Vanessa rolled her eyes as her father and his platypus nemesis bickered over the basket of sweets.
"Your boss left these for me, Perry the Platypus! I can eat them if I want!"
"Krkrkrkr!" Perry shook his head with an air of finality, grabbing the basket and walking out of Heinz's reach. He wasn't about to stand by and watch the man who had just recently almost died from heart-related complications gorge on unhealthy snack food. Not until a medical doctor gave the okay, and perhaps created some sort of ration schedule for Perry to ensure the man followed.
"He has a point, Dad. Remember why you're in here?" Vanessa stood up, approached Perry, took the basket, and set it on a table far from her Dad's bed.
"Don't take his side! I'm hungry, and I'm craving peanut butter! If you'll remember, I was willing to share! Come on Vanessa, let me have just one little thing!"
Vanessa gave him the side eye. "You're not asking me to go up against Perry the Platypus, are you? I'm confident that I could beat almost everyone I know in a fight, but I think Perry is an exception. And he really doesn't want you to have that basket, Dad."
There was a tense moment before Heinz and Vanessa both started laughing. The monotreme couldn't help but smile. Perry and Heinz could fight over just about anything and call it "Tuesday". But the mental image of the Secret Agent and teenage girl getting into an actual brawl over a basket of sweets was patently ridiculous, and it broke the tension that had hovered over them since Major Monogram and Carl's abrupt departure nicely.
"It's nice to hear some laughter!" Hikari the nurse entered, pushing a cart with two trays of food. She sat a tray near Vanessa, and the other in front of Heinz.
"Dr. Doofenshmirtz, I have a few pills here that I would like you to take." She handed Heinz a small glass of water and three small tablets before turning back to the cart. "I wasn't sure what you feed your platypus, so I brought a little bowl of unseasoned mashed potatoes. Fun fact, in the wild platypi eat insect larvae that they find in the water using their bills!"
Vanessa slammed her fork down. "Alright, I've been really patient with you since you seem really nice and are, apparently, the only semi-competent person in this hospital. But he has a name. Perry. Use it. At least stick it in front of the phrase, 'the platypus,' alright? And he doesn't want cold, bland potatoes! Go get him a real tray with actual food and utensils!"
"Yes, ma'am." Hikari departed very quickly. Both Heinz and Perry stared at the girl.
"Wow, that was good!"
"It was nothing, Dad."
"No, no! It was something! Did you see the way she fled from your wrath?! It was beautiful! I'm so proud of you, sweetheart."
"I don't see why. It isn't evil to stand up for somebody."
"Well, nooo. But it is evil to be intimidating! So you were a wee bit evil."
"Sure, Dad."
Hikari returned with a third tray. She apologized profusely to both Vanessa and Heinz before speaking directly to Perry. "I'm sorry... Perry. I hope I didn't offend you by... well... here is your tray." She extended the tray toward him. Perry reached forward, gingerly took it, smiled, and tipped his hat. The nurse looked a bit surprised.
"I'll be back with Dr. Miller after you finish eating, Dr. Doofenshmirtz. We'll discuss your condition and some self care tips. After that my shift will end, and I won't be back until tomorrow." She was gone again.
"So Dad, can you tell me the story of the De-Volition-Inator again?" Vanessa asked as she dipped a piece of bread in the gravy of the potatoes. Heinz eagerly began regaling her with stories of the various things he had made Perry do that day, and how the DJ incident had come about.
Perry tuned them out. He had lived it; he didn't need to hear Heinz ramble through the story. But he understood what the teen was doing. She was distracting her father from worrying about whatever it was the physicians were going to say.
As Perry watched the sixteen year old girl talk with her father, he could hardly believe how much she had matured over the past year. Perry had witnessed a lot of people in his life grow and develop over the 'Alternate Dimension' Summer, but the changes that had happened to Vanessa were among the biggest.
At the beginning of summer she had been so cold and distant from her father. Sure, she had agreed to help with a few schemes in exchange for spending money or permission to go to concerts on weekend evenings when she was supposed to be with him, but she had been very unenthusiastic. It had saddened Perry to see the father-daughter relationship in such a rocky state.
She had then gone through a brief "busting" phase. Perry had fully understood her desire to prove to her mother that she hadn't been making up stories for most of her childhood, but he had been glad when the phase ended. Hearing cries of, "Mom! Mom! Mooom!" at regular intervals in both parts of his life had gotten old quickly.
It was around then that things began to change. There were several catalysts. The first was the Sweet Sixteen Birthday Party he had helped Heinz throw for her. The (accidental) success of the party had shown the girl that her father's gaffe's weren't deliberate attempts to embarrass her in front of her friends. They were the honest mistakes of a person who had never quite learned to understand social cues. When Heinz had given her the little doll that had once belonged to Candace, Vanessa had come to realize that though his actions were rarely what she would desire, he had always tried to make her happy.
