Chapter 6: Seeing Green
It took the troop of Dragon-Koopas another hour to scale the last few turns of the mountain, and the winds often made conversation impossible. Crystal was able to communicate the basics: her mother and her parents had lived in Westpole ever since they left southern Dark Land, but because of the locals' overprotective paranoia about King Morton's anti-Dragon-Koopa legacy, they had often been "protected" by any sort of officials that visited the city. When Brank Hammerko showed up, it was only a matter of time for him and Emerald to become mates, but he and the elder Lakipas had been killed in an avalanche shortly after Crystal was laid. Emerald was holed up her family's cave, alone, for months, since the egg would freeze if she left it or took it out of the meagre shelter the cave provided. Once Crystal hatched, Emerald was able to take the time to dig them out of their snowy prison and stagger to Westpole, where the townsfolk did everything they could to help the pair. That was when they truly vowed to protect the Dragon-Koopas: their survival was a Koopa-given miracle, and to let it go to waste would be blasphemy.
With a note of apology in her voice, Crystal explained that their current home had been dug so high in the mountainside because Emerald did not want to risk getting snowed-in again. "It's a long hike, but I agree with Mum – I wouldn't want to be trapped." Crystal shivered at the thought. "I'm kinda sensitive to the cold…"
"Then why didn't you come back south?" asked Bowselta, taking advantage of the rare lull in the wind to get some decent conversation in.
Crystal shrugged. "Well… it's nice here: the people are kind, and it's very peaceful. No offence, but we've heard lots of terrible things have happened in the south. I'd rather be a little chilly than be in the middle of a war…" Crystal then smiled good-naturedly. "I'd also miss the sunshine too much down in Dark Land!"
-xxx-
The Koopas reached the cave at around three in the afternoon, gratefully clustering into the outer chamber and shaking the snow out of their hair and off their scales. Emerald's snowmobile was pulled up alongside one of the walls, next to a disorganized pile of tools and spare parts; the other wall sported a few shelves stocked with frozen food reserves, including a few macabre racks of bloody meat. Once everyone was relatively free of snow, Crystal took a deep breath and pulled open the door leading inside.
"Um, Mum…?"
"It's about time!" snapped Emerald, though there was a playfulness belying the edge in her voice.
Bowselta, Bowser and the Koopalings silently followed Crystal into what looked like a living room. There was a fire crackling in a hearth surrounded by a couple chairs and a sagging couch to the left, with the right wall covered with shelves – but unlike the outside chamber, these were filled with books, pictures and nick-knacks instead of canned foods. A closed door directly across from them seemed to lead to the kitchen, where they could hear Emerald rummaging around. A second doorway, this one ajar, led into a darkened dining room.
"Um, you'll never guess wh-"
"You ran out of gas again, didn't you?" interrupted Emerald from the other room. "Honestly, I've told you a thousand times what a mess that makes of the fuel injectors. I swear, you're gonna be the one fixing the-" Emerald stopped cold as she pushed open the kitchen door and saw that her daughter wasn't alone. There was a moment of silence as the Dragon-Koopas took each other in. Emerald's eyes flashed between the Koopalings, Bowser and Bowselta, all of which got a good long look at their stunned host. She was slightly taller and curvier than Bowselta, with bright green scales and piercing yellow eyes. Her hair was similar in colour to Crystal's, though the green tipping the yellow was a slightly darker hue, and while her daughter's short locks hung all around her face like drapery, Emerald sported a devil-may-care mullet. The Koopalings had the distinct impression that if she had ears, they'd be pierced all the way around.
Emerald shook he head in disbelief, a grin spreading across her face as she locked eyes with Bowselta. "No way! No freakin' way!"
Bowselta nodded, also grinning. "Yes way!"
"I can't believe it!" Emerald rushed over to Bowselta, wrapping her in a bear hug. "Oh man! I haven't seen you in forever!"
"Yeah. It's been what? Forty years?"
"Almost," nodded Emerald, pulling back and looking Bowselta up and down at arm's length. "Heh, you're a bit taller than last time – and sexier too. Whoo-ee!"
"Yeah, growing up will do that too ya," chuckled Bowselta sheepishly, crossing her arms in front of her chest self-consciously.
Emerald smirked, releasing Bowselta and looking around at her family, soon settling her gaze on Bowser. "Oh no," she said, her eyes widening. "Don't tell me! You didn't- This isn't-"
"King Bowser Koopa?" The burly Koopa grinned. "Oh, but I am! And she did! And before you ask, yes, these are our kids – all eight of 'em."
