The Truth

One Tree Hill Lucas/Peyton w/ mention of Naley/Brooke&?/Lucas&Lindsay

Author's note: Okay, so it's 12:44 am and I should most likely be sleeping. Tomorrow's going to be a long day and some sleep might help. But those darn muses ... inspiration is hitting me in waves. Oh, and I should probably be doing the papers that were due a while ago too... but creative writing is so much more easier to me than research papers. Oh well. I started this a while ago (the day I submitted the last chapter actually) but life and homework and laziness got in the way . . . anyway I just the got inspiration again---thank god!---to finish it and I really like how it turned out. So . . . this one's for you guys (and girls).

Enjoy!

~*~

Chapter 6: The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most

So . . . this is it. Today on this day I will step foot back in Tree Hill, North Carolina. It's been well over four years and I was a completely different person then than I am now. Back then I was just out of high school, I was in love with the man I thought I could spend the rest of my life with, I was on my way to an internship that promised to grant my dream of running my own record label, and I had survived a hell of a lot in high school and felt on top of the world.

In the moment I stepped out of Brooke's car-an upgrade from the VW-Beetle she had in high school; a classy and most likely expensive suburban-I realized how emotionally and mentally broken I was and what had led to it . . . my heart had been shattered into thousands of tiny pieces and I didn't have the strength to clean it up.

I literally lost the person I used to be . . . and I hoped that Tree Hill would help me get it back.

~*~

"We're here!" Brooke's voice barely registered in Peyton's ears.

They had passed the "Welcome to Tree Hill" sign about fifteen minutes ago. She'd fitfully ignored it and focused on the sling she had on her arm—for her still-healing shoulder. The last six weeks had been hell. The longest she'd ever spent in the hospital was four days--her senior year of high school when she'd been shot-and even then she'd had problems. Her time in the hospital this time around had been filled with fatigue, boredom, pain, and a nervous anxiousness for when she'd eventually arrive in her hometown.

Well here they were. They were apparently about five minutes from the house Brooke had bought for them. Good. Peyton desperately could use a nap that wasn't lined with paper sheets. "We in Tree Gill now Mommy?" Anna asked from the back seat.

Brooke looked back in the mirror as she drove, "Remember it's Tree Hill sweetie."

"Oh," Anna said.

"Yeah dummy," Justin snickered. "Tree Hill."

Brooke looked to Peyton to scold him but the blonde continued to stare at her sling.

"Ow! Mommy, Justin pull my hair!" Anna cried, rubbing her dark curls.

Peyton still didn't say a word. Brooke sighed. "Kids, you need to behave while Godmomma Brooke is driving. And Justin . . . don't pull your sister's hair or call her a dummy. Now say you're sorry."

"Sorry," Justin mumbled-barely incoherently.

"Didn't I tell you two to behave today? Your mommy just got out of the hospital and I'm sure she doesn't want to hear the two of you fight," Brooke said.

"Yes, Godmomma Brooke," The twins said together, each turning away from each other. Justin went back to his superman action figure and Anna picked up a tiny comb from the seat and began brushing her baby doll.

"Thank you," Brooke said.

Even though she hadn't said anything Peyton had indeed heard the entire exchange among the three of them. She knew she should have said something . . . but she was just so exhausted and nervous to respond.

The car turned into a driveway and Brooke stopped the car. "Home sweet home." Anna and Justin were still pouting in the backseat. Brooke turned to Peyton. "Need some help getting out? And don't worry about your stuff. The three of us can handle it. Right kids?" A mixture of 'yeah, yeah's' filtered from the back. "See?"

"I'm fine," That had been Peyton's famous line for the last few months. She was always . . . fine. Never good. Never great. Just . . . fine. She wondered if anyone would ever notice that she wasn't fine. She was quite the opposite.

"You sure?" Brooke tilted her head.

"Yeah. Just tired," Peyton said in her best convincing voice. Why should anyone have to know that she was on the verge of a meltdown?

"Okay then," Brooke shrugged and pulled the keys out and unbuckled. "Okay kids gather up your stuff and bring it in the house. Then I want you to come back and help me with your mommy's stuff."

Suddenly excited, the twins raced like tornadoes to get out of the car—carrying their toys too—and disappeared into the house.

"They probably just remembered the surprise we got you yesterday. They each picked them out themselves," Brooke explained, grabbing her purse. Peyton nodded and unbuckled herself (with thankfully not as much difficulty as she'd had buckling it when they'd left the hospital).

This was it. It was time to get out of the car and step on Tree Hill soil—or cement as the case may be. The car had carried her there . . . but now it was time to stand on her own two feet. With the buckle safely unlatched, she reached over her slinged-arm and opened the door.

