Previously on Twisted Fates: Minato appears and takes Shrek away from an unfulfilling life. Fiona lets him follow his heart despite losing hers. Also did I mention that Minato was from the past and another universe and the action of removing Shrek from said timeline actually deconstructed the rest of that reality and therefore Fiona actually ceased to exist and also it was written in first-person pov so actually it's kinda like you were the one who loved Shrek and died so it's kinda like you're a ghost right now? Anyway here's the continuation of my Shrek x Naruto fanfic. :^)

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Chapter 6: Testing Day Phase Three: The Forest of Dicks

With a flash of light, Shrek and Minato emerged from the time portal. Minato landed in a graceful three-point landing like Iron Man did in the movies Iron Man, Iron Man 2, The Avengers, and I think Iron Man 3. Shrek fell on his butt and bounced up like ten feet, as all ogre butts are of similar material to rubber. Ogre twerking has led to serious injuries.

"Yo, homes, where the fuck we at?" Shrek inquired.

"The Forest of Death, some year," Minato answered with authority.

"Sounds like my crotch after I haven't shaved in a while, winky face."

"Why did you just say winky face?"

"SO THE FOREST OF DEATH YOU SAY?"

"Yes, my name is Minato, Minato Uzumaki. I come from another dimension, much like you. We are here because something has been disrupting the flow of time in this reality. Also I'm part of the time police and have time travel jutsu."

"Jutsu? What are you talking about? Is that a magical creature of some sort, because those are things present in the reality from which I came and have no accurate comparison in this universe?"

"Jutsu are the sacred art of the ninja. It is through utilizing our chakra that—"

"So it's magic; got it."

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!" Minato grrrrrrrrred. He placed his ninja hand on his face. "Listen, I brought you, because you are the only other Shrek in all of reality. It's up to you to save yourself."

"Another meme? I mean me? And I'm the only one who can save myself?"

"Yes that's exactly what I just said. I don't know why you felt the need to repeat it."

"Exactly what you just said? And I feel the need—"

"Shut the up fuck! Let's go!"

Minato stealthily ran through the ninja bushes. Shrek clumsily bumbled after him. After all, this Shrek wasn't trained in the way of the ninja. He was trained in the way of I think he became a king? Anyway he wasn't a ninja.

"Stop!" Minato whispered throwing his hand out. Shrek was still a good three hundred feet away and it took him a minute or two to catch up. "Right there."

Team 7 was happily walking through the Forest of Death. "Boy, I sure am glad we aren't being attacked right now!" Suddenly, they were attacked.

A weird snake guy appeared. "I am Orochimaru! I have come to bite Sasuke Uchiha on the neck and give him super powers because I think it'll lead him to me and give me more power but he ends up beating me!"

"Oreochimichanga?!" Naruto shouted.

"Looks like we'll just have to put the Shrek SuperSlam for PlayStation 2, Xbox, Nintendo GameCube, Nintendo DS, Microsoft Windows, and Game Boy Advance down on him!" Shrek tensed his muscles and penis.

"I don't care!" Sakura said skipping off into the bushes.

"The power to kill Itachi?" Sasuke said angrily with those cool lines that they put like nears the eyes and nose bridge in anime.

"I haven't said anything about that but yes the power to kill your only brother!" Orochimaru laughed and started choking on some spit in his throat but played it off pretty smooth.

"Damn, look at how smooth that was," Minato said tightening his fist. "I could barely even tell that he just choked on his own spit."

"Choked on—" Shrek was in disbelief. He couldn't tell at all. Was this the face of true power?

"Now if you'll stand still," Orochimaru said with a smirk, "I'll give you this power and the viewers some weird fetishes." He darted toward them.

"Not on my watch!" Shrek ran up and picked up his watch on the ground next to Sasuke.

"Bring it, fucker!" Sasuke tore off the sleeves on his shirt to look stronger. Orochimaru hesitated.

"Did he just become stronger?!" he said out loud for some reason.

Sasuke smirked. "You don't know anything about my power. THROWING A BUNCH OF KUNAI NO JUTSU!" Sasuke threw like twenty ninja knives at Orochimaru.

