All Rights to Hiro Mashima

BEWARE! LAHAR IS A DUMBASS! SHOPPING SPREES! HORNY MEN AND LINGERIE!

~ Tattoo ~

In which stories are told, ink is considered, and ERA finally meets their match in Lucy.

"Erza, do you think that hit was entirely necessary? I mean it was clean, but now half his face is bruised to shit. He does have an image to uphold."

Laxus chucked a frozen bag of peas and a clean dish rag at Natsu's head – who tried to catch it, but failed due to his messed up depth perception – and pouted at both his trainer and PR Director.

Lucy tutted beside him while he crossed his arms like a petulant child and held up the makeshift ice pack to his damaged cheek, eye and jaw bone. "I agree with Sparky on this one Ms Erza, it was entirely uncalled for."

"Oi! What did I say about calling me Sparky, Blondie?"

The tiny blonde woman whipped her head around and gave him a piercing glare. "What did I say about calling me Blondie, Sparky?" Strangely enough, the two blondes in the bar had formed a seriously…fast brother-sister bond over the course of the night. But, it didn't really surprise anyone after the marriage bomb dropped on them.

Considering who was involved – new girl Lucy who was a sweetheart and flame addicted Natsu who loved fighting more than he loved food – could you blame them for being a little confused?

"Shit. Alright…Mavis…Touché. Damn, Natsu. You've found a little spit fire haven't you?" Laxus' implications, while not entirely lewd, were so obvious a child could hear the innuendo in his voice.

Before Natsu could say anything to back up his wife – and subsequently put his foot in his mouth, or up his ass or somewhere else unpleasant – Lucy tossed back a flippant "Oh you have no idea," and the issue was dropped, but the Thunder God looked down on her with pride.

Erza, on the contrary, kept at the original problem, ever the one with the single track mind. "NATSU!" She barked in her no nonsense tone that had Gray slinking away to hide behind Elfman. He was a relatively slim man, he was confident the sheer size of the middle Strauss would be enough to keep him from view because if he knew one thing for certain…it was to duck and cover when her voice got all commanding like that.

Unless you were Jellal, who apparently liked her like that, which was confirmed by the downright star struck dreamy look he was shooting his wife.

"Care to explain why you took advantage of this woman?" Then she gave a small gasp and looked even more demonic than before. "Did you sully her honour?"

To most everyone else, it sounded like Erza was accusing Natsu of forcing Lucy to be his wife, or to be with him or something of that nature – which he didn't! It was only a suggestion and she agreed heartily! – but Natsu knew that she was talking about his deportation problem and not…ugh he couldn't even think about forcing Lucy to anything against her will. She'd kick him in the nuts with her stupidly perfect roundhouse, then steal his cat and then divorce the ever loving shit out of him in a single second.

Probably.

She was a force to be reckoned with.

Lucy guffawed loudly. And then snorted in a display of un-lady-like behaviour that it had him wondering why he hadn't found her sooner. She was just so Lucy. So weird. "You think—ppfttt…you think Natsu forced me into marriage? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! He's the nicest, kindest, sweetest man I've ever met!"

While he did enjoy the things she was saying…his family was absolutely glowing at the phrases. He would never hear this down. He was supposed to be some badass MMA fighter. He wasn't kind. Or sweet.

Then he looked at Lucy and all he could think about was dropping a kiss on her forehead, push that single piece of hair that came loose from her bun back behind her ear, rub her feet and brew her some tea or something like that.

Natsu sniffed. Fine. He was sweet.

But only for his wife. Because damn did she deserve someone like that and he was all too willing to be that man. He wanted to dote on her constantly because he knew she would do the same thing for him right back.

Erza deflated a bit under Lucy's blatant display of incredulous laughter. "Well…yes? Did he even tell you about his problem?" She whispered the last word in an effort to be mysterious, but all it achieved was that most of his friends probably thought he had like…and STI or an incurable disease or Gods forbid…problems with his downstairs Dragon.

Which was so uncool…he didn't even know what to say. Because his Dragon was perfectly fine thank you very much and worked wonderfully if the memories of Lucy's pants and strangled moans from their first night together was anything to go by. He almost wanted to say that, but at the last moment decided not to, that would definitely go too far in front of everyone.

Luckily he didn't have to say anything because Lucy had it well under control.

