Hi all. I just want to thank all of you who have had some really encouraging things to say. You have no idea what it means to me to hear that. This is only the second story I've shared and it's still a bit new and scary to me. I appreciate a bit of constructive criticism too as it makes me consider things I hadn't before. So, again, big thanks to everyone who has taken the time to drop me a line.

I don't own Twilight still, just my mistakes.

Chapter 7

EPOV

Bella was drunk.

Not just tipsy or on her way to drunk. No, she was three sheets to the wind, shitfaced, hammered, completely plastered and though I tried to take it easy, I was a little tipsy myself. When she'd gotten a little heavy-handed with the tequila earlier I knew she had hoped it would help her forget about James.

It hadn't.

What it did do was make her angry and suddenly everything she'd ever been mad at James for was out in the open. There was nothing I could do but listen amusedly as recounted his every fault.

"D'ja know he doesn't even know how t' do laundry?" she asked me in disbelief. "Seriously, he's no idea. Before me, his mom did it for him. He's fucking thirty!"

I didn't say anything but I did my best to suppress my laughter. I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy hearing these things about him. I wasn't perfect but at least I can do my own damn laundry.

"God, he was such a mama's boy!" she continued. "I dunno why I even 'greed to marry him. Was more like adopting a kid than marrying a man. Couldn't do nuthin for himself and certainly couldn't be bothered to do much for me. Man wouldn even go down on me."

I couldn't help but spit margarita across the room before mumbling an apology and mopping up the mess with the leftover napkins from dinner. Of all the complaints I expected to hear, I'd never expected to hear one quite that personal.

"Don't ever let me marry someone who won't go down! Selfish fuck."

I couldn't argue with that. What kind of man doesn't want to pleasure his woman? Especially when that woman is as beautiful as she was. Given the chance, I would worship at her shrine every single day but I couldn't tell her that. I didn't know what to say but I knew I was not going to discuss her sex life with that motherfucker. "Bella," I groaned, hoping she would sense my discomfort and change the subject.

"I'm serious! D'ja know how hard it is to cum from just sex? With no extra help or nuthin? It's really fucking hard!"

"B, please!" I moaned. I couldn't talk to her like this. We'd talked about sex plenty in the past but everything was different now and hearing that kind of talk from her sweet, perfect lips nearly caused my brain to explode, not to mention the swelling in my pants.

Her eyes widened in surprise at my obvious embarrassment. "What? Didn think you was a prude, E. Specially after talkin to Tan bout ya."

"What?" I cried. "You talked to Tanya about sex?" This was a new revelation. I knew they were friendly but I'd never thought they were that close.

"Course," she laughed. I was suddenly very, very worried. "Relax, would ya. She had nuttin but nice things to say. Real nice! Matter a fact, she said you were the best she ever had. So, cheers to you, sir."

She held out her glass but I couldn't muster the strength to lift my own and left her hanging.

"Whatsa matter? Touchy subject? Has it been a while?"

"No, yes, Bella, it's just…, fuck, never mind. Can we talk about something else?"

"Fine," she sighed, laying back on the couch and propping her feet in my lap. "If you rub my feet like you use ta we can talk 'bout whatever you want."

She didn't even need to ask. Instinctively I'd already pulled her foot into my hands and began kneading the pad of her tiny foot.

"Shit tha's good," she moaned and I nearly lost it again. Maybe this was also a bad idea. "Forgot how good you are at that."

"Well, you're drunk. Everything feels good when you're drunk," I laughed nervously, hoping she wouldn't pick up on my unease.

"No, seriously. Keep it up an' I'll marry you myself just for the foot massages." My fingers froze for a second and my entire body stiffened but I didn't say a word. What could I possible say to that? "Jesus, relax. I just teasing. Sheesh, Edward, I didn know the idea of being married to me was soooo unpleasant. I'm hurt. No one want's ta marry Bella."

"Bella, that's not…" I mumbled. The idea was quite the opposite of unpleasant but I couldn't tell her that. Not right now anyway.

She laughed, cutting me off and pulled her feet from my lap and sat up tucking them back underneath herself

"Oh God! I'm fuckin with you. When you lose your sense of humor?"

"I'm sorry, maybe I'm just drunk," I mumbled.

"Bullshit!" she cried, seeing through my flimsy excuse. "You been nursing that one drink all night."

