Chapter 7
"I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing, with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain, there is healing, in your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm barely holdin' on to you
The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life
Broken by Lifehouse
Anders was standing in front of the fireplace when he heard Bodahn greet Mari as she came in the front door. A few minutes later he heard the soft sound of her steps as she made her way up to their room. After tomorrow everything would be different, their lives would never be the same. A part of him was glad and anticipated the change while the other part of him was completely disgusted by what he and Justice were about to do. Tonight, however, everything in the world was as it should be and he wanted to enjoy one last night with the woman that he loved, while she still saw him as her Anders and not a monster.
He quietly made his way upstairs. He entered their room, but stood in the shadows as he watched Mari gracefully undress. She had the most magnificent body; very toned and firm and he knew every luscious inch of her so well. She took off her breast band and was about to slide on a nightshirt when he eased up behind her and took the shirt from her hand. She looked up at him in surprise.
He smiled at her. "It would be a crime to cover up such perfection."
She smiled hesitantly at him. "Is it just you tonight?"
Her question wounded him, but he knew that lately he had given her reason to doubt him. "Yes Love, it's just me," he whispered as he gently pulled her against his chest. He felt solace in the warmth of her skin and softness of her caress. He tangled his hands in her hair until they reached the nape of her neck and he gently forced her to look up at him. He gazed into her beautiful eyes, "You have to believe me when I tell you I would never allow him to enter this room and be with you the way I'm about to be with you. Even if it drains me of my last drop of strength, he will never be here when I am with you like this."
Before she could answer his mouth captured hers and his tongue ran lightly over her lower lip as he sought entrance. He felt her hesitate for a moment, but then she granted his request and he deepened the kiss as their tongues danced together. She ran her hand up his back and the feel of her delicate touch sent electrical shocks coursing through him. He pulled her closer to him as he ravished her mouth, he drank from her, taking all that she had to give and then taking even more. He needed her…not just physically although his body needed her desperately, but he needed her to be his rock, to be his strength and hopefully his salvation.
The feel of her pressed against him forced him to forget about the outside world and all of its chaos. All that mattered was Mari, and he lost himself in the scent of her body, in the taste of her delicious lips and her loving touch.
He pulled away from her briefly as he scooped her up and into his arms; her eyes met his as he carried her to the bed. He laid her in the center, then hovered over her as he pulled his shirt over his head. She leaned forward and slid her hand down his chiseled stomach then she frantically began to pull at the laces on his pants. He laughed a little at her eagerness as he stood and quickly removed his trousers. He stared down at her as he memorized every line, every curve of her flawless body. The moonlight from the window gleamed over her and he was spellbound in the splendor that was Mari…his Mari.
Smiling enticingly, Mari laid back on the bed as she gave him another moment to admire her, then crocked a finger at him beckoning him to her. He ran a hand gently up her leg as he stretched out beside her. One of the many things that he had grown to love about her was the way her body arched into his hands as they slowly moved over her stomach to her breasts as if her body was begging for more contact. Oh Mari, I don't deserve you.
"Oh, my love," he moaned as he lowered his lips to her delectable skin. He kissed her slowly, teasingly, as he tasted every inch of her; allowing his tongue to run over her, exploring her. The feel of her, the heat rising from her ran through him, inundating his senses and his mind, his body ached with want and need. His tongue tingled as he traced every line, every curve. He found her nipples and pulled them into his mouth, one at a time, softly sucking as she panted and writhed under him. Her hips arched forward seeking more from him. His hand wandered over her curves, across her thigh and slid between her legs. His hand skimmed over her downy mound just before his fingers slipped through her wet folds and thrust into her. She gasped as she cried out his name. The ache in his body echoed hers as a growl rumbled in his chest.
"Maker, I want you so badly it hurts," he moaned against her throat.
"I'm all yours, love," she mewed as his thumb caressed the taut nub of nerves causing her to cry out again.
He kissed his way from her neck to her mouth, her lips immediately seeking out his. Her tongue soft and sweet, urgently pressed into his mouth filling him with the burning need to feel her warm, silky lips on him…everywhere. Tonight, however, was about her.
