Chapter 7

I got up the next morning and left the house way before it was light out. What was the point, sleeping wasn't happening anyways. Since I still wasn't welcome in the bedroom, I had to wear the same clothes as the day before. I don't know where my remorse went from the night prior but not having access to my room, clothes, personal belongings, etcetera, pissed me off. It was a big day at work and I wasn't starting it in very good headspace.

My brother raised an eyebrow when he came into the office noting not only my attire but disposition as well. I told him I didn't want to talk about it and, thankfully, he said nothing. Secretly, I kind of wished he had; I really wanted to deck someone to get out some of my frustrations. I settled for the busy workday to distract me instead.

Carlisle drove us to the meeting with our client that afternoon. Had I been paying attention I would have clued in to the fact that we weren't at the right office. Like an idiot I got out of the truck and followed him from the parking garage and up three flights of stairs.

"Good luck. Take a cab back; put it on the company account." Carlisle quickly patted me on the back and made a beeline for the stairwell.

"Wh-what?"

I looked at the mahogany door in front of me and noticed the name.

Jacob Black, Registered Marriage and Family Counselor.

"Nice try. I had Bella to cancel the appointment."

"Yeah and I got the name of the counselor from Esme who got it from Bella and then I called and pretended to be you, accepting the appointment."

"It's a felony to impersonate someone." I folded my arms across my chest so he knew I wasn't impressed. Instead he laughed it off.

"There are far worse felonies I've committed, you know that. You can thank me later."

"You're such an asshole, Car. We don't have time for me—"

"It's what, an hour? I can manage for an hour."

I cursed at him under my breath as I turned the knob and entered the small waiting room. Bella was already there. She glanced up from her magazine briefly then dropped her eyes back down. Apparently, she was still pissed. I took a seat across from her.

"This isn't a great start – having my own brother trick me into coming."

"Actually, your sister-in-law told me we were going to lunch and quite literally pushed me out of the car and kidnapped our children."

"Perfect. Neither one of us want to be here." I scrubbed my hands over my face.

"I didn't say I didn't want to be here but thanks for clarifying that you don't."

"Bella, that's not what I—"

"Mr. and Mrs. Cullen, you can go in now. Mr. Black's ready for you."

I held the door open for Bella – if nothing else, I was still a gentleman. It didn't go unnoticed that she took the time to fix her hair and makeup, as well as put on a skirt, blouse, and heels for the occasion. She looked pretty, and it made me sad that she made the effort for a stranger but not for me.

There was a man not much older than us standing in the middle of the room waiting to greet us. He had dark hair, spiked up in the front, wearing khaki's and a golf shirt. I nodded at him as I waited for the therapist to join us.

"You must be Bella, nice to meet you. And Edward, I assume?" He extended his hand to Bella and then me. "I'm Jacob Black – Jake is fine."

"Sorry, you're our therapist?"

Bella jabbed her elbow into my rib cage as Jake chuckled.

"Yes. Please come in make yourself at home."

The room was small with only a loveseat and a high back leather chair. Bella sat down, setting her purse on the floor by her feet. Apparently we were going to have to sit nice and cozy on the inaptly named loveseat.

"Guess I can't take your chair, huh? It looks pretty comfortable."

"And it starts," Bella quipped, giving me an eye roll. She still wasn't convinced that I wanted to be in counseling.

"Would you prefer to sit in my chair?"

Five seconds in and I already disliked the guy. Answering a question with a question. Fuck off.

"I was kidding. When I'm nervous I make jokes; it's what I do."

I sat down beside Bella and waited for the good doctor- he was a doctor, right? – to start our session.

"Why are you nervous, Edward?"

Gee, Doc, I don't know. Perhaps because my marriage is so fucked up we have to see you?

He and Bella both looked at me expectantly.

"I just am." As I commented, I looked at my watch.

"Do you need to be somewhere?"

"Actually, I do. I have a job to finish up by six."

"What kind of work do you do?"

"Construction."

"You're dressed rather professionally for that kind of work. Or was that for my benefit?"

I looked down at my suit and tie – regular wear for me.

"Uh, no, not for your benefit, sorry. I own the company, I don't do the actual hands on labor. Bella, on the other hand, dressed up for you."

If looks could kill…

"You look very nice, Bella."

It pissed me off that he wasn't going to question her motives like he had mine.

"Thank you."

"Who wants to start?" I half expected Jake to rub a goatee in thought as he asked, except he had a baby-face with not a whisker in place.

I put up my hand.

Jake smiled.

"We're not in school here Edward, if you have something to say, go ahead."

"I have some questions; is that allowed?"

"Of course. What did you want to know?"

"A bit about you to start, actually."