"And it was almost straight tequila, you little lush," I teased. "What do you expect?" I flashed her a smile to let her know that everything was cool but she saw right though me.

"Wha's wrong?" she asked. I shook my head, still trying to play off my weirdness as nothing more than too much tequila. "Come on," she begged, not buying it for a second. "Something's up with you and I'm sick of dealing with my own shit. Lemme help ya out."

"Bella, just drop it," I growled, bringing my glass to my lips and downing more in one sip than I'd had all night long. Shit! It burned like a motherfucker but at least it gave me something else to focus on for a few seconds.

If it was anyone else, asking them to drop the subject would have been enough to prompt a change in conversation. But, that's not the way we worked. We didn't let each other stew over anything and there was nothing we couldn't tell each other. That coupled with her copious alcohol consumption meant there was no way in hell she was going to let this go. I'd dug myself a grave and it would take every ounce of self-preservation I owned to get out of this mess without giving in and confessing everything to her.

She scooted across the couch until her knees hit my thigh and then rested her head on my shoulder, looking up at me with the big puppy dog eyes that always made me crack. "C'mon Edward. Tell Bella all about it." Oh, she was playing hardball.

"You're drunk," I replied.

"Which makes me perfect ta tell your sorrows to!" she insisted. "Ya know I'll give you my 'pinion straight up."

"Maybe that's what I'm afraid of, Baby Bell." I looked away, unable to look into those big, beautiful brown eyes any longer without becoming a puddle at her feet. My lack of eye contact only served to piss her off.

In one swift motion she threw her leg over me until she was seated in my lap, straddling me, and took my face in her tiny hands. "Wha the fuck, Cullen? You tell me everything. I tell you everything. That's our deal. Ever an ever!" I could barely breathe and quickly began recalling every disgusting image I could possibly muster to keep from becoming rock-hard and completely freaking her right the fuck out.

"Forever and ever," I corrected. "You can't even say it right, you're so drunk. Why should I tell you anything?" It was harsh and mean but I had to get her off of my lap. My self-control was crumbling by the second. I couldn't do this right now. My heart had been hanging on by a thread for years, ready to crumble completely when suddenly a light came on at the end of a tunnel. I was trying to be patient. I was trying to be good, to do the right thing for my friend but, fuck if she wasn't making it hard.

"Cuz, I'm your best friend an we don keep shit from each other," she snapped, refusing to budge and not releasing my face from her grasp.

"I'm allowed to have secrets, Isabella," I barked, becoming desperate now, "even from you."

She dropped my face and leaned away a bit, recoiling as if she'd just been slapped. I took the opportunity to place my hands on her waist and lift her from my lap. I sat her back on the couch but she shook off her stunned surprise just in time to wrap her arms around my neck again. I pushed her away as gently as I could but she held on tightly and as a result nearly pulled me down on top of her.

"Fuckin talk to me, asshole!" she cried.

"You're a Goddamn pain in the ass when you're drunk. You know that right?" I snapped, one arm on the couch, holding my body up and off of hers while the other tried to pry her arms from around my neck.

"Yup," she said with a smile and a nod. "So, you better just tell me what's wrong."

I hovered over her for a fraction of a second, her hands still clasped behind my neck, her right leg thrown over mine, keeping me in place. Our impromptu wrestling match brought a smile to my lips as I recalled the way we used to fight over the last Oreo as children or the remote in college. In that moment, it felt like old times, when everything was easy and comfortable. She looked up at me and smiled, possibly recalling the same memories I was. We were frozen for a second, just staring at each other.

Kiss her! A voice in my head cried. This is your chance. Kiss her! I came very close to giving in. To lowering my body to hers and capturing her lips with my own but another, louder voice stopped me. No! No, no no! She's drunk. You've been drinking. This is not the time.

I didn't want to, Lord knows how much I didn't want to, but I had to listen to the second voice because I knew it was right. She was drunk. She trusted me. I was her friend and I was supposed to be safe. I couldn't take advantage of her. I couldn't betray that.

"Stop it Bella," I roared, carefully pulling her arms from my neck and practically throwing myself back and off the couch. "Enough, alright?"

Stunned, she pulled herself back up to a sitting position and nodded meekly. It was clear she'd been offended by my refusal to talk but there wasn't much I could do about it. With any luck she'd forget all about it in the morning or write it off as alcohol related. It didn't matter, it would be much easier to get past than the near molestation I'd almost committed.

