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Author's Note: I don't feel too confidently about this but here it is. There's a bit more texting and dialogue and I'm not sure how I feel about it. Or at least I hope it wasn't too much. :)
Helga's Favorite Flavor of Ice Cream
Chapter 7: Brave, little hamster
Helga unzipped her messenger bag to fish out a pen and a small 13 month calendar that pictures of kittens on the cover and in a small picture in the upper right corner. Helga wrote down the information onto a notepad found near the phone in the foyer of the boarding house. She frowned as she could feel another bout of anxiety worming its way from the pit of her stomach. Helga worried about the seriousness of Miriam's crimes especially since she had injured someone in the process. The restitution alone was going to be outrageous never mind the court fees.
The court hearing was set two weeks from Monday. She wrote it down on her calendar and was relieved that there were no big projects or tests on that day. Helga would have to contact her instructors as soon she was back on campus and hope they'd be understanding. She'd also have to see about getting her classmates to help with notes.
A glance at a clock showed that it was nearly 2 o'clock in the afternoon. She was expected in work at 6 to work a 3 hour shift at the campus library. Helga ran up the stairs wanting to catch the next bus as soon as possible. That would allow her some time to take another shower to wash off the tension that had been building up again.
Helga squatted on the floor redoing her hair. She parted part of her hair and did a braid from one side of her ear to the other leaving her bangs and rest of her hair down. She combed through hair having to move around her shoulders after they tensed from being held in the position too long. Helga spritzed on some perfume on her wrists and right below her ears and reapplied her deodorant/anti-perspirant.
She heard Phil and Gertie laughing and reminiscing about some baby photographs of Arnold. Helga smiled remembering the picture of a three-year old Arnold she had kept all those years. Growing up she had upgraded the paper heart it was stuck onto reapplying it onto a hot-pink heart made of cardstock. She had even applied lace to the edges. It was tucked away in a memory box. The memory box served as a reminder that the past happened, and while she might have been slightly embarrassed she knew she had grown from those experiences.
If anyone had known how girl Helga could be she was sure they'd be sputtering their shock and having a conniption. It seemed that when it came to Arnold this surge of femininity would come gushing forth. Evidence was the time she had dolled herself up such as when she pretended to be Cecile and when she had taken them to the French restaurant. Helga was sure that Arnold had forgotten all about it but for her it was always going to have a spot in her heart. However as time went on Helga began to confidently embrace her feminine side for no other reason than she wanting to embrace everything she was.
Helga entered the front room and smiled at Maria laughing at the stories and Arnold groaning in embarrassment. Gertie looked up from the photographs only to exclaim happily that Helga was to sit next to her. Helga bit her lip unsure what to do. It wasn't that she did not want to see the pictures, oh she did but that seemed like something left for family and close, intimate friends. Helga believed herself to be neither.
"Er, I have to be at work at six tonight," Helga said as she moved back into the foyer, "I still have to get back and get ready."
"Nonsense," Gertie frowned, "I can drive you and have you back home in a jiffy! You're going to miss the bath shots!"
"No way," Arnold exclaimed, "I don't want Helga seeing them!"
Helga stared at Arnold and his use at her name only. She supposed that was only natural. "He probably worries that I'm going to use it against him," Helga thought. Maybe it was something he only wanted someone like Maria to see?
"Football head made it clear that he doesn't want me to see, afraid of the blackmail I'd do no doubt," Helga smirked, "besides that stuff is for family and intimate friends, and neither of which I fit."
"Helga, I didn't say that," Arnold retorted.
"No but I am," Helga said shrugging, "Arnold, it's fine, I'm just saying what's true."
"You are a good friend," Arnold let out a frustrated sigh.
"I'm not saying I'm not Arnoldo," Helga let out a huff of a laugh who air quoted 'intimate friends' and with a pointed nod to Maria, "You know exactly what I meant by intimate friends."
Arnold blushed at Helga's insinuation. Helga narrowed her eyes in confusion. She widened her eyes at Arnold's continued discomfort. "So Maria doesn't know?" Helga thought to herself.
"Hm," Helga broke the momentary silence, "gonna cut through the awkward and make my exit. I'll see you guys when I see you. Thanks for everything."
With a wave and a goodbye Helga was out the door. Helga walked to her bus stop and was almost thankful that Arnold didn't follow. She didn't want the Spanish Inquisition over what she said in the foyer. Though she knew Arnold would not let it go. Knowing this Helga texted Phoebe giving her the full details along with she tell Helga what Arnold said, and guessing what he was planning on doing. Helga wanted some time to prepare for Arnold's questions.
While on the bus Helga received a text from an unknown phone number. She read and rolled her eyes. It seemed that soon as she left Arnold had badgered Phoebe for her cell phone number.
Had to be Arnold: Why the hell would you say that?
Helga, who didn't feel like she said anything particularly wrong or worth commenting on: Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Soon to be confirmed Arnold: It's Arnold. Why would you say that stuff?