He drew his lips down her neck, his tongue licked the hollow of her throat and she moaned out his name. "Ah, Mari, you are so beautiful," he sighed as his lips trailed a path down to her perfect breasts. She arched her back, pressing her supple mounds against his lips. Once again, Anders took her into his mouth, he laved and massaged the nipple with his tongue while his fingers stroked, caressed and pinched the other. She was delicious and Anders lost himself in the sweetness and warmth of her skin. Mari's head fell back, her mouth opened as she gasped and panted with each stroke and caress.
He moved his lips down her body, licking along the underside of her breasts to her ribs, down her stomach. He paused as he kissed her navel and said a silent hello to his child growing inside her. He indulged himself in the taste, smell and feel of her as he worked his way down between her legs. His hand brushed the soft curls, his fingers skimming the edges of her folds. Mari shivered in anticipation. Anders looked up at her and smiled. Her cheeks were flushed, her breath was ragged and he knew her heart was racing. He loved seeing her like this, wanting…needing his touch…eager for him to bring satisfaction. Desire and need coursed to his groin and a groan escaped his lips as his own need became almost painful.
His fingers grazed her tender nub as he slowly slid a finger into her wet center. Oh Maker…Anders melted again as her warmth sent his mind spinning, his body aching, the need to be in her pulsing deep within him.
Anders dropped his head between her legs, his lips grazing over her before his tongue parted her and tasted the sweetness of her desire. He licked, tasted and devoured her and he felt her body tense and he brought her to the brink several times, but withdrew just before she slipped over the edge. She cursed at him and he smiled as he sucked her bud into his mouth, caressing it with his tongue, her breath ragged, hectic. Anders' tongue slid down the length of her folds and he hovered just outside her entrance, he teased her just a little longer before he finally plunged his tongue into her swollen flesh. Mari cried out as her hips pressed into him, her hands sliding into his hair locking him to her. He slowly withdrew and then thrust inside again and he delighted in her moans and cries of pleasure. He slid his tongue out and replaced it with his fingers. His mouth covered her taut nub as his fingers pushed deep inside. Her warm center was slick with desire as his fingers increased in pressure and speed. Her legs trembled and shook as his tongue mercilessly licked her and his fingers moved unrelentingly in and out of her. Mari cried out, her body taut as the pleasure built up until she finally screamed out his name as a tremor violently shook her.
Not giving her time to recover, in one quick movement Anders moved to his knees, pulled her hips to him and sank deep into her. Shock wave after shock wave rocked his body as her heat and wetness enraptured him. Still grasping her hips, he withdrew and plunged into her depths again. He withdrew once more then buried himself to the hilt and her second release was almost instantaneous, ripping through her whole body as she convulsed around him. It took everything he had not to slip over the edge with her. Once he had gained control, he slowly began to move inside her again, gradually picking up the tempo. She arched her back and wrapped her legs around his waist bringing him even deeper into her. Maker, what did I do to deserve such an incredible woman?
Her fingers dug into his back as she clung to him. He pulled back and looked down into the face that he knew so well. He relished seeing her like this…so open, so vulnerable. Something she never allowed anyone else to see. Her raven tresses spread out over the bed and around her face. Maker he loved this woman.
She smiled up at him as she reached up to entwine her fingers in his hair and pull him to her. Her lips captured his as she passionately yet lovingly kissed him. Holding him tightly to her she rolled him onto his back with a grace only she could possess. He gripped her hips as she began to rock against him. He watched as she tilted her head back, her hair flowing down her back as her hands ran over his chest. Her breathing was ragged and strained as she rode against him. He reached down between them, caressing her nub as magic flowed from his fingertips sending tiny pulsating jolts through her body.
"ANDERS!" She screamed. Never had he heard a sound more perfect or more joyous. Her body convulsed and tightened around him. This time he didn't hold back and he allowed her to carry him over the edge. His body trembled as the waves of ecstasy crashed hard and raged through him, blurring his vision. When his senses finally returned, he pulled her down to him and wrapped his arms tightly around her as they both tried to catch their breath. She kissed his throat as she murmured, "I love you Anders… with all of my heart."
He pressed his lips to the top of her forehead. "I love you more than you could ever know. You have never lost faith in me, even when you had every reason to turn away from me. Mari, you are the most important thing in my life. I would do anything… anything to make this world a better place for you. No matter what happens please know that, please hold onto that."
