Hello all! It's been a while! Well, this is my second day of being home sick from school, so I figured I'd finish the chapter and get it up for you all! Reviews would make me feel better :) Oh, and after a long while of thinking, watching, and studying pictures of Lisbon's hair during The Mentalist (more season 3, since that's where this is mostly taking place, before the whole Hightower thingy) I have come to the conclusion that she indeed has dark brown hair. When you look at pictures where the light is hitting it full on, it gets very brown, just like recent pictures of Robin at a basketball (?) game, her hair is pretty brown. So, ya. I might be wrong, but, that's what's staying in the story. I've also decided that if my english teacher ever assigns a creative writing assignment, I'm going to change the names and the whole CBI thing and turn this in. "Here is my 40 page story! Have fun reading and correcting this bitch of an assignment!" :) I'm kind of looking forward to that :)

Soooo thank you to Jisbon4ever, 24Mentalistlover, Mentalgal, Anon, madcloisfan, MJ2387, CY-463, Katelyn, usetacebrown, kate, xanderseye, fruityloops156, Juliette101, and kate (again? :D) Be expecting replies to all of your reviews like you usually get before I post, but I've been so busy today I haven't had time! But you'll get them, I promise!

Thank you for everyone who's sticking with this story, I love you all!

(I made a list of disclaimers to use a while back… let's use one now, shall we? Hmmm…)

Disclaimer- I don't own it… but it'd probably give me something better to do on weekend!

(boy, aren't I witty! ;P lol)

ENJOY! (pleaseeee review, please?)

Chapter 7

The buzzing from her alarm clock jolted Lisbon awake. Feeling around on the buttons of the alarm, she hit the snooze and buried her face into her pillow. A foreign texture she felt against her face caused her to sit up and turn on the light. And there it was, the start to what she had been expecting since she started her chemo five weeks earlier: a clump of her dark brown hair lay on her pillow. She sighed and collected it in her hands. It wasn't that much, but she knew the rest would come sooner or later.

Dr. Mordan had explained that a few patients don't end up losing their hair, if their hair cells didn't rapidly grow like most, because those are the types of cells the chemo drugs attack. After her fourth week, he had mentioned she might be one of the lucky few. Unfortunately, he was wrong.

Lisbon stood and walked to her bathroom, throwing the clump of hair into the trash on her way. Examining her head in the mirror, she found that she couldn't even see where the hair had fallen from. Relaxing a bit, she stepped into the shower and as she washed her hair, no matter how gently, more hair became loose and gathered in the drain. The wet hair stuck to her hands and she struggled to get it off. Wrapping herself in a towel and tussling her hair with another, she walked to mirror, the thinning of her hair much more noticeable now at her part. She began brushing it, very gently, and watched as the hair gathered at the drain in her sink and in her brush.

The morning was just all around bad. After pulling her hair back in a way to make the thinner spots unnoticeable, she proceeded into her bedroom to get dressed and noticed how much weight she had actually lost. The pants she had just worn a few weeks earlier were already pretty big for her and her hip bones stuck out a lot more than they did before. Her appetite had not come back any more after she started chemotherapy, it had worsened, and after treatments, she couldn't keep food down for about two days. Granted, she had only had three sessions so far, but it was still enough to make a drastic change on her life.

Sitting at her counter, she spooned a couple scoops of Special K into her mouth as her phone vibrated once next to her.

Abbey Foster (5:38am)- don't overdo urself at work, remember we've got ur second annual 'last supper' meal tonight, you're gunna wanna eat all you can before tomorrow xP

Lisbon smiled at the text. Placing her spoon in her bowl, she grinned as she replied back:

Teresa Lisbon (5:40am)- don't worry, I'm planning for today to be an easy one, I'm sending Jane out on the field as much as I can to get peace and quiet at HQ. Tonight at 6, right?

Abbey Foster (5:44am)- haha good, although you're gunna give up all that staring at him time xP yup, ur place at 6, Chinese food, yum!

Teresa Lisbon (5:46am)- shut up, I do not stare at him. :P and yes Chinese! I'm actually holding my breakfast down this morning, so I should be all good for tonight :)

Abbey Foster (5:47am)- sure u don't, sure :) and that's good, just try not to work too hard today! I'll see u later, I'm off to the ER

Teresa Lisbon (5:50am)- alright, and I'm off to HQ, bye :)

Lisbon slid her phone into her pocket and finished her cereal, topping it off with five pills Dr. Mordan had prescribed to her to ease the side effects of the chemo. Two of them dealt with drowsiness, which was something Lisbon had a hard time handling. It was hard to be a cop who had to pay attention to every little detail while the only thing you could really focus on was trying to stay awake. After her cocktail of pills, she grabbed her badge, gun and jacket and was out the door.

