Try to Love Again - Chapter 7

by Kadi

Rated T

Disclaimer: It isn't my sandbox. I simply visit it from time to time.

By that Friday, Flynn found that his partner was no longer ignoring him. Whatever his opinion on the relationship between the Lieutenant and Captain, Provenza was keeping it more or less to himself now that it appeared to be official. The pair were back to sniping at one another in their usual, mostly, good natured manner. The one thing that Flynn had not anticipated or imagined happening was that he would get called into Taylor's office.

Sharon was absent, she had spent the morning in her office, but was taking much accrued personal time in the afternoon to see her children off at the airport as they returned to their respective homes.

Taylor didn't typically call individual members of Sharon's team on the carpet when she wasn't present, not unless he felt it necessary. He usually dealt directly with the Captain, or with Provenza in her absence. There had been the instance in which he had taken Julio aside several weeks before, to caution him on the effects of his temper and losing it in front of witnesses and suspects. Still, when it came to him, Andy dealt with Taylor as little as possible. That was his preference, and had been, since the time the guy threw him under a bus and tried to stick a knife in his back at the same time, metaphorically speaking of course.

The worst part of it all was that they had actually been friends once upon a time. Andy expected that there were those people who would screw you over if given half a chance. It was just the nature of the human beast. Greed and ambition got the best of some people. What he didn't exactly was that it would come from the small arena of people that he chose to call friend. Which was exactly what happened with Taylor. That was why he hadn't forgiven him for it yet, and likely never would.

The man was a snake. That was something that could never be forgotten. An ambitious snake at that. Sometimes Flynn felt that Taylor would steamroll over his own mother if it would get him ahead. That was exactly the thought that he kept in mind when he reported to the man's office on Friday afternoon.

Taylor looked up when the Lieutenant entered. "Have a seat." He didn't bother rising from his own chair, and instead, waved Flynn to one of the empty chairs in front of his desk. He waited until he was seated before peering at him over his glasses. Taylor leaned back in his chair and steepled his fingers together. "I had an interesting report."

Flynn sighed. Here they went. But when he tried to think back to which dirtbag he could have pissed off enough, this time, to file a complaint, he came up empty. Although it would make sense why Taylor was coming to him direct. It got a little awkward when they had to deal with FID now that Sharon was no longer a part of it, but one of them instead. "Yeah?" He kept his expression carefully neutral. "Maybe you don't have enough to do then if all you've got to read is a report on me. Honestly, Chief, I can't think of a single person I've managed to piss off lately." Except, maybe his partner, but that was between the two of them.

"It was not that kind of report." Taylor tilted his head and watched him. "Although I admit, your restraint has been admirable. No, I was talking about the report that your Captain turned in, regarding a change in relationship status with a subordinate officer." It was a surprise. He never would have expected it of Captain Raydor. She was always so by the book, but at the same time, he had to acknowledge that there weren't any hard and fast rules against it, so long as it was reported and the situation could be monitored. She had done that much. Taylor reached out and tapped the report, which was open on his desk. "Before I file it and it becomes a matter of record, are you sure this is something you want to do?"

His brows drew together in a puzzled frown. "Why are you asking me that?" Andy shook his head. "If you've got an issue with it, shouldn't you be talking to the Captain?"

"I already have." Taylor sat forward and clasped his hands together against the top of his desk. "Now I'm asking you. Look, Andy," he said, specifying the man's name. "What I'm asking is if you're sure you want to get tangled up with her again? Last time didn't end so well, as far as I remember."

There they had it. Andy sighed. The problem with having friends stab you in the back and stop being friends, is that they often had inside information you wished they didn't. Taylor was now a perfect example. He knew about the history with Sharon, a good chunk of it anyway. "All do respect, Chief," Andy stressed his title when he responded, dark eyes hooded. "I don't think that's any of your business."

Flynn really could be a stubborn ass when he wanted to be, Taylor reflected. "Look, let me level it out for you. It didn't work out the first time. If it doesn't work out this time..." There was only so far that he could push, Taylor knew. He watched the other man, and when the jaw twitched and the eyes began to darken, he knew that he was getting very close to crossing a line that would have Flynn's temper escaping his restraint. "All I'm saying is," he said more carefully, "is that I remember what happened the last time."

The Lieutenant's eyes narrowed. "Are we on the record here?" His hands, which were clenched tightly around the arms of his chair, were itching to fold into fists. Sharon would be mortified if she knew they were sitting here discussing this, and more than that, the details of his relationship with her were none of the snake's business. Not so long as they weren't crossing any lines, and he knew they weren't, hadn't, and wouldn't. Sharon wouldn't allow it, for one, but he wasn't going to risk screwing this up. Not for either of them.

Taylor's head tilted. He gestured with a hand. "No, no we're not on the record. Speak freely."