Helga whose mood was being tested: Listen bucko you know what I said was true. That stuff is meant for families and for a girlfriend or soon-to-be girlfriend in your case? How could I have known you hadn't popped the question yet?
Arnold: I was getting there Helga.
Helga: Then I helped it along. Shouldn't there be a thanks somewhere in those texts? Besides you also said that to me specifically so I decided to not embarrass you.
Arnold: Thank you *sighs*
Helga: All right then glad that's taken care of. But seriously though it's fine. I just made a conclusion since you two were bedding in the same room. You gotta admit that's an easy mistake to make.
Arnold: We just have the stuff in the same room…We're not sleeping together not in the same room and not, in the, uh,… Other sense
Helga who knew when was Arnold's birthday and smiled literally reading the blush that was covering his entire face: Well yeah that's statutory rape. You turn 18 in what a few short weeks?
Arnold: Yeah
Helga: So I take it your birthday wish is Maria popping your cherry ;)
Arnold: . . . how did we go from my not pursuing Maria yet to you asking about popping my cherry?
Helga: Amazing conversation diversion tactics that I seem to have? Lack of tact?
Arnold: Apparently :) Helga listen I am sorry if I insinuated that you weren't a good friend
Helga: OMG Will you stop football head? I already said it was fine. Listen we're friends and stop worrying so much about it. We may not be the best of friends but that's fine. Isn't it?
Arnold: You are pretty damn close to being a best friend Helga.
Helga: Eh, sorry don't see it. We might have had our run-ins as kids but I don't think that constitutes as best friends though.
Arnold: You know it was more than a few run-ins Helga
Helga not wanting Arnold to bring up the FTI business, or all the times they were put together by the universe, or the various times they kissed only to have her mess all those chances up or Arnold not see that Helga was in love with him: They're really not worth a mention Arnold. Okay listen bub if it makes you feel any better we are great friends
Arnold: You called me Arnold
Helga pleased how easy it was to distract Arnold: Well I'm serious. We can hang out especially since our best friends are basically dating exclusively. I know Phoebe doesn't date around.
Arnold: Gerald hasn't for a while…
Helga: Why don't they just make it exclusive? Criminy!
Arnold: I guess they don't want to define it what with us all graduating
Helga and Arnold continued to text back and forth. She had decided to keep the conversation mostly one-sided with her asking questions from Arnold and his replying. The conversation came to a lull when Helga said her goodbyes letting Arnold know that with school and college applications she was going to be busy. She also suggested that the four of them including Maria and anyone else could go to dinner or the movies. She smiled as Arnold asked if it was okay to text her. Her response was a "we were already texting Arnoldo" and imagined the exasperated sigh Arnold was sure to have done. Helga enjoyed how easily Arnold could be flustered.
Back at her dorm room Helga changed into what she dubbed her librarian attire. The dress code was strict enough that Helga had to work her way through the clothing racks to find some business casual attire. Truth be told Helga hated business wear but figured that she could at least wear them for future job and college interviews. Helga changed into a white blouse with a band collar that tied to one side in a floppy bow. She tucked it into her tight, black skinny jeans that ended above her ankle. She finished the look with a simple, chic black blazer and 3 inch stiletto heels in a leopard print.
"Cara," Helga called out to her roommate who turned around from her math homework, "Gonna be heading out to the library. No sexing up in my bed."
"Ha ha fuck you," Cara smiled, "So you're gonna tell me everything that is going on over a tub of ice cream, whip cream and the fixings."
"Yeah sure," Helga smiled, "I checked with the RA after apologizing about what happened which I'm gonna spill later and they're gonna let Pheebs spend the night. She's happy because it allows her to get to the library early."
"Cool!" Cara smiled widely, "she can help me with my homework. That girl has some serious brains on her. She's been giving Philip a serious run of his money for valedictorian."
"All I know is that I'd like a Summa cum laude but I don't think that's gonna happen."
"As if Magna cum laude is nothing to boast at."
"Yeah I just hope the places I'm applying for thinks like that," Helga smiled and said her goodbyes.
Helga arrived at the library fifteen minutes prior. The librarian, Mrs. Coulson, was about to make a comment about tardiness and Helga smiled and pointed to the clock. The two laughed together with Mrs. Coulson remarking about how she never had to worry about Helga. Helga retorted that living in the dorms had its perks.
The job was simple and could be tedious at times. Helga took the books from the carts and shelved them according to the National Library of Congress which was much more difficult than the Dewey decimal system. Helga still had a cheat sheet with her for when she needed the extra help. She was referring to the cheat sheet less and less but it helped not having to bug Mrs. Coulson with questions that could be answered with a bit of research and patience.
She felt a tap on her shoulder and turned around starting her usual spiel, "Yes? How can I help you?"
"I was wondering if I could borrow your notes in Mr. Gooseberry's class." Phoebe smiled.
"Yeah sure," Helga smiled, "Cara's in the room doing homework also begging for your help. And you're going to get the full scoop later."
