checked his phone that's battery life was as much as in a sorry state as Ichigo's who has already expressed his frustration for having to put it on power saving mode so early in the morning. As soon as he lit his phone up there was a text from Nel that read 'SOS I seriously need to talk to you.' She had a habit of making big deals out of nothing and then getting over the problem just as quickly as the problem presenting itself just like when she realized that she stole Ichigo's first kiss.
She never kissed him again, but it wasn't long until she started to joke around by insisting that Grimmjow kiss Ichigo to make up for it. Kissing Ichigo wouldn't have been the worst thing in the world, she could have forced a way worse penalty, and maybe if she forced him and Ichigo wasn't so reluctant then maybe, just maybe…he started the car before Ichigo even situated himself in the passenger seat.
He didn't have the chance to speak for most of the car ride since Ichigo was on the phone with his father. He didn't see the purpose of calling him since his mom already said that she called him. He could have paid more attention to him, dammit. He was bored of listening to him talk on the phone and silently wished that he could have his own conversation with him.
As soon as Grimmjow and Ichigo arrived at school Ichigo ran off and Grimmjow responded to the message that Nel sent last night while he was asleep. Nel responded instantaneously like she was staring at her phone waiting for him to message her back. If she responded back that quickly it must have truly been a big deal rather than some drunken text she sent to him without recognizing whether something was text worthy or not.
Nel and Grimmjow met in the stairway that was practically known for smokers and private conversations at this point. It was too early for the school smokers to sneak their fix in so they should be safe talking in private without any eavesdroppers. When Grimmjow slid open the exit door he noticed Nel sitting on the steps with her head in her hands with her hair draping over like a seafoam green waterfall so that he couldn't see her face.
"Grimm," She moaned at the sound of the door opening. "I fucked up."
Grimmjow sat next to her and hesitated to rest his hand on her back. He was never really sure how good he was at the entire comforting thing especially since he wasn't sure of the context, not to mention the fact that he was one of the many school assholes. When he placed his hand on her back he felt her shaking slightly as if traumatized by her own actions and inability to cope.
"I was drunk; I didn't know what was going on." She sobbed, her cries echoing in the stairway before being cut off by Grimmjow telling her to take it easy to prevent herself from going hysterical. Grimmjow traced his fingers across her back, ghosting over her hair trying to calm down his best friend. Her story didn't seem like it was going in a good direction and his mind was already conjuring all kinds of graphic scenarios in which he questioned if it was safe for her to be in school right now or whether she should be in an emergency room.
"I slept with a guy. I can barely remember who it was. It was dark yet I didn't think much of it. I barely knew what was going on." Nel said. The way she said it made it sound like she was consensual while she was drunk, but probably not in the right frame of mind to decide whether it is smart to pursue sexual relations. "Then Nnoitra, at least I think it was Nnoitra, questioned me knowing what I did. He asked if I broke up with Ichigo. I fucked up. I told him. I told him that Ichigo was gay, that we were never together." She said in choppy sentences in between short sobs.
Grimmjow pulled her into a hug and allowed her to cry on his shoulder while he stroked her back. He tightened his closed eyes and she sighed in relief while he tangled his fingers in her hair, brushing it out of her face. Yeah, what she told him really sucked, but it wasn't the worst thing. What happened wasn't nearly as bad as any of the graphic images that came into his mind when Nel explained that she was drunk. He should have been there to make sure she was safe, but this wasn't the first time she went to a party alone. Bad things have threatened to happen to her in the past though and Grimmjow was able to bail her out of those situations.
"It's okay, Ichigo is strong." Grimmjow cooed, nestling himself into her hair that smelled like a combination of her lavender scented shampoo and her calming natural scent. "He wasn't exactly satisfied pretending to be straight anyway. We are just back to square one. I'm just glad you are okay."
Nel was the first to pull away, she rubbed the back of her hand under her eye to clear her face of any tears that leaked down and gave one more gratifying sniff. Her face was red and her eyes were puffy, but at least she didn't wear a lot of makeup so there were no smudges. She quickly got up as if she wasn't crying just a moment ago. There it was, quickly over it. Now she wanted to act to make up for her mistake.