"Anders…"
He interrupted her as his lips pressed against hers. "No more talking, my love," he whispered as he claimed her as his, one last time.
The following morning Anders stood by their bed and stared down at her sleeping form. She was so beautiful as she slept so peacefully. His heart ached at the thought that this might be the last time for a very long time that she would be able to sleep so restfully. He knew today would be the day that he broke her heart and destroyed whatever possible future they had together. He also knew that today might be the day she was forced to support his execution. He couldn't blame her if she did. She held political power in this city, she was respected and revered and there would be a loud outcry from the people for justice and vengeance, with him as the focal point of their rage. This time her title and all of her accomplishments would not protect him from the demands of the people. She would be forced to execute him to satisfy the need for revenge or else she would lose everything and he refused to allow that to happen.
She stirred in her sleep as he gently sat down beside her and tenderly caressed her stomach. He had not told her that she was carrying their child. She would find out soon enough. He knew that she had some very tough decisions to make today and that information would only influence her decision…a decision she needed to make logically and rationally.
He leaned down and lovingly kissed her belly. Good-bye little one. It breaks my heart to know that I will never meet you; to never hold you or feel your tiny fingers curl around mine, but please know that I deeply and profoundly love you already. I pray that I am leaving you a world that will be free of hatred and fear and that if you are a mage, that you will be allowed to choose the life you want.
He leaned forward and kissed her cheek. He stood up, wiped the tears from his eyes and headed to the clinic to wait for the events of the day to unfold.
xxXxx
Tristen, Nate and Zev sat with Sabrina in her office, going over the details for their exploration back into the Deep Roads, when a messenger burst in.
"Forgive the intrusion, Commander, but an urgent message was just delivered for you," the young elf said as he handed her a note. She gave the messenger a few pieces of silver and quickly opened the parchment.
Bree,
I just received a pleading message from First Enchanter Orsino requesting my aid. Meredith has finally slipped over the edge and is an Archdemon short of a Blight. She has accused Orsino of harboring blood mages and now she wants to lock down the tower and search it from top to bottom. They are heading to the Chantry to bring the matter before the Grand Cleric. Thank the Maker that Anders had already left for the clinic when I received this message. I know that the Wardens try to remain politically neutral, but I have grave concerns if Anders hears about this and comes to investigate. This is the type of confrontation that could send him over the edge. Can you please meet me outside the Chantry as soon as possible?
Thank you,
Mari
Sabrina stood up as she handed the note to Tristen. She looked over at Zev and Nate, "Mari is expecting trouble at the Chantry. She is concerned Anders will show up and incite conflict, she has asked us to assist if he does appear." She paused as she calculated something. "I don't like this. I can't put my finger on it, but something doesn't feel right. Zev, get Kaylessa and both of you come prepared for the ritual. I also want to bring Gabe, as an ex-templar he may be able to help reduce the tension."
They all nodded and left to get ready except for Tristen.
Once they were alone he gently pulled her into his arms. "Brin, I don't like this. This city is a hot bed of political unrest. As Wardens we need to remain as far away from political turmoil as possible, but as the Hero of Ferelden and a Noble this is extremely dangerous for you. You're on foreign soil, I'm very worried about you."
"Trust me, I know and understand your concerns, Love. As much as I dislike the templars I am not stepping into this nightmare. I am only there for Anders. I agree with Mari, as unstable as he has been lately, this is the exact thing that could set him off. I want to be prepared to bring him in as a Warden if we must," Sabrina replied. Then she leaned in and passionately kissed him. "Your concern for my safety is a real turn on."
Tristen laughed. "Well then you should be turned on all the time because you have me in a constant state of anxiety for your well being."
Sabrina slid her hand down his back to his firm bottom. She grasped it as she purred, "How do you know I'm not?"
Tristen's wicked, sexy grin spread across his face as his lips grazed her ear sending shivers down her spine. "Well, that's good to know and I plan on taking full advantage of it when we get back," he whispered just before his lips eagerly reclaimed hers.
Sabrina's estate was only steps away from the Chantry and fifteen minutes later the Wardens were making their way up the Chantry courtyard steps. The ground bucked and rocked when a loud explosion muted all other sounds. They all looked up as a large pillar of red fire soared into the sky; it twisted and swirled for several minutes before it exploded outward and they ran for cover as molten rock and debris rained down on them.
