Growing up, Kanaya always felt a little bit scared.

She was raised by her sister- her mother died before she could even get to know her, and her dad was always distant. One day, he just didn't come back- Porrim was sixteen at the time, Kanaya just hitting puberty- and no one was surprised.

It wasn't fitting to say Porrim took over as a parent- Porrim was always the parent, from the day she grew old enough to realise nobody else was going to be- from the day she was forced to realise that, if she wanted something, she'd had to get it herself.

Kanaya helped as well as she could. Porrim taught her everything- how to behave around people and how to defend herself first, how to clean and cook later, how to drive the moment Kanaya grew tall enough to reach the brakes- and there was always a silent understanding between them, the understanding that Porrim might disappear one day, just like their father had, but not for the same reason, and that Kanaya was to tend for herself then, and that she wasn't to grieve, because grieving took time and energy, and they couldn't afford to lose either of them.

Sugar coating never existed in their household- Porrim walked in on her mother's lifeless corpse in a bathtub filled with watered down blood, both hands slit from the wrist to the elbow- she had to fake an ID before calling the police because if not they'd be taken away by the social service and then they'd find out about them- she told Kanaya to stay in the living room at all costs before leaving the house, and when she returned fifty minutes later, she found her sister pale and shaken. Kanaya never disobeyed Porrim's orders again.

When Kanaya turned eighteen, they parted ways- Kanaya went to become a fashion designer, because Porrim was adamant her sister was not to throw her future away because of a dysfunctional family and an endangering gene code- and Porrim went on to follow her own calling, as she called it. Kanaya didn't ask- the look in her sister's eyes was different than it was when she talked about her other jobs, the ones she accepted to keep them fed and clothed and safe, so Kanaya wasn't as worried.

Maybe she should have been.

Porrim was dead now, after all.

But Vantas knew her- Vantas, the second most notorious man in the Mutant File (nobody could compete with Dirk Strider, that was just the way universe worked, she guessed)- and if Vantas knew her, then at least her sister died fighting for a good cause-
And if Kanaya was to go today, then, fuck it, she wasn't going to let her sister down.

Next to her, Rose shivered. Kanaya studied her form- thin shoulders, protruding collar bones, thin, silky blonde hair, oddly captivating violet eyes, long black skirt and a light pink cotton top hugging her frail figure nicely. Kanaya was enchanted the moment she had entered the compartment, and the feeling only grew stronger as she got to know her.

"This dying thing." Rose muttered, catching her eye. Kanaya blushed. "Quite inconvenient."

"Couldn't agree more." Kanaya smiled. "It is indeed such bullshit."

Rose smirked back, reached out, and grabbed Kanaya's hand. Kanaya squeezed it back, causing the smirk to turn into a full-on smile.

***ooo***

"How did you find out?"

Karkat's head flew up- Eridan had the same reaction, while Roxy seemed to have been expecting it. Dave studied them both before shrugging, leaning back in his chair.

"Come on- you're both going to drive yourself mad thinking."

"Some of us can handle basic thought processes without diving off from the deep end." Karkat snapped back. Dave sighed.

"Well, I'm losing my mind here, so." He sat up again. "Humour me."

"How did we find out what." Eridan muttered. Roxy nudged him in the shoulder.
"That you're a Mutant, duhh." She giggled. Karkat had to admire her cheeriness. Her past actions made it clear she was as nervous as the rest of them, and yet, while the others resorted to sex and violence to blow off steam, she kept her brave face on-

It probably wasn't really healthy, but fuck, it was comforting.

"Though if you want to share your gay panic experience, feel free." Dave shrugged. "We're still in America, after all."

"For a person currently in mortal danger, your unwavering patriotism is most heart-warming." Karkat noted. Dave blew him a kiss.

Eridan cleared his throat, causing Dave to glance in his direction.
"You go first." The tone of his voice was odd, and it wasn't until Dave's next sentence Karkat connected the dots.