"Of course. It was one of the first things he told me…errr…sort of. Might have actually screamed it at me to be quite honest. I told you, I had a problem too and this solution sorted it out, mutually."

The blank look everyone was giving them was enough for Lucy to sigh and then try to begin the story from the very start, from when Natsu had asked her out for drinks and her life completely changed.

Before she could even get one syllable out, a tanned arm dropped over her shoulder after two ales were slammed down on the wooden table in front of both her and Natsu. One look at who it was had both of them scowling, then pushing the alcohol away from them as quickly as possible.

"Don't worry Titania. It was totally consensual and completely, nauseatingly adorable. You should have seen the looks these two were giving each other. I wanted to puke from the cuteness." If Cana noticed their hesitance to drink in her presence, she didn't speak a word on the subject.

"Wait. Cana…"

Lucy ripped open her purse and produced – magically because she was obviously Mary Poppins – the entire folder of marriage documents and showed their resident drunk the squiggly signature on the witness line. "Is that yours?"

"Oh yeah. That was me. I stood up and witnessed the whole sappy shebang." She pointed to a blob of chestnut brown in the corner of the picture laid out on the table. "Look! There I am!"

"Uh huh. Alright, I'll believe that…but why didn't you say anything to anyone about it!? I expected to get a lot of grief from everyone, but my lacrima was almost completely empty when I turned it on three days later." Natsu looked genuinely confused.

For an answer, Cana swiped one of the ales off the table and pointed down to where her girlfriend was slowly waking up after having fainted. "It's hard to get her to do that anymore. And…I wanted to see everyone's faces really. I told them that you had something to do and you would be back before they knew it. Erza gave you five days before she said she would come for you personally." She shrugged then downed the pint in one go, slamming it back onto the wooden bench-top after she was done and belched. "I had a bet going with Erik to see who could make Mira faint like that again it first anyway and I win," she made grabby hands at Cobra who grumbled about getting her money to her tomorrow.

Mira pouted. "Unfair Cana. But, I agree that it was better this way. You know I love surprises." She dropped a wink at her girlfriend, her blue eyes shimmering with delight. "I'll forgive you, but only if you buy me something pretty with your winnings."

"You betcha babe. I'll buy you something so fucking pretty I'll have to rip it right off you."

The room dissolved into disgusted groans and wolf whistles and a single 'that's how you treat a man!' from Elfman in the corner. Natsu was incredulous that Cana would do something like that for him but realised it was in her own best interest after all. Sometimes he envied the bartender. She was so bold and brash and didn't give a flying fuck about anyone else except her family and her girl. Natsu decided he wanted to act like that towards Lucy a little more. Tell her exactly how he made her feel all the time.

No secrets between them right?

Later in the week, he would search the internet for the video of him and Lucy to find that nothing existed online. (He would go on to pay Cana's tab for a whole month – he could afford it after all – for all she had done for him and Lucy.)

(Natsu would continue to ponder the mystery of how not one of his friends ever saw the videos of him attacking Lucy with his mouth in the middle of the lobby of Galuna Island casino off and on for the next few months. It wouldn't be for almost a year and a half when he found out that Moka – the owner – had confiscated and deleted all incriminating photography and videos off his patron's lacrima coms, something that he did for all his favourites, and possibly as a wedding present to the man who managed to make him millions in one night.)

Erza snapped her fingers in front of Lucy's face to get her back to the present conversation. "Lucy, I don't mean to be insensitive, but I wanted to hear the full story and I need to know soon so I know how much damage control to do. Natsu is very fond of making my life harder when it needs to be."

"Fine. Just…listen alright and please…don't…uhm…ask me any questions until I'm done alright?"

Most nodded and hunkered down for the best story of that year, letting the sounds of the bar and grill wash over them like white noise.

Lucy spun a tale of drunken challenges and dancing, yelling over music and telling secrets. When she dropped the name Heartfilia, most in the room blinked or coughed at the realisation, but left it at that, which Lucy was grateful for.

She skipped over the incredible drunken sex – twice! – And went straight in for the kill with how they had woken up and pieced it all together.

Then learning about one another. At this, Natsu had pulled Lucy into her lap and she curled into his warmth again like she just…belonged there…all while she continued to speak. Mira let out a coo that was echoed throughout the bars females, but that was it.

