A/N: This scene required a lot of rewriting, in Richard III it was first and foremost a pity party, and I tried to carry that over, but my characterization doesn't really fit the bill. The ending held more significance in the play since it deals with the rivalry between the King's family and the Queen's kin, something that isn't nearly as played up in my version.
Act II. Scene ii.
Bowser paced back and forth across the hallway as two Hammer Bros. looked on. Eventually they couldn't stand the silence anymore and one of them spoke up. "Um, you're gonna wear a hole into the floor if you keep this up, yo!"
"Silence!" ordered Bowser.
"He's right, yo!" said the other Hammer Bro. "It's been over an hour and you haven't even commented on the news, yo!"
"I'll comment on it when I want to!" growled Bowser, walking up to a nearby window and staring angrily off into the night sky.
"He's in de-Nile," said the first Hammer Bro. to the second.
"I am not!" snapped Bowser, glaring at his two attendants.
"He's totally in de-Nile," agreed the second Hammer Bro.
"Yeah, the water's up to his neck," joked the first one.
"Heh, say 'hi' to Cleopatra for us, yo!" called the second one to Bowser.
"Cut it out!" roared the ex-king, turning away from the window and menacingly advancing on the Hammer Bros. "You stupid, lazy, good-for-nothing-"
"Don't forget insubordinate, yo! We're WAY insubordinate!"
"And precocious – we're the most precocious guards around, yo!"
"Grr, Shut Up!" bellowed Bowser. "I'm not in denial, let's see YOU handle your son's death any better!"
"We don't have any sons to cry about, yo!"
"Or daughters, yo! We just have each other!"
"Yeah, and we're not going to go killing each other neither, yo!"
"What's that supposed to mean?" growled Bowser.
"You know, yo! Everyone's talking about it."
"Yeah, yo! About how King Roy was the one who had Morton killed."
"Humph, Roy's about as heartless as you can get, but he'd never kill his little brother, or any of his other siblings," protested Bowser.
"But Bowser Jr. saw the order, yo! He says it's genuine."
"Yeah, and Toad was there when everyone else found out about it and he says Kammy said the order was official too, yo!"
"Kammy's just a crazy old hag – you can't trust what she says, and you can't trust Junior neither," said Bowser.
"Really? 'Cause he's been making a lot of sense recently, yo!"
"Yeah, if you're right about ol' King Roy, then that paper must've been forged, yo!"
"Or some other sorta trick, yo! But either way you'd need some crafty guy ta pull it off, yo!"
"And Junior's been saying that Kammy fits the bill, yo!"
"Except she's not a guy, she's a girl, or something like that, yo!"
"That's crazy, Kammy may be old and senile but she'd never plot to kill my kids!" said Bowser, outraged at the idea.
Suddenly the door flew open and Kammy herself came ricocheting through on her broom with Lakitu and Lemmy (atop a dull black ball) in hot pursuit.
"Speak of the devil, yo!" muttered the first Hammer Bro.
"Literally, yo!" agreed the second one before Bowser silenced them both with one of his famous 'looks-that-could-kill'.
"What is it Kammy?" he asked.
"It's horrible, Your ex-Highness! Just horrible!" wailed Kammy, too upset to think of a creative title for Bowser.
"What is!" he demanded.
"Roy is dead!" she shrieked. "And less than a day after poor Morton!"
"No," gasped Bowser. "But, but I thought you said that purple firebrand of Mario's wasn't fatal, even if Roy didn't have my natural defenses."
"I know! It shouldn't have killed him: I don't know why it did!" said Kammy tearfully. She cared deeply about the Koopalings, almost as much as Bowser did himself.
Bowser growled in frustration. A week ago that would have yielded a small flare, or at the very least a puff of smoke escaping his nostrils, but because of Mario's purple Firebrand, Bowser's fire was gone. Even the flame-red colour of his hair was fading to grey, and nobody knew why. Kammy had figured that since the Star's lost their influence in the confusion of the war, Mario and Luigi had turned to more earthly kinds of magic, and perhaps used some sort of ancient spell to grant them their new powers. Now Mario had cost Bowser his strongest son even after the accursed plumber was dead. The only reason Luigi hadn't taken anyone with him when he died was because Junior stabbed him in the back – the green-clad human never got a chance to hit him with his eerie blue Thunderbrand that had robbed quite a few Koopa Troopas of their magic.
As Bowser brooded, Kammy continued her lamentation. "If only I knew more about how they got their power! I could have saved Roy! I could have saved your power! And then Morton wouldn't have been killed by Roy's delirium!"
"Don't beat yourself up Kammy," sighed Bowser. Although he was loathed to admit it, he cared about Kammy and didn't want to see her this way.
"It's just so terrible."
"Tell me about it," said Bowser. "Morton was as good as a computer when it came to information storage and retrieval, and a little less irritating than one too. But only a little. And Roy, well, he wasn't the greatest king ever, but he was a great general – not like Ludwig the pacifist, or Lemmy the court-jester… uh, no offence."
"Some taken," said Lemmy flatly.