"Edward," Bella scolded but Jake waved it off.

"Sure, ask away."

"Are you actually a doctor?"

Jake shook his head. "I'm a registered marriage and family counselor. Specializing in couples and group therapy."

"How old are you?"

"Forty-two. "

I raised my eyebrows.

"You look young for forty-two."

"Is that an issue for you?"

"No, no. I was expecting someone who looked … older, I guess." By that I meant wiser. "Are you married?"

"No."

I snorted. Working with feuding couples all day he wasn't crazy enough to do it himself. Awesome.

"How much is this costing me an hour?"

"Edward!"

"What? I'm only asking because I hope it's not a waste of my time and my hard-earned money. If someone is going to attempt to fix our marriage and he's never even been married himself..." I shrugged and left it at that. I think I made my point.

"I didn't say I hadn't been married. You asked if I were married and currently, I'm not."

"Awesome. Some guy who's divorced is going to counsel us to stay married." It gets better and better.

"Actually, my wife passed away a year and a half ago."

His words stunned me into silence. Well, except for the 'fuck' I uttered.

"I'm so sorry for your loss." The intelligent comment came from Bella.

"Thank you. She died of cancer, in case you wanted to know. Any other questions, Edward?"

I shook my head, feeling like a complete asshole.

"I heard you say 'how much is this costing me per hour' and you 'hoped you weren't wasting your time and your hard-earned money'. Can I assume from those comments that Bella doesn't work?"

"Yes." I answered before Bella.

"Actually, I do work. I'm a stay at home mom, raising our two year old twins."

"Tough job. Don't you think, Edward?" That time Jake did stroke his chin as he waited for me to answer. I shrugged.

"Yeah, I guess. I mean playing dolls and pretend all day must get tiring."

"That right there is a huge part of our problem."

"What? I mean it. That would bore me into exhaustion, playing dolls and stuff all day."

Bella huffed. "Is that really what you think I do all day? Play house?"

"Well, you do." I looked to Jake for some kind of support but he stayed impartial. I wonder what he'd say about it if the two of us went for a beer and talked candidly. Five bucks said he agreed with me.

"Bella, have you ever told Edward what you really do all day?"

"He doesn't ask."

"That's not true – just last week I asked. Remember – the Barbie went in the toilet, kids had tantrums, yada, yada, yada."

"You only asked because I was about to have a mental breakdown."

"And do you know how Edward spends his day?"

"On the phone or in meetings – usually over breakfast or lunch."

I shook my head. "It's so much more than that."

"Except when I ask you tell me you don't want to rehash your day. End of discussion."

"Well, I'm tired and don't want to talk about every little detail. I want to come home, put my feet up, relax with a beer and forget about work. It's bad enough I have to hear you complain about your day. After all the crap I put up with at work, I just want to come home and have someone take care of me for a change."

"Like your mom did." I watched Bella roll her eyes then fold her arms across her chest, looking away from me. I bit my tongue. She had no idea how much my mom did for me. How her taking care of me was my saving grace in an otherwise hellish life. Instead of telling Bella that, I mimicked her crossed arms and looked in the opposite direction.

"I think everyone wants to be taken care of at the end of the day. Life's hard and so often we're go-go-go during the day. For you, Edward, it's nice to come home and decompress. And for Bella, who's been around kids all day, it's nice to finally have an adult to chat with. Either way, it's good for both of you to talk a little about your day with your spouse."

I wasn't expecting his next statement.

"I know what your first assignment will be."

"I thought you said this wasn't high school?"

Jake chuckled at my complaint. "It's not, Edward, but I want you two to start communicating again. After the kids go to bed, I want you to sit down and talk about your day. You don't have to go into extensive details but at least share the basics of what went on. And I want you to specifically share three good things and two bad. Do you think you both can do that?"

"Sounds easy enough." I told him and Bella agreed. How hard could that be?

"Great. Now, may I ask some personal questions? I'm trying to understand the dynamics of your relationship."

"Yeah, sure." I answered with a shrug for both of us. I couldn't exactly say no after he answered my questions and I made an ass of myself.

"How old were you when you met?"

"It was my twenty-first birthday; Edward was twenty-two."

"Had you both been intimate with other people before you met?"

"I'd been with one other partner; he'd been with two."

"Three."

Bella's jaw clenched and I realized I probably shouldn't have corrected her.

"Were they serious, your previous relationships?"

"For either of us, no. I mean, they were serious enough at the time to become intimate but we knew the moment we met that we should be together."

"How'd you meet? Bella, I'd like Edward to answer this time, please."