Her father was a major hurdle for her, and she was glad that Natsu stepped in to tell a little of that story when the emotions were too thick in her throat. He was still her father, even if he was being a bit of a bastard, so it stung…but not as bad as it should've. Her husband seemed to be a balm to her aching emotions, and she was alright with that.

Packing. Mailing. Train ride. Moving into Natsu's house.

There was so much to the tale, so many different things had happened that it seemed to stretch over years instead of just mere days.

All in the room could agree at the end though, with the way that their pink-haired pyro friend was stroking his new wife's hair, and the endearing smile on her face, no one could say that they hadn't been meant to meet, or fall in love or get married.

No one could ever speak up and say it was too soon.

The only objection came from the girls who stated that she deserved a 'real wedding.' Slightly bewildered and extremely apprehensive, Lucy watched at the She-Devil and Titania dove right into colour schemes while Levy – in all her penguin waddling glory – donned her favourite red glasses and started to speed read through a pile of bridal magazines. Gajeel watched half amused half annoyed as his fiancé was more invested in someone else's wedding.

But he couldn't really complain. He knew his Shrimp wanted to push out his shorty first then get back to all that girly frilly stuff. She wanted to be a mom first and deal with all that other crap later, and he liked the way that sounded. Although, Salamander might have been on the right track with the whole elopement thing…

"I don't think I've ever felt true fear until now." The shivers down Lucy's back were definitely not from her close proximity to Natsu this time around. She hadn't had many woman friends, and all these amazing people were doing something for Lucy before even being asked. (If she had been asked, she would have told them cream and lilac for the colours, but no one did so she just kept her mouth shut.)

"Welcome to my world Luce. You'll get used to it. The best way to deal with it is to just go along with Erza and it'll go away soon enough. Or offer her strawberry cake. If it's Mira, talk about babies…gets her teary every time."

"I still kinda want to run away though. I don't wanna think about china patterns at the moment… I'd rather be home."

He gave her a look, one that she was so used to as if he was trying to stare into her soul or something equally amazing. "You sure Luce? You okay?"

She gave a tiny yawn as an answer, trying but failing to keep unseen behind a hand. "I'm alright. Just wanna curl up and go to sleep beside my Dragon."

Natsu didn't need to be told twice. His wife wanted to go home – their home – and he was all too happy to oblige. So he picked her up caveman style, to which she seemed a bit perturbed about being hauled about like a sack of potatoes if her fists pummeling his back was any indication, but he didn't care and with a final salute and a smile he darted out of the bar cackling at the way she shrieked.

He tucked his snoring wife under the covers on their bed – seriously, the woman made growling bears sound quiet – shot off a placating text to Erza about sending Lucy on a shopping spree with the woman tomorrow, when she demanded to know where the future bride was.

He fell asleep to thoughts about what he would ask Lucy to do seeing as she lost their little bet tonight. She had yet to model those white panties for him as well. Suddenly, a horny light bulb moment crashed into his brain.

Natsu was thinking slutty lingerie.

He was also definitely thinking lace, and it had to be red.

-ooo-

In the early moment between dawn and we-have-to-get-up-cause-the-sun-is-stupid-bright, found Lucy splayed over Natsu's prone form on their shared bed. They were only in their underwear, but it felt natural and easy.

The blonde was like a barnacle, stuck to his front while he gently pushed his hands through her hair. But he didn't mind. There weren't peaceful moments like these when he was younger, or even just a full year ago.

So he relished in their body heat, and the way her shoulders curved gently into her neck and the shadows that played across her cheekbones when her amber eyes were half-closed in contentment.

She was watching her own fingers drift and slide over the skin of his arm, all the way to his wrist and back to his shoulder again. It didn't take long for him to figure out she was tracing his tattoo, the Dragon that she was so fond of. It was his favourite too, so he could understand. He especially loved that she had given him a nickname because of it, he hadn't ever had one that wasn't an insult before.

Lucy was the one who broke the stillness of that morning, not knowing that she wouldn't have a moment to herself for practically the next two days straight. "Why a Dragon Natsu?"

"Cause they're awesome?" He scoffed, almost as if she should know the answer to her ridiculous question.

"Yes. I know. But a tattoo means something to people. I think this one means a lot to you."

