"Hey you punk! I can't believe I actually met you outside of school!"

Gon just laughed good-naturedly. It was Saturday afternoon and he was standing on the sidewalk waiting for Killua to pick him up. He listened to his friend's (now boyfriend's) advice and took a day off from work, he didn't want to make Killua worry too, Aunt Mito's concerned glances were more than enough. He knew it too – it wouldn't do him any good if he'd overworked himself to the point of passing out from exhaustion and judging from his naps in the library he wasn't far from doing that.

Besides, taking a day off from work meant that he finally had time to meet up with Killua, what he really yearned for since they couldn't do so lately at all, save for that impromptu date the other took him on. Looking at the recent development of their relationship it was time to have another, more planned out one, so they agreed to have a movie night at Killua's place and Gon was now waiting for him to pick him up.

And, of course, Knuckle had to find him today, sling an arm around his shoulders and yell into his ears.

Of course.

It wasn't like Gon disliked his classmate, he had a good heart despite looking more like a thug than the animal lover he actually was. Right now he just wasn't the company Gon was looking forward to have though he didn't let it show.

"Watcha doin' out here?" Knuckle asked but he didn't wait for an answer. "You're kinda neglecting us, dontcha think? You never come with us when we invite you to hang out!"

"Uhm, sorry about that," Gon chuckled nervously, feeling a bit guilty now because he did neglect his friends a bit. "I've been busy with work you know," and with Killua too, but Knuckle didn't need to know that.

"Yeah, you're a hardworking guy," Knuckle nodded in agreement, finally lowering his arm and patting Gon roughly on the back making his classmate cough. "Still, you're hanging out in the library too much, what's up with that?"

Gon just shrugged, not knowing how to respond – better said what kind of answer wouldn't sound as an excuse. He went to the library because of Killua of course, and while he didn't think of his relationship with Killua as a secret, he was sure Killua didn't want to make it public.

"So, whatcha up to?" Knuckle asked his next question, seemingly not minding the lack of responses to his previous ones at all. "Meeting up with someone?"

"Yeah," Gon smiled, and he felt warmth settling in his chest. "I'm waiting for Killua."

To his mild surprise Knuckle fell into silence at this. He did tell his friends about his friendship with Killua and they were quite okay with it – maybe because they didn't really believe or, more likely, couldn't imagine it. Still, Knuckle's reaction was a bit strange.

"Is that so" Knuckle finally spoke up, contemplating what he just heard, before staring at Gon with an odd kind of hesitiation – as if he was considering whether he should say something or not. It wasn't usual for him at all. "Shoot saw the two of you a week ago," he started after a long pause, his tone hesitant.

"Really?" Gon asked back with feigned nonchalance. He was starting to understand what the cause of Knuckle's weird behaviour was; his date with Killua, when they became a couple was a week ago. "He should have said hi."

He could see Knuckle's face twisting with something but he choose to ignore it in favor of scanning the traffic for the familiar black car he was waiting for, but to no avail.

"He didn't want to bother you because he saw you holding hands," Knuckle said after another pause. He was staring at Gon as if he was trying to gauge what kind of reaction his words would elicit.

"I see," Gon nodded and was now glad that Killua wasn't there yet. He wanted to settle this with Knuckle before his boyfriend arrived lest something happened and made things awkward or unpleasant even. "That was very thoughtful of him."

Knuckle was silent once again, staring at him the same way he did before, but got his voice back sooner.

"Is it true then? Are you two, uh... a thing?" He uttered while avoiding looking at Gon.

Gon couldn't help but laugh at the awkward wording, but nodded nonetheless. "Yeah, we're a thing," he confirmed, his chest warming with happiness again, because it did make him incredibly happy, and he wasn't going to care about anyone's opinion.

A sudden rough pat on his back made him take a step forward, almost making him fall on his face, followed by Knuckle's yelling:

"Why didn't you tell us sooner, punk?!" His classmate grinned, patting him a few more times.

After regaining his balance, Gon just scratched the back of his head, a sheepish smile spreading on his face. Although he didn't really care about anyone's opinion, he was definitely relieved about his friend's positive reaction.

"Well, it's a recent thing, so..." he trailed off at the end of the sentence and shrugged. It was somewhat weird to talk to Knuckle of all people about this.