Vanessa had finally began to come to an understanding with her father in Paris, when Ferb had inspired her to meet Heinz half way. There were still bumps in the road, and their relationship was far from perfect. But Vanessa seemed to finally accept her father for who he was and understand that he wasn't such a bad dad after all. That just as she didn't like it when Heinz superimposed ideas of what a little girl should be like as opposed to what Vanessa was like, she should understand that she didn't have a cookie cutter father.
Perry reflected on the events of today. Vanessa had been so brave and mature. She had dealt with the shock of finding her father collapsed on the floor in the proper way, and handled the situation by herself so well in the hours before Perry's arrival. Even now she was taking it upon herself to distract her father from his problems. Humans matured much slower than platypuses, and Vanessa being so grown up took him by surprise. She was only a year older than Candace, after all. What would Candace be like in a year?
Just as Heinz was finishing his story and the three occupants had nearly cleared their plates, Hikari the nurse and Dr. Miller entered again. Perry had to admire the woman's patience with the motley group in Room 118. She was the only nurse brave enough to deal with them, and she was bending over backwards breaking rules to accommodate their needs. Perry didn't blame her for finding him strange. If he were human, he would probably think an anthropomorphic platypus was bizarre and unnatural too.
Perry took a notepad and pen out of his hat. He wanted to write down everything the nurse said for future reference.
"Hello!" she said cheerily. She moved the disgusting chair with ripped fabric near Heinz's bed and sat down. "So how are you feeling now, Dr. Doofenshmirtz?"
"Oh, much better. I expect I'll probably be going home soon."
"We'll see. After our little chat, I'll draw more blood. Then we can check if your Troponin levels have decreased."
"So, what happened to Dad?"
"He suffered a severe Myocardial Infarction. His heart wasn't receiving enough blood, meaning there wasn't enough oxygen for his heart to function properly. Through your IV's you've been receiving a pain medication that also helps to relieve the heart's stress, and a drug that helps to thin your blood."
"It seems you have Coronary Artery Disease. This means some of your arteries have blockages. The staff put a stent in one major artery last night, but we would like to investigate and see if you need more. In a few weeks when you are stronger, we would like to perform a Cardiac Stress Test."
"A few weeeeeks?!"
"You won't be in the hospital all that time, sir. You'll probably be released on Thursday. But you will have to follow some strict medical orders for several weeks, and have regular check ups. We plan to help you create a diet and exercise plan. A very light cardio workout that will help your heart get stronger without adding too much stress."
"What kind of stuff can't I do?"
"Well, you shouldn't operate any heavy machinery for at least four weeks."
"What?!" Heinz looked dismayed. His life revolved around building and using heavy machinery. These next few months would be very hard on him.
"Yes. No driving, no operating big evil do-dads, nothing. You want to see your little girl graduate from high school, don't you?"
"Well of course! What kind of a question is... fine. No big -Inators, I guess. So, what else can't I do?"
"Well..." Hikari the nurse seemed to be searching for a delicate way to word something. Perhaps because Vanessa was there. "Well, you should refrain from engaging in certain activities for at least four weeks. Until a medical doctor clears you, actually."
"I'm sorry, I don't follow."
"You know, sir. Activities that excite the heart and really get the blood pumping. You know what I mean."
"You mean no scheming?! Or being thwarted?! At all?! No scheming or thwarting at all for four whole weeks?!"
Perry face palmed, and Vanessa snickered. The nurse looked extremely confused.
"Um... well, I'm not sure exactly what you... what does... um... Let's go with 'no' just to be safe."
"I'm not sure I can resist the uuurge to scheme for that long! I don't think we've ever gone that long without... let's just say I'm used to Perry the Platypus thwarting me at least four times a week. You're sure we can't just be gentler and pace ourselves or something?"
"Moving on," Hikari interrupted. She looked very uncomfortable. "Dr. Doofenshmirtz, can you tell me a bit about your current exercise routine?"
"Well, I have this one exercise show I like to watch when I have the time. And I run on a treadmill once in a while. But to be honest, most of my exercise comes from being thwarted by-"
"Moving on," Hikari repeated, "What about your diet? You have high cholesterol and blood pressure. Do you eat lots of fatty foods?"
"Well, I try to eat right. You knoow, sometimes. But those Fireside Girl cupcakes are just so addicting..."
"Okay, we'll work with you at a later time to create a diet that suits your needs. In the meantime, I see someone brought you a gift basket. I suggest you limit yourself to eating one thing a day. And by that I don't mean 'one box of Almond Brittle,' I mean 'one piece of Almond Brittle.'"