Internally I debated if I should tell the truth or not. We were there to be honest and paying the man good money – although I still didn't know how much – for the truth, not lies. The truth shall set you free, right? I also knew that if I told the real story of how we met, Bella would kill me. It wasn't exactly a story we'd be telling our children and grandchildren for generations.

"We met at a club through a mutual friend." When Bella blushed scarlet beside me, I figured Jake could use his imagination and figure out the more intimate details.

"I take it there was an instant attraction to each other then."

"You could say that."

"And now? Are you still attracted to each other?"

"Look at her - of course I am!"

Jake smiled. Was he smiling because I still found my wife attractive or because he found her attractive as well? He sure as hell better not!

Hey, wait a second – how come Bella hadn't answered? In fact, she needed prompting from Jake to answer.

"Bella?"

"Yes, I'm still attracted to him."

She'd answered with a quiet voice and didn't look at me, which made me doubt her answer. I looked over at Bella and she was looking down at her lap.

"When was the last time you were intimate?"

I had to do the reverse countdown in my head back to that Monday. Bella answered with specifics.

"Monday the 22nd."

I looked at her. "Did you diarize it?"

Bella shrugged.

"How often were you having sex before?"

"Before the kids were born or before we started fighting?" Bella wanted clarification.

"On average, when things were going well for you, how often were you intimate?"

"At least three times a week, probably more like four, wouldn't you say, Edward?"

I nodded. "A heck of a lot more than now, that's for sure."

"Do you miss it?" Before I could laugh, Jacob clarified his question. "Not only having an orgasm, because we all know we're capable of taking care of our own needs. I'm talking about actually being intimate, reconnecting, feeling like you're one."

"I think that's a ridiculous question."

"Why do you say that, Edward?"

"Because if she – we - don't miss that, then I'd say our marriage is officially done. I know marriage isn't built on sex but it's pretty fucking important."

"Yes, I miss it – the reconnecting with him. But it's hard to reconnect after a night of squabbling. Or when we're both just too tired to do the deed."

"That's a good thing, that you both miss it. Some couples come in here and tell me they don't; I have my work cut out with them. At least you're on the same page."

"You're saying there's hope for us yet?" Maybe Bella and I weren't as fucked up as we thought we were.

Jake smiled and chuckled. "Yes, there is. There's always hope if you're willing to work for it."

"I am." I thought I should clarify that for Bella's sake, so she knew I was serious. She, however, said nothing.

We talked for a while longer, mostly us answering Jake's questions, not really getting to the heart of the matter but maybe he knew what he was doing after all. I hoped so.

Before we left, Jake talked to us about our next session.

"The reality of your situation is not as complicated as you think. No one's cheated or had thoughts about cheating. You both want to be together, you want to be intimate. I think you may have forgotten how. You're dealing with issues every couple with kids faces. Trust me, you aren't alone. We should continue this one-to-one for a little while, but I really think you guys are a good candidate for group therapy down the road."

"Is it cheaper?"

Bella shook her head at me. What? I thought it was a valid question.

"Yes, Edward, it's cheaper."

"Where do we sign up?"

"I have two other couples I met with this morning who I think would be a perfect fit for you. Both are stay at home moms and the husbands work outside the home. Like your situation, these couples have lost their way, so to speak. Once we think you're ready for group, I can see if we can coordinate our schedules and find a time each week to meet?"

"I think that will be fine, right, Edward?"

"Absolutely. I'll have my people call your people and someone can call their people."

I thought it was funny.

"Don't forget your homework assignment to sit down and talk about your day."

I saluted him. "Yes, sir."

"One final thing before you go. Until we meet next, I don't want you to be intimate. Handholding is fine. Kissing is okay, as long as you can control your urges. But no petting or sex."

"Heh, heh. The way things have been going - shouldn't be a problem."

Jake clasped me on the back. "We'll get you guys back to that, I promise. There'll be a few more homework assignments before that, though. I think you might even enjoy some of them."

I stuck my hand out to him. "Thank you, Jake. This wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be."

"What did you think was going to happen?"

"I thought I was going to hate you."

Jake laughed. "I'm glad you don't. See my secretary on the way out to book for next week, okay?"

With that, Bella and I walked out of his office. I wanted to hold her hand but honestly, I wasn't sure if we were ready for that. Somehow though, I felt lighter. It certainly didn't feel like we totally hopeless. Truthfully, I was kind of looking forward to working with Jake and getting back what Bella and I had lost.

Can Therapist Jake get them back on track? Time will tell.

For those of you who've asked, the whole story is pre-written and beta'd already. 21 chapters in total. That just shows you these two have a ways to go still.

Lolo84 and Capricorn - thank you for your help!

Readers and Reviewers - thank you for all your lovely comments xo

Thursday update? We'll see!