"I see, I see!" His classmate nodded animatedly, the conversation must've been a bit awkward for him too. "But now I get it why you've been hanging out with him so much," Knuckle nodded to himself, thinking a little bit before continuing: "you should introduce him to us!"

"I will!" Gon smiled at the suggestion, it made him happy that his friends were interested in getting to know his boyfriend. There was only one thing he needed to ask. "By the way, it's not really a secret, but we don't want too much attention, you know, because of Killua's past, so it would be nice if you wouldn't talk about this to anyone. Our friends are fine of course."

Knuckle made a contemplating grunt, nodding and patting Gon's back with a loud thud again. "Gotcha! I hate gossiping, so don't worry, I'll keep my mouth shut!"

"Thanks!" Gon smiled and made a fistbump with the other. Maybe it wasn't so bad that he met Knuckle today.

As if on cue, a black car pulled up next to them. Gon spun around on his heels with such a speed it would've made anyone else dizzy and felt the happiness in his chest bubble once again when he saw the white-haired young man behind the wheel. Killua gave him a small smile before his blue eyed gaze flickered over to Gon's left where Knuckle stood (and was not-so-subtly gaping at the vehicle in front of them). Gon gave him a sheepish smile and made a beckoning gesture with his hand since it was a good opportunity to introduce him to Knuckle – he liked the thought of Killua making more friends since he knew his boyfriend had only a few people he could trust and they were living far away from him.

As Killua stepped out of his car the wind ruffled his white locks and Gon's chest tightened – Killua was just too beautiful and Gon couldn't and didn't want to get used to it. The white-haired male was by his side with a few light steps and Gon couldn't help the smile that threatened to split his face in two.

"Hey!" He beamed.

"Hey," Killua replied with a more subtle one before he looked at Knuckle with mild interest, who awkwardly stood a bit further from them, staring everywhere but in their direction. When Killua looked back at him Gon could see the question marks in blue skies, but he just grinned.

"Killua, this is my classmate, Knuckle! We bumped into each other while I was waiting," Gon looked at Knuckle, who came closer at the mention of his name and grinned now at Killua.

"Yo, I'm Knuckle Bine, nice to meet ya!" He extended his hand towards Killua for a handshake.

"Killua Zoldyck," Killua introduced himself too and took the offered hand. "Nice to meet you too."

As Knuckle let go of Killua's hand he sized up the one in front of him from head to toe. Gon wasn't sure what to think about it, but he chose to remain silent and watch, he could only hope his classmate won't say anything rude.

"So, you're the guy who stole this punk away from us!" Knuckle jabbed his finger at Gon then broke out in loud laughter as if he just said something hilarious.

Gon quickly looked at Killua to see his reaction, but the white-haired male's expression was unreadable.

"Well, sorry about that!" Killua answered lightly before flashing a wry smile at Knuckle. It didn't seem like he was offended, but Gon knew his boyfriend was good at hiding his feelings. "I can't say he minded it too much though."

"Killua!" Gon whined as he felt his face flush when the aforementioned graced him this time with a catlike smirk as Knuckle laughed louder. Seems like he was worrying over nothing.

"I bet!" Knuckle said when he was done with laughing. "Okay, it was nice with you fellas, but I have to go now! 't was nice to meet ya!" He looked at Killua once again, patting his back with less force than he did before with Gon.

"Likewise," Killua nodded and Gon noticed how he stiffened a bit at the sudden gesture, but it didn't seem like Knuckle saw it, because he just waved.

"Shall we go too?" Killua turned to Gon after Knuckle left.

Gon nodded and they got into the car without saying a word. There was something strange in the air that Gon couldn't grasp, but he wasn't sure if it was because of what Knuckle said. Killua acted normal, maybe too normal – it was like they were just acquaintances and not in a relationship.

"I was late, sorry!" Killua broke the silence as they got in the line at the traffic light, snapping Gon out of his unease. "I got into a freaking traffic jam, I couldn't come earlier. Did you wait long? "

"No, it's fine," Gon smiled, "besides Knuckle was there so I wasn't bored."