Emerald rolled her eyes. "I told you not to tell me!" She turned to Bowselta. "And you! I thought you hated this guy's guts! What could possibly have possessed you to freakin' marry him and pop out eight of his bloody children?"
Bowselta shrugged. "Again, I grew up. I realized that it wasn't Bowser's fault that his father screwed my family over, and I realized it was wrong of my parents to tell me otherwise."
"They are a bit fanatical aren't they? What did they have to say about your change of heart?"
"Nothing. They died a couple months after you guys went north," said Bowselta frankly.
"Oh," said Emerald, her smile faltering. "I'm sorry to hear that."
"Yeah, well, these things happen. Crystal told me about what happened to your family…"
"Mmm," Emerald nodded thoughtfully and looked over at Crystal, who had taken the opportunity to slip off to the side and pull off her parka. She was wearing a thin sky blue dress that reached her knees, and matching pants that pooled around her feet, with only her painted purple toenails sticking out. Her fingernails were painted red, and combined with the natural colours of her scales, hair, eyes and shell (which the Koopas now saw was yellow), she had every colour of the rainbow covered. Emerald, whose shell was lime green, was much more duo-chromatic, having forgone makeup, jewelry and clothes long ago. She and Crystal did share one more thing in common, though: their front fangs protruded from between their closed, pale burgundy lips.
Catching her daughter's eye, Emerald grinned. "That reminds me – sorry for assuming you ran out of gas. I didn't even consider that you might've been late because you were bringing guests."
Crystal looked at the floor and blushed. "Actually, I did run out of gas – they caught up to me at the Mailbox."
Emerald blinked, before laughing. "That's my girl! But I'm still proud of you for showing them the way up – instead of running for dear life like when that Census Star came calling last December. That was hilarious!"
Crystal's face was even more flushed now, the copper in the dragon blood beneath the surface turning her cheeks dark as she stammered out the rest of her confession. "Well, actually… I did, sorta… run away… They caught up to me. Well, he did-" Crystal nodded her head at Lemmy, who raised a hand to help Emerald identify who her daughter was singling out. "-and I sorta rammed him but then he caught me before I could go much further." Crystal looked over her shoulder at Roy, who was hanging back by the door, before turning to her mother. "But then Bowselta explained who they were, and everything was fine from then on…" Crystal smiled weekly.
Emerald shook her head in bemused disbelief. "You're one crazy kid." She then started walked towards Lemmy. "So she nailed you, huh? With what, her horns? Shell?"
"Shell," said Lemmy. "But it's okay – us Koopalings play rough and I've been impaled plenty of times. We heal quickly and it doesn't hurt at-" Lemmy was cut off as Emerald jabbed her finger into one of the faintly discolored blotches on his belly, causing him to wince painfully.
"'Doesn't hurt at all', eh? I'll give you this, Bowselta, your kids are no sissies." She grabbed Lemmy by the wrist. "But why suffer when you can be healed? Come on, I've got stuff to stop the bruising."
"Huh?" Lemmy leaned against Emerald's pull, his own face flushing: his siblings would never let him live it down if he consented to this special treatment. "No, really, I'm fine."
"Don't be silly, you'll regret turning me down in the morning when you've got three rows of ugly bruising down your belly. It's better to get it early." Emerald wasn't as built as Bowselta, but she was still strong, and managed to yank poor, willowy Lemmy forward.
Bowselta laughed. "There's no arguing with Emerald, Lemmy, just go with it."
"But I-"
"Listen to your mother," chided Emerald, wrapping her other hand around Lemmy's snout to keep him from protesting further as she hauled him out of the room. The Koopalings sniggered.
Crystal was blushing again. "Mum's really into medicine."
"She always was," smiled Bowselta. "She hasn't changed a bit…"
"Oh…" Bowselta expected Crystal to go on, but at a loss for anything interesting to say, girl had fallen into silence.
After an awkward pause, Bowser spoke up. "So, shall we?" He indicated towards the kitchen door, which had swung closed behind Lemmy and Emerald.
"The kitchen's not big enough for everyone," warned Crystal.
"We can stay out here," said Iggy. "You go and catch up with your friend, and we'll get to know Crystal out here." He shot the younger girl a toothy grin, which she shyly returned, looking around at the assembled Dragon-Koopas.
"Sounds good to me," said Bowser, walking over to the kitchen door with Bowselta at his side.
Ludwig looked from the kitchen to his siblings. "Um, I sink I'll go vit zem for now. It looks like you'll have enough Koopalings on your hands visout Lemmy and I for now. Okay?"