"Holy shit, were they keeping an Archdemon locked up in there?" Zev asked.
"I was thinking the exact same thing," Sabrina replied dryly as they all raced up to the Chantry courtyard, once the skies were relatively clear again.
She skidded to a stop when she saw Anders yelling at Orsino. "I removed the chance of compromise because there isno compromise. The world we live in must change; their views of us must be altered. We have the right to be free, to live, to love, to work as free men and women. But freedom, Orsino, comes with a price and that levy is being paid today. No one will come out of this untouched, but a new world will emerge… a better world for future mages." Anders then banged his staff on the ground as if it were a gavel.
"The Grand Cleric has been murdered by magic, the Chantry destroyed. I hereby invoke the Right of Annulment. Every mage in the circle is to be executed. Immediately!" Meredith commanded.
From behind her both Kaylessa and Gabriel gasped. "She can't do that," Kaylessa cried out.
"Commander, we have to help them," Gabriel declared.
"Our first priority is Anders," Sabrina stated.
"But h-he just murdered all of those innocent people," Gabriel retorted.
"He is a Grey Warden, Gabriel, and we will deal with him our own way. He is not himself and he didn't act alone. We stick to the plan. Zev, I need you blend into the shadows and get that potion to Anders undetected. Make sure he drinks all of it." Zev nodded and then melted from sight.
She turned to Kaylessa, "How long do we have before it's impossible to bring him back?"
"Fifteen minutes at the most. I wouldn't trust bringing him back after that," Kaylessa said.
"Then we will have to move very quickly to get him back to my house," Sabrina said and they all nodded in agreement.
Sabrina's attention was drawn back to the chaos that was taking place around the courtyard. "I will leave your friend for you to deal with," Orsino said before he headed off toward the Gallows.
Mari walked over to Anders. He looked up at her with such a forlorn look it broke Sabrina's heart. "Mari... there isn't anything you can possibly say, that I haven't said to myself a thousand times."
"How could you let him win?" She asked hopelessly.
"I-I tried to fight him for as long as I could… but things changed, I changed. Mari, I knew the world needed to change too. I took a spirit into my soul and altered myself forever to achieve this. This is the justice that all mages deserve," Anders muttered.
"Anders, why couldn't you tell me? Why didn't you trust me?" Mari pleaded.
"I wanted to, Mari. Every night that I held you in my arms I wanted to tell you, but I didn't want you involved. I couldn't do that to you, but the world needs to see this. They need to see the damage that their fears and prejudices bring, " Anders replied.
"But don't you see, I'm still involved Anders! Everyone knows that we are lovers and that you live with me. They will assume that I helped you. They will believe that I murdered all those innocent people to further the cause of my lover. Did you even stop to consider what this would do to me or am I just one of your causalities of war," she spat at him.
"I'm sorry, Mari. I never meant to cause you any harm, but I did what needed to be done. If I pay for that with my life, then so be it," Anders said.
"Anders must die!" Sebastian bellowed from behind them. "He caused the brutal death of an innocent woman. Someone who knew you Mari, who trusted you; you can not let this abomination walk free. Either he dies, or I will return with such an army that there will be nothing left of Kirkwall."
A loud cheer went up from the crowd that had gathered and several onlookers began to chant "Kill the Mage". Sabrina watched as Mari rubbed her temples trying ease the pain. How many times had she done that exact same thing?
Sabrina stepped into the courtyard and everyone turned to look at her. Sabrina looked into Mari's eyes and she saw that they were etched with pain, shock and fear. She ran over to Sabrina and shook her head. "We are too late. He can't be saved and even if I wanted to, I don't think this mob would let me."
Sabrina took Mari's hand and looked directly into her eyes, "Give the crowd the justice they are demanding. Kill him."
"What?" Mari exclaimed.
"We are ready to perform the ritual. If you take his life, it will take the suspicion off of you, it will meet the mob's need for revenge and it will allow me to get Anders safely out of the city. Trust me Mari, I won't let him die."
Mari looked over at Anders sitting on the block of debris. He had his head in his hands as he tried to conceal the potion bottle that he was taking small sips from. "What is he drinking?"
