CHAPTER 7

Scary. That would be the first word to come to Relena's mind if someone asked her to describe Catherine Bloom at that moment. The red haired woman had seen them approaching through the window as they made their way past motor homes and cages, Trowa greeting people as they went, and had run to the door with a smile. The smile did not last long, however, when she noticed the state her younger brother was in, it melted into a frown. A very angry, very frightening frown.

Relena could see Trowa swallow nervously beside her. She took his hand for a moment and gave it a reassuring squeeze, making him turn his head to look at her. He seemed confused, as if he had forgotten about her presence. 'I'm here for you' and 'It's going to be all right' were the messages her eyes and smile tried to convey. He seemed to understand for he nodded briefly, forcing a smile to his face as they reached Catherine's trailer.

"Why didn't you tell me you were sick?" were her first words. She was angry, but also upset. Relena noticed the tears that started gathering in her eyes, and Trowa flinched.

"I'm not sick, sister." He corrected her calmly, but Catherine did not look satisfied. She blinked back the tears and waited, her hands on her hips. "I just had a bad phase." Trowa did not want to elaborate, Relena could see as much.

"Hi." She interrupted, offering her hand and a pacifying smile to the other woman. "I'm Relena Darlian."

Slightly taken aback, Catherine's meaningful gaze lingered on her brother a moment longer, then she took the offered hand. "The Foreign Minister, right? I'm Catherine Bloom."

"Pleased to meet you."

"Likewise." The red haired woman did not return the smile, but Relena was grateful she did not glare either. "Shall we?" she asked motioning them into her home.

The space was very limited. There was a small bathroom to the left as soon as you stepped inside, straight ahead there was a nearly improvised kitchen and to the right a television, a loveseat, a coffee table and the 'bedroom'. Relena sat beside Trowa on the loveseat while Catherine pulled herself a portable chair from behind the door and placed it by the television, facing her uninvited guests.

"Would you like some coffee? Tea? Water?" she asked out of obligation.

"Coffee would be nice." Trowa said forcing out a smile.

"I'm good. Thank you." Relena dismissed the offer, hoping to get rid of the other woman's cold gaze as soon as possible. She could sense Catherine was displeased about her presence… Earlier, when they were renting a car at the spaceport, she had offered to wait in the vehicle, but Trowa had insisted he needed her there. He was probably right… By the look on his sister's face, if the blonde woman had not been present, Trowa would have already been grilled.

It did not take more than a minute for their host to be back with two cups of coffee. She handed one to her brother and held onto the other as she took her seat. "So… A bad phase, huh?" Catherine sounded calmer now, but there was also a touch of bitterness to her voice. Relena wondered if Trowa had heard it too… His sister obviously wished he would trust her more, share his life with her.

"Really bad." He smiled sadly, hiding his discomfort by sipping his coffee.

"How's college?" was the following question and the red haired woman's voice took a more cheerful tone. She even smiled somewhat hopefully. Relena felt really sorry for Trowa at that moment. She wanted to take his hand again like she had done earlier, but a gesture that had felt so natural before… In front of Catherine would look…suspicious. The blonde woman frowned wondering why that was.

Trowa avoided his sister's gaze for as long as he could, but just when he seemed to have gathered enough courage to speak she beat him to it. "Janelle's dog is sick. She told me just yesterday. I said you would be here today and that, if you were willing, I would send you to take a look."

"Catherine…" he shook his head, his tone almost pleading. She sounded so proud of him. Relena could see how much it hurt him now… Why he thought he had disappointed them… There was so much expectation, and he just didn't want to hurt his only sister. "I…"

"If you go now you should be able to catch her home."

Defeated, he nodded and conjured up a mirthless smile. "I'll be right back." He told Relena before abandoning his cup of coffee and walking out of the trailer.

The blonde woman turned to her remaining companion with uneasiness. She had handled plenty difficult adversaries throughout her political career, but the way Catherine's grey eyes roamed carefully over her promised a completely new challenge. "What are you doing with my brother?" she went straight to the point, thankfully stopping the Foreign Minister from openly fidgeting.

"Trowa's my friend." Relena retorted. She could not help, but feel offended at the other woman's insinuating tone.