There it was. She could see Tree Hill with her own two eyes and not behind the glass from inside the car. It didn't really look any different from Los Angeles . . . or from when she'd last been there. She was sure it felt different though.

There she was. She lifted her tired leg and it landed softly on the hard ground. She sat there for a moment, contemplating the feeling. It was rough . . . and when she pushed down it sent sparks of pain up her leg. She swung her other leg over and it too hit the ground. She could feel a tension in the air and in the way her feet touched the ground. The tension and even hostility were thick, almost like a blanket . . . not even a knife could cut through it. She didn't think she'd ever felt this much at one time.

"Take it slow, P. Sawyer. There's no rush," Brooke told her. The twins ran out and went up to Brooke's side of the car, ready to help carry. They watched their mother in intrigue.

This was the moment of truth. Peyton swung her body and used her un-slinged arm to scoot to the edge of the seat. With a woosh she leaned forward and pushed with her good hand and stood up . . . all obviously too fast due to the incredible dizziness that clouded her brain as soon as she was upright. She swayed a little, her ears ringing and no sound coming from anywhere else. Her vision blurred and she continued to sway.

That was when she realized just how deeply she'd screwed up her life. She was a broken woman now . . . she'd let herself become the victim—which is something she'd never done in high school. Even with all the horrible things—2 lost mothers, boyfriends that ignored or left or didn't wait for her, a father who was never around, a best friend who cut her out, a psycho-stalking fake-brother who attacked her twice, and a real brother who she'd just met but left shortly after---after all those things she'd always fought back. She'd never ever let those things cut her down to the point where she lost herself . . . Until now. Now was the worst time ever to lose herself because she had two adorable children that needed and relied on her for everything and she'd never had the strength to pick herself up and take care of them properly.

Those were the reasons she was here now. That was why she was so broken. There was no doubt about the fact that Peyton Sawyer was in the black . . . and didn't know how to get out.

The world continued to spin and blur as Brooke, Anna, and Justin's shouts and cries registered in her mind before everything faded . . .

~*~

Okay, I know that people passing out in a story is so cliché . . . but this is my life. It happened to me . . . and it represents just how low I was. With that said . . . on to when I wake up. But who was it who stood over my bed as I regained consciousness?

~*~

"Well hello there," A soft, caring voice whispered as Peyton began to awaken. The voice was also familiar. "I'm guessing this is feeling a little like deja vu right now." Her eyes opened. It was Deb Scott-well, Deb Lee now, with her divorce from Dan. What was she doing here? "I know, not who you were expecting."

No kidding.

"I'm not really sure either, but I'm guessing there was no one else," Deb said

Peyton was still confused.

"Brooke called me after she called for an ambulance when you collapsed on the driveway," Deb explained. "She's with the kids downstairs trying to calm them down." Peyton took a deep breath and tried to sit up. She was really getting sick of waking up in hospitals.

"Do you know why I collapsed?" Peyton asked.

"I think Brooke said something about dehydration and exhaustion mixed with stress . . . or something like that," Deb told her. "I know I haven't really been a presence in your life since you dated Nathan—and even then I was never around—but I'm here now. Just let me know if you need anything. And I'd be willing to babysit Justin and Anna any time."

Peyton nodded. Then: "Wait, you know their names?"

"Brooke," Deb said. "She told me about everything. The car crash, the kids...even who their father is." Peyton sighed. "He doesn't know, does he?"

"No," Peyton shook her head. "He doesn't. I haven't told him yet. He doesn't even know we're here."

Deb nodded. Peyton could just tell she was disappointed. She didn't say anything but Peyton just knew it. She'd wanted to tell him a few weeks after the twins had been born. He called her out of the blue and said his book—An Unkindness of Ravens—was having a book signing in L.A. and it would be nice if she could come. She'd had it all planned. She was going to tell him about Justin and Anna and they'd get back together. She even dressed up and wore a nice summer dress she knew he'd like—something she hadn't done for ages with the whole 'being pregnant' thing.

What happened? Well...she showed up at the signing . . . and saw some tall leggy brunette kiss him. Did she wait for an explanation? Of course not. She high-tailed it faster than you could say 'I told you so.' She hadn't heard from anyone from Tree Hill since. Well, until she decided to get into a car accident.

"They're beautiful," Deb smiled, looking at the picture of Justin and Anna on the bedside table. "Your kids. They definitely inherited the Scott gene for good looks." Peyton smiled politely. "But they also look so much like you."