OoO

By that night, Lisbon still had her appetite and looked forward to the moment when Abbey would arrive at the door with the sweet smell of the Chinese food they had previously decided on. She walked around her apartment, cleaning the things she had sprawled out around the room. She fluffed the pillows on her couch and straightened the rugs on the floor. The place looked a lot better than it did the last time Abbey had been there. Lisbon wasn't used to company, even though her apartment was always relatively clean.

Abbey finally arrived at five past six and Lisbon helped her carry the mass amount of food to the kitchen. They set the food on the counter and Abbey turned for a hug.

"How are you feeling today?" she asked as they hugged. "Oh and I picked up your prescription of pain meds from Dr. Mordan today." she broke the hug and lifted the small bag from her purse.

"Much better than usual, and thank you," she faced the food, "I've been so hungry all day, though." she reached inside one of the bags and pulled out the container of orange chicken, opening it and popping one in her mouth, licking her fingers clean of the sweet, sticky sauce.

"Great, then let's get all this to the table, before you eat it all!" Abbey laughed, and they began unloading the containers onto the counter. Moving as fast as they could, they got all the food on Lisbon's table relatively quickly and were both sitting down not 15 minutes later with full plates that were disappearing quickly. Lisbon was telling Abbey a story about Jane after the topic of her consultant had come up.

"He had me fully convinced that we were going to die; he had everyone convinced. I had called Cho, another member of our team, and told him what was going on. I asked him to call my brother, I just, I was terrified, but I tried not to let it show. And then, he told me that if he were dying, he would call me. I asked him what he would say before the words processed in my head. He said if he was dying." Abbey tried to muffle a chuckle as her eyes widened.

"Oh god, what did you do?" she asked, clearly being amused by the story, one that still got Lisbon worked up when she thought of it.

"I punched him in the nose." she smirked, taking a bite of the greasy crab rangoon she held in her fingers.

"How can you not love that man?" Abbey laughed sarcastically.

"Oh that was not even the worst of it." she smiled, thinking back on all the things Jane had stupidly done, things that she definitely had not smiled at at the time.

"Speaking of love," Abbey started, putting down her fork and wiping her hands clean, "I have new news about mine."

"Oh really?"

"Well, you know how he came home for two weeks last month?" Lisbon nodded, and Abbey continued, "Well, the night before he left," she paused, the smile growing across her face, "he proposed, and I said yes! We're getting married!"

"Really? Oh Abbey that's great!" she reached across the table to Abbey's outstretched hand and pulled it closer, examining the beautiful diamond Abbey was sporting on her ring finger. She looked up at Abbey's face, a smile was spread ear to ear at the thought of her fiancé.

"I am so ecstatic! He is the most wonderful man in the entire world. I don't know what I'd do without him! Oh you should have seen his proposal! It was so cute! First of all he-" she was cut off by a knock at the door.

"Sorry, I'll be right back, but remember what you were going to say-I want to hear this." Lisbon stood and walked to the door- realizing just how great she felt when she didn't get dizzy from standing up too fast, calling out that she was coming as the doorbell wrung out a few more times. When she did finally open the door, she was greeted by a smiling Jane.

"Hello Lisbon!" he said through his legendary grin, not waiting to be invited inside before stepping past her. Making his way farther inside, he stopped when his eyes fell upon a surprised Abbey sitting at a table toppled with semi-empty Chinese food boxes. "Oh, hi. I didn't know you had company. Ever."

"Funny." she glared at him, "Abbey, this is Patrick Jane, Jane this is Abbey Foster. You've met, unofficially. Abbey was my nurse at the hospital a while ago." Lisbon told Jane as he took her spot at the table.

"Oh yes, the one who approved of our non-existent relationship, yet wouldn't let me see you, I remember." he stuck out his hand to shake, which Abbey took, laughing at his bluntness, "Nice to meet you, officially."

"Yes, nice to meet you."

Jane brought his hand back, folding both of his hands in his lap and looking up a Lisbon, he looked right at home. Abbey's eyes flickered back and forth between them as she watched the scene in front of her unfold and fought to hold back a snicker when Lisbon shifted her posture, crossing her arms, and a look appeared on Lisbon's face that pretty much summer up every story she had been told about the blond man across from her.

"Jane?" Lisbon leaned forward slightly, rocking on her fight in that usual way that she hadn't felt well enough to do for a while.

"Yes?" he mocked her. She waited a moment, her eyes lowing into a deeper glare.

"Did you come for a reason? Or just to disturb my peaceful evening?"

"That's still a reason, isn't it?"

"Jane," she said slowly, in an aggravated tone, "you do not want to test me."

