A/N: Okay, so this is the chapter I kinda had in mind the whole time when I came up with the scenario. Heavy is the right word. Ch 7, The Kidnapping

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck, I've never been tortured, and no the first half of season 3 is not torture.

He was walking down the street, grinning. It wasn't a night of Morgan, but it was a night of Chuck-being-Morgan's-wingman-as-he-introduced-Carina-to-sizzling-shrimp. Morgan had already poked Carina in the stomach talking about the delicacies that were about to enter it and Chuck was amazed Carina hadn't murdered him. Was it him or did Carina enjoy being around Morgan? There was really no telling with Carina.

Casey and Sarah were due to be back any time. Chuck had talked to her earlier and she had asked him what he and Carina done. He had sworn whatever Carina had told her was not true. Sarah asked if it was true they were painting. Chuck admitted it was and then the phone went silent. Sarah said they would talk when she got home. Carina admitted she told Sarah that Chuck had painted her nude.

He waited until she got into the shower, and then turned all the water on at once, turning her nice warm shower into a freezing one. What he hadn't factored was Carina running out of the bathroom without any clothes on. Chuck ran into the door and bolted the door shut until Carina requested a truce.

Shortly thereafter, Morgan had shown up and asked Carina if she had ever dined on sizzling shrimp. Chuck had told him not tonight, but Carina pulled him to the side and told him maybe he should try and outing, and she would be right there. There was sincerity in her eyes and that's how Chuck found himself in the back of the Bamboo Dragon, and that's how he flashed.

-ooooo-

"I don't know why all four of us have to be in this van," Chuck whined.

"Is it too enclosed for you, Chuck?" Sarah asked, looking at him.

"No, but Casey won't let me listen to my mixtape, and I think Carina is plotting to get even with me," Chuck replied.

"Well, we need you to flash, and I'm your bodyguard," Sarah replied.

Chuck smiled at her. "Hey, I know exactly how deadly you are with one and a half functioning legs," he began. Carina turned, a grin on her face. "Ignore her, her mind stays in the gutter," Chuck said to Sarah. Casey grunted his agreement. "But how did you convince your superiors?"

"I dared any of them to try me," Sarah replied. Chuck found himself shivering.

"Guys, we have a bogey," Carina said.

Casey rolled down the window as the delivery man for the Bamboo Dragon asked for a Mr. Carmichael. After Chuck paid, and he and Casey bickered, they followed their target. Casey and Carina went in, leaving Chuck and Sarah alone in the back of the van.

"So, we haven't had much of a chance to talk," Sarah began. "I was wondering, the painting…" she tucked her head, and grinned at him shyly. "Am I the life preserver?"

"Well, it sure as hell isn't Casey," Chuck replied. Sarah began to laugh, and then stiffened at gun shots. Chuck turned around and saw an older man in a wheelchair heading for his limo. Chuck jumped out of the van to help him.

"Chuck!" Sarah yelled, chasing after him as quick as she could. Chuck grabbed the back of the wheelchair and began to push him to the car. His assistant grabbed the wheelchair and Chuck turned to see a man tied up, mouth taped, and looked as though he had been beaten. "FREEZE!" Sarah yelled. The assistant of the older man in the wheelchair went to pull a gun, and Chuck slammed into him.

Sarah's mouth nearly dropped as she saw rage on Chuck's face, and a grimmace of pain from his ribs. Chuck picked up the fallen gun and pointed it to the older man in the wheelchair.

"Let. Him. GO!" Chuck bellowed. The goons raised their hands as Sarah pulled the victim that had been tied up away. Casey and Carina came out of the club, guns drawn and began to secure the enemies. "How did he get that cut?" Chuck asked the older man in the wheelchair.

"I pistol whipped him," he answered smugly.

Chuck's face was filled with rage, and suddenly his hand flew, pistol whipping the older man in the chair. Blood flew from the man's face, and Chuck felt the gun being taken from him. Chuck stood there, the rage leaving, shame filling him, and tears falling from his face. Sarah pulled Chuck away.

"What have I become?" Chuck asked softly. "Why would I do that?" He began to cry as Sarah pulled him in. She and Carina exchanged a look.

"I don't know, Chuck," she answered softly. "I don't know."

-ooooo-

Carina stormed into Casey's as he slowly followed, and amused grin on his face. She activated the screen to call the Deputy Director. She had her arms crossed, a storm on her face, foot tapping as Tom King came on the TV. "Agent Miller," he began.

"He needs help, now!" Carina hissed. Tom's eyes narrowed. "With all due respect sir, an agent wouldn't be allowed in the field in his condition."

"Agent Miller, its…complicated," King answered.

Carina's eyebrows went up. "I think I'll go get Chuck's sister and let you tell her that and see how that goes."

"Calm down Agent Miller," King said, trying to get control of the situation. "Dr. Dreyfus will see him but as for the field….if I make him inactive, given the secrets he has…"

"Your superiors will push for a bunker," Casey said softly. "And the President may have no choice." King nodded. Carina shook her head.

"In the meantime we can limit his missions, and don't worry, Dreyfus understands and believes the last thing Chuck needs is to put him in an underground bunker."

"Christ the kid would snap," Casey muttered.

"Agreed," Tom replied. He turned to Carina. "Agent Miller," he began sharply and then grinned. "I wish all agents looked after each other the way you do."

"He's my friend," Carina said softly. "I don't have to many of those."

"Christ more ladyfeelings," Casey muttered.