"Zev is a potions master. He created a potion with Kaylessa that will make it easier to revive Anders through a resurrection spell," Sabrina replied.
"How does it work?" Mari asked.
"It will preserve his body and enough blood to give us enough time to get him away, to resurrect him without brain damage."
"Bree, if this were anyone else I would tell them to go to hell, but I know you would never purposely harm Anders. So what do you need me to do?"
"Hand me your dagger," Sabrina said. Mari did so as Tristen poured a silver liquid into Sabrina's hand. Sabrina coated the blade with the liquid and then handed it back to Mari. "That will ease the pain of the blade entering him. It will still hurt, but not nearly as bad."
Mari looked at the dagger and then back at Sabrina. "I dreamt of this."
"What?" Sabrina questioned.
"I dreamt of this very moment. In my dream I was forced to k-kill him," Mari said as her voice broke. She looked at Sabrina. "I don't know if I can do this, Bree. How am I supposed to drive this knife into the heart of the man that I love, the father of the child that I am carrying?"
Sabrina's mouth gaped open. "Y-you're pregnant?"
Mari nodded as the tears rolled down her cheeks. "I don't think I have the strength to kill him. Maker help me, but I still love him too much to do this."
"Mari, I could do this for you, but if you are the one to execute him, it will remove the doubt and skepticism that you were involved with this plot," Sabrina said.
"Mari! What is your decision? Will you allow this abomination to live?" Sebastian roared.
Both Mari and Sabrina turned to face the crowd. Sabrina walked over to Anders and knelt before him. "Do you trust me Anders?"
"Of course Commander, with my life," Anders replied.
"Well that's good my friend, because I'm about to ask you give it up briefly for me, but trust me Anders, we will see each other again in this life," Sabrina said cryptically as she stood up.
Mari came up behind Anders. Sabrina noticed the rogue's hand was shaking as she gripped the pommel of the dagger so tightly that her knuckles were white. Her face was conflicted with fear, doubt and heartache. Her wavering gaze fell on Sabrina as if silently begging the Commander to take her place. Sabrina looked compassionately back at the young woman and gave an encouraging nod. Mari closed her eyes as she composed herself. She pushed back the tears that were trying to escape, she drew in a deep breath as she found her inner strength. She leaned over and whispered to Anders, "I-I love you. Please know it is killing me to do this." And with a cry of pain and loss, Mari drove the dagger into his back, finding her way expertly between his ribs and forced it all the way into his heart.
A slight cry escaped his lips as a few drops of blood oozed from his mouth. Anders slid to his knees and fell over onto his side. A wail tore from Mari's throat as she watched Anders collapse to the ground. She stared at the red blood that was now staining her trembling hands. She moved to his side, knelt beside him, and caressed his cheek as she chanted, "I'm so sorry, my love. I'm so sorry it ended like this."
Wanting to give Mari a moment of privacy to mourn her loss, Sabrina stepped to the side and waved Isabela over. "Isabela, when this battle is over, I will send word to Mari that all of the preparations for Anders have been taken care of. By tomorrow morning, I need you to get Mari safely out of the city. A year from today I will have a messenger waiting in a back room at the Randy Stag in Amaranthine. Make sure you have her with you," Sabrina said.
"Why?" Isabela asked.
Sabrina gave a slight smile, "Because not all is as it seems. Please give me your word."
Isabela nodded. "Good, now get her out of here. We need to work," Sabrina ordered.
"Do I at least get to feel the crack of a whip on my arse while I beg for another with that order, Commander?" Isabela asked.
Sabrina raised an eye brow, "I'll do more than crack my whip if you don't get your arse out of here."
"Promises, promises," Isabela chortled. She walked over to Mari and whispered in her ear.
The young rogue gave a curt nodded and got to her feet. She looked over at Sabrina, "Please take care of him."
Sabrina looked at Mari sympathetically and then at the crowd. She spoke in a voice loud enough for all to hear. "He is a Warden and we take care of our own." With that she gave a nod and the Wardens lifted their fallen brother and swiftly made their way toward the estate while Mari and her companions made their way towards the Gallows.
The moment that they entered the estate they eased Anders onto the large dining room table. Kaylessa immediately began casting the resurrection spell. After a few minutes she requested a lyrium potion which Gabe handed to her. She drank it quickly and went back to work. The longer it took, the more nervous Sabrina became and she began to pace around the room.