"Right."

"You don't believe me."

"I've seen the way you look at each other. I'm not stupid." The way they looked at each other? What did she mean? Was she really insinuating they were lovers? "You're his boss too, right?" Catherine continued. "I thought you had a fiancé."

"Boyfriend." The blonde corrected still unsure how she should respond to the other's accusations. Where were they even going with this?

"Does he know about you and my brother?"

"There's nothing between me and your brother." Relena had to make quite an effort to keep her tone level. This woman was getting very deep on her nerves, very quickly. It would not do for a politician of her status to end up involved in a cat fight, but she sort of wanted to… "I care a lot about him as a friend and am here to support him. That's all there is."

"It's a secret then." Catherine concluded, apparently not listening to a word the blonde had just said. "Listen here, Ms. Darlian… If you hurt my brother…" her grey eyes narrowed dangerously, and Relena immediately remembered that the red haired woman was a knife thrower. One of the best, according to Trowa. It did not bode well for her… "There'll be hell to pay. Do you understand?"

"I understand."

"Good."

A heavy silence fell between them then and Relena claimed Trowa's abandoned coffee as her own if only to give herself something to do. If Catherine saw that as another proof of their romantic involvement, she did not know and did not care. The red haired woman would assume whatever she wanted regardless of what the blonde said or did.

It was an awfully long time before Trowa came back, but Relena refused to break the silence. The two women seemed to either glare or ignore each other as they waited, and the tension grew so thick a knife could have cut through it. They practically jumped out of their seats when the welcoming sound of familiar footsteps broke their bubble.

Trowa eyed them warily before returning his boss' forced smile and reclaiming his seat. He cleared his throat awkwardly, but did not complain about Relena stealing his coffee. "Catherine, the reason I have come here is to tell you that I…" there was a pause. The blonde bit her lip afraid he would lose his focus. Thankfully, Catherine did not interrupt. She merely watched him patiently. Relena noticed she did not even look curious, probably believing she already knew what he would say. As if he would travel all the way there to tell her he was having an affair… "I dropped out."

"What?" the red haired frowned confused.

"I dropped out of college."

"You did what?" her eyes widened incredulously. "Why?"

"I… I had to. I'm sorry." At this point he looked away no longer able to sustain her gaze. "I didn't fit in, Cathy. It wasn't right."

"But you were almost done… Couldn't you have at least gotten your degree?" she was nearly pleading. Relena did not blame her, but it made her angry. Couldn't she see Trowa blamed himself enough already? Would Catherine have hell to pay for hurting her own brother? The Foreign Minister thought it would be only fair if she did.

"I know… I tried, but I just couldn't do it anymore." He shook his head sadly and apologized yet again.

"God, Trowa…" she stood, abandoning her cup on the coffee table then wringing her hands as she made her way to the kitchen, fighting back tears. When she turned back to them her eyes were red, but she seemed to have herself back under control. "Could we…" she cleared her throat. "Could we speak in private? Please?"

The last word was added as an afterthought, but Relena was already surprised she had even bothered to ask. She gave Trowa a reassuring smile. "I'll go take a look around."

"Thank you." He nodded, and she left them alone.

She did not feel good about leaving Trowa, but she knew the hardest part was done with and he was hardly in danger under his overprotective sister's watch. They had private things to discuss, Relena understood, still she wanted to be there with him.

As she strolled around the camp, she thought about Heero and wondered what he was doing. Did she want to be there with him? No, certainly not. He had been driving her insane… Growing colder and distant, keeping secrets… She did not need that in her life, she had enough worries as it was. Maybe it was time to end things between them. Time to go back to being 'just friends'.

Relena was both happy and scared to realise that the thought of breaking up with Heero did not bother her at all. What would she do then? Move back to her apartment surely… Not that she had taken that many things to the boys' place. Heero spent the night at her place just as often as she did at his. Which reminded her… She would have to ask him back for the keys she had given him or maybe change the lock. No, she could do neither. He was her bodyguard after all and he might need the copies in case there was an emergency.