"Thank God, you don't have any toward Mr. Bartowski," King said grinning as he disconnected the call.

Carina turned to Casey, a smirk on her face. "I don't know if that was necessary," he grumbled. He looked away for a minute.

"What is it?"

"I told the kid he could never be a typical spy," Casey said, not looking at Carina. "Everyone I've really known that's joined the ranks came through like I did, knowing exactly what they signed up for."

"What are you saying John?"

Casey turned toward her. "Maybe I've been naive. Maybe you can make anyone a spy with the right push, the right set of circumstances."

"They aren't making him one," Carina said, looking him right in the eye.

"Agreed," Casey replied, nodding.

-ooooo-

Chuck was sitting at the kitchen table, sipping hot chocolate, Sarah sitting beside him.

"Chuck, listen, it's a good thing," she began. He looked up at her. "You felt bad for hurting him."

"You really shouldn't go out with me," he said softly. Her eyes narrowed. "I don't feel bad for hurting him." He looked up at her and saw the shock on her face. "That's the problem, Sarah. He had that man kidnapped, and I didn't feel bad for what I did, all I felt was rage I couldn't control." He put the cup down, got up, and went to his room. Sarah sat there for a long time.

-ooooo-

She lay in bed, listening to his shower going the next morning. All night she had heard soft crying or cries of terror when he did sleep. It took everything in her not to go to him, but he had insisted he could do this. When the shower cut off, and she heard his bathroom door open, she decided it was time she insist a few things. She threw off her covers, and marched to his door. She knocked and she heard him say, come in.

She walked in and was nearly knocked on her ass. He was standing in front of his mirror, in his pants, no shirt on, examining his chest. His bandages was off, the bruises were still all around his ribs, and the marks on his torso from being burned, made tears come to her eyes. He didn't deserve this, and he didn't deserve what he was doing to himself.

"Remember when you flashed on me?" she asked, walking towards him, slowly. He turned around and faced her. It was all she could do to not trace her fingers over the bruise, to take the pain away. She lifted her head and looked him in the eye. "I killed all those people and I was glad, Chuck, remember I told you that? I used to have to get into a situation, and many times I either had to kill, hurt someone, and usually betray them just to do my job. I didn't feel bad about it, do you know why? They were bad people."

"That was different," he began.

"Was it?" she asked.

"If you didn't kill them, they would have killed you," he replied. "You did what you had to do for the job. I pistol whipped a man because I was pissed off at what he had done."

"You pistol whipped a man who smirked when he told you he had hurt his captive." Chuck didn't say anything. "Chuck, did you enjoy hitting him?" Chuck shook his head. "And you're upset you didn't feel bad?" He nodded. "So you don't enjoy hurting someone, you just did what had to be done."

"Is that what you have to do?" Chuck asked softly. Sarah nodded. Chuck looked away. "I'm an ass, I'm sorry."

Sarah was confused, and stepped forward, and gripped his upper arms lightly. "I don't understand how you think you're an ass."

"I said you should run because of how I am, and you've had to do the same things, on orders," he began. She nodded. "So-"

"Does any of this change how you feel about me?" Sarah asked.

His eyes widened. "No," he said softly. "God, no. I-I…care about you. A lot and I think you're a wonderful person."

"How, Chuck?" she asked seriously. "I've done terrible things."

"But you didn't…." He trailed off and looked away. When he looked back at her his expression had softened and a grin was on his face. "Has anything I told you about me changed the way you feel about me?"

She thought for a second. "Yeah," she replied, and his features fell. "You've been through stuff you shouldn't have had to go through and you're fighting, and that makes me fall harder for you." She grinned at him as he blushed. She pushed up on her tiptoes and kissed him lightly on the lips. She started to pull away, when his arms gripped her, pulling her into a hug. "I've got you, Chuck, but that means you can't push me out."

"I know," he said softly. "I just don't want to hurt you in all of this."

"Chuck, every time you hurt, I hurt, and if you push me away, I hurt even more, so if your goal is not to hurt me, let me in, and let me stay in."

He pulled away and looked her in the eye. "That could be dangerous, Sarah."

She gave him a grin and slowly looked up and down his chest. "And that looks painful. I have something that could help it, unless you're wanting to keep those scars as some kind of macho thing."

"I'll save macho for Casey," Chuck replied, grinning.

"Are you gonna let me apply it?" She asked, the grin turning salacious.

"I think that's a very bad idea," Chuck said, trying to pull away and cover himself.

She turned and left, but paused at the doorway. "Do you really think it's a bad idea?"

Chuck grinned at her. "My decision making skills are questionable at best right now."

"Hmm, probably shouldn't do something you'll regret later," Sarah replied. Her face turned serious and she pointed at him. "Don't push me away."

"Got it," Chuck replied. As soon as she left he grabbed a shirt and began to put it on when his phone went off. He reached down and picked it up and stared at the screen.

"Trust them," the text said. He gripped the phone and looked in the mirror. He didn't completely recognize who he saw there, but he did look familiar, more familiar than he had since before the kidnapping.

A/N: For those wondering, Tom King is a former CIA agent and the current writer of the DC comic Batman, along with several others. And for the record Rob, 3/4 of that was written before I saw your review. Dillwg said he wasn't sure who was broken, if it was Chuck or Sarah. My answer, what if it's all of them? I don't have it in me to write what Zettel did with (mis)Education, but maybe we can do a cursory examination. Seriously, reviews, PMs, hugs, all welcomed.

DC