Crystal shrugged. She was quiet by nature, but after growing up with nothing but Shy Guys for friends, most of which were a few years older than her, she was eager to finally make connections with kids her own age. The fact that they were her own species made it even more exciting, and while she was nervous to say the least, she could tell that the Koopalings were just as eager to make friends with her. Even if she kept running out of interesting things to say, she had a feeling they'd be more than willing to pick up the slack and do all the talking themselves. Despite her penchant for jumping to conclusions about anonymous strangers following her through blizzards, she was actually pretty good at reading people once she got to see them up close, and as soon as Morton started talking, she knew this was no exception.
-x-
The sight that greeted Bowser, Bowselta and Ludwig in the kitchen was a surprise. Lemmy was sitting wide-eyed on a bench with his back wedged against the wall and the cupboard bookending the seat. Beside him perched Emerald, who was holding up the foot nearest to her in rapt attention, moving his toes around so that she could watch the tendons roll over the mutated bones.
Bowser cleared his throat. "Are we interrupting something?"
Emerald looked up from Lemmy's foot to her audience. She returned her gaze to the Koopaling, sizing him up before smiling lasciviously. "It depends – you age of consent yet?"
Lemmy's eyes bugged out of his head as he shook his head in terror. "N-no!"
Emerald sighed. "Then I guess not." She let Lemmy wrench his foot free of her grasp and reached over to pick up a jar of purple goo sitting beside her on the bench. She unscrewed the lid and held it out for the Koopaling, only to grab his wrist once more as he reached forward. "But when you do turn twenty – call me." She winked.
Lemmy stared at her. "…Mom, your friend scares me."
Emerald released the poor Koopaling and laughed as she stood up. "I'm kidding! I'm kidding! I've always wanted to see a case of Lillyfoot, that's all." She looked from Bowselta, Bowser and Ludwig back to Lemmy, who was slapping on the purple goo as fast as he could. "Make sure to rub it in, don't just paste it on – don't make me do it for you!" The medic's warning was meant as a joke, however she then turned to Bowselta, a devious look in her yes. "Although… come to think of it, wouldn't that have been your plan all along?"
Bowselta raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
Emerald grinned. "Come on – like it isn't obvious! You didn't come all this way just to say 'hi' – you had ulterior motives. Admit it!"
"I did want to see you again. I have for a while, but until recently I thought you had died in the avalanche too," explained Bowselta.
Bowser nodded. "All the other Dragon-Koopas my father evicted were killed decades ago. We thought it was just us for the longest time – it was a real bummer."
Emerald nodded knowingly as she walked over and sat down in a chair next to Lemmy's bench. "Uh huh, and then you discovered there were more of us. The same thing happened to my family: my parents thought we'd be all alone up here forever, but then Brank showed up. Oh, my parents didn't dare say what was on their minds, but they were thrilled with the thought that their little girl was gonna have a mate and children after all." Emerald leered at Bowselta. "There was no way you could have known I'd have a teenage daughter, ergo, you were effectively giving me the run of your litter."
Bowselta shook her head hastily. "The thought didn't even cross my-"
"Pshh, don't lie." A new idea then occurred to Emerald. "Unless… You were gonna share Bowser…"
All the Koopas stared at Emerald; her outspokenly dirty-mindedness could make Kammy blush.
Ludwig chuckled weakly. "I'm starting agree vit Lemmy: you are a bit scary."
"What are you talking about? She's awesome!" declared Bowser as Emerald laughed. However, Bowser's own amusement was cut short when he caught sight of his wife's face. "Uh, but I would never take her up on that horrible, indecent offer she just made."
"Yes, because it would be the last thing either of you did," growled Bowselta, the edges of her mouth twisting into a wry smirk.
Emerald nodded, still grinning. "Then it's settled: you'd keep Bowser, and I'd get your kiddies. Though I guess I'll have to share them with Crystal now, amirite?"
Lemmy sprang to his feet. "Well, as fun as this conversation has been, I am done my treatment, and will be going now, thank you." He hastily crammed the top of the jar back on the potion and scuttled from the room.
"I sink I'll go too…" added Ludwig, sliding out from between his parents.
-x-
In the living room, most of the other Koopalings were gathered around Crystal by the fireplace. Junior was skulking around the bookshelves and Roy was sitting next to the door, ignoring everyone else.