"We need to find Ichigo." Nel said, her hands forming fists, hardening her resolve. "We need to explain to him before things get out of hand and he ends up getting hurt again."
Grimmjow nodded. Nnoitra wasn't exactly the best person she could have told. He was known for being cruel in his methods and he was especially unforgiving towards people who were just a little different, just like Ichigo. Nnoitra has tried to attack Ichigo before just because of his hair color back in their freshman year when Grimmjow was still part of the football team. Nnoitra asked him to join him in a prank and he was quickly shut down. Back then Grimmjow and Ichigo didn't talk as much, but his instinct to defend Ichigo kicked in again.
The truth about Ichigo being gay may be enough to convince him to attack especially since he has been fighting to take Grimmjow's place as the king. Then there was the fact that he thought that Ichigo was dating Nel, the girl he had a crush on. He definitely had some resentment about that even if he knew that it wasn't true now. He'll probably get annoyed just from the fact that Ichigo got so close to her.
Grimmjow didn't rush Nel to get out of the abandoned stairway; it was the other way around. She pulled Grimmjow by his bicep, leading him to Ichigo's first period class that she has walked him to a number of times. She popped her head inside of the nearly empty classroom, but there was no Ichigo. His teacher seemed preoccupied with tapping his desk instead of partaking in the book that formed a tent on the page he left off in front of him.
Grimmjow pulled away from the corner of the doorway and strolled inside like he belonged there. The other students who were there early stared at him with wide eyes, wondering why the king has bestowed his presence on them while others hid in their notebooks, hoping for Grimmjow to not notice them peeking over.
Grimmjow strolled to the front of the room and stood imposingly in front of Ichigo's first period teacher. As soon as he recognized the tall elegant looking teacher as the one Ichigo had a crush on he couldn't stop himself from acting a little coldly, or very coldly, he couldn't tell all he knew was that he didn't like him. He didn't trust him. Teachers weren't supposed to get too close to their students yet he didn't seem to mind lending a book and leaning over one of his. He had to be some kind of pervert or something or get Ichigo mixed up in something ugly. He crossed his arms over his chest and his mouth was formed into an uncomfortable sneer. "Hey, do you know where Ichigo is?" He asked rudely despite asking the notoriously polite teacher for help.
It took Ukitake a second to recognize the student standing above him that wasn't his own before his eyes glowed in recognition. "Oh, I remember you. You're Ichigo's friend." He said with a sweet smile. "He was feeling a bit under the weather so Rukia took him to the nurse." The bastard sounded like he was genuinely happy to see him and the polite atmosphere did wonders to piss Grimmjow off. It made him feel like he was the asshole for having a less then appropriate demeanor. This guy could have at least returned his hatred, and dammit, why was Ichigo at the nurses' office? That seemed a bit more important at the moment.
Grimmjow cocked his head slightly. Rukia? He's heard of her from some of Ichigo's stories, but he never knew him. He always thought of her as some character from Ichigo's old life before Grimmjow gave him a new one where he was popular. As if reading his mind just from observing the subtle body language like some kind of creep Ukitake elaborated. "You know, his best friend?" He said gesturing to a seat that only made Grimmjow assume that that was where she sat and he would recognize her if she knew where her desk was. He's never been here before. How the hell would he know? Also who was this best friend chick? He was his best friend, dammit. He didn't know who she was, but fuck her! He wasn't allowed to have two best friends. Then again Grimmjow considered both Nel and he would probably consider Ichigo his best friend now too since they hung out every day and knew each other since childhood, but he was allowed to be an exception.
Without even saying goodbye Grimmjow turned around to leave the polite teacher so that he could track down Ichigo at the nurse since now there was something new he should be worried about to add to his annoying list of anxieties. Why the hell was Ichigo at the nurse? Did someone already get to him and this teacher did nothing to help? There was too much goddamn violence in this school and no one ever did anything about it. Some of the violence came from him, but even the faculty knew better then to go near Grimmjow in fear of his father's wrath. Before he could march out while drawing more conclusions he was called back.