"I need a shower," I mumbled, looking for an excuse to be alone with my thoughts for a second. "Think you can avoid giving yourself alcohol poisoning for ten minutes until I get out?" I realized as soon as I said it that it might have sounded a little meaner than I'd intended. I smiled to let her know I was just teasing, trying desperately to get my mind back in that best friend mode after my near slip up.

"I'll try," she said with a laugh, "you know how I hate hospitals."

"How could I forget," I said with a smile as another memory flooded my mind.

July 1998

It was the hottest day of the summer but neither Bella nor I minded. It was the summer before sixth grade and we'd spent most of it at the newly erected park just down the street from my house. There were usually plenty of other kids around to play with but not that day. Everyone it seemed was down at the pool and we had plans to join them just as soon as my dad finished mowing the lawn and gave us a ride.

We'd just been messing around on the playground when it happened. I'd been teasing Bella about something stupid and she began chasing me. I clamored to the top of the giant dome climbing thing and laughed mockingly at her. She climbed up after me and once she reached the top, threw her arm out to smack me, but she never connected. Instead, she lost her balance and being so small, fell right through the big gaps in the dome. It was only a fall of three or four feet onto sand but I knew when I heard the crunch that she was in trouble.

I jumped from my perch and hurried to Bella who was huddled in a heap on the ground, sobbing. "Are you ok?" I asked, touching her shoulder lightly.

She rolled over, tears streaming down her dirt stained face as she clutched her arm to her chest. I might have been just an innocent twelve year old, but I knew immediately that the angle of her arm was just not right.

"I'll go get my dad," I said quickly, not sure what else I could do.

Bella shook her head and grabbed my arm with her good hand. "NO! Don't leave me here. Please Edward."

"Ok," I said quickly, pulling that good arm over my shoulder as I helped her to her feet. "Come on then."

She leaned on me heavily, crying against my shoulder as we made our way down the street to my house. My dad was still working in the yard, running the weed-whacker up and down the edges of the lawn. I heard the machine go dead and fall to the ground as soon as we came into his view. Dad hurried to our side and took Bella's arm in his hands gingerly, inspecting her injury for just a second before scooping her into his arms and rushing to the house. I followed behind, practically running to keep up.

"Esme," dad called out when we reached the front door. "I need you to get Chief Swan or Renee on the phone, tell them to meet us at the hospital. Isabella's fractured her arm."

He snatched his keys off the little basket on the entryway table and then hurried back outside, carrying Bella to his car while I could do nothing but follow helplessly. It wasn't until he had her safely in the backseat that he acknowledged my presence.

"What happened?"

As quickly as I could, I told him about her falling from the dome at the playground and the sickening crunching sound I'd heard when she fell. Dad nodded along throughout my story as if he'd known what happened all along. As he opened his own door I hurried around the car and pulled the other door open, ready to climb into the backseat with Bella but dad stopped me.

"No, Edward. Stay here with your mother. I need to take care of Bella. I can't be keeping an eye on you too."

"I'll be good, dad," I begged. "I wanna come. For Bella."

"I know son, but if you come with me, you'll just be in the way. I'm sure your mother would be willing to bring you to the hospital in a few minutes."

My shoulders slumped but I knew by the tone of his voice that he meant business and I wasn't going to delay Bella getting help by whining and complaining. Fortunately, my mother was as eager to get to the hospital as I was as soon as she informed Bella's parents of the situation.

However, I hadn't realized that we'd be stuck in the waiting room. Bella's mom and dad showed up at the same time we did and were led straight back to her room while I was stuck sitting on stupid plastic chairs, staring at a stupid fishtank while my mom read stupid magazines. I didn't even know if Bella was ok and no one would tell me anything.

Finally, after about a million minutes, Bella's mom came back and told my mom that Bella had definitely broken her arm and needed a cast. Then she turned to me and said the words I'd been waiting for. "Edward, sweetie, would you like to come sit with Bella for a minute? She's been asking to see you."

I nodded eagerly and took her hand as she led me through the maze of the ER to a small room where Bella was lying on a bed. There was a chair next to her bed and I hurried over to it, taking her uninjured hand as I sat down. "I'm so sorry B!" I cried. "If I wasn't being such a jerk you wouldn't have gotten hurt. I promise I won't ever tease you again."