"Seventh grade, this dork in my algebra class- but my Bro is gay so I was always okay with it." He then sat up straighter, mouth opened in surprise. Eridan smirked.

"You pissed of a heart wielder." Roxy noted- the expression in her eyes seemed a bit saddened, though, and it was then that Karkat realised Dave referred to Dirk Strider in present tense- he still thinks of him as alive.

Kanaya said all American mutants are dead. His brain then screamed back, and he bit his cheek to stop himself from going down that road, because Kankri was alive because Karkat needed him to be and fuck.

"Don't-" Dave finally got himself together enough to speak. "Never do that again."

Eridan shrugged. "Don't push me and I won't."

"You don't stutter when you're menacing." Roxy noted, looking up at him.

"I- I don't stutter." Eridan frowned. Blush crept up his neck. Dave looked over to Karkat, and made a small whining noise. Karkat shrugged in compassion.

"Yes you do." Roxy nudged him again. "And it's adorable."

Before Eridan could reply, she was talking to the room again.

"Our whole family is Mutant, so I always knew I probably am as well." She shrugged. "Then at twelve I just started feeling tired all the time and lost my passion for everything and then we did some research and figured out I'm a Void wielder." She leaned back, bright smile on her face- explains the alcoholism, actually, fuck, explains everything. "Karkat, next!"

Karkat gestured to his horns. "They sprouted out of my head, kind of sealed the deal."

Dave snorted. "Ampora?"

"Honestly? I was the most hated kid in class, and then during a school project, everyone went with my idea." He sighed, slumping against the wall- for some reason, both him and Roxy opted to sit on the alcohol soaked carpet instead of using chairs, like civilised human beings. "Texted Cro- my brother- about it. He arrived fifteen minutes later to pick me up, told me he's a Hope wielder, and that I might be as well."

"That's the saddest thing I've ever heard." Dave noted.

"Your brother is dead." Eridan retorted. Roxy sat up, nudging him less than gently.

"Wonder why you were the most hated kid in class." Karkat growled out. Eridan sighed.

"Sorry." He muttered, and then paused for a second. "Cro died a year ago."

"Dead brother club, awesome." Karkat snapped. "Now lets not mention that any more, shall we?"

"Listen to the Crabby McNubs." Dave smirked. Karkat sighed, not bothering to reply.

"So?" Eridan raised an eyebrow. Dave replied in similar question.

"What he's trying to say is," Roxy intervened. "You started this, you might as well reply?"

"Ohh." Dave shrugged. "As Rox said, we're all mutants. I just happened to be able to go back through time."

"You can go back through time?" Eridan asked, more than a little impressed.

Dave was silent for a second. "Five minutes."

"Once." Roxy added, grinning up at her sibling. "But when he was a kid he kept skipping short time periods- like, ten seconds, that sort of a thing- to fuck with us. Made mother think she was losing her mind."

Dave grinned. "Good times."

"You were four."

"Just because I don't remember them doesn't mean I can't miss them." Dave shrugged again. "If white girls can miss the fifties-"

"What did Rose tell you about white girl jokes?"

"Yo, no woman of colour misses racism."

"You can't miss something that's still present." Karkat butted in. "And alas, both racism and your immaturity are still very much existent."

Dave grabbed his chest in a mock display of heartbreak. "Karkat!"

"Ever got caught?" Eridan spoke up. Dave bit his lip.

"No." Karkat bit his lip. "My best friend did, though."

He could feel the eyes on him. "He okay now?"

Karkat shook his head. "Dead."

Eridan seemed a little pale. "Sollux Captor?"

"Yes." Karkat squinted. "How-"

"Father." Eridan answered- a little too quickly. "I wish I could have done something."

"Don't sweat it." Karkat's eyes lingered on Eridan. The latter avoided his gaze.

Well.

"We lived with Dirk Strider." Roxy shrugged. "Constantly on the run."