"That's good to hear," his boyfriend nodded with that light tone again he was using while talking to Knuckle. Before Gon could say something Killua raised an eyebrow at him. "I didn't know you are so popular by the way."

He couldn't help the embarrassed blush that spread on his face, but he was also a bit irritated. "I'm so sorry!" He shook his head to will away the heat from his cheeks. "I don't know why Knuckle said that, I meet them every day in class after all! Besides, you're more important."

"Is that so?" Killua asked after a few moments of silence. He stared straight ahead at the road with a seemingly calm expression, but Gon could see the hints of pink on his profile.

"Yes it is. You're the most important to me, and you'll always be." Gon declared, his eyes never leaving his boyfriend's face.

It was obvious that Killua tried to look unaffected by this, but the colour was more prominent on his face and if that wasn't telling enough, his vice-like grip on the steering wheel was. "Isn't it a bit early for saying this?" He asked with an embarrassed scowl.

"No, I'm pretty sure about this," Gon answered simply, feeling his face warming a bit too.

Killua exhaled sharply, seemingly struggling how to react, his frown deepening as he gripped the wheel even harder. "Well, that's... good..." he then mumbled.

Gon burst out laughing before he could stop himself but he tried to stifle it as much as it was possible.

"Yeah, fine, just laugh at me!" Killua grumbled, his face resembling a tomato. "Sorry that I'm not so shameless like you."

"I'm not shameless, I'm just honest," Gon chuckled, "and I can't not laugh when you're so cute!"

Killua shot him a scandalized look, mumbling under his breath as he tried to focus on the road again. Gon could make out the words idiot and embarrassing and that was enough for him to grin harder.

Their ride was silent again, Killua manoeuvring the vehicle through the bustling traffic and Gon marvelling at his skills. Despite what Killua said before, he still thought that it was very cool to have a driver's license and own a car at this age and he really wished more people would recognize this.

"Knuckle said we should hang out with them some time," he broke the silence and this time Killua laughed, though it was a dry, humourless laughter.

"What, they want to see the asshole who stole their friend?"

"They want to meet my new friend!" Gon countered, thinking about giving Knuckle a piece of his mind the next time they meet. Also, it probably wasn't the right moment to tell Killua that his friend's knew about their relationship status. "They won't say anything stupid, I promise! And if they do, I'll kick them in the face." Gon finished matter-of-factly.

"Chivalry at its finest, I see," Killua remarked, a smile lurking in the corner of his mouth.

"It's one of my charm points," Gon stated easily, making Killua snort loudly.

"I don't mind," Killua said after a short pause, finally giving him a real smile since they got into the car.

"Oh no..." Killua mumbled as they neared the front door of his flat.

As soon as they got closer Gon could hear muffled meowing coming from said flat and it only grew louder as they approached, the noise followed by the sound of tiny paws tapping on the door. He glanced askance at his boyfriend who just heaved a weary sigh and shook his head.

"He's always acting like he hadn't had anything for years..." Killua said with another sigh as he searched for his keys. He threw a warning look at Gon before he unlocked the door. "Watch your step!" And he pushed the door open.

Just as he did that the meowing grew louder and now Gon could see the source of this entire ruckus: a gray-white cat whose fur really looked like he was wearing pants – Mr. Pants (or on his full name: Mr. Fluffy Pants). He couldn't say or do anything, because as soon as Killua shut the door behind them, toed his shoes off and made his way further inside the cat started running around his legs in zigzags, making its owner almost trip.

"Get out of my way!" Killua snapped, trying to avoid his pet with little success. "Oh yeah, you can leave your shoes and jacket there," he told Gon, when he finally managed to push Mr. Pants out of his way with his foot. "Make yourself at home, sit down anywhere you want!" He added and almost tripped the next moment because his cat was around his legs once again, meowing loudly. "For heaven's sake!"

Gon couldn't help the snorting laughter he burst out in and walked over to Killua to take one of the shopping bags from his hand so the other could at least grab at something when Mr. Pants decided to trip him over again. Killua gave him a grateful glance before scooping up the living tripping hazard so it would cease running around his legs. They made their way to the kitchen area which was at the further end of the spacious living room, only separated from it with a counter.