He gulped a little as memories made their way into the foreground of his mind. "You're right." He whispered the words as if something would break if he spoke too loudly. "It does mean something. I got him for my father."

"You remember him?"

"Of course. Igneel. His hair was so red, like flames and his eyes were always so sharp and cunning. But I know he loved me. Before…"

She raised her head at his hesitance. "Natsu. You don't—"

He stopped her with a kiss to her forehead. "I know. Thanks…but I know I should talk about it to someone, and you're my wife." A small cheeky grin spread across his face for a moment. "You deserve to know everything about me."

No secrets. Nothing between them. Not even ghosts.

"Alright." So she waited patiently for him to continue, and he did after he collected his thoughts and pulled her body closer to him. Either for comfort or stability, she didn't know, possibly both, but that was alright because she could be his anchor, his rock if he needed.

"I lived in Seven like I told you before until Gramps found me and my brother on the streets. I was fighting some older kids, but what he didn't know was that I was homeless at the time, and we were fighting over food that I had stolen. They wanted it, but I went through the trouble of finding it, but that's the way it worked. The strong picked on the weak, so I had to become strong before my time. We all had too. Poverty and hungry ran rampant through that country from a plague ten years before. It still affected us, even then. Before all that though, there was Igneel. He was amazing Luce. I wish you could have met him, I know you would have loved him. We all lived together, loved each other, and he was the best dad anyone could ask for. We didn't have a lot from what I can remember, but what we had was enough. Then, all I can remember was fire and flames. Igneel got me and Zeref out, but he didn't make it. He was fine one minute, then…not." Natsu's throat tried to work around the dry lump that formed, but it was a full minute before he could go on.

"The authorities said it was the smoke he inhaled and not the flames, and sent Zeref and me to a foster home. The woman who ran it was…cruel. She would take the stipend from the government, then abandon the children outside without shelter or food, telling us that we had nowhere else to go so that we should just be thankful for what she did…so…my brother and I ran away, to an abandoned part of the city and set up a makeshift home."

Lucy squeezed his hand. "You still love him don't you?"

Natsu closed his eyes against the sun. "I can't help it. He's my brother. He kept me alive for a solid two years and had my back the whole time until Gramps came."

"I don't think it's wrong that you do Natsu. It just is. I still love my father."

He nodded, his heart swelling with love for the woman who understood him.

"We didn't have anything after that, just each other me and Zeref. And when Gramps found me and told me he saw something that he wanted to cultivate…I jumped at the chance to have someone or something to love again like a father. Zeref…was either too old or too bitter or something like that to really come to love any of us in a conventional sense. He built Tartaros from the ground up and become a terrorist instead. I didn't tell ERA the whole truth when they interrogated me after the initial bombing. I knew why Zeref created everything and why he did everything he did."

"…why?"

"Because he said he loved me and wanted to keep my safe. How messed up is that?"

"It's…strange, but not uncommon. Lots of people do bad things with good intentions. I know my father only wants me to be taken care of for the rest of my life so that when he's gone I'll be fine, but it doesn't mean it's the right thing to do."

Natsu burrowed deeper into his pillow and tugged his wife closer until there was no space left between them. "I know."

"So…the Dragon? Why—"

"—is it covered in flames? Shouldn't I be afraid of fire? Simple. Igneel saved me from them, so I'll always love him for that, but even when I was so young and so terrified then, all I could think about was how my father looked like a mighty Fire Dragon when he pulled us out. So, I grew to love fire – probably more than I should – but it's calming. It's my last memory of Igneel, and it makes me think of him."

"Did you name him Igneel?"

Natsu laughed and dropped his chin on the top of her head, drawing on her strength for a moment. "No. His name is Atlas Flame. He's like an uncle I never had."

Lucy reached up and swiped at the tears on his cheeks, her eyes tender but understanding and not saying one word about it.

"I love your tattoos Natsu. I've always wanted one. Should I get one?"

He nodded, pleased with the change of topic. It was a bit disconcerting having someone that wasn't related by blood knowing absolutely everything about him. His childhood and his father included. But if it had to be anyone, it would always be Lucy.

"What do you think I should get?"

And for the moment, they were wrapped in happiness once more as they decided what tattoo Lucy should get in the future.