"I think Justin got his Uncle Nathan's cockiness," Peyton chuckled. Deb's face lit up. "But Anna . . . she's very much her father's daughter. She's quiet and even though she can't quite read yet . . . she loves to be read to. And her taste in music makes her mama proud. They're a dream, they really are . . . but they're getting older and it's getting hard to do it by myself."

"It seems that Brooke is more than willing to help you out. She adores those two," Deb said. "And I'm here too."
"Thanks, Deb. That's really nice of you," Peyton yawned. Ugh . . . she felt so exhausted.

"Tired?" Deb observed.

"A little," Peyton admitted.

"I should go anyway. I promised Haley I'd go relieve . . . the babysitter," Deb told her. "Jamie can be quite a handful when he wants to be." Peyton imagined that was true if 4-year-old Jamie was anything like his cousins. Apparently they'd also gotten the Scott gene for hyperness and an over abundance of energy. The older blonde stood up and started walking toward the door.

"Deb?" Peyton said.

"Yes, Peyton?" Deb said.

"Thanks for coming," Peyton said. "And . . ."

"Your secret's safe with me. Wait until you know you're ready and then tell them," With that, Deb was out the door.

~*~

"Okay, P. Sawyer, this time we're going to do this without you passing out and needing another visit to the hospital. Got it?" Brooke got out of the car and went over to Peyton's side to open the door.

"That's the plan," Peyton told her. Brooke held on to Peyton's good arm as the blonde began to get up and finally touched down on the cement.

"Step one standing . . . complete," Brooke said. Peyton went to turn around to grab her bag but Brooke shook her head. "I will get that once I've got you in the house and off your feet. Let's just worry about getting you in first."

Peyton took her first steps on Tree Hill cement (not counting the last time when she passed out). All seemed to be going well. Brooke led her toward the door and within a few steps Peyton was walking on her own. The kids were with Deb at the zoo. Brooke, Peyton, and Deb had all agreed that it would be easier and less stressful for Peyton to go home without her hyperactive twins to worry about. At this point, Peyton wasn't arguing anymore.

"Step two first steps . . . check," The two slowly but surely made their way up the path and up the stairs (with a 2-minute stop due to a dizzy spell). "Step three stairs . . . defeated with minor complications," They were finally at the door. "You're gonna love this place, P. Sawyer. We were lucky the buyer backed out last minute." Peyton was sure the house would be great . . . But it wasn't home. It wasn't her dad's old place with her infamous red bedroom and it didn't have Lucas . . . so it could never be home. Peyton loved her best friend dearly for trying though.

Brooke opened the door and the two walked in. The living room was off to the right. There was a full-length brown couch with the back facing where the two girls were. Adjacent to the couch on the far side was a smaller brown loveseat. There were darker brown pillows on either side of both of the couches. On the other adjacent side was a large television and entertainment center with an impressive DVD and CD collection and in the middle was rectangular glass table with a vase of flower-daisies-as a centerpiece.

"Brooke, this is amazing!" Peyton exclaimed.

"I know, right?" Brooke was all smiles. It was amazing how something so small could make Brooke so happy. "You haven't even seen the rest of the house yet either!"

"Whoa…another dizzy spell…" Peyton stopped and Brooke grabbed onto her arms. "I'm good…"

"Time for Momma P. to sit down now," Brooke's voice was teasing but still serious. 'Momma P.' was the new nickname Brooke had come up with for Peyton. It suddenly reminded Peyton of the nickname Brooke had come up with for Haley when their other friend had found she was pregnant their senior year of high school--Tutormom. Oh god…Haley…she was sure to be pissed with Peyton for not telling any of them about the twins. Peyton slowly made her way to the fabulous couch--with Brooke's help of course--and plopped her butt down. Boy it felt good to sit down. "There we go . . . I can breathe again!" The two chuckled.

Peyton grinned, just as happy as Brooke that she was finally sitting down. Since the accident she realized just how much she and everyone else took 'walking' for granted. It was a simple concept that never took toddlers (including the twins) that long to grasp . . . put one foot in front of the other . . . But when you have to re-learn it as an adult it seemed like the hardest task in the world.

"Okay . . . You should lie down and rest. Take a nap," Brooke suggested. "I'll go get your bag and then I'll make us some dinner." Peyton nodded as she took off her shoes and lay down. She was asleep within moments . . . Drifting into a wonderful dream that starred her, Lucas, Justin, and Anna having a family picnic at the park . . .

To Be Continued…

P.S. Okay so no drama quite yet with the Scotts or Lindsay . . . but I wanted Peyton coming home to be about her and her kids and not Lucas or the others. So . . . did ya like it?