"Ugh, fine, grumpy. I came cause you seemed off today, not yourself, as you haven't for a while; I was coming to see how you were." he admitted. Letting his eyes wander as he confessed, they fell upon the orange bottle that Abbey had picked up for Lisbon on her way there. He squinted his eyes to read the white label wrapped around the center of it. "Teresa Lisbon" and "Pain Medication" was all he could read, and all he needed to read before worry and concern took over and he grabbed it and looked at it closer.

"Oh, well tha-" Lisbon began before her grabbed the bottle, but stopped as he picked it up.

"What are these for? Are you okay?" he asked with concern. She snatched the bottle from him before he reached the part in the description that mention 'chemo.' Words fumbled around in her head but she was unable to come up with a believable, convincing lie.

"It's for pain relief in her throat," Abbey stated, "Coughing up as much blood as she had was bad not only overall, but also for her throat. It's technical medical stuff that I don't even know much about."

"Such a big lie, but convincing enough that Lisbon almost believed it herself. Jane didn't look completely convinced, but he stopped the subject.

"Ya, so that's probably why I've seemed differently lately, it's pretty painful, but it's getting better." how many lies would she have to tell? She felt bad lying to him, he obviously cared bout her. He'd figure it out, she thought, eventually. "Well, umm..." she said after a few moments of complete silence. "Do you want some food? I'm sure we could find a few things left over in here." she slid the small bottle in her pocket and began rummaging through the different boxes that littered the table, finding just a few more pieces of food left over.

"No, no, that's okay, I better get going." he stood abruptly and crossing Lisbon, he was opening her front door before she even left the dining room. "I'll talk to you later."

"Bye, Jane." she said, sitting back in her seat, placing her head in her hands.

"It was nice meeting you!" Abbey shouted into the other room, and Jane responded by slamming the front door. "Teresa, you okay?" she noticed her friend's ill look from across the table. Lisbon nodded, rubbing her face with her hands before, looking up.

"I just hate all the lying. I just wish this was all over with."

"It will be before you know it, you'll be better in no time and then you wont have to lie about anything." Abbey said supportively. "Now," she continued, "let's finish eating all of this, you need all the food you can get before tomorrow, because we both know you will not be hungry after chemo."

"I don't even want to think about that." Lisbon sat up and grabbed an egg roll for her plate and smiled contently as the scent spread throughout the room. "But you are right, let's eat."

"Of course I'm right, I'm always right." she smiled.

"Now," Lisbon said around her bite of the egg roll, "tell me about that proposal."

OoO

Abbey had been right, of course, and after Lisbon's chemo, it was almost too painful for her to walk. She hated the way the chemo beat her down, when she saw some people walk out after treatment perfectly fine. She held Abbey's arm for support as they walked down the stairs in the hospital, inhaling sharply on almost every step because each brought a shooting pain through her abdomen. Luckily, as she's learned over the few weeks she's been getting the chemo, this part only lasts about five hours after the treatment, which is nice until the extreme nausea kicks in.

As Abbey helped Lisbon up into the car, Lisbon had an idea.

"While I have you here," she began and she attempted to get comfortable in her seat, "would you mind taking me out to look at wigs, because I really need to do that, and it's not something I want to do alone." her eyes pleaded with her friend, although she knew Abbey would do anything for her and it probably wouldn't take too much begging, but she was in that type of mood; insecure and powerless. Her hands drifted down to her stomach and she pressed on it in an attempt to lesser the pain, which usually worked with cramps, and surprisingly worked. Very little, but it was still an improvement, and by that point Lisbon was willing to accept anything she could get.

"Are you sure you don't want to wait until you're feeling better?" Abbey asked, helping Lisbon with the seat belt, "You really don't look like you should be walking around right now."

"I need to get this done, my hair is thinning so much." taking one hand, she ran it through her hair that was laying messily down at her shoulders, even some hair pulling free during those quick moments.

"Okay, if you're sure you can take that right now, I'd be happy to go with you. But I really don't want you to be in a lot of pain, so if it gets to be too much, let me know and I'll bring you home. We can always come back tomorrow, or the next day."

"No, I want to go now."

"Alright. Watch your elbow," she warned Lisbon to move her arm before closing the car door and making her way around the car.

"Here," Lisbon looked through her purse for the pamphlet she had gotten on her first day of chemo. It had information about wigs and where to get them. Finally finding it, she handed it to Abbey and leaned back, her strength left over quickly deteriorating. She knew physically, she was not well enough to go out shopping. But mentally, she had prepared herself for this ever since her chemotherapy had begun, and she had thought about it a lot since the day before, when she had found that first clump of hair on her pillow.

Soon, they pulled up to the nearest wig shop that was listