Chapter 7 Heaven knows

"Tell 'em it's good

Tell 'em okay

Don't do a goddamn thing they say" - Heaven knows

…

April, 1999

She was merely here to collect necessities, for her far long trip. She was merely trying to gather things that she couldn't live without. And it had only become mesmerizing moments and re-endearing moments here and there, and it was absolute waste of time.

Her brain was now messed, could not stop thinking and thinking, stomach upset, nausea, a little trouble breathing. This had happened before, but back in Hogwarts, she had elves with her, and here, she had red, warm red wallpaper surrounding her.

It was insulting, comparing elves with warm red wallpaper, but it would be silly if she compared elves with her friends.

Almost in a confiscating manner, she picked up things here and there, ready to put them in a plastic bag and labelled them, it was not as if they needed more labelling, it was only a matter of needed and not needed. And so far, in her needed bag, was a photo album, a diary and her laptop, nothing else was needed, which was also insulting.

Why did she suddenly present herself in a high-pride manner? It was unusual of her.

Because she had already determined that low self-esteem comes from too high of a self-esteem. Thinking too low of oneself equals a almost god-like complex, that they could do anything, and thus blaming themselves when it was impossible to acquire so much from one single human being, and magical or non-magical, same rule applies.

She learnt from that, understanding that blaming herself would be an action of pride, and pride was one of the things that she wished she didn't had possessed, among with jealousy and perfect eye sight.

Qualities are not important, the world was composed of quantities, a normal distribution as a mathematician would say, a bunch of high incidence events and a few rare incidence events, it was an ideal and stupid assumptions, a poet would say it didn't matter, qualities enlighten the colors of life, mathematics ensures enough lives and poetry ensures the depth of it.

Hermione Granger said it was all bullshit.

Quality and quantity are things that people with too much time to gather, most people in the world did not even realize which spectrum that they were in before their lives end. Meaning, it didn't matter, only lives matter since lives decide.

…

June, 1999

Moments before Hermione Granger met the Malfoys again. Moments before she stepped out of that apartment, thinking she should be at her favorite place, just to stop the thinking.

She was mildly annoyed by the fact the letters were coming everywhere. Was that how Harry's uncle had thought when Harry's acceptance letters from Hogwarts had come, that he didn't want to be found, just wanted to live a normal life, where he's in control of what's going to happen next. Will she become a bad person like Harry had described his uncle?

She was tired, receiving letters, flying from everywhere, placing untraceable charms, making sure that the owls went back with no information on her. She was tired, she just wanted to sort this out, with time and silence and peace. But that seemed impossible at the moment, her brain was not in a capable manner, and it should stop and rest, until a new perspective came to mind, or she would easily give in sitting in the living room full of mail.

Moments after at her new favorite place, she met the Malfoys, the new perspective.

…

July, 1999

He enjoyed being with her. Not because she was not the same, contradictory, if there's such a word, it was because she was exactly the same.

The enjoyable part was that she thought not, she thought she was not the same person she used to be, she blamed herself from becoming that person. It was interesting watching her, having such a struggle, while it could be resolve with one realization.

But no one could let go that easily, nonetheless it was not good for you. After Lucius's death, his mother and him could have been living a easier life, a free-living one, but it could not be the case, because that rope used to tie so tightly around them, so tight and so long they've gotten used to it, it may kill them to lose that rope so quickly.

Little by little they'll be free.

Blacks give good dark and good light, there's no in-between and there's no way to know, they are radicals, free and unstable, or ground and wicked. It would be interesting someday, if he could show her the true colors of a Black.

She was mildly surprised, even touched when she saw that he was back, the look in her eyes, he could see, it was like a little chick being born, and recognized the first thing as its mother, and now he's her mother.

…

May, 2004. May 2nd, to be exact.

It was so fucking cheesy. Her daughter was born, 2nd, May, 2004, the 6th anniversary of the end of the second wizarding war. It was not okay with Draco, he had that face on him, the face of disapproval, but he still wanted to wait and see if something good would happen, face.

Astra Malfoy, weighed 5 pounds, a little too small for a big man like Draco, a little too weak for her age.

Using constellations as name was a tradition in the Black family, he had taught her long ago, this family, left untouched by the Dark Lord, was a Black at heart, but not quite, and so, the name Astra was given, it means stars and strength, she will be a tough little girl.

She was born 7:35 p.m., just as she thought she had a little longer, Astra proved not. Draco was not allowed in, she didn't want him to be a distraction, she had a habit of staring at him, just for luck and strength, and she wanted to give birth only by herself.