"Your flat is really nice!" Gon said as he placed the bag down the counter and looked around. The room was clean and organized save for the occasional random objects and cat toys on the floor, but Killua did own a cat so it was natural, Gon thought.

"Thanks," Killua nodded absentmindedly while searching the bags for the cat food. As soon as he opened the can Mr. Pants jumped on the counter, his meowing growing shriller, almost like it really hadn't had anything for a long time, and screamed directly into Killua's ears, who snapped at it in an equally shrill voice. "Yeah, I get it, meow, meow, now shut up, jeez... oh" he slapped a hand on his mouth but it was too late already, Gon heard everything.

Gon just watched his boyfriend disappear behind the counter with a beet red face (most likely to give Mr. Pants his food but also to hide his embarrassment) and wasn't sure what to do. Laughing was a reasonable reaction, but he felt stunned instead – he never thought he would witness Killua, cool, collected Killua meowing to a cat the way he did just moments ago. There were a few moments in the time he spent with Killua that he wanted to remember forever and this was definitely one of them now.

"What a time to be alive..." he shook his head, the image of a meowing Killua vivid in his mind.

First he just saw two pale hands grab on the countertop, followed by tousled white hair and sky blue eyes shortly after – Killua pulled himself up just so he could glare at Gon from behind his hideout without exposing his flushed face. The sight was more cute than intimidating, but Gon chose to keep this piece of information for himself.

"You should take my advice too!" Killua grumbled, slowly pulling himself up.

"And that was?" Gon frowned slightly; he didn't know what Killua meant.

"Shut up!" Killua deadpanned and turned away swiftly to start putting away the groceries.

Gon just laughed. This was so typical Killua – trying to act cool in front of him even though they were a couple now, but Gon didn't really mind it because it was cute. Besides, considering Killua's personality and past, it'll take him a while to be comfortable enough in Gon's presence to not feel like he has to be perfect and collected all the time and Gon was willing to wait patiently. Though, seeing this little scene, the way Killua seemed to forget he wasn't alone, it may not take so long.

"Need a hand?" He offered, stepping closer to the counter where the things lay that needed to be put away.

"'S fine," Killua shook his head, grabbing some of them and placing them in their respective cupboards. "Stop standing there, sit down."

"You can cook?" Ignoring his last sentence, Gon exclaimed as he watched the other put meat and eggs in the fridge.

"Just basic dishes," Killua shrugged, "it can be quite expensive to order or eat out all the time so I asked Gotoh to show me how to make a few things before I left home."

"That's amazing!" Gon stared at Killua in awe, but his boyfriend just rolled his eyes.

"Don't act like this, it's not a big deal!" He huffed. "Especially because you can cook too. So sit down already!"

Gon obeyed with a sheepish grin, pulling out one of the stools that stood next to the counter but continued to watch the white-haired boy bustle in the small kitchenette. Soon there were two bowls of potato chips and popcorn next to him and Killua finally stopped by the fridge.

"What do you want to drink?" He asked. "Water? Soda? Or something alcoholic?"

"What do you have?" It always surprised Gon that Killua drank alcohol, though he should've known better – drinking was one of the things that caused his boyfriend a lot of trouble in the past.

"Cider and beer," Killua answered after checking the content of the fridge.

"I thought you hate beer!" Gon raised his eyebrows in bemusement.

"I do," Killua confirmed. "But you said that you're okay with it, so I bought some."

"Oh," was all Gon could utter, feeling the warmth spreading in his chest but also on his cheeks again. It made him happy that Killua thought of him even though he himself disliked beer. "Then I'll have one!"

"Ok then, I think I'm done with everything," Killua nodded, looking around one last time to check if he forgot something after handing Gon his beer.

"You're not drinking?" Gon raised his brows askance after they moved all the food and drinks to the coffee table and noticed the soda can in Killua's hand.

"I can't drive you home if I do," Killua pointed out, already popping his drink open.

"That's okay, you don't need to drive me all the time," Gon smiled at his boyfriend. "I can walk just fine."

"And how else do you want to get your computer home?" The white-haired young man asked sceptically, pointing at the fixed machine next to the couch.

Gon drew his brows together. "I'll carry it, of course!" He declared as if it was the most obvious option in the world.

Killua let out an exasperated sigh.