"Hold on, if you are going to the nurse's office to find Ichigo can you give him this?" Ukitake exclaimed, grabbing Grimmjow's attention and pulling it back towards him. The teacher had a light smile on his face and kindness in his eyes as he rummaged through his satchel and pulled out a small thin book. Grimmjow narrowed his eyes at Ukitake, his vision swapping between looking at him and the suspicious black book he was holding. It better not be some perverted book that made suggestions at Ichigo. Wait, why would this guy be giving Ichigo a book like that in the first place? He wasn't a dumbass he knew that Ukitake was the most attractive teacher in the school and a bunch of girls took his work heavy class just so they could ogle at him during class. He's totally just trying to lead Ichigo on before he shatters him. "I was planning on giving it to him after class when everyone left, but I'm going to assume that he isn't coming back. It's a poetry book that I thought he would enjoy. Tell him it is a gift from me. It even has an inscription."
Grimmjow's brows furrowed as he tentatively took the book from his hands. This teacher didn't even know him yet he trusted him to deliver a gift. Was he some kind of messenger boy? How pure could this man be? No, it was all a front. He couldn't trust this guy. His resolve was not going to weaken to his sweet smile and kind words. He looked at the smooth cover of the book. It had a simple design, a white picture of a jellyfish that contrasted the dark cover. It was labeled "Pillow Thoughts" in the same white text as well as the author's name which he didn't even care to remember. Who remembers authors anyway?
Ukitake kept the same sweet smile on his face. "He's my favorite student and he seems like he has been having a rough time lately and I wish for him to feel better." Ukitake said looking at the book longingly. If he liked the book so much shouldn't he just keep it himself? "I thought it would put his mind at ease a bit."
Grimmjow tried to keep himself from snarling. The book felt like it was stinging him. Maybe it was because the picture of the jellyfish had some kind of effect on him, no that's stupid; maybe it was because the idea of a teacher giving a student a gift felt wrong even if he did say that Ichigo was his favorite student; maybe it was that the teacher actually had a genuinely nice thought and it may lead Ichigo down the wrong direction or worse the direction may actually turn out to be right; or maybe there is some kind of hidden message inside since there is no way that a teacher could be that nice so he must have ulterior motives like using this book to manipulate him.
The warning bell rang as Grimmjow left the room. Nel, who watched the entire interaction couldn't draw her eyes away from the small book that was held in Grimmjow's firm grip, threatening to wrinkle it. Grimmjow was in a bad mood. Ichigo wasn't feeling well and he hasn't noticed and on top of that he was expected to bring him a gift from that old man. Okay, he was like 30 and looked great and he'll begrudgingly admit that he was attractive, but Ichigo could do much better. Ichigo was young and good looking he can totally get someone as attractive as Grimmjow even if there was no one who could meet his standards.
Before he could bury Nel in his destructive ranting he told her that he could take care of the rest by himself and sent her on her way to class, worrying if Ichigo was going to be alright. As he walked down the hallway towards his destination he absentmindedly flipped through the book, hoping that if there was anything suspicious inside like a dick pic it would slip out. The pages were mostly empty as poetry resided on every page, some small, some large, some oddly spaced, some straight forward. Grimmjow was far from being an expert on poetry, but a lot of them seemed to have a similar theme that made Grimmjow feel queasy.
He flipped to the first page with a snarl to see if there was some kind of description to confirm his suspicions. Instead of that he found the first page covered in writing that was signed in pen. The handwriting was beautiful, like it was done by a calligrapher. It read "To Ichigo, the brightest star in my student constellation. I hope that these poems allow you to find some answers like it has helped me. ~ Love, Mr. Ukitake."
'Love' Ichigo's teacher signed the book with 'Love.' Grimmjow read the inscription a few times as he walked down the almost empty hallway that was only occupied by a few stragglers. He even said the cursed word a few times out loud to see how it felt when the hallway completely emptied out. "Love" he said to himself in a low voice under his breath before approaching the hall that was occupied by the main office, and the nurses' office. The word wasn't so hard to say, but in the context he was thinking of it made the hand that was holding the book sweat and threatened to throw the book as far away from him as possible.