Anders sat on a bench in a breathtaking garden. The fragrance from the flowers permeated his nose with the sweetest scent he had ever smelled. The birds in the large trees chirped lively at his presence and he noticed for the first time in a very long time how quiet his mind was and how at peace he felt. The tranquility of the silence soothed him like nothing he had ever experienced before and he smiled with the knowledge that once again his mind and spirit belonged to just him. He breathed a sigh of relief. He ached at the thought of never seeing Mari again, of never meeting his child, but to have his mind back, to be alone with his thoughts had brought him the sweetest serenity he had ever known. He tilted his head back, his mind cleared of all thoughts and he bathed in the warmth of the sun. If this was heaven then he could get used to this.
"Anders." a soft, but stern voice said.
Anders' head turned and he looked into the pale, ghostly face of Justice. Anders smiled warily, "Justice?"
The spirit smiled back at him and sat down beside him on the bench, "Yes, Anders it's me."
"Thank the Maker, you are yourself again," Anders replied.
"Yes. The moment your heart stopped beating I was free from all the anger and hatred, and I returned to the Fade as myself," Justice replied.
"I'm so sorry. I never thought my anger would corrupt you and change you so severely."
"Neither of us could have foreseen what would happen. You can't continue to blame yourself Anders, or else the guilt will destroy all that is good in you," Justice stated.
"Good in me? How can there be any good left in me after what I did?" he said sadly and stared at his hands, unable to look at the spirit.
Justice looked at him for a long moment before he spoke. "Anders, when I was in Kristoff's body I discovered the true nature of love, what it meant to give love and to be loved in return. What you share with Mari is even more powerful than anything I felt through Kristoff. Unfortunately, Vengeance also understood the true nature of love and he used it, used your need to protect Mari and your children to fulfill his plan. Blowing up the Chantry was an act of vengeful violence. It was not justice, but I understand your reasons and maybe through this horrific act justice can still be served."
Anders eyes snapped up to look directly at the spirit. He barely processed anything the spirit said. His mind was hung up on that one word. "Children?"
Justice only smiled, but remained silent for a long moment. "I wanted to thank you, Anders for having the courage to free us both."
"Well, it isn't like I had much of a choice in that," Anders replied.
"You could have run, you could have begged for your life, but you didn't. You accepted the consequences of your actions. You remained vigilant when greater, stronger men would have faltered. You knew that this action would cost you everything, but you remained diligent. Now Anders, if you are the man that I think you are, you must not let this opportunity slip by you. You must finish the work that you started, but now with a fair and just hand that is tempered with mercy!" Justice declared.
"Finish the work I started?" Anders exclaimed incredulously. "I'm not sure if you noticed, Justice, but I'm dead."
Justice smiled at him. "For now."
Anders cocked an eyebrow. "What in the Maker's blue balls does that mean?"
Justice stood and Anders followed his lead. "All in due course. Now, my friend, this is where we part. It has been an honor knowing you. Thank you for letting me be a part of you. I know that it wasn't always easy and merging with you has taught me a very valuable lesson. I will never again make the mistake of choosing a living host. Their feelings and beliefs are too ingrained for me to overcome. You must realize and accept that even though things didn't work out as we had planned, you can still make the world a better place for mages and for your children. You can make a difference, Anders."
Anders studied the spirit for a long time then he reached over and hugged him. "Thank you, Justice. You have taught me a lot. Lessons I will always try to follow."
The spirit tentatively hugged him back at first, but then fiercely gripped him. "Your welcome, my friend. Take care of yourself, your children and your beautiful wife." The spirit then pulled away and winked at the stunned mage then turned to head down the garden path.
Anders slumped back down onto the bench, astounded by the revelations that Justice had told him. He rested his head in his hands as he tried to absorb everything. He heard the sound of children's laughter and he thought about the child or children he would never meet. Children? Wife? It boggled the mind. He was dead. Didn't Justice understand that?
But even though his circumstances didn't look promising he couldn't keep his thoughts from drifting to the children he would never meet. He knew they would be in wonderful hands with Mari. She would tenderly love them and ferociously protect them. He tried to picture what they would look like, but he could only conjure up a portrait that he had seen of Mari as a child. She had the sweetest face, with soft pink lips, a button nose, her striking blue eyes and raven curly locks that sat on her shoulders.