"Holy shit!" Narut shouted.

"The ultimate technique in throwing sharp ninja objects!" Minato shouted in disbelief.

"Imagine how many onions you could cut with those!" both Shrek and other Shrek remarked at the same time.

"Curses! How did they know that I have skin?!" Orochimaru leaped out of the way as like I don't know fifty kunai came raining down. "How much money does this kid have," Orochimaru grimaced. "I mean even at like what $2.50 a kunai that's still like over a hundred dollars? That's so much money? That's over ten tens! Incredible. These ninjas are truly to be feared."

Sasuke smirked and walked forward with his arms out. "Well? What is it?"

"How dare you insult me! Me! Orchimaru! The evil snake guy! Orochimaru formerly of the Hidden Leaf!"

Shrek let out a guttural laugh. "You can't stop the Team 7 train, solid snake!"

Orochimaru was at a loss. How could he defeat someone with over a hundred dollars? He fervently grabbed his snake dick, hoping it would help somehow. Suddenly a figure appeared behind him.

"Who is that?!" Naruto shouted.

The figure laughed. "It is I, Freeza! I have come here to give Orochimaru a lot of power!"

Everyone's faces appeared one at a time in triangles on the screen to show their reactions. "Freeza!" Minato shouted. "Of course, it all adds up somehow in such a way that I don't feel the need to explain any further!"

"Now let me use my special powers to you into a super saiyan!" Freeza shouted for five episodes as light emerged from his hands. Orochimaru laughed.

"Now it's time to see my true potential!" Orochimaru shouted and began to glow for ten episodes. When he had finished, his once black hair was now golden and stood like six feet up in the air. Shrek would have laughed at this, were he not in fear.

"His power… it's making my ogrehood pulse just being near it." Shrek puched his dick.

"There's no way…" Sasuke looked on in fear. "I'd need at least $250, no, $500 to fight him!"

"Friends…" Naruto shouted, "I don't know if I can stop him. I don't know if I have the power. But, I know I have to try! As long as we're together, standing hand-on-dick, nothing is—" Naruto was hit by one of Orochimaru's energy blasts.

"Fuck!" Shrek said in a calm manner.

"This is the moment we have to stop!" Minato said to Shrek. "I can distract Frozone; you'll have to stop Orochimaru!"

"Stop him?! I don't even know him! I mean, I don't know how to fight!"

"Trust yourself, Shrek. Though you may not have the strength of a dragon, you still have the strength of a dragon inside."

"What."

"Team up with the other Shrek. Take him down. HYAAAAAAAAAAA!" Minato ran out in the open toward Freeza instead of teleporting behind him and killing him easily because that's his main ability?

"What?! Minato?! What are you doing in this timeline right now with me?!" Freeza was shocked by a joy buzzer Minato had in his hand when he punched him. "Giddy up, motherfuck!"

As the two time warriors began a fierce battle, Sasuke and Shrek stood in disbelief. How could they fight someone like super saiyan Orochimaru?

"If I don't help now, it'll all be ogre!" Shrek looked out at the remains of Team 7. "I wonder what donkeh would say right now.

"SHREK!" donkeh's voice echoed in his mind. "I'M MAKIN WAFFLES!" Of course! Shrek ran out into the field. "Orochimaru!"

Orochimaru turned his head. "Wh-what?! Two Shreks?! But I see a Shrek right over there! And there's another one?! Two Shreks?! One plus one is two?!" Orochimaru had to take a second to catch his breath. "I can't believe it… two… that's two ones… there's not one Shrek… but two… how can there be two when I just saw one… twice the Shreks… how is this happening… one… one… two… something doesn't add up here… how can there be two Shreks… that's one Shrek plus one Shrek… how is it—"

As Orochimaru was struggling with the basics of addition, Shrek ran toward the others. "Wh-what?! Another me?! Two Shreks?! I just—" Shrek cut Shrek off.

"I'm from another dimension! We need to take down super saiyan Orochimaru for some reason!"

"But how?" Sasuke said in shock. "All those kunai… less than $150…"

"Shut up, nerd!" Shrek punched Sasuke in the face. "We need a plan with layers."