Instead, Andy pushed out of his chair. He leaned over the desk. "This conversation isn't gonna happen," he said slowly. "You and me, we ain't friends. That stopped when you stuck your knife into my back over Croelick. As far as Sharon is concerned, thank you for your concern, Chief, but we're doing just fine." Andy straightened. "If that's all, I'd like to get back to work now."

The Chief leaned back in his seat and sighed. "Yeah, go on." He held up a finger. "Just know, on the record, I'll be watching both of you."

"Now that," Andy fired back with a half sneer, "I actually believe."

Andy left then, without sparing him a backward glance. He walked down the long hall. The urge to hit something was a strong one. He stepped into the empty break room instead. Once the door was closed behind him he expelled the breath he'd been holding. "Son of a bitch!" He knocked one of the light, plastic and metal chairs across the room and watched it slide until it tipped over. It clattered to a stop against the counter. His hands moved to his hips while he paced the room. He had hardly managed to expend all the frustration that little meeting had provoked, but it was a start.

Now he needed to decide if he was going to tell Sharon about it or not. Andy finally decided on not. It wasn't an official inquiry, and there was no reason to rehash the past or why Taylor would know about it. Of course, with the memory she had, he wouldn't be surprised if she recalled that back then his circle of friends had included the former Robbery Homicide Captain. No, Andy thought again. He wouldn't tell her. There was no good to come of it. It would only embarrass and worry her. Andy would keep this one to himself, and then forget about it, which was all that it really deserved in the end.

When he felt like he had his temper suitably under control, Flynn made his way back to the Murder Room. He dropped into the chair behind his desk, but not without glancing at the Captain's empty office. It was second nature by now, even when he knew she wouldn't be there.

"Where the hell have you been?" Provenza glowered at him.

"Taylor." Flynn slanted a look at him, then rolled his eyes. "Had questions about a case I worked, an old one. Nothing important."

Provenza nodded slowly. That figured. Taylor couldn't read between the lines of a case file if it was color coordinated with diagrams. "Well get back to work." He shook his pencil at him. "No one leaves here until those reports are finished."

Andy shot a pointed look at him. His partner was already working on his second crossword. "Really?" He asked blandly. "What do you call that?"

"Supervising." He smirked. "Mine have been finished for..." He glanced at his watch, "three hours now. You could learn a thing or two about not procrastinating."

"Or delegating all your work to other people so there isn't much to write about," Sanchez muttered under his breath.

"Indeed," Tao glanced at them from his desk.

Provenza simply smirked and leaned back in his seat. "There are advantages to age boys and girls."

"Yeah?" Flynn tilted his head at him. "I didn't think Medicare paid as much as it used to."

"You'll be finding out for yourself soon enough," His partner shot back, non-plussed. Flynn wasn't that far behind him, after all.

"Must be nice," Amy chirped. She shared a look with Julio and grinned. "Being old enough for senior discounts. I bet the Lieutenants could tell us all the best places to eat and shop once we reach their ages."

Julio snickered quietly. "Like who has the best early bird special."

"Hey!" Both men scowled at them.

"Alright, that's enough," Provenza waved his crossword at them. "Everyone back to work."

"I never understood that," Buzz said. "Why do they call it the early bird special. Why not just call it the old coot special..."

The next half hour was lost on laughter and light-hearted bickering as the discussion of age continued.

By the time he left headquarters that evening, Andy was feeling better about the situation. That was until the inevitable happened. The team was leaving the building, via the lobby, when it was decided that they would head over to O'Malleys to celebrate the successful end to their case. Sanchez and Buzz were on board, Tao wavered before giving in. Sykes had already gone ahead of the others, she had a date planned with Cooper.

"Yeah, Flynn, we'll get a steak, a beer…" Provenza smirked at him. "Okay, we will get a steak, and a beer. You will watch us have fun, and it will be just like old times!"

"You're right," Andy nodded slowly as they walked across the courtyard. "You should definitely go do that. I am going home." He doubted he had enough time to swing by the market and get home in time to shower before Sharon was supposed to show up.

"What?" Sanchez tossed a puzzled look at him. He shook his head. "Come on, Lieutenant. We used to always head over to O'Malleys after closing a case. It's been a long time since we did that. You should join us."

"Lieutenant, you don't have to be the designated driver," Buzz immediately offered. He figured it couldn't be that entertaining, to watch everyone become intoxicated and then be automatically expected to get them home because he didn't drink. "I can make sure that the Lieutenant and anyone else makes it home safely."

Andy sighed at the hopeful looks on the two younger men's faces. "Look, guys…" He ran a hand over his forehead and gestured with his other hand. "Normally, I would, but not this time. I appreciate it, I do," he said, looking at Buzz. "I don't mind being the driver." He grinned crookedly. It was something he was used to, especially with Provenza. "I just… have something else going on tonight."