He passed the book between his two hands to keep himself from following through with his instincts, playing with it, deciding what he should do with it. As he stood in front of the nurse's office he looked at the book one more time. He flipped it back open to the first page and stared at it. He would have coped fine if it was just a normal book, but the inscription made him feel uneasy. He scrunched his eyebrows together and tore out the cursed sheet of paper that was decorated by that teacher's beautiful writing and crumpled it up into a ball before shoving it into his jacket pocket and throwing the small black book into his bag.
Nothing good would come of it if Ichigo read that. It would only mislead him and that would devastate him more than anything. Ichigo could deal with bullying about his sexuality, he could push people away that he used to love, but Grimmjow wasn't sure how Ichigo would handle heartbreak. Ichigo was already hurting enough. He didn't know why Ichigo was in the nurses' office, but Ichigo was the kind of guy who would go to school even if he had a high fever so whatever happened to him must not have been good and he hated to admit that he was nervous, and the growing list of anxieties wasn't helping.
Grimmjow slammed open the door, pissed for multiple reasons and the nurse's assistant wasn't exactly being very helpful. The tall woman with light purple hair eyes grew at the sound of the door slamming open to reveal a very dissatisfied Grimmjow. He marched to the back even while she kept on insisting that he doesn't go past a certain point if nothing was wrong with him, but he just brushed her off and continued to look for his childhood best friend.
Seeing Ichigo crumpled together on the bed didn't make him feel any better. He didn't look like he was beaten up which was good, but seeing him there made it clear that something was wrong, that he was sick or injured and he didn't tell him that there was something wrong before leaving that morning. He couldn't tell whether he should be annoyed with Ichigo or relieved that he was being taken care of now so he just resorted to poking at him to try and find out more with that girl Ichigo calls his best friend watching him while the nurse bitched at him about not knowing how to follow directions and how he shouldn't be leaving school early.
It took way too much effort to be allowed to leave with him. It was like they couldn't get it through their thick skulls that it was either he take him home or Ichigo was stranded there in pain since apparently they weren't allowed to take him to a hospital and it wasn't urgent enough to call an ambulance. Even though the nurse was being a bitch the chick that brought Ichigo there didn't even protest when Grimmjow took the initiative. Maybe she wasn't too bad, but that didn't make Grimmjow like her any more. He didn't like Ichigo talking to girls. He may have been a homo, but that doesn't mean that he likes him talking to girls, or guys, or anyone really unless he approved of them, so he didn't like him talking to most people. He was trying to make Ichigo cool so he can't hang around losers. They'll only drag him through the dirt with them. He should only hang out with him.
Grimmjow couldn't wait to get out and rather than borrowing a wheelchair like a normal person he resorted to carrying Ichigo. Why did he do that anyway? To prove some kind of point? Was this some kind of power move? To prove his power to who, that Rukia chick? Using a wheelchair would have saved him some energy. That Rukia girl followed him anyway much to Grimmjow's curiosity and displeasure, until she started to open the doors he couldn't open with a warm, frail body in his arms. Seriously, Ichigo was too light. She also took the responsibility to carry his stuff while he opted to have Ichigo cling to him while he muttered small protests every now and then about how he was able to walk by himself. Grimmjow retorted after every protest before ignoring him, knowing that it was fruitless. His friend didn't say anything in response, unusually quiet even when Ichigo tried to get her attention for a reason that was lost to him.
Grimmjow managed to carry Ichigo through the student parking lot to his car where the girl opened up the passenger seat without him even having to ask her. She didn't say anything until the door was closed with Ichigo and his bag behind it. "You better not be teasing him or something stupid." She said. "If you do anything to hurt him you will be sorry. I don't care how popular you are or who your dad is."