"Layers?" Shrek said. "Onions have layers!"

"OGRES HAVE LAYERS!" they shouted in unison.

"But we still need—"

"Hey guys turns out I'm okay! What did I—" Naruto looked at the two Shreks standing next to each other. Silence fell across the Forest of Death. The leaves on the ground began to swirl around Naruto. "Wh-what?! Two Shreks?! My—" A sudden explosion of light came from Naruto. He was turning super saiyan! His penis began to grow in length, standing straight up. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Naruto shouted as he powered up.

"What's going on?!" Shrek shouted.

"Two Shreks! He's super saiyan aroused!" Shrek said in disbelief.

When he had finished powering up. He looked at the Shreks. "I'll be back for you two in a second." Their ogrehoods stiffened. Naruto flew toward super saiyan Orochimaru. "HEY MOTHERFUCKER GET THE HELL OUT OF MY Forest of Death!" Orochimaru's jaw dropped. Super saiyan Naruto must have at least $700! But how! That's like a month's rent at some places!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Naruto punch Orochimaru for like fifteen episodes. He collapsed on the ground, as did his hair. "H-how is this possible…" he coughed as some blood came out. "T-two Shreks… not one… two…" He lay silent on the ground.

Naruto flew back to the Shreks. "Alright, let's do this." The Shreks also somehow went super siayan and a threesome the likes of which any universe has never seen began. Sasuke, whom originally had been petrified by the evil Orochimaru was now given something new to fear. Ejaculations shot through the Forest of Death, knocking down multiple trees at a time. The grunting was heard miles away.

Minato and Freeza stopped their fight and watched the spectacle. "Shit, dude. I'm out." Freeza said as he teleported away. Minato laughed. "That's my son!"

After several days, the trio finally powered down in the remains of the Forest of Death. "Nice!" They all high-fived each other. "I wonder what Fiona will—Fiona!" Shrek looked around for Minato. "Minato!"

"What." Minato appeared in a flash of light.

"I need to go back to the island! I mean Fiona! My reality!"

"Shrek, this was a one way trip. There's no way of knowing if your universe is ever around anymore."

"But there's a chance?"

"Hmm, I suppose it's possible that the world may reassemble when you are introduced back to it, but I thought you were looking for a different life? Why return?"

"Because, my true power has been awakened. I know what I must prevent."

"Prevent? Wait you don't mean—"

"Shrek the Third." The name sent shivers down Minato's spine.

"There's no way! That's one of the greatest tragedies in all of time and space! You can't stop it."

"I can try." Shrek smirked.

"Okay," Minato opened up a portal. "There you go."

"Cool." Shrek turned to Shrek and Naruto. "Goodbye! I had fun with the sex!"

"Yea, me too!" Shrek said.

"Believe it!" Naruto shouted. Everyone laughed.

"Okay, bye! I have my own adventure to go on now. Giddy up!" Shrek leaped through the portal, never to be heard from again because I'm never going to watch Shrek the Third.

"I also have to go back to the time planet to do stuff okay bye. Also I'm your dad, Naruto." Minato disappeared.

"That's fucked up," Naruto shouted.

"I want you to fuck me up winky face," Shrek said. Naruto stiffened.

Orochimaru woke up and saw the three standing there. "Wait why was I trying to kill them? I just wanted to bite Sasuke on the neck." Orochimaru bit the still petrified Sasuke on the neck and slithered away.

"Haha, whoops!" Shrek said.

"Oh well," said Sasuke. "I'm more worried about my sanity after the past couple days."

"Believe it!" Naruto shouted.

Sasukra skipped back into the story. "Hey gys! Wow, you really fucked this placed up. I was busy fighting the ten-tailed beast but he was really easy so I got bored and ate some pizza!"

"I fucked myself!" Shrek said

"Believe it!" Naruto shouted. Everyone laughed.

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Only the hottest time travel orgies here on Twisted Fates! Tune in next time for some dank memes and idk what happens next so I'll probably go look at the wiki or something. Wait I mean everything is planned out! Meme on!