(Two months from then, she would decide on a line of black stars down her spine, from her shoulders to her tail bone. Natsu would come to love how she sighed low and deep when he kissed every single one.)

-ooo-

After the bliss that was their morning, neither could have anticipated the next two days and how it all would unfurl.

And it started when Erza, in all her scarlet glory, ripped open their bedroom door to find Lucy and Natsu entangled in one another on their bed, chatting and laughing like they had no cares in the world.

But there were cares to be had. And the first one was the fact that there was shopping to be done…and by the quick glance over the scant amount of clothing Lucy had hung in the wardrobe…a lot of shopping. She would need reinforcements.

A startled squawk came from the pink-haired man who promptly hissed her name like some big…annoyed…lizard or snake or something and pulled a sheet over his barely clothed wife, bundling her up until she looked like a swaddled babe. For a moment, Erza could see how amazing Natsu would be as a father and felt a prick of guilt at the insinuations she had made the night before.

But no matter, she could apologise later.

Shopping – and cake – would always come first.

"What the hell Erza! You can't just—"

"I can and I will when there is clothing on the line (here, the pun was entirely unintended and ignored) and I have come to rescue Lucy from this…terrible fate." She gestured with her hands in the general direction of the sad little wardrobe.

"Good morning Erza! I'll be down in just a minute and get some coffee and breakfast ready so that we can get a head start on the day!" Erza nodded, slightly baffled at how Natsu had come across this little ray of sunshine in his travels, but that could be thought of at another time.

Perhaps Lucy would make pancakes if she asked. "Good morning Lucy. I'll wait in your kitchen. Please don't rush too much."

She caught the affronted, ruffled-feathers look on Natsu's face and stifled a laugh. The poor boy looked clueless. Hopefully, Lucy would sort him out.

With a single nod, she backed out the open door and made her way down towards the kitchen like she said she would, whipping her lacrima com out and speed dialling Mira as fast as possible. "Demon, assemble the troops and meet us in one hour at Daybreak outlet mall. We have a lot of work to do."

-ooo-

After that initial fright of seeing Erza in his bedroom – he reminded himself that it could have been worse, she could have interrupted something much more intimate – Natsu spent the next five hours at Fairy Tail, sparring with Black Steel – Levy was with the other woman on their shopping spree with Lucy apparently – and then the next three in Changeling's when Lis opened the doors since Mira was away as well.

He had told Lucy what he wanted for the bet.

Lacy. Red. Lingerie. And he couldn't wait to see her in it. She was enthusiastic about his idea to the point where she seemed more excited about it than even him, but she just brushed off his questions when asked to say that no one had ever wanted to see her in something that they requested.

His head had been in the clouds all day, filled with fantasies of strip teases and creamy skin and flashing amber eyes filled with lust. He was so thankful that Gajeel had been off his game as well, surreptitiously glancing at his phone every few minutes.

Apparently, his Shrimp's due date had passed two days ago and he was just waiting for the call that she had gone into labour. In all honesty, Natsu was waiting for it too. Gajeel was like a cousin to him – not that he would ever say that out loud, ever – and wanted to be there when his niece or nephew was born.

So all around, they just punched each other half-heartedly then agreed to meet all the guys at the bar for a pint to brood and mope surrounded by their brethren that would never admit that they missed their girls.

Except for Bickslow, whose girl was still there serving drinks – seriously were him and Lis going out or what? – Which made them super jealous and pouty to the point of Natsu stuffing his face with at least three dozen spicy chicken wings to pass the time.

It was nearing eight in the evening when the doors of the bar had swung open forcefully, that it was either someone who didn't give a shit about the place or who they knew hung out here on a daily basis, or it was just Erza again forgetting about her strength.

Apparently, it was the former.

Eight – Natsu counted while annoyance and anger simmered in his blood – ERA knights sauntered into the bar like they owned the place with the cockiest shit eating grins plastered on their faces as if they were all cats that got the canary. It made Laxus' smirks look like he was smiling pleasantly.

And then the ninth of their party decided to join them and Natsu knew instantly what this was about.

Fucking Lahar, followed up by his partner or servant or whatever named Doranbolt. Natsu knew of the second man only by reputation and understood that he was a fair and reasonable person.