Grimmjow grimaced. He didn't know how she knew about his father since it was kind of a secret since he didn't want to be recognized under the name of his good for nothing father. Also who the hell does she think she is to threaten him? She may have been a nobody, but that didn't give her the right to challenge him. How would he even hurt Ichigo? He thought briefly about the book in his bag and the page he has torn out that rested uncomfortably against his leg from inside his pocket. Was he even planning on giving Ichigo the book to start with? Dammit fine, he won't hurt Ichigo, but he is going to make sure he doesn't get hurt either. There was no way he was going to let Ichigo see that page even when he does give him the book.
"Don't worry about it. You have nothing to do with this?" Grimmjow said turning his back to her and walking around to the driver seat. She stepped back away from the car to allow him to back out of his space. Grimmjow turned to Ichigo to see that he has already drifted off in the seat next to him. His face seemed like he was in pain rather than relaxed even if he was finally able to get some rest.
Despite never having to drive to Ichigo's house from school he didn't need to be given any directions. Driving there felt like second nature from how many times he has driven him home and the amount of times he has rode his bike there when they were younger. He parked on the street, not wanting to take his father's parking space up front nor did he want to claim too much space in front of a clinic despite it being closed with his father's absence.
He shut his car off and reached over to unbuckle Ichigo's seatbelt. Grimmjow held back his sigh in displeasure when he noticed Ichigo stir and without any words, let himself out of the car. Grimmjow called after him telling him that he could carry him, but Ichigo just protested again, stumbling when he threw his heavy backpack over his shoulder. Grimmjow nearly sprinted over to catch him when he saw him sway, but Ichigo threw a glare towards him like he knew what he was thinking and hated being viewed as weak.
Ichigo cocked his head when he recognized Grimmjow following him. "Aren't you going to go back to school?" Ichigo questioned, but was not surprised by Grimmjow shaking his head in the negative.
"Like hell I'm leaving you home alone. If I do then you'll just do work or something and stress yourself out." Grimmjow caught a small bit of coloration on Ichigo's cheeks and the effort he made to hide it by focusing on unlocking the glass door rather than exchange anymore words. The sight made Grimmjow's chest warm up a little and caused a small smile to tug on his face when he realized that he was right and even though Ichigo was changing like any other person he could still read him.
It has been an incredibly long time since he has been inside Ichigo's house. The small clinic hasn't changed much in appearance from the last time he has been there he pondered as he followed Ichigo into the back of the building where he and his family lived. The pictures on the wall were the same, small family photos with Ichigo and his sisters, his entire family, and the photo that was taken on Ichigo's father and mother's wedding day. Grimmjow scanned the wall in curiosity, wondering whether that photo was still there. The smile that was tugging at his lips won the fight when he recognized the small photo of him and Ichigo as children wearing matching outfits in the collage of family photos. They didn't take that one down. He knew that he wasn't forgotten because Ichigo's father vouched for him, but it was nice to see physical proof.
He followed Ichigo upstairs and walked through the door to Ichigo's room. Ichigo threw his bag to the side and flopped down on his bed with his face buried in his pillow groaning.
"Is there anything you need?" Grimmjow asked.
Ichigo turned his head to the side slightly and peeked up at Grimmjow. "Sure, can you go back to school so I could sleep and you won't get in trouble?" Ichigo said with some bitterness in his voice. It may have sounded like an insult and that he was telling Grimmjow to go away, but he knew that the reason why he was acting so coldly was because he felt guilty for Grimmjow having to take responsibility and missing class because of him, either that or he was feeling crabby for feeling like shit.
"I told you that I wasn't going to leave you alone." Grimmjow growled. "Do you want me to get you something to eat?"
Ichigo moaned and buried himself further into his pillow. "I really don't want to think about food right now, food hurts."
Grimmjow rolled his eyes and snarled at Ichigo's response. "Stop being so damn stubborn, you have to freaking eat. I don't give a shit if it hurts. You need food if you're going to get better." He said before leaving Ichigo alone in the room. "I'm going to go get you something and you better eat it."
A/N: Grimmjow may not care who wrote Pillow Thoughts, but I do. It's by Courtney Peppernell. Thanks so much for the support. Keep it up by sharing some love by reviewing, favoriting, or even following.