Crystal was proud of how well she handled the Koopaling's rapt attention, and she even managed to memorize their names… mostly. It was still a little overwhelming, and while the small brown one (Morton, she reminded herself, or is it Larry?) always jumped in when she faltered, the others seemed more interested in hearing her story than their own. The only problem was that her story wasn't very interesting. There were no boys (as Wendy had inquired); there was never any exciting discoveries (as Iggy had hoped); there was nothing. It was just Crystal and her mother living on the side of a mountain. While Emerald liked cooking and making medical concoctions to help the sick and injured townsfolk, Crystal had no real hobbies. Her only goal in life was to make friends and be nice; she mentioned the fact that she'd like to travel and be a peacemaker in the south sometime, but neglected to mention the fact that she was deathly afraid of war. That was one thing she shared with her mother: they both hated to see people suffer.
It was obvious the Koopalings weren't so sensitive. When Lemmy walked up to the group, they turned on him with a collective sneer. As much as they enjoyed Crystal's attempts to make Westpole sound interesting, it was clear that they had been waiting for Lemmy to return – all the while planning on how to tear him to shreds.
"Awww, all better, are we?" snickered Wendy.
"Was it that serious?" said Iggy in mock-concern.
"What kind of medicine did she use? I don't see anything on you – oh wait, it looks like there's something… Is that purple? That's weird, cuz the Medikoopas back home use purple stuff for burn heals. They use green oily stuff for bruises. I think it's made of Turtley Leaves and-"
"Shut up and let him speak," said Wendy.
"She was overreacting, I'm fine," said Lemmy, trying hard not to think back to the kitchen conversation.
"You're blushing?" Iggy raised an eyebrow behind his goggles. "What'd she do?"
"Nothing," insisted Lemmy. Technically, it wasn't a lie – she didn't exactly do anything to him…
"Then why are you blushing?" grinned Wendy.
"What was the purple stuff made of? Did it smell? Is it meant for absorption between the scales too? Maybe they use different leaves here, but it's probably the same-"
"They have Turtley Plants here," murmured Larry. He looked towards Crystal as if to ask for her confirmation, but she had taken the chance to slip away from the group and talk with the other Koopalings.
Or rather, talk to just one other Koopaling.
"So… your name's Roy?"
Roy looked up as Crystal hovered nearby, peering through her hair at Roy with those watery orange eyes, as if she were afraid he might bite.
"Yep, dat's me," grunted Roy, looking back towards the kitchen door.
Crystal distractedly followed his gaze, but snapped her eyes back to his face, smiling nervously. "I always thought it was a little strange… you know, for a name. It's so short, you'd think it was a, well, a short form of a longer name. Heh, but it's not…"
"Nope," said Roy.
Silence fell between the two once more, The other Koopalings were being quite vocal about whatever had happened to Lemmy in the kitchen, but Crystal blocked it out as she suddenly realized that her comment could be taken badly. Roy was obviously not the sensitive type, but she didn't want him to get the wrong idea: "Oh, but, it's not a bad name, or anything! I mean, short names are cool, right?"
Roy shrugged. "A name's a name."
"Oh, yeah! That's what I meant," Crystal winced, rubbing her arm unconsciously as she scolded herself for ever starting such a stupid conversation. Now he's gonna think I'm a total idiot… I've gotta think of something else to talk about – something that's not stupid or boring or offensive or name-based… Crystal cleared her throat. "Um, well, I actually came here to thank you. Um, for dragging my snowmobile up the mountain…"
"D'was nuttin'," Roy shrugged. "I've pulled heavia 'tings around back home. And dat's widout da snow, so it's got more o' dat friction goin' on."
"Mmm, physics," nodded Crystal.
"Wut?"
Realizing Roy wasn't an intellectual (not that she was either – she barely understood her homeschool physics studies herself, and the subjects Emerald covered were rudimentary at best), Crystal quickly changed subjects. "I mean – so you like pulling things around?"
"I don't really care. I'm strong, so people have me pull 'tings for 'em." Roy shrugged once more. "It's da way 'tings work."
"So what do you wanna do?" Crystal smiled, clasping her hands behind her back. Finally, an angle to build on that's NOT totally retarded!
"I'm gonna be da Captain o' da Guard."
"Military?" Crystal's eyes widened in despair as her hands limply fell back to her sides.
"Yep. I already help our current Chief of Homeland Security around da castle, and everyone agrees I'll make a great military head." Roy grinned, leaning forwards in his chair. "I've been payin' a lotta attention to how 'tings are run. I know what's been goin' wrong, and I'm gonna fix 'em. We ain't gonna lose no more when I'm in charge."