"Junior's no longer trustworthy," continued Bowser, ignoring his second oldest son. "Larry may be a good strategist, and he's better in public these days, but he could never choke up the nerve to be King, and Iggy and Wendy…"
"Are vain and spoiled – or Wendy is anyway, but they're also clever, and Iggy's a genius," said Bowser Jr. entering the hallway through the door Kammy had left ajar. Behind him followed Larry, Ludwig, Kamek and Petey Piranha.
"Come to ask for the crown again, Junior?" growled Bowser. When Kammy declared him unfit to rule, Junior had immediately asked his father to betray the age-old tradition of giving the first-born the crown. He had asked again after Ludwig and Lemmy had both abdicated, saying Roy was an army general, not a king. But it was Junior's third bid for the throne that resulted in his falling out with Bowser Sr.: when Roy fell ill, Junior had pointed out that he was now as unfit to rule as Bowser had been. The ex-King if the Koopas was outraged at how his youngest son seemed almost gleeful about his brother's misfortune, and refused to force Roy to end his reign. And Bowser wasn't about to give into Junior's fourth bid for the crown either.
But to his surprise, Junior shook his head. "No Papa, we've been down that road too many times. In fact, I would like to ask for you to forgive all of my indiscretions on the matter. I took Roy for granted and now that he and Morton are gone I can't help but feel like such a pig-headed idiot for all the things I've done. Family is more important than power, and I should've known that long ago."
"You can say that again," scoffed Bowser. "But I suppose I could have raised you a bit better – instead of hoping I could get Peach to help me, I should've just sucked it up and been a good parent on my own. Let's just hope we've put all those problems behind us."
"Thanks Papa," said Junior, bowing his head respectfully.
Bowser just regarded him coolly, not fully believing his son's act, and an awkward silence fell. Larry then stepped forward to end it. "Uh, now that that's out of the way, we should call Iggy back to the castle, since he is next in line for the crown."
"And it vould be reasonable to assume zat he vill not abdicate," said Ludwig.
"It would also be reasonable to assume that Wendy would like to be here for the coronation as well," added Junior.
"More than you know," muttered Lemmy, drawing curious glances from the others in the room.
When he didn't offer an explanation, Larry continued speaking. "Uh, well, Iggy is working at the University of Koopa back home, um, dismantling and copying Mushroom Kingdom weaponry, if I'm not mistaken. And Wendy is off in Sarasaland making sure those citizens are adjusting to Koopan rule smoothly."
"Right, I vill have zem both sent for straight avay," said Ludwig, turning to leave.
"Wait a minute Luddy," said Larry. "You might want to keep this under wraps, just in case someone tries to make a move on our would-be king, and his sister."
"If that's the case, my Toadies should take over the responsibility of informing them directly," volunteered Kamek.
"Why? So they can inform the assassins about where they should point their guns on the way?" hissed Kammy.
"Humph, whatever happened to those vows of peace we made for Roy?" patronized Junior.
"They still stand, but we never promised to get along," growled Kammy, still glaring at Kamek.
"Yes, and that being said, I think it would be fitting if I go put the messages in order right now – before you can go and make any more outrageous accusations about my loyalty to the throne," huffed Kamek, turning away from Kammy and summoning his broom to leave.
Kammy opened her mouth to say something but Ludwig beat her to it. "I vould still like to be a part of zis, Kamek. Zat vay, Kammy vill not have to vorry about anyzing. Of course, I'm not saying zat you vill do anyzing unsanctioned vizzout my supervision – it's just to appease zee Royal Advisor."
"I understand Ludwig," said Kamek before turning to Kammy. "And I hope his participation will put your withered old mind at rest."
"It does. Thank you, Ludwig," responded Kammy, turning away to leave at the far doors before calling back over her shoulder. "And I hope you find some rest too Kamek, Rest In Peace!"
"Ha ha, very funny," said Kamek before flying out of the room with Ludwig jogging behind.
Kammy laughed and mounted her own broom, flying out of the room (through a different door than Kamek and Ludwig took).
"Wait!" called Lemmy, rolling after her on a new camoflage-patterned ball, with Lakitu floating behind him. "We're coming with you!"
"Me too!" shouted Bowser running heavily out of the room, calling back to the Hammer Bros. as he went: "you guys are dismissed!"
"Thanks, yo!" said the first one.
"All right, we've got the whole night off! Yo!" cheered the second Hammer Bro.
With a triumphant high-five, the two of them then ran off in the same direction Kamek and Ludwig had went, and after saying goodbye to Junior and Larry, Petey Piranha followed them out.
Once they were alone, Larry turned to Junior. "It's been a long day: we should turn in early tonight."
"Good idea, but before you hit the hay, try to dig up some dirt on Lemmy – I want to know what he knows about Iggy and Wendy: we could use it to our advantage," said Junior.
"Yes, if the scandal's juicy enough, they may loose the crown, no matter what Dad says," mused Larry, knowing full well Junior's history with their father.
"That would be good," grinned Junior. "But I'll leave that to you: you're way better at that sorta stuff than me."
Larry nodded and the two devious brothers went their separate ways, both wondering how they could ensure that Iggy and Wendy were removed from the picture as soon as possible.