"God, how I wished I did not need bodyguards…" she sighed as she paused in front of a cage where a big lioness slept soundly. The feline opened an eye at Relena's complaint, but did not seem touched by the young woman's predicament.

"That's Ayo." Trowa's voice startled her. "Sorry."

"I'm used to it." She waved it off, remembering the countless times Heero had snuck up on her. He did it on purpose, she was sure of it. "You were fast."

He shrugged. "Not much to say, I guess."

She could sense he did not want to talk about it. At least not yet. "Ayo. That's a pretty name."

"Means 'joy' in Western African." Trowa gave the lioness one of his rarest smiles. Relena admired the tenderness she could see in his eyes. She had always known he had a big and beautiful heart, but he rarely showed it to anyone. He kept it locked tight, and she suspected Kate had something to do with it. The girl had to be blind…or stupid.

"Trowa? May I ask you a question? It's about Kate."

"Go on." He said simply, not meeting her eyes as he crouched to pet Ayo as if she were a harmless kitten.

Torn between worrying about him losing a limb and formulating her question, Relena hesitated. It was only when he glanced curiously at her over his shoulder that she snapped out of her trance. He always made her feel so…young and naïve. "Why do you think it didn't work out between you? You said something about her family being religious once…"

"Well… Not as much religious as conservative, I guess." Trowa stood up, meeting her gaze. The topic did not seem to upset him, and she was relieved. "It is no secret that I was an Oz soldier at a certain point even thought I was truly undercover… Kate's family, they are pacifists. Radical ones. They would not want their daughter anywhere near a former soldier, but I'm still not sure that is the reason we didn't work out. Sometimes I think it's just an excuse I made up because I needed a logical reason, an answer… It was the only way I could accept that I had no chance and effectively move on."

Relena nodded quietly. She understood what he meant for she was quite sure she had created excuses to help herself move on countless times as well. They were only human after all. "Would you like to go out for dinner…and a drink?"

He raised his eyebrows at her, looking amused. Then his eyes moved down to the lighter he had been turning around in his hand and Relena could see he had read her intentions. She really didn't want him to smoke, she wanted to share a meal and a couple of drinks with him and, hopefully, he would open up to her. Now that Trowa had deduced her plans, she wondered what his answer would be.

"The hotel where we're staying has a very good restaurant." He said, and the lighter went back to the pocket of his jeans. She returned his smile with one of her own.

OxOxO

Heero had come to him that first night in Sanc… Relena had brought it up, she had asked about Trowa, said he was considered MIA since the battle with Wing Zero. Quatre did not blame her, she could not really know what had truly happened there, and she had given him hope. She too believed gundam Heavyarms' pilot was alive and she was using her power and influence to search for him. Still, it hurt. He hurt, and Heero knew. Quatre wasn't entirely sure how, but he did.

The blonde knew the other would come, but he had locked the door anyway… He wanted to see how far Heero was willing to go, how much he wanted to be with him. It took him less than 10 seconds to pick the lock with hardly a sound, and Quatre forgot all thoughts about Trowa the moment their eyes met and his heart decided to start doing some crazy dance. He had not really expected this to continue… Not after they left the camp and, especially not in Sanc, under Relena's nose and with so many girls around. Surely Heero would rather kiss one of them?

Quatre sat on the bed, waiting… He watched the other youth take a seat beside him and realised they fit rather comfortably on the single sized mattress. When Heero's mouth sought his he did not hesitate, meeting the other's lips already open mouthed and demanding. There was no need to be chaste about it now… At that point, they knew each other's mouths as well as they knew their own.

Heero's hand accidentally brushed over his nipple and he moaned. It was the most wanton sound he had ever emitted, one he had not even known he was capable of producing, and they both pulled away. For a long moment, they stared at each other, panting… Afraid to cross the boundaries they had not discussed, but had still imposed. When he finally snapped out of it, he took Heero's hand, which remained paralyzed where it had stopped after flinching away from him, and led it to the place where he wanted it the most. Even over the pyjamas he wore to bed, the touch felt otherworldly and he could not help, but to continue making those embarrassing mewling sounds as he busied himself unbuttoning the other youth's uniform shirt. The tie was already gone… Heero must have left it in his own bedroom.

Though he wanted to feel his teammate's skin under his fingers he was suddenly hesitant… The other pilot always seemed to have a wall of reserve around him and Quatre was not sure Heero would be happy if it was breached. Apparently, he did not have such a wall himself for the other's hand had snuck into his pants before he could realise what was happening. If he was mewling before, now he had to bite his finger lest he be heard by his bedroom neighbours.

Heero kissed him again, hungrily. Quatre could barely think… The other pilot, who seemed to have read his earlier hesitation, unzipped his own trousers and led the blonde's hand to him. He broke the kiss for a second to let out a groan of approval. It was Quatre's undoing. This wasn't just anyone he was touching so intimately… This was Heero Yuy.

They watched the soiled sheets and clothes for a long time as they regained their breaths, hoping they would somehow magically wash themselves. The blonde sighed, knowing he would have to do the cleaning himself. The next time he would wait already naked, then at least his pyjamas would be spared. That thought still made him blush 10 years later.

"Sleep in my bedroom tonight." Heero said simply, no emotion in his voice. Quatre moved to his teammate's bedroom then and what was supposed to be a one night arrangement turned into a permanent thing.

"What am I going to do?" he asked Khadija's angelic face as he bounced with the baby around the nursery. She started crying again, and Quatre had to blink back his own tears. He had known he wanted Heero, he had told Trowa as much, but now he realised just how much he actually needed him. Not wanted… needed. "When did this happen?"

"Quat'?" Duo peeked in and his smile turned sympathetic the moment he saw the distressed, almost desperate, look on the blonde's face. "Can't catch a break, can ya'?"

Quatre was relieved to realise it was Khadija his friend was talking about. "I'm sorry… Did she wake you up?"

"Naw!" Deathscythe's former pilot waved a hand dismissively as he stepped all the way inside. "'Fei woke me up… The bastard. Oh, sorry, 'Dija. You shouldn't learn those kinds of words…yet."

The blonde's glare regained its intensity at that. Thankfully, for Duo, Quatre's glares rarely lasted more than a few seconds. "I don't know why she's being so difficult…" he complained in what nearly sounded like a whine.

"You're tired." That was only part of it, but the blonde did not feel like enlightening his friend. He also felt irritable and had to bite back a rude remark at the obvious observation. "Let me see if I can get her to calm down?"

Duo was surprised at how easily Quatre handed him the now wailing baby, but he was also seemed pleased at the amount of trust he was receiving. It was important that the blonde did not grow overprotective or he might end up suffocating Khadija as she grew up.

"Thank you, Duo." He said before he walked out and, though preoccupied, his smile was genuinely grateful. "I'll see if I can order something for lunch… I don't really feel like cooking today."

"Don't fret. We'll be fine. Just go get some rest and we'll grab lunch later."

"Thank you." Quatre repeated. He had been starting to regret having invited all his friends at once, but suddenly he felt…blessed. Yes, there was no other word for it.

With a sigh, he stepped out and went in search of Heero. He would not be able to rest before he had sorted out what had happened earlier and why it had happened. Iria would have wanted him to face his troubles and deal with them logically like the businessman he was. Though lately he had been wondering about his job as well… What if he did give up on it to pursue his dream of being a chef? How would a chef deal with a situation like this? Surely they were allowed to be more passionate than businessmen. They had to be.

He found Heero in the terrace, leaning over the railing and staring thoughtfully at the city below. Quatre could feel his weariness or was it his own? Could he be as troubled as the blonde about what had happened? Maybe even more so? After all, he had Relena…and he had said he no longer thought about them, about what had happened… If so, then what could have motivated that kiss? Did he want to know?

"Why?" he asked, locking the glass door behind him.

"Why what?" Heero did not even turn to look at him.

"Why did you kiss me?" Quatre demanded irritated, and the other man finally turned around to meet his gaze.

"Because I wanted to."

Had Heero been this impulsive during the war? When had he become the 'I-do-what-I-want-when-I-want' kind of guy? "Why?" the blonde repeated. "Why did you want to?"

"Because I want you." The conviction in his eyes made Quatre shiver delightfully, but he somehow managed to hold himself together.