"Hot date." Tao smirked at him.

"You're holding out on us?" Sanchez shook his head. "Lieutenant, I'm hurt. She have a sister?"

"Oh. God." Provenza wanted to shudder. He gave in to the feeling. "I should have known." He shot a look of disgust at his partner. "This is how it starts…"

"Cheer up, Lieutenant." Sanchez was grinning. "Maybe she has two sisters!"

"Or a friend," Buzz suggested, trying to be helpful.

"I don't think so," Andy chuckled at them. "Her sister is married, and I'm not sure you would want to date her friends…" Considering most of them were standing right there, and the others, well, Gavin Baker came to mind. Andy stepped around them. "Have fun guys, I'll see you Monday…" If not before, went without saying.

Provenza watched him go. His face screwed up and he shuddered again. "If ever I needed a drink," he muttered to the others, "it was now. Let's go." He was just thankful that no one suggested inviting Flynn's date along.

The Lieutenant attempted to enjoy himself for the remainder of the evening. It was difficult to do when there was a cloud hanging in the distance. There were advantages to having been around as long as he had, but there were also some things that he wished he didn't know. That relationships among colleagues was a bad idea, for one thing.

He wasn't a completely heartless man. He would like to see his partner be happy. In this case, it just simply was not going to happen. Provenza couldn't even say that he had anything against his partner's choice in lady friend, she was an attractive woman, and when separated from the department, they had all seen that she was funny, a good mother, and of course intelligent went without saying. What she saw in Flynn he would never understand, but Provenza didn't want to. He didn't need to. The writing was on the wall. Unfortunately, he was the only one capable of seeing it.

Disagreements would lead to tension. Then, no matter how hard the pair of them attempted to keep it out of the Murder Room, it would eventually follow them to work. The cohesion of the team would begin to break down as, eventually, people would take sides. Then, if they broke up, oh god help them if they actually broke up. Someone would have to transfer. It was entirely unlikely that it would be The Captain. No, that was obvious too. Flynn would be out, moved back to Robbery Homicide, or another location entirely. That was if they even allowed him to transfer. More likely as not, at his age, it would be retirement.

Provenza could not understand how they hadn't thought of these things? Flynn might be a joker, but he wasn't an idiot. He was a decently intelligent guy, and he had been on the force long enough to know all this too! The part of it all that Provenza found most astonishing was that The Captain seemed to be so oblivious to all of the facts stacked against her currently. He had known that woman a long time, he might be old but he could clearly recall the very first time she busted his chops to some training class or another, back when she was a nobody sergeant and still wet behind her FID ears.

He could remember with absolute clarity the flash in her eyes when he'd told her that she was being too nice. That if she planned to make it in this business as one of the rat squad, then she needed to grow some stones. She was new to FID, and of course he did some checking around. He wasn't going to have his stones busted by some pipsqueak little sergeant without finding out who she was and where she came from. It wasn't hard to uncover the facts about the little brunette with the fire in her eyes. And okay, yes, he would admit it, for about five seconds he had been interested. That was before his research revealed the fact that she was married, pregnant, and transferred to FID from Vice because it was the only division with an opening at present.

Oh yes, Provenza knew all about it. She already had the one kid, the little dancing ballerina, and the other on the way. Despite the official story that ended up circulating over the years, especially after she moved up the ranks and took over FID, that she wanted to advance quickly and it was the best way… he remembered the truth. She was just a kid, with a husband that drank too much and laughed too loudly at his own jokes. The LAPD might be a very large department, but there were some corners of it that were very tight knit. People just happened to learn things about others, even when they didn't want to.

So he knew, quite well, that she was a smart lady that was perfectly capable of taking care of herself. So why the hell was she trying to screw it all up now? Provenza was beginning to wonder if this was some sort of odd, shared, mid-life crisis that the two of them were attempting to sweep everyone else into. He was too damned old for that. So were they, when he really thought about it. Both of them had seen the best part of fifty and were sliding closer to the other end.

That was possibly the craziest part. They both knew better. They just seemed intent to not do better. That made it more difficult on those that could see the disaster that was coming and couldn't stop it.

Those thoughts were still invading Provenza's thoughts, well into Saturday. It managed to put him in a less cheerful mood than usual, something which made him want to smack Flynn around a little more than he typically did. Grocery shopping was something that he usually enjoyed. Yes, that was somewhat odd, but coming down to the large Whole Foods place wasn't something he minded. It was one of the few chores he hadn't minded during his marriages.

Provenza trudged through the place, his basket on his arm and grumbled when someone stepped in front of him. If he weren't busy thinking about how much he now dreaded having to go back to work and face the dunderheads in love, he probably wouldn't have cared. But here he was, and they'd managed to even ruin his Saturday. Provenza was thinking that maybe he would have to respond in kind.

