Like Anastasia had predicted, the next morning, Nikki didn't remember a single thing of what had happened that night. However, it was clear that she was exhausted, and felt horrible. She visited her sisters room, to talk to her in private. "It happened again, didn't it?" She asked quietly. Anastasia didn't say anything but pulled her sister into a sweet and warm hug, before pulling her onto the couch beside her. "Did I wake anyone?" She asked carefully. Anastasia looked her in the eye. "A couple of people. Fitz, Simmons, Leah and Daisy." Nikki looked down at the ground, pulled up her knees and put her hands in her hair. "Shit…" She said quietly. "They weren't supposed to know about that. Not yet anyway…" She looked back up.
"How much did you tell them?"
"Everything. At least, everything I could tell them, and felt like they should know. But don't worry, they took it very well. Now they're just worried about you. They really care for you, you know?"
But Nikki stayed silent.
"You should talk to them. They're not going to judge you, and they're not going to throw you out. Not everyone is like mum and dad, these are good people."
"But what do I tell them?"
"The truth."
Later that day, after Anastasia had passed on the message to everyone that Nikki had wanted to see them, they were all sitting in Nikki's room, talking. In a way, it was a strange situation. Nikki had always been the one who lend an ear to whomever wanted to get something off their chest, and she never asked for anything in return. But now, she was the one doing the talking, and she wasn't holding anything back. She retold the story that her sister had told them last night, though from her perspective. Yet since she couldn't remember the night that she had almost killed her sister, her story was slightly different. But that wasn't the point of this talk anyway. She just needed to take a leap of faith and trust her new friends. She had always kept her vulnerabilities in the dark, but now it was time to show them, and to accept them.
"Sometimes I'm just afraid that I'm going to end up just like them, you know?" She said softly.
"Why?" Daisy asked. "You are nothing like that! Why would you even think that?"
"Because I've been damaged… That's something that can't be undone. Some scars cannot heal, and maybe they'll corrupt me one day."
Leah moved over and sat down next to her, pulling her into a hug.
"Yeah, sure. You're damaged. You're not perfect. And to be honest, sometimes you really drive me crazy-"
"Leah!" Simmons shouted, but Leah continued.
"But that goes for everyone here. Nikki, please don't ever forget: you're the manure from which pretty flowers grow. They are just a piece of shit."
It was the strangest compliment that she had ever heard, but that was exactly why it worked, and Nikki started to giggle.
"Thanks, Leah."
"Anytime."
After everyone had left, Nikki headed back to her sisters' room, only to find it empty. Literally empty. The sheets had been taken of the bed, and all personal belongings had gone. Nikki rushed out of the room, and ran through the base, only to find Ana in Coulson's office. She burst into the room, cutting Coulson off mid-sentence. "Ana?" She asked, confused. Then she noticed the packed bags standing on the floor. "You're leaving?" She added softly. Anastasia walked over to her, and took her hand, not sure of what to say. "We decided that it might be best if I don't stay here permanently…" She said quietly. Coulson interrupted. "She told me about the past you two have. I'm sorry Nicole, but if you want to be an asset to this team, I need you sharp, and apparently, this is a problem." He had said it very kindly, to make sure that it was clear to Nikki that this was indeed the best solution. Anastasia continued. "Nick… this is your world, not mine. You may have always felt like you were in my shadow, but now, I'm in yours. You are far more valuable to these people than I am. It's time that I find my own place. My own home…"
Nikki burst into tears. "But Ana, I love you. You're all that I have left. Don't leave me, please…"
"I know Nikki, but we both know that if I stay, I would only be holding you back. You can do extraordinary things, but the only way to move forward is to let go of the things that are holding you back. You need to set yourself free. As long as I am here, you can't do that. I love you so much Nikki, and that's exactly why I am giving you your best shot here..."
"But where will you go?" Nikki asked through her tears.
Anastasia pulled herself back together and put on a brave and determined face.
"I am 18 and have a PhD in microbiology. Agent Simmons has pulled some strings and got me into contact with some other biologists. They offered me a job, starting tomorrow. They already payed me some part in advance so I could rent an apartment there. Don't worry about me, Nick. I'll be fine."
"Can I at least visit?" Nikki asked.
Ana pulled her into a big hug.
"I will be looking forward to those days with all my heart."
At the end of the day, she was gone. Nikki had cried, and screamed at first, but eventually accepted it to be the best solution. And Anastasia promised that she would call as soon as she was settled in. And Nikki would be looking forward to the day that she could finally see her again.