"Why do you want me?" he insisted. The answers he was receiving just weren't good enough.

"Because you make me feel." Heero took a step forward as he spoke. He seemed unable to convey the intensity of those feelings, and Quatre could sense how it distressed him. "You make me feel so many different emotions, sometimes I wonder if they are even my own."

So that was it… The blonde had always felt Heero's emotions, but the thought that the other man might be able to feel his as well had never crossed his mind… It was Quatre's emotions that he was feeling and they were confusing him. "Heero…" he sighed and forced a small smile onto his face, though he was relieved he was also…disappointed. "I think these emotions you've been feeling… I think they might be mine."

Instead of being surprised like Quatre had expected him to be, Heero raised an eyebrow. "And?" he asked.

"What do you mean 'and'?"

"What does it matter whether the emotions are yours or mine?"

"Of course, it matters! How would you feel if you discovered Relena's with you because you are in love with her and not because she is in love with you?"

"I'm not."

"What?"

"In love with her."

Quatre gasped. What else could he do? Heero was so… He made everything seem so… Irrelevant. "Why… Why are you with her then?"

He shrugged. "I did not know you had to be in love with someone to be with them…"

Apparently not, the blonde mused. "Does she know? You think she would still be with you if she knew you don't love her?"

"Why would she assume I loved her?" he frowned. "I never told her I did."

"Because it's implicit." Quatre was feeling frustrated all of a sudden. He knew Heero wasn't an expert when it came to relationships and feelings and the like, but he had never thought he could be this clueless either… Or was it just callousness? Could he actually feel guilty for not loving Relena and be using those excuses to relieve his conscience? That would give the situation a whole new perspective… "Why don't you love her? I mean… Why do you think you don't love her? Is it because she's a…"

"A woman? No, that's not it."

"Have there been other…men? After me, I mean." He was blushing and he did not know why… Was he ashamed of being not only worried about his friend, but also maddeningly curious?

"No, I don't really like men." Came the serious answer. As if Heero gave any other kind.

The blonde gapped, then frowned. "What's that supposed to mean? Do you think I look like a woman? Do you think of me as a woman?"

His anger seemed to catch Heero off guard for the former pilot 01 frowned. "You misunderstand."

"Do I?"

"You are the only man I've ever been interested in. You are the exception."

Quatre's frown deepened. It was flattering and oddly romantic…for Heero anyway, but he still wasn't buying it. "So it's a blonde green-blue eyed pacifist thing?" He could practically see the other man roll his eyes. "Okay, I get it… I make you feel. Another exception, I suppose…"

"Why are you being so…" Heero shook his head, clearly frustrated.

"So what?"

"Difficult?"

"Because I want you to love me because you love me and not just because I love you." He waved his arms exasperatedly, hoping he did not sound as crazy out loud as he did in his head.

"You love me?" somehow Heero still managed to look poker faced as he asked that.

"Was that all you got from what I just said? No, of course I don't. I was just… I was being hypothetical." Quatre fought back a blush at his misstep. The worst part of it though was that he wasn't entirely sure himself how he felt about his fellow ex-pilot.

"I don't know how to do that." Heero said after a while.

"Do what?"

"Separate your feelings from mine."

The blonde sighed. At least of one thing he was sure… His friend did not love Relena. Would he be willing to break with her though? He wasn't so sure. It was easier said than done, but then again… That was Heero Yuy and if their confrontation had proven anything it was that the perfect soldier had a very unique approach when it came to relationships.

"Maybe we should keep our distance and, with time, you might be able to assess your own feelings without my acting as a beacon or a bridge or whatever it is I do." Wing's former pilot did not look pleased, but he did not say anything either. Quatre wanted to touch him…kiss him… No, he wanted to do much more than that. He quickly unlocked the door and stepped inside. "I need… I should… I'll just go."

He nearly tripped before he realised he was walking backwards, unable to break Heero's gaze. If he was being difficult then the brown haired man was being just as much so. The blonde forced himself to turn around and strolled back to his bedroom. A 15 minute nap would do him good if he could stop Heero's words from echoing inside his head… Hopefully, Duo would survive until then.