"Oh, shut up," she said, earning her a reprimand from her mother but she ignored her. "You know that's not true, butthead! Besides, I'm still going to tease you."

Bella's mom tried to reprimand her again but laughed instead. "Edward, dear, would you stay and keep her company for a few minutes? I need to fill out some paperwork and her dad is off with your father somewhere."

"Sure, Mrs. Swan."

She left us with a smile and wave. As soon as her mother was out of the room, Bella's entire face fell. "Do you know how long I have to be here?" she asked.

I shook my head. "No one told me nothing."

"Crud. I hate it here. It smells funny and it feels weird. I just want to go home."

"I really am sorry, B."

"No, I'm sorry. Now we can't go swimming. Well I can't anyway. Your dad says I gotta wear a cast for a few weeks and I can't get it wet. So no swimming for me. But you can still go."

"Nuh-uh," I insisted. "If you're not going then I'm not going. It wouldn't be fun." She smiled for a second and then grimaced again in pain. "Does it still hurt?" I asked.

She nodded and hugged her arm to her chest again, blinking away tears. "They gave me some medicine but it still hurts a little. Mostly, I just want to go home."

"I can go look for my dad," I offered. "Maybe he can tell them to let you go?"

"No, don't leave me alone," she whispered. "I don't like it here. It really freaks me out."

It looked like she might start crying again and I didn't want that. I took her non-hurt hand in mine and held it tightly. "Don't worry, Bella, I'm not going anywhere."

I didn't either. I stayed by her side until they allowed her parents to take her home and then the two of us hung out all summer, finding alternative ways to stay cool. I didn't go swimming at all for the rest of that summer.

She never did get over her dislike for hospitals but that didn't stop her from repaying the favor and spending an entire afternoon at my hospital bedside two years later. I'd been participating in a school yard game of touch football that turned into tackle football when I got slammed to the ground by a monster of a kid named Felix during one play. When I couldn't put any weight on my left foot without extreme pain, I knew I was in trouble. But, just as I had for her years earlier, Bella put my arm over her shoulders and somehow supported my weight as we limped towards her home.

Her mother had thrown us both in the car and driven us straight to the emergency room where my dad was on duty. I told her she didn't have to stay, knowing her hatred for the ER, but she toughed it out and held my hand as we waited for x-rays and as they placed the cast on my foot. I didn't swim at all that summer either, and neither did Bella.

Present

Alone in the shower, the more depraved parts of my mind took over, replaying the feeling of Bella's little body beneath mine until I found myself gripping my erection tightly. I gave in and let my hand slide up and down my hardened shaft, leaning against the cool shower tile, until I found my release in a mixture of ecstasy and guilt.

When I finally pulled myself from the shower and exited the bathroom, I found Bella sprawled across my bed, lying on top of the covers, her arms behind her head and her legs crossed at the ankle as if she'd been relaxing casually when she fell asleep. I knew this position. Many a time in college had I found her waiting for me like this, ready to discuss a bad date, a silly movie, or a difficult test. She'd been waiting to talk to me when sleep finally pulled her under. I felt a bit guilty about it but I was glad she'd passed out before I stepped from the shower. I was certainly no closer to an explanation for her now than I'd been before. Not one I was ready to admit to right now anyways.

I managed to coax her under the blanket and into a more comfortable sleeping position before grabbing the other pillow and making my way out to the couch. I certainly didn't trust myself to share a bed with her tonight.

Even out on the couch, sleep refused to come easily and I resigned myself to tossing and turning until the first rays of sunlight made their way through the window. After that I gave up, made a large pot of coffee and set to work cleaning up the spare bedroom, figuring I'd spare mom and Alice the trouble. There wasn't much in here, a bookshelf, file cabinet and a desk with my computer. Most of which could go in my makeshift studio in the den. I dug my tools out of the garage and had just finished dismantling my desk when my cell phone alerted me to a new text message from Alice.

Mary forcing James to attend church and Sunday dinner as some sort of penance. Home will be clear all day to move B's stuff. Noon good for you?

I quickly tapped out an affirmative reply and stepped up my pace, hoping to clear the room completely before noon so we could move Bella's things right in. Mostly, I just needed to stay busy, keep my mind focused on something other than my feelings for my oldest friend.

So, it seems there may be cracks in our boy's resolve. See you Friday when we go clear out Bella's stuff. :)