"I didn't get this thing repaired so that someone steals it from you because you were walking around with it in the middle of the night, I hope you know that," he said flatly.

Gon thought about this for a moment. He was never tall but his strong built made up for his lack of height, also, working in a warehouse and carrying heavy stuff his whole shift certainly helped him to stay fit. Meaning, it wouldn't be the smartest thing of anyone to try anything funny, even if he wasn't too fond of violence.

"Don't worry Killua," he smiled brightly, making the other draw a fine eye brow up. "I don't think anyone would be stupid enough to attack me." To emphasize his words he straightened a bit and he saw Killua's gaze flicker to his torso, then to the side when their eyes met.

"Whatever," the other mumbled, a hint of pink appearing at the tips of his ears.

The sight made Gon stomach tighten with want, he wanted to reach out so badly, touch the soft porcelain skin and watch it bloom a brighter pink, but before he could do anything a satiated and happily purring Mr. Pants jumped on the couch next to him and started cleaning himself. This drew Killua's attention back to the couch as well; he let out a little snort and shook his head.

"Look at this!" He nodded his head at the cat. "Just a few minutes before he wanted to kill me and now he's all happy and innocent-looking. Incredible, isn't it?"

Gon just chuckled, reaching out and gently running his fingers along the cat's back, its soft fur tickling his palm. Mr. Pants made a surprised little noise and stopped bathing himself, but leaned into Gon's touch almost immediately.

"Hello there, Mister!" Gon greeted the purring feline. "You have very fancy pants!" As if understanding what he said, Mr. Pants rolled over to his other side to give Gon better access to his other side.

"Don't praise him too much, he is arrogant enough!" Killua chided him, but the fond look in his eyes was unmistakable.

"Jealous?" Gon smirked playfully.

"As if," Killua made a face but broke into a smirk as well.

It was silent for a while, Gon just petting Mr. Pants and Killua watching them. When Gon looked up, he saw Killua stare at him with a contemplative look in his blue eyes, an expression he often wore, when he thought Gon wasn't paying attention. But Gon noticed of course, especially because those looks became more and more frequent as time went by and they got closer to each other. There was a lingering doubt in Killua's eyes, as if he couldn't believe any of this was real, as if he doubted he deserved this just because he made mistakes in the past. It would explain why Killua kept his distance and was so hesitant, when Gon tried to get closer, why he flinched or froze when Gon took his hand even now, when they became a couple and this was a bit alarming.

"What is it?" Gon asked him. He really wanted to talk about it.

"Hm?" Killua blinked with mild confusion in his eyes, seemingly unaware of the expression he was wearing until now.

"You looked so serious."

"Ah," Killua looked away to the side, and Gon couldn't miss how his shoulders tensed a bit. "It's nothing, really," his boyfriend waved with one hand, trying to look nonchalant, "I was just thinking."

There was a short pause again, but Gon waited, he wanted Killua to talk to him without him asking questions, forcing the answers out of him.

"It's strange you know?" Killua went on, directing his attention to his cat that climbed onto Gon's lap and continued grooming himself. "He doesn't like strangers at all and it takes him a lot of time to befriend someone. He was wary of Palm too even though she gave him to me."

"Oh," Gon looked down at the cat too, trying to mask his disappointment at the evasive answer, because he was sure this wasn't why Killua made that face. "Well, people often tell me I'm good with animals," he shrugged, still not looking up.

"They were right," Killua agreed, but the silence that followed was awkward, even Mr. Pants started wagging his tail nervously.

Gon knew he was walking on thin ice and things could turn very uncomfortable, but he wanted to know, clarify what was making Killua look so serious at him, if his assumptions were right. This was important and Killua was so precious to him, he didn't want to lose him because none of them was brave enough to talk about sensitive topics.

"Killu..."

"So what movie do you want to watch?" Killua sprang up from the couch before Gon could finish, the sudden movement causing both Gon and Mr. Pants jolt with surprise.

"Uhm..." was all Gon could muster, his pent up emotions and that little scare leaving him speechless. Looking up he saw Killua watching him intently, waiting for his reply with a silent plea in his eyes to drop whatever Gon wanted to say before. He wasn't ready for this, so Gon took a deep breath, trying to ease the tension in his own shoulders. Patience Gon, everything has its right time, he told himself, he just had to wait and not rush headfirst into everything like he usually did. "Anything is fine, you're the expert here," he winked and flashed a smile at his boyfriend.