Lahar walked up right to Natsu's table and dropped into the seat opposite him that had held Gray up until the doors had busted open. Hopefully, the ice-princess was sending an SOS to Mira and the girls, it was her establishment after all.

"What the fuck are you doing in here Lahar?"

"Good evening Dragneel." Natsu flinched at the name. Even after all these years, he still couldn't shake the feeling that when Lahar said that word he was mocking him for having the same blood as a known terrorist. "I think you know exactly why we're here."

"Just spit it out. I haven't got all day. Very important people to talk to and all that." And it wasn't a lie. Natsu did have important people to chat with, especially his wife. And he wanted to peek in her bags for her special present she was supposed to buy today. He did not want to be here dealing with ERA instead.

He also wanted this done with before she came back, he didn't want ERA to know Lucy at all, she was not to be roped into his problems like that, even if she would help him. He wanted to protect her from scrutiny, and like a good husband, he would shield her always. Even if it was from prying eyes and not a physical attack.

"Your visa expired this morning at midnight. Therefore, you are here as an illegal alien and will be deported back to Seven where you belong. Hopefully, we can find the bastard that is your brother and ship him back as well. Fiore doesn't want you here any longer Dragneel." The sneer was evident as well as the condescending tone.

Natsu could take a lot of shit, but he hated when people thought that he was beneath them in some way. It made him feel small and helpless, just like he did when he was all alone in Seven after Igneel had passed.

But, he had to remember, he wasn't alone any longer.

A blur of blonde blocked off the next thing Natsu wanted to say – it was full of unsavoury insults and had the word 'twatwaffle' thrown in twice for good measure – and an enraged voice cut him off mid breath.

"Who the fuck do you think you are? You have no right to speak to my husband like that!"

-ooo-

Lucy had been having a wonderful day with the girls, buying some nice clothing, stopping into an appliance store to buy and have delivered a full decked out barbeque to her new home, then lunch with a single blended alcoholic drink. Erza had dragged her to her favourite adult shop when they were done and she had picked out something she hoped Natsu would like to see on her...and off of her if the night went her way.

But now...after they had just sat down to dinner at a wonderfully quaint diner just down the street, Mira had received a text on her lacrima from Gray of all people as a plea for them to come to the bar quickly because something was happening. Luckily they were close, so they had ditched the dinner plans and sprinted - and in Levy's case, waddled - back to the bar and grill as fast as possible to find that ten ERA knights surrounded a single table with her pink-haired husband sitting on the edge of his seat, looking like he was ready to run.

She hated that look on him.

So Lucy had decided to speak up in a way that would most likely land her in jail by morning, but she didn't care. They had absolutely no right to even look at Natsu like that. He was amazing and so kind and gentle and sweet and sexy and just...Natsu. He had been through more things in his childhood than most and still, he had put her needs in front of hers, brought her into his life, gave her a home and friends and family and supported her when she told off her own father.

He was everything to her, and they wanted to send him away?

Over her very dead body.

Natsu had never been more thankful that he had married that spitfire with a heart of damn gold in an impulsive move a week ago, then right at that moment. She saved his ass daily and made him feel so much more accepted. She wanted him to stay here with his family in Fiore, wanted him to stay here with her, so she was speaking on his behalf.

Rudely, and with a matching sneer on her face that looked so damn sexy he could hardly contain himself.

"Your husband?" Damn right he was her husband! Fucking proud of that too! But he let Lucy take the wheel on this one as well, with his luck, he would probably just punch Lahar in the face and then go to jail for the rest of his life or something. He wasn't ashamed to say that she was just so much better at this talking thing that he was. But if she ever needed him to fight for her, he would be there in an instant.

It's what he did best.

Lucy flashed her wedding band on her left finger proudly, as if it was the most beautiful thing in the world. "Yes. Natsu's my fucking husband, you idiot. Do I need to repeat myself?"

Natsu died in all the best ways that day when Lucy insulted ERA on his behalf, and he didn't even care if he got arrested anymore. Because she was amazing and she was all his.

Next: Intertwined

Things are about to get a little cray cray. Hope you guys are ready for the unofficial ending...I know I'm not. Shorties abound, Black Steel loses his head, red lingerie and some dirty dirty times...(yay) Next chapter rated M...Natsu just cannot resist Lucy (not that he's actually trying.)

Stay Crazy,

LoadedEel