"I should have died with him." Dave said, before catching himself. Roxy sucked in a breath.

"Nobody should have died." Eridan spoke up again. "Nobody should be dying. We deserve to live as much as anyone-"

He stopped suddenly. "I feel really, really fucking helpless."

Suffocating silence fell over them.

"That's because you are." Dave muttered. "We all are."

The silence continued.

***ooo***

Meulin studied Kurloz' profile, telling herself it's only to be able to lip read. The silence she has grown accustomed to was never more of a disadvantage- but then again, from the stiff shoulders of the man besides here, and the two ladies with locked hands before them (they were most adorable, really- she secretly started referring to them as Rosemary, a secret she'd only be willing to share with her sister, and maybe Kurloz, if he proved himself capable of appreciating the fine art of shipping).

His profile was really good, though- nice jaw line, full lips, flattering facial structure, eyes framed with thick lashes and a subtle amount of eyeliner- he was, well, attractive.

He seemed to feel her gaze, for he looked over. Blushing, she looked away, before looking right back. He smirked.

She was mildly surprised when he grabbed her hand and tugged her closer, wrapping one arm around her shoulders, gently picking up her palm and running his finger over it.

Don't be nervous.

"I'm not." She mumbled. Kanaya and Rose both turned around for a second- okay, maybe not mubled. Kurloz snickered.

Lying is not nice.

Frowning, she grabbed his own palm.

Funny you should say that.

He shrugged, one hand still wrapped around her.

Biting her lip, she continued tracing letters on his skin.

Do you think there's hope for us?

He was silent for a while.

We'll see.

She nodded. He pulled her closer, and she relaxed into his side.

"I trust you." She whispered- really quietly, for she had grown paranoid by now. He seemed to hear her, though, for he squeezed her shoulder, smiling down at her.

"Is it a mistake?"

We'll see.

Again, but this time traced on her shoulder blade. She laughed to cover up the shivers running up her spine.

This dying thing sure sucked.

***ooo***

Nepeta stuck to Equius's side, partially because he was her best friend for years and made her feel safe and she felt very unsafe right now, and partially because Gamzee and Tavros creeped her out slightly.

Tavros was young, that much was obvious- she was just hitting eighteen and wasn't that old herself, but he seemed even younger, no matter what his ID said. Gamzee's age she could not read- the damned clown make up- but she felt the fling going on was pushing the law-set boundaries, and law-set boundaries were there for a reason.

"The age of consent in both USA and Canada is sixteen." Equius announced, loud enough for the two behind them hear it. Nepeta glanced up, smile tugging at her lips- so he was bothered by it as well.

"Excuse me?" Tavros' voice came out with that tiny stammer she learned to associate with him by now. She decided to take over from here.

"How old are you?" She turned around, still walking- Equius would stop her if she was to walk into something. Gamzee squinted at her, posture mildly threatening.

"Over the age of consent." Tavros replied- there was a silent edge to his voice, but she kept pushing.

"How much over?"

Tavros was almost glaring now. He didn't reply.

"Gamzee?"

"I'm over the age of consent too, sister." Gamzee rasped out. Equius was tensing by her side.

"I can tell that."

"It's all motherfucking legal, alright?" He spat out. "You can report me for being a sexual deviant once we're out of this motherfucking death trap."

A light blush was dusting Tavros' cheeks. Equius forehead seemed to be covered in sweat.

"I just might." Nepeta replied, giving Gamzee a cool stare before turning around once again. "Now lets find that motherfucking way out."

*A/N* Filler chapter filler chapterrrrrrrrrr

So Gamzee's and Tavros' fling is technically legal but I would probably not condone it in real life simply because emotional trauma and alcohol involved and the whole situation of imminent death hanging over their heads

I also did research on Canadian laws for this internet is magic

Thank you all for your kind reviews, feel free to leave some more pls

Eep ur all gr9