"I'm not an expert," Killua huffed while rolling his eyes, a tiny smile lingering in the corners of his mouth. "Alright then. I wanted to watch the original version of the movie we watched together, but I forgot that I lent it to Palm..." he made a face at his own forgetfulness, but Gon didn't pay attention.

What caught his attention was Palm's name. He knew she was a very close friend of Killua and his white-haired friend often mentioned her, but there was always a fond look, a little untold secret in Killua's eyes when he talked about her, and it made him feel uneasy, even though he knew (he hoped) they were just friends.

"Why are you making this face?" Killua's question snapped him out of his thoughts.

"I'm not making any face," he answered looking to the side and trying not to blush under the scrutiny of those beautiful blue eyes.

"Uh-uh, yeah right..." he didn't have to look at Killua to know that he couldn't fool the other with his pathetic denial. "So what's up? I only said that I lent..."

There was a sudden silence as Killua cut himself off and Gon knew he was busted. He glanced up at his boyfriend only to see him shaking his head in disbelief and this really made Gon flush pink with embarrassment.

"Don't tell me... are jealous? Of Palm?"

It was really embarrassing that Killua could read him so well especially in this situation. "I'm not!" He protested weakly.

"Oh come on, I can tell!" Killua sat down next to him and poked his shoulder with one finger. "We're just friends; you don't have to be jealous!"

"I know!" Gon whined, squirming slightly so he won't wake up Mr. Pants in his lap.

"Then why?" Killua poked him again, but he just shrugged, not knowing the answer himself. Killua let out a loud sigh. "Okay, I got to admit, she is special..." he trailed off, which made Gon glance up at his boyfriend. This time it was Killua who averted his eyes, a faint blush appearing on his face too. "I don't even know how we became friends, I mean, we hated each other for a long time..." he chuckled and shook his head, probably remembering something from long ago. "But she helped me to stand up and continue walking when things got really bad and I'm forever thankful for that," he stopped for a moment, taking a deep breath before continuing. "But that's it. We're only friends. Besides, she has a huge crush on her professor and we're not each other's types."

"Okay," Gon nodded slowly, thinking through what he heard. Killua never mentioned this before and judging by the storm of emotions that flashed in those striking blue eyes it was truly a difficult time in his life, but there was someone who helped him through it, and now Gon felt really dumb for being jealous. "Sorry, I just... I couldn't help it I guess..." he mumbled, awkwardly scratching his head.

"Geez, you're hopeless," Killua laughed and it was the most beautiful sound Gon heard the whole day. "So, what movie do you want to watch?"

"I leave it to you!" Gon offered and watched Killua stand up and stretch before getting his laptop.

This, just the two of them sitting in Killua's living room and watching something while munching on various snacks was worth everything and he wanted to make Killua believe this as well.

It was after they started watching the second movie that Gon started to feel a bit fuzzy from the beer he drank. He couldn't really focus on the TV, all he could perceive was the warmth coming from Killua, pulling him in, making him want to inch closer, take those fine hands, card his fingers through silky hair. And before the more responsible part of his brain could even form the thought of "I probably shouldn't" he reached out and grabbed Killua's hand. He could feel the other tense immediately, but like always, he relaxed shortly after and aligned their fingers properly.

He didn't know how much time went by like this, they watched the TV in silence, but Gon had a feeling that Killua wasn't paying attention either. Just holding hands wasn't enough anymore, he wanted to feel Killua's warmth against his own body, so he shifted and pulled Killua close with a single smooth movement. Before the white-haired young man could do or say anything his head was resting on Gon's chest and Gon's chin was on top of his head – he fit surprisingly well into Gon's arms, even though Killua was the taller one.

"Gon?" Killua's voice wasn't more than a small squeak, and it made Gon's heart beat faster, though he could feel Killua's go wild as well.

"Hmm," he just hummed in response, slowly dragging his hand down and drawing circles on Killua's back. He could feel Killua stiffen in his arms, not even daring to breathe so he stopped. "Is this okay? Should I stop?" As much as he wanted to pull the other even closer, he didn't want to make him uncomfortable.

