Chapter 7

I laid on my bed for a while, the memories a swarm inside my head. I don't know how long I remained there, but when I got up I could see that it was dark outside. I went over to my school bag, and began sorting through things that I would need mom to sign, or for Rinto to forge her signature on. I pushed my hand into my jacket pocket to pull out the flyer for cheerleading and color guard tryouts. I looked at it for a while and debated on whether or not I would actually try out. After some contemplation, I finally pinned it to the cork board hanging up on the opposite wall facing my bed.

Citrus came in, meowing softly as she rubbed against my leg. I picked her up and gently began to stroke her head and back, listening as she purred. I took her back to my bed and set her down before going down stairs for something to drink. It was silent in the house, which honestly made you feel small and lonely. I'd rather have silence than have to hear the loud screaming and banging of objects being thrown as mom and sperm donor fought.

I don't call my biological father dad or anything similar; that was an honor that he didn't deserve. I just referred to him as sperm donor, seeing that it was all he was good for; having sex and reproducing. I gripped the bar and sighed. He hasn't contacted me for four years, not even to call me on my thirteenth, fourteenth, fifteenth, not even my sixteenth birthday.

I remember walking in on him when I was eleven. I had just been dropped off by the school bus after school when I came home. We had lived in a different house then, a smaller one. I could hear them, or, more her than him.

"Daddy?" I had called out. I had walked past the kitchen to the small hallway that had one room; my parent's room. The bedroom door had been slightly ajar, with a bit of light peeking out into the hallway. I had set my bag pack down and crept towards the door, peeking in.

"Ah! Yes! Yes! Oh, more, more!"

When you've grown up in a pretty sheltered home, you don't really comprehend what's going on at eleven. I could see the blonde hair beneath, and I could see that scumbag on top of her. I don't know why I opened the door, other than the fact that I had wanted him to stop. I remember crying out to him as I came into the room.

"Daddy?"

I watched as they had tensed up, and the unknown woman staring wide eyed at me before she quickly tried to cover herself with the sheets. I remember Al looking at me, a face full of horror and guilt as he quickly tried to put his underwear on. I remember running out of the room, trying to find my mom.

Mom had been at college that day. Al had called out to me, but I immediately went and hid in the bathroom, locking the door so he couldn't come in. I remember Al trying to tell me not to tell mommy through the door, that it wasn't what it had looked like. I sat there and cried for an hour before falling asleep in the bathtub. I remember mom coming and knocking on the door after she had come home from college and picking Rinto up from baseball practice.

I remember telling her what happened, and her expression becoming dark before she told Rinto and I to go to our rooms. I believe that the blonde haired lady left while I had locked myself in the bathroom, because she hadn't been there when I came out. I thought that I had been in trouble at the time for telling her what I had seen, but as soon as I closed my bedroom door, I heard the yelling.

"You sick bastard, how the hell could you bring that woman into our home, fuck her in our bed, and in front of our daughter! Our eleven year old daughter!" I heard my mom scream.

"You're never home, you're always at college and working. You leave me with the kids and I'm done with it!" I heard Al yell back at her. I heard the loud bang as something hit the wall.

"I'm going to college to make a life for Rinto and Rin, to bring money into this house because everyone knows sure as hell that you aren't! You're out drinking and fucking other women, but bringing that vile woman into our home is the last straw. I'm taking the kids and we're leaving!" Mom shouted. I remember crying and Rinto slipping into my room to hold me as we listened to them fight.

"I want a divorce!" Al yelled, as mom opened my bedroom door and picked me up. She took Rinto by the hand and led him to the front door as she carried me. I remember mom looking back at Al with a cold face.

"Well you've got yourself one. At least there's one thing we can agree on." She told him darkly as she took Rinto and I out to the car and loaded us up.

"You can't take the kids." I heard Al shout, as he followed us out to the car. I could see him over mom's shoulder as Rinto climbed into the car.

"Go ahead and try to stop me then!" Mom turned to face him as she fastened me in, shutting the door behind her. I could hear them outside the car and I watched as they argued.

"Lola, you can't do this!" Al said. Rinto had held my hand as I watched. I saw mom push Al away as she climbed into the driver's side and quickly shut the door, locking it as Al tried to open it. I watched as he put his hands on her window, begging her not to take us with her. I remember hearing the tires squeal as she put the car into reverse and quickly pulled out, leaving Al to chase us down the road for a few blocks until he fell onto his knees, just sitting there in the road, watching us drive away.

Mom had taken us to her parent's house. Rinto and I shared the spare bed they had and she slept on the couch that unfolded out to make a bed. I remember living there until I was twelve years old, when we bought a new house. I remember hearing about mom serving Al divorce papers, her going to see a lawyer to fight for custody over Rinto and I. Al fought hard for us, arguing that mom was at college all the time, but in the end, mom won.

I had to visit Al every other weekend for about a year, but when I turned twelve, I stopped seeing him all together. Rinto had already been twelve at the time, and he decided he didn't want to see Al. It turns out that the woman he had been sleeping with had been his secretary, Anne. He ended up marrying her. I have a half-brother named Oliver. Anne had already been pregnant with my biological father's child and had been about two months along when I walked in on them. I met Oliver a couple of times after he was born, but I haven't seen him for four years now.

Rinto never received any calls from Al, and he didn't meet Oliver when he was born. Rinto had a deep hatred for Al, and made sure he never had anything to with him. My hair spilled past my shoulders and onto bar. The smooth marble looked dark in contrast to my hair. My grip on the bar loosened and I went to the fridge, opening it to look for my orange sodas. I grabbed a can and opened it, chugging the orange-cream flavored beverage. There were wine coolers and other assortments of alcohol stuffed at the back of the fridge.

I glanced over them and shook my head. During the divorce, when mom wasn't fighting for custody, or going to college, she was out at bars getting shit-face wasted. I would wake up at night to hear her throwing up in my grandparent's bathroom, her words slurred from the intake of alcohol. I would sit in there and rub her back as Rinto held her hair. I shut the fridge door, and looked over at the oven to see what time it was. It was eight forty three, and Rinto would get off at nine, but be home at nine thirty.

I took my drink into the living room and flicked on the TV. I had a new recording on InuYasha, so I pressed play. It was hard to focus on Kagome fighting with Kikyo, because my mind drifted to Mikuo. I knew I would have to apologize, he was only looking out for me, because he cares. How I was going to be able to face him after saying those awful things, was the question. I groaned in defeat. I could hear cars going past the house from outside, sometimes seeing the headlights shine through the curtains.

I was mentally and emotionally exhausted, but my body was wide awake. I leaned back against the couch and stared up at the ceiling. Len came into my thoughts and I instantly pushed him out.

I really just have too much on my mind.