"What are you thinking about?" the voice of a young child asked, pulling him out of his thoughts.
He sat up and looked into the beautiful face of a young girl. She had blond curly hair and deep blue eyes…eyes that looked remarkably like Mari's; behind her stood a boy about the same age. His features were very similar to the girls so they must be siblings; although he had a head of straight jet black hair, he possessed the same deep blue eyes.
"I was just enjoying the warmth of the sun and relaxing in the peacefulness of the garden," Anders replied.
"But you don't have time to bask in the sun," the young boy said.
Anders looked at them quizzically. "But I'm dead. I have all the time in the world."
"No you don't. You need to head back. You are needed there, you still have much to accomplish," the girl replied.
"Who are you?' Anders asked.
"We are souls that are waiting to be born. The Book of Light tells us that the Maker knows us before we are even born. Our souls have been here with the Maker, but now that we have been conceived and will be born in time, we are closer to the Veil and can see people transitioning between this life and the next. As our time gets closer, we are able to see what is happening in both planes of existence. It's this knowledge that has told us that you must go back, and you need to do it soon," the boy explained.
"But it's so peaceful here, there is no pain or suffering. I know that those that I love will be fine without me. And honestly, the longer I stay here, the less I can remember about the pain and the loss. I miss those that I left behind less and less; their faces fading with each passing second," Anders replied.
"Yes we know, that is why you must leave now," the girl urgently insisted.
"But I like it here and I don't…"
"Daddy, please! We don't want to grow up without you," the girl pleaded.
Anders eyes widened with the realization that he was looking at his children. He reached to scoop them into his arms, but they began to fade away as he was pulled into a dark tunnel and everything went black.
Sabrina continued to pace around the room. Frustrated, she ran her fingers through her tangled hair.
"Please Maker, please let him live. You can't take him, not now. Anders has to live, he is going to be a father," Sabrina silently prayed.
By Andraste's flaming arse, he was a Grey Warden and he was going to be a father. A bittersweet smile spread across her face. Anders was lucky, he was one of the few Grey Wardens able to father a child after taking the taint into their blood. A spark of jealousy rose up as the pain of never conceiving a child with Tristen, surfaced once again. She wanted to have his child more than anything in this world, but she knew it would never happen. Alistair, the lucky bastard, already had a son and if the rumors were true, Anora was pregnant with their second. And now Anders. Two Wardens who had fathered children with partners that were taint free, and that is why she would never know the joy of handing Tristen his son or daughter to hold. She felt the sting of tears and she pushed them back. She would rather spend the rest of her life childless and be with Tristen, than have a dozen children with another man.
As she walked by Tristen, he pulled her into his arms and whispered, "You have a sad smile on your face and I see the tears in your eyes. It's a very contradictory expression."
"I'll tell you about it later," she whispered back and she began to pull out of his arms, but Tristen held her firmly against him.
"Sorry Love, but you are done pacing. You were making me nervous just watching you." He kissed the side of her neck and whispered, "Children would mean nothing to me, if I didn't have you. It's you Brin, only you matter to me. You're all I need to be happy."
She tilted her head and looked at him, "You heard Mari say she was pregnant?"
Tristen nodded and squeezed her a little tighter. "You're all I want. I only need you to be happy. Without you the rest is pointless."
"I love you," she whispered.
"I love you too. Now stop worrying about Anders and have a little faith in your Warden. She is an excellent mage. If anyone can save him, it's her," Tristen murmured in her ear as they watched Kaylessa drink another lyrium potion.
It seemed like hours later, but in reality only minutes had passed when Kaylessa slumped to the floor completely exhausted, as Anders began to cough and shake. He slowly opened his eyes and smiled as he murmured, "Twins."
Author Notes – Thank you once again to everyone for your reviews and for adding this story to your alert and favs list. I truly appreciate you taking the time to read and review this story. I always look forward to reading wonderful your thoughts and comments.
I also want to thank Goddess Beta One – RandomWittering and Goddess Beta Two –Jinx1983 for their spankalicious beta-ing skills, for your support and for being such a great sounding board. You ladies are the best and I am honored to call you my friends!