"It's... okay," Killua mumbled after a short pause but it wasn't convincing at all.

"You sure?" Gon asked craning his neck so he could get a look at the other's face, but all he got as answer was silence again. Gon let out a loud exhale, the fuzziness from before was long gone. "Killua, you can tell me if I make you uncomfortable, it's okay!"

"That's not it!" Killua groaned, burying his head further into Gon's chest probably to hide whatever he was feeling.

"Then what is it?"

"It's stupid," Killua shook his head, his voice muffled.

"I want to know it!" Gon said immediately, but his boyfriend stayed silent again.

Gon let out another loud sigh. He grabbed Killua's shoulders and pushed him away so he could look into his face. Killua wasn't protesting; he just let himself get pushed back, his head lowered as if he was waiting for something horrible to happen and it made Gon's heart shrink. He let go of Killua's shoulders and cupped his face instead, gently lifting his head so he could get a better look. Killua's skin was incredibly soft and warm, but he couldn't let himself get distracted by that when Killua sat in front of him averting his eyes and looking like he was on the verge of crying.

"Please Killua! Tell me what's wrong!" He pleaded, feeling completely helpless.

Killua shook his head after he let go, still not looking him in the eyes. "You didn't do anything bad, it's my fault..." he said with a quivering voice, and he looked so fragile that Gon wanted to hug him, to comfort him, but he didn't want to ruin the moment with his bold actions again. "I'm so stupid... I didn't have many relationships, but they all ended badly and it was always my fault. But this... This is too good to be real and I can't stop wondering... how long will this last?"

Gon inhaled sharply, he had no idea that Killua struggled with such thoughts and he felt like a failure for not noticing it.

"I'm sorry..." Killua mumbled before the tears he tried to hold back started rolling down his cheeks, and that was enough for Gon to stop holding back and pull his sobbing boyfriend into an embrace and this time Killua buried his face into his shoulders and grabbed onto his sweater.

"You are so silly Killua," Gon murmured into soft white hair. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" He chided his boyfriend gently.

"I didn't want you to think that I doubted you," the muffled answer was followed by a small hiccup.

Gon nuzzled his face into Killua's hair before pulling away slightly and used his sleeves to wipe the other's tears. "You don't have to struggle alone, you know? I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere. I can be quite stubborn, you know?" He finished with a bright smile, even though it hurt to know his assumptions were more or less right.

Killua just looked at him, fresh tears gathering in his eyes. Despite the tears and with only the light of the TV illuminating his form he was so incredibly gorgeous that this time it was Gon who had to ask himself if any of this was real. Killua was truly beautiful and not just on the outside and Gon loved him so much, there were no words for it. He wanted to protect this person, to reassure him, to show him how precious, how important he was, but he doubted he could say anything that could express his feeling well enough. Still, he had to do something; he couldn't bear the sight of this broken, self-doubting Killua, as beautiful as he was even like this. The solution came to him moments later, and maybe this wasn't the right time (or maybe exactly this was the right time) to do it, but he had to show Killua how much he loved him, so he leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his boyfriend's trembling lips.

"You are beautiful," Gon murmured against Killua's lips, when he pulled away just the slightest bit.

"What..." Killua started but was silenced by Gon kissing him again.

"I mean it," Gon said looking straight into his gorgeous blue eyes and cupped his face with

both hands, kissing him a third time. "I love you."

A/N: Okay, I know I always say this, but I'm truly sorry for taking so much time to update this fic! ;_; I'm really, really sorry! I don't have any excuses other than life and work kick my butt constantly, orz

As for this chapter, I think it's an important one, but I don't feel like I did it justice x( I didn't even want to write it like this, but I always have so many ideas when I sit down to write and then I only use a tiny fragment of them... Also, sorry if the end (the most important part of course) was OOC and corny... I don't know how to write romance T_T (But at least I like the parts with Mr. Pants) (also sorry for the typos and stuff, I reread the chapter several times, but I always miss a lot of them...)

Anyway, thank you for reading and sticking to this fic even though I fail at updating it ahaha. I hope it wasn't a big disappointment!