Don't ask about the title, just read!

Playing With Himself

(Not as bad as you're thinking!)

Inutaisho sat on the living room floor with small cards spread around him. A timer had been upended and sand slowly sifted through the small opening for it to land in the bottom. He had been playing Taboo with himself for the past four hours and still he had yet to get any of the questions right. He played by covering the name of the person or thing at the top of the card, then, like in normal play, did not use any of the other words on the card. He wrote down any names that came to mind with what was not given and at the end of the timer, he looked to see if any of them were correct.

Well, that wasn't working out evidently! Frustrated, he kicked the box to the side, then went and got a pack of Uno cards. He drew seven, then drew seven more and placed them face-down across from him. He put the rest of the deck down and flipped over the top card. A blue seven. He looked at his hand and saw that he did have a blue card, not taking the time to remember what all was in his hand. Then he picked up the other seven cards and played according to the four that he had played, again not trying to take in the details of this hand. He went back and forth like that for a while, until the opponent had only one card. "Uno!" He yelled out to know one. "Ha, I said it before you could, so you have to draw two cards!" He picked two cards up from the main deck and handed them to the invisible player.

Eventually he got tired of saying uno every time the other "person" was down to one card, so he quit saying it. Back and forth "they" went until the other person played a wild draw four. This was the last card in their hand. Inutaisho sat there for a moment, stunned. Then he stood up and threw the cards across the room, surprised when the wild draw four stuck to the window. It made him recall a trick he'd seen David Blaine do, but I'll save that story for another time.

A/N: What Inutaisho was doing with the Uno cards is something that I myself often do. I'm too bored to do anything else, but too anti-social to seek out my brothers to ask them to play...then again, all they ever want to play is Monopoly, which I never win...unless I'm playing with just my little brother, then I wreck shop! Funny little story I'd like to tell about us and Monopoly at the end of the story, so keep reading!

He went into the downstairs bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror. The face looked the same as it always did, sharp features, especially the eyes...wait, that as it. His eyes seemed to have darkened, as though they were mirrors reflecting what he was feeling at the present moment. Which he couldn't quite put a finger on. Was it sadness? Remorse? Trepidation at what was to come? And when did this look start? When the boys left, a small voice said. Rather than trying to deny it, he let this fact roll over him. Yeah, that was when, that morning. He gave a heavy sigh. There was something he needed to get out. Sitting down on the toilet, he started.

Sometime back in the day...

Inutaisho was walking down the street with his white mane of hair puffed out in a stylish afro. His tight bell bottom jeans and funky blue collared shirt were pressed and he was feeling fly. Oh yes, I am one funky kat, he thought (sickly, that doesn't sound right!). He was wearing his one of a kind high platformed shoes with the glass bottoms and the gold fish that could be seen swimming in them. A pick stuck out of his hair, rhinestone sunglasses shaded his eyes, and a large clock dangled from his neck, unknowingly sporting a style that would become a trademark of a certain someone, some years later.

He loved the attention his attire brought him and how the ladies swooned with his hip comments. In fact, it didn't even have to go that far. He'd look at a girl and she'd sigh as though he possessed the power to make a woman fall in love with him just like that. That is, until he mether. She was sitting on her porch with a few of her friends surrounding her, and he had just walked up when she had been smiling from something that was said. Inutaisho took this as a good omen. "Hey pretty lady, how you doin' this mighty fine evening? He asked in a seventies accent. The girl looked him up and down, then giggled openly. "What are those?" She asked, pointing to his shoes. "Oh these?" He said, acting surprised. "These are my one of a kind, platinum edition, gold fish gold shoes!" The girls looked at each other, then burst out laughing.

"I wouldn't pay fifty cents for something like that!" The girl laughed. Inutaisho still smiled. "Aw baby, you know you want some of the Taisho-Man!" This brought more laughter. His smile now started to falter. "Why you hatin' on a brother?" he said with a hurt expression. "Uh, I'm not related to you!" The girl retorted with even more laughs. "You one jive turkey, you know that?" Inutaisho said. "But that's okay. I'll forgive you if you say that you'll go to the Get Down Disco with me tonight." The girl acted like she was pondering this, then said rudely, "Not on your life!"

And that argument is how he came to know Naomi. She went to the disco and he had to ask her ten times to dance with him before she would. They went out a few times and finally tied the knot a year later. Her own big hair and sharp tounge is what he loved about her. But as the times changed and he cared less for fashion, the fashion diva had to have more and more of the top brands in everything. Inutaisho soon learned that her love seemed to be more focused on materialistic things rather than him. Or their son. The day after he was born, he went into Sesshomaru's room to find a note on the side of the crib. "You wanted an heir, now you have one," it said in her handwriting. That was it. No signature or anything. He filed for divorce that day and within a few months, he had his wish. So while he was changing diapers and filling bottles, she was in New York and such places becoming a fashion model.