So beautiful, this little girl. Narcissa was right after all, she would love this little thing more than anything in the world, even though it was just supposed to be an instinct to protect the little ones. She loves her, more than anything in the world, and Draco must not know, he would be jealous at any living thing.

It became awkward for the press, after the war, they have babies born on May 2nd published, treated just as some sort of new year babies. And when they knew that the only girl born in magical St. Mungo on that day, was the daughter of Draco Malfoy, war villain and Hermione Granger, war heroine, it became, as Draco would quote, so fucking cheesy.

…

August, 1999

Maybe she just really needed to work, because since she had started working, the drinking had stopped and the cutting had stopped. Maybe she just wasn't doing something important enough for her to keep her mind clear, to keep her body ready.

The wound started the heal, the withdrawl symptoms started to end.

The Malfoys were working and Hermione was working. They were out for business that few days, after almost a year, charges were dropped to ensure the peace of the community, they were supposed to be out for a day, to test the water, if anything happened, a portkey was ready and more heavy wards would apply.

But it turned out, most charges were only held against Lucius, Harry hadn't forgot the words from Draco's mother, there were a lot of fines that they had to pay, to help reconstruction and act as charity for orphans.

There were a lot of paper work, but four days did all the magic.

Draco returned to the villa first, while Narcissa officially took charge of Malfoy Manor, there was a lot of work, but since they had disappeared without a note for so long, it just wouldn't be appropriate when they had guest in the villa.

Draco almost saw tears in her eyes, but from what he had gathered, she hadn't cried for a while.

He would make her, some day, he would make her.

And now, he needed her to work for him.

…

September, 1999.

She had never felt more alive. Best in the past year at least.

She was working, planning, even decorating, it was not her domain, but Narcissa's, however she insisted a new perspective, especially an eye from a young girl.

A herbal tea shop named Andrea, in honor of Andromeda was opened, it was basically a potions shop for the ladies, there are always ladies in pursuit of beauty. A light dose of slimming potions, hair products, whitening products and soothing moods potions, it started with with a shop only with drinks, where ladies could relax and talk and gossip, there's always gossip, and then it developed more dishes, such as desserts and bread, it would be huge one day, all they needed was planning and to go all in.

Decorated with yellow and white, the color of daisies, Narcissa's favorite flower, white wooden fences surrounding it, a homey feeling leaking through the egg shell curtains. Seats and tables, all mismatched and yet harmonic, waitress young and pure, it made a scenery in the streets of Saint-Paul-Trois-Châteaux.

Making profits, making her feel alive. But she could not relax just yet, for she clearly remembered, sometimes, when she thought the darkness was gone, it only hit her harder the next time.

Draco Malfoy had another agenda. Once she's alive, she could cry, once she could cry, she would be alive. Simple as that. Her birthday was coming, it would be a perfect opportunity to bring her back to her life, possibly their lives.

Malfoys all came from Slytherins, Slytherins only cared for themselves and their loved ones, and in the eyes of Narcissa and Draco, Hermione was now officially their loved one, and they would do anything for her, things she could not expect from a Gryffindor.

…

19th, September, 1999, Hermione's 20th birthday.

It was a Sunday, they closed off a little early for Hermione.

She did not want to close early, all the things in this girl's bones were work and work and cats.

But they loved her now, and would like to show her.

Hermione was greeted with a beautiful bouquet once she stepped inside the villa, presented by Draco and hand picked by Narcissa, it was so beautiful, she thought the colors of the bouquet could spread all over her, once it was handed to her.

Blood red roses, with little white flowers decorating on the side, white pearls surrounding the edge and ribbons twirling down, she thought she would turn pink.

There wasn't much of a decoration in the house, but they did make a cake. Since they owned a shop that makes cake, it made perfect excuse for them to bake a cake, It was Tiramisu, Hermione's favorite.

That day they told her that she was their family, that day they told her that she had a real life here, that day they told her, they love her, and Slytherins never let go.

That day was Hermione's rebirth.

…

November, 1999.

Changes could happen one day, could last for a while. Changes could also take a long time, and last forever.

Hermione tried to stop drinking, and stop cutting, because she had somebody to love her now. But, this was exactly the kind of change that will take a long time.

Draco told her not to worry, just take her time, he told her that, once you hold something too tightly, you have to let go slowly, for your hand may twist if you just let go.

Life was the same at the villa, it was peaceful. Narcissa gardening, Draco doing whatever amused him, and her feeding the cats, and not drinking.

It may take a long time for her to recover, but she will. She had help now. And, for a while, she smiled, and she cried, and Draco Malfoy was there.