Crystal forced a smile. "Sounds impressive. I- I'm sure you'll be great."
"Oh, he will!" Morton appeared at Crystal's elbow. "Getting' ta know Roy, are ya? Well, you're right in that you have to come to him if you wanna talk! Ain't that right, Roy?"
Roy grunted in the affirmative as the other Koopalings clustered around Crystal once more. The older Koopaling with fluffy blue hair (who's name Crystal hadn't caught) had finally come to Lemmy's rescue and broken up the little sibling squabble about whatever happened in the kitchen, forcing them to return to Crystal for their continued entertainment.
"Roy's not much of a conversationalist," explained Wendy as she wheeled her new friend back to the warmth of the fire.
"Yeah, you won't get much more outta him," added Iggy.
"You might have more luck with Bowser Junior, though," suggested Morton, before turning and calling to his youngest brother. "Hey, BJ!"
"Whatever you want, the answer's 'no', I'm busy!"
"Aw, come on-"
Crystal didn't mind if BJ – or Junior, or whatever his name was – didn't want to talk to her. She wished Roy would, though. In spite of herself, she found him fascinating. The fact that he was involved in the military should repel her, but she found herself justifying it in her head. He wanted to fix the military – and faster victories meant less casualties, so it was a good thing, right?
-x-
After the door had swing closed behind Ludwig and Lemmy, Emerald grinned. "Cute kids."
"You're gonna give them nightmares if you keep this up," joked Bowselta.
Emerald shrugged. "Can you blame me? I've been settling for Clubbas for the past seventeen years and out of the blue you drop a gaggle of foxy teenage Dragon-Koopas into my lap! It's not a nightmare, it's a dream come true!"
"Well, I'll warn you now: Lemmy's got Koopfelter's Syndrome – he's barren."
"No kiddin'? I was wondering what else he had going on with him: the Lilyfoot only explains, well, the mutant feet… Anyway, it doesn't matter to me either way, I'm not hoping to make any babies with your babies, honey – the process work's all I'm interested in."
There was another pregnant pause, once again, broken by Bowser. "For the record, I didn't come here to play matchmaker."
"Neither did I," insisted Bowselta.
"Liar," said Emerald.
"So, tell us about Brank," said Bowselta, changing subjects.
Emerald grinned, stretching in her chair with a groan. "Oh, Brank – where to start? Well, like I said before, he showed up out of the blue. He'd been wandering around the northern reaches of Dark Land and Easton for years, staying under the radar since he heard the other Dragon-Koopas had run afoul of old King Moron. Er, no offence."
Bowser shrugged. "I'm no fan of my father – don't sweat it."
Emerald smiled at Bowser's good taste, and then continued. "Anyway, I was twenty-six and he was forty, so you can see that I never had quibbles with age-differences when it comes to lovers – and man was Brank a lover! Who-ee, that man knew how to please a lady! We were going at it like rabbits within months of laying eyes on each-other – he initiated everything, by the way – and it was golden!"
Emerald's eyes glazed over, but she soon shook herself back into the present. "We kept it on the downlo for a while, y'know, waiting until my folks were out, doing it out in the snow when no one was around – that sorta thing. But eventually Mom and Dad walked in on us… As I told you before, it's what they were hoping for, so they were relatively cool with it. I still felt a bit bad, though, since they sorta caught us doing it in their bed…" Emerald cleared her throat sheepishly. "We did it worse places around the cave, believe you-me, but it was a while before I could look 'em in the eye after that."
"I see you've done something about that bashfulness since then," observed Bowselta wryly.
"Honesty is the best policy. I figure it'd be worse for our relationship if I started kanoodling with your kids without you knowing and then have you find out about it the hard way…" Emerald's eyes glinted mischievously. "Anyway, after that, I figured Brank and I should at least have something to show for all our… hard work. No one really signs those formal marriage documents up here – the only proof of commitment anyone really needs are kids, like in the olden days. So, we started trying to get pregnant. It took us a couple years, actually; the cold probably had something to do with it, since the Clubbas say they've always had problems with losing eggs too… Anyway, when Crystal's egg looked like it was gonna make it, we decided to be extra careful. I brooded it myself and everything – like a freaking Chicken!" Emerald smiled sadly. "I'm sure Crystal told you the rest: my parents got lost in a storm one night; Brank went after them while I minded the egg and well, I never saw any of the again."
"I know that feeling," said Bowser.
"We all do," nodded Bowselta, before launching into her and Bowser's story.