So how the hell did she get custody of their son? And in a same-sex marriage at that?! He figured the court would be against something like that, but evidently people seem more unanimous that children should be with their mothers. He would never understand the legal system.

And later came Izayoi. Izayoi was your classical good girl. She went to church every Sunday, believed that there was only good in people (though it took longer to find it in some than others. Hell, she even believed Hitler was a good guy way deep down!), and that if you could dream it, you could do it. Well, that clashed nicely with the arrogant dog-demon. Not to mention she was a human. He had figured he'd get his use out of her, then toss her to the side. He had hit a low point in emotions after the divorce and wasn't exactly looking for someone to settle down with just then, if ever. But one thing led to another, and nobody could understand how they stayed together. But like the saying goes, opposites attract and they were definitelyopposites.

They had to elope because her father forbidded her from marrying Inutaisho. Their wedding was done in Vegas, more of a drive-thru than a wedding. Half the normal things that the preacher said weren't said and they had the suspicion that he wasn't even a real priest. But nobody questioned their documents and that's all that mattered. They were married! For about four hundred years...(I like the idea that when a demon and human mate, the human receives the demons longevity. After they divorced and the "bond" was broken, she continued her aging where she left off, around early thirties in my eyes.)

Time went by and they had Inuyasha, the joy of her life. But she kept saying that there was something missing in the relationship. He thought, like with Naomi, it was something materialistic, but it wasn't. Now I know what it was, another woman, thought Inutaisho bitterly. She left Inuyasha in care of him while she went to "run some errands." She never came back. That was it. His depression got so bad that one of a servant requested him to their own therapist. "I don't know what I would do without Dr. Prozac! Why, he really helped me to get on the track of enjoying life more after I caught my husband cheating on me!" The woman said in an overly bright voice. "I had chased him out of the house with a butcher knife and one of the neighbors saw me! I had to go to some counseling sessions, but after that, things were just fine! As long as I have my Prozac, nothing can go wrong!" She had reached into her purse to find the bottle of pills and couldn't find it. An eye stated twitching, then she started foaming at the mouth. An enraged howl tore from her throat and she lost it. Well, let's just say that not only did she become more acquainted with Dr. Prozac, but a few other "doctors" as well.

Back to present day...

That seemed like forever ago. Somehow, he and the boys had managed, learning to accept the absence of a mother from their lives. And he'd liked it. With no women, he could talk freely with his sons about anything (though the sex-ed conversation didn't go down so well with Inuyasha, making him terrified to even use the bathroom because he didn't want to touch his private parts). But now, this. They were gone for a whole summer. He picked up a T-shirt that Sesshomaru had thrown on the bathroom floor and sniffed it, tears coming to his eyes. He quickly blinked them away and went upstairs to retrieve something.

A moment later, he was back in the totaled living room playing Scrabble by himself. Heartbreak should automatically be deigned as the winning word. Kind of like catching the golden snitch ends a game of Quidditch. He gave another deep sigh and silently placed the letters on the board, spelling his heart out onto it the best he could.

Alrighty then! Happy to have that out of the way...knowing I have homework that needs to be done. But hey, what else is a first hour with an AWOL teacher good for? And AWOL is a military term that means absent without leave. My fine arts teacher quit on us a week before Thanksgiving break and we have yet to have seen or heard hide or hair of the man! Anyways, I said that I had a little story about Monopoly to tell..

One upon a time—no, no, I won't do that! Okay, here it is. Back when my brothers and I were younger (much younger, I'm eighteen currently and my older brother is a year older than I am and my younger brother two years younger) we were playing Monopoly. My little brother had bought Boardwalk, which everyone knows is the highest property in the game. Well, my older brother I think had Park Place, its accomplice. He held up before my little brother a white one dollar bill and said, "I'll give you a George Washington for Boardwalk?" My little brother went with the deal! He was too young to know his presidents or monetary value. I laughed at his ignorance, and knew my older brother was wrong for doing it. But I said nothing! I let the game go on with my little brother screwed out of his property! Years later, we told him what happened and I'm happy to say that since then, he's become a better business man, though weseem to not be able to compete with "The Man." Anywho, please review and tell me what's on your mind about anything I wrote. Or if you need a shoulder to cry on, I'm here for ya!