Helga remembered the scene earlier that day and felt herself short circuiting. It wasn't only the fact that she had seen Arnold in only clad in boxer briefs and realized that he had very much grown up into a man. It was the fact that he had seen her completely nude, in the buff, au naturel. Helga could feel herself becoming red with a blush.
"Helga," Phoebe said trying to stifle a smile, "what happened?"
"I can't," Helga shook her head rapidly, "I'm sure Mrs. Coulson would get mad at me slacking off."
Mrs. Coulson stood behind her and let out a quiet cough. Helga turned around and let out a nervous laughter trying to desperately tell Mrs. Coulson that Phoebe was only momentarily dropping by to grab her notes. She also emphasized that she was busy putting the books away. Mrs. Coulson shushed Helga stating that because it was a Saturday night the only students in the library were ones like Phoebe who most likely had their homework done by Wednesday only to have Phoebe reply with a Tuesday. Mrs. Coulson smiling at the response invited them into her office offering some tea and cookies, she wanted in on the gossip. She left the blinds open and put out the bell that students could ring for service.
It was then that Helga gushed her entire story. From what happened to her mom and the news about the hearing to the anxiety attack she was having about the following proceedings. She then went into detail about the night she spent at Sunset Arms, which elicited a squeak from Phoebe, to everything that happened early that morning, and until the early afternoon. She even spoke of that 'that incident' and the fact that Arnold must have been so enamored with Maria he seemed so unaffected.
Mrs. Coulson let out a soft laugh. She patted Helga's hand and began to share her thoughts about how Arnold most likely had seen Helga's discomfort and did not want to make the situation worse. The fact that he had not stared lewdly, or reacted in a way that would have made the situation more awkward. The fact that he turned away meant he was as affected as she was.
The girls laughed and Helga felt much better. She was relieved to see that they were both affected thoroughly. "Poor Arnold," Helga mused, "seeing Helga G. Pataki in the buff." Helga let out a soft puttering laugh. The rest of the shift was spent talking about Phoebe's life, her relationship with Gerald becoming more serious.
Helga felt so much lighter. It was wonderful to have Phoebe and Mrs. Coulson to voice everything that had happened, her fears, her thoughts. Helga smiled as she was reminded of her neighbor who had been there when her family had not. Helga made a note to visit her grave and have a long overdue conversation with her. It also made Helga realize that she was going to bake something for Mrs. Coulson who was becoming like a kindly grandmother.
Phoebe and Helga walked back to her dorm room. Both were deep in thought and unsure how to make heads and tails out of 'ice cream.' Phoebe looked up to her friend and noticed her frown and occasional smile.
"Helga," Phoebe asked quietly.
"Yeah Pheebs?" Helga responded.
"How do you feel about ice cream?" Phoebe asked, both knew what she was insinuating.
"I know I think he's handsome, so there's that," Helga paused, "and I don't think I love him the way I did when I was younger. I do still love him but I don't know how to explain it. I do love him. It's more than just the idea of what he represents. But I'm not in love with him… thing is though I do think I could actually fall in love with him. Therein lies the problem Pheebs."
"How can falling in love be a problem," Phoebe replied shaking her head.
"Yeah, but it's going to be same old thing," Helga bit her lower lip, "this time I will actually fall in love with him but I'm too scared to tell him and he's too dense to notice, or he's stuck in how sees me. Then he'll parade his new crush in front of me. It was Ruth, Lila, Summer and others before and now Maria. Who can say who he'll dangle in front of me if Maria and he don't work out?"
"You can't say that for sure Helga," Phoebe consoled.
"I know but I feel like I'm going to be the hamster in a wheel," Helga replied, "I think we'll be making progress but then I'll realize I'm going nowhere, we're going nowhere. Even in the jungle I acted even worse because I was afraid to show my real feelings. But you didn't see what I saw, Arnold have this look of panic when he even thought that the label, this box, that he put me in was wrong."
"But we were just kids then," Phoebe retorted.
"That's true and I'm willing to go out on a limb, get to know him and see where it goes," Helga relented, "and hope that the universe works in our favor where if I do fall in love with everything he is and not just what he represents, that he feels the same and that we're both at the right place and the right time. Because being in love and knowing the other person doesn't feel the same or can't even regard you in that light really, really hurts."
"You know," Phoebe smiled slightly, "have you thought of having, oh I don't know, me drop off your novella that you wrote for the contest?"
"Er," Helga paused for several long moments, "but isn't that pushing something along mechanically? Wouldn't be better to let the chips fall where they may?"
"Or you can treat this like a chess game where you have to plan your move several steps ahead and be willing to put your pieces out there," Phoebe replied.
"Well, Pheebs," Helga said shyly, "if you think it'd do some good but oh god he's going to learn everything. I hope I'm brave enough to face him after that."
"I think you're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for," Phoebe said warmly. They returned to the dorm room for a study session, more girl talk, and making even better friends with Ben and Jerry while watching a couple of romantic comedies.