It was an interesting thought. If he could make their Monday as crappy as they were making his Saturday, provided of course none of them got called into work before then, it might just cheer him up. The Lieutenant almost smiled as he rounded the end of a shelf to move down the next aisle. The smile froze on his face. Standing to one side of the aisle, a basket in front of them, were the two people he wanted to throttle the most.

Provenza's eyes narrowed. Flynn was laughing while he held something over his head, well out of the Captain's reach… and had she always been that short? His other arm was around her, hand on his hip as she leaned up against him, trying to retrieve the item. His teeth ground together at the sight.

"No." Andy's eyes sparkled as he held the package aloft. "We're not getting this. I'll do a lot of things for you, lady, but we are not bringing quinoa into my house. Have you actually cooked this stuff before? It stinks."

"It's a better alternative to the crap you've been eating. Andy!" She finally settled back on her feet and pouted at him. "What kind of vegetarian are you?"

"The unhealthy kind." He dipped his head and kissed her downturned lips. They spent the evening and most of the morning in bed. Which meant that Andy hadn't made it to the market the previous day, as he planned. Since they had looked forward to spending Saturday together, it was a chore they were sharing. With a lot more fun than he ever imagined shopping would be. Andy didn't come here often, he usually used the smaller market near his own place, but they'd gone to breakfast together - or actually, it was closer to lunch. They stopped at the market because it had the best bakery between the restaurant and his place.

"Hm." Sharon hummed against his mouth and drew away. "Yes, that is quite obvious. What happened to living better, caffeine is bad, and we have to take care of ourselves?" Her eyes sparkled as her voice dipped, in an almost passable imitation.

Andy snorted. "I passed out at work, this cute girl I was interested in saw me. It was kind of embarrassing. So now I take my pills, I eat my rice, pasta, and potatoes and life is much better."

She giggled at him. "You are so bad. Fine. Have it your way, but don't come crying to me when you're being tied down to have your arteries unclogged." She shook her finger at him, but she was smirking happily.

"Oh gods." Provenza wanted to throw up. He knew Flynn shopped here occasionally. It was his partner that turned him on to it. They had the best meat, and bread, and he could get the imported beer he liked without having to make another stop on the way home. It worked for him. "You're going to be one of those couples. Do you have no self respect at all?" He adjusted his basket on his arm and glowered at them. "No one wants to see that." He huffed in annoyance and moved to walk around them. He really didn't want to stop and chat. "For crying out loud, pull yourselves together, there's children around here."

They glanced at one another and both turned as he walked past them and away. He was still grumbling and gesturing as he went. Andy tossed the package of quinoa into their basket, but kept his arm around Sharon. "Hey, Louie…" He called after him. "Come on."

"Don't." His partner turned to glare at him. "Call me that." He marched back toward them. Provenza pointed at them. "I expected better of you," he shook his finger at his wide-eyed, shocked captain. "Him, no, he's always been an idiot, but you…." Provenza sniffed at them. "Yes, alright, fine. People have feelings and they can't always control who they are for. That's where you come into it," he said to her. "I expected you to keep a lid on this."

Sharon drew a shallow breath. They expected that he would be unhappy about it. Even a little angry. Disappointment hadn't occurred to her. "Lieutenant…" She tried to smile and felt it lacking. Sharon didn't expect that someone else's opinion of her personal life would have such an effect on her. Suddenly, she felt twelve again, facing the weight of her father's disappointment that she fought with her sister. "I understand that you're displeased with us," she said quietly. "What can I do to assure you that I've—"

"Save it." Provenza cut her off. It was a Saturday, after all, and they weren't at work. He didn't have to listen to her placating justifications. "No doubt you think you've thought it all through. I don't care. This," he gestured between them. "It never works. It'll be fun for a while and then you'll make each other miserable. Then you'll make us all miserable. Just do us all a favor, give us all a heads up before you completely blow the team apart." He leaned back, adjusted his basket again and smoothed down his casual, Saturday polo. "Now, if you will excuse me, I think we both have things that need to be done today. While we can."

Saddened by his admonishment, Sharon sighed softly. "Of course, Lieutenant. I'll see you Monday. Enjoy your weekend."

"Yeah." He waved a hand at them and turned. Like that was going to happen now. Provenza walked down the aisle. He decided there was nothing on that one he really needed. He stopped at the end though, and glanced back. What he saw made him sniff and groan quietly. He watched his partner tuck a lock of hair behind her ear before he cupped her cheek and bent, kissing her again. Sickening, Provenza decided. He turned away again and went in search of the meat department. God help them all. They actually looked like they were in love. Hell, it could have been him and Liz more than half a life time ago… but that just proved, nothing lasted forever. No matter what you thought when it started. "Damned love sick fools…"