Perry gave Heinz a knowing look. "Don't gloat, Perry the Platypus."
"Dr. Doofenshmirtz, do you use any controlled substances? Tobacco, Alcohol?"
"Oh no, I don't smoke! And I don't drink that often. Just on social occasions."
"Do you use any illegal drugs, sir?"
This piqued Perry's curiosity. He had always had suspicions about that day at Lake Nose...
Heinz sputtered a bit. "Well, no. No I... I mean, there was this one incident, but it wasn't really intentional. It's... it's a complicated back story, actually. So, no. For our purposes, no I do not."
"Alright, sir." Perry could tell the nurse didn't really believe him.
"Look, I'm getting really tired of all these questions."
"Okay, Dr. Doofenshmirtz. Let me take another blood sample, then we'll leave you alone for a bit." She took a sample (this time, Heinz had the opportunity to say "Ow") and left with Dr. Miller.
Perry now had a lot more information to work with. It looked as though his nemesis wouldn't need any drastic, major surgeries. That was good. But he would probably need some stents. While that was more of a minor procedure, it was still a bit nerve wracking.
It seemed as though the changes in lifestyle would be the hardest thing to cope with. Perry was much more willing to abstain from the thwarting and the pummeling than Heinz, but he would still miss the exhilaration and feeling of vitality that their encounters provided. Heinz's intensity and stamina in battle had been the first positive traits Perry had ever noticed. Back on his first day as an Agent when he and the scientist had had their first encounter, Perry had been extremely disappointed in the OWCA's choice for him until that very first skirmish started. Then he had been only mildly disappointed. He knew Heinz had experienced what the scientist called "Hate at First Sight" but it had taken longer for Perry to grow accustomed to the man's quirks and develop an appreciation for his unique personality.
Three years later, and Perry was sitting with the man on a hospital bed, helping his family cope with a near tragedy. Three years later, and he couldn't understand why he had ever wished for a more aggressive or threatening nemesis. Three years later, and he would do almost anything to make sure that Heinz would be his only life long enemy.
Perry pulled himself out of his thoughts. Vanessa and Heinz were engaged in another conversation. Perry glanced at the clock on the wall and noticed that it was almost 2:00 PM. He would have to leave in an hour to make it home before the boys.
Perry spent most of his hour listening to them talk, only really interacting if they asked him a direct question or if a detail from an anecdote about a scheme was completely inaccurate. He wasn't sure of the best way to say good bye. He wanted to go home and see his children, but he felt bad about leaving the hospital.
When there were only fifteen minutes left until his departure, Perry thought of an idea. He pulled his notepad and pen back out of his hat and scribbled something on a sheet of paper. He handed the paper to Heinz.
"What's this? Hmmm... 'Things I need from the DEI Building.' Oh, you want us to make a list of stuff for you to go fetch?"
Perry nodded.
"You mean you're leeaaving? When are you coming back?"
Perry shrugged.
"Tonight?"
Perry gave a nod. He would come back briefly in the night after the boys went to bed with things they needed. Then he would leave and return during the following school day. There. He had a plan now.
Heinz and Vanessa created two separate columns, and Perry became glad he had asked them to write their requests. He would have never thought to grab Vanessa's contact solution and cell phone charger, or Heinz's hypoallergenic pillow and grind guard.
When they were finished, Perry took the list and folded it into his hat. It was time to say his good byes. He turned to face his nemesis.
"So, you're going right now?" Perry nodded. The man reached out to grab one of Perry's paws before continuing. "Thank you for everything, Perry the Platypus." Heinz let go, and Perry jumped down from the bed before things could get more awkward. Before leaving, he turned back to Heinz and pointed to the bed.
"Alright, Perry the Nagapus. I'll try to get some sleep."
Perry motioned for Vanessa to follow him into the hallway. She looked surprised, but went with him.
Once in the hallway, Perry gave the teenage girl a second piece of paper he had created just for her.
555-7528
Direct Line to Wrist Communicator
For Emergency Use Only
Never Hesitate to Call in an Emergency
Never Share this Number with your Father
Vanessa looked stunned. "Is this for always, or just while Dad is sick?"
Perry smiled at her. Of course she should contact him in any emergency. It was quicker than going through Carl at the OWCA. She had earned his trust, and he had faith in her judgment. In a perfect future she would never use this number, but Perry felt good knowing she would have access to him at all times.
"How will I know if it's a big enough emergency?"
Perry took the note back and made a small addition before returning it to the girl.
555-7528
Direct Line to Wrist Communicator
For emergency use only.
Never hesitate to call in an emergency.
Never share this number with your Father.
If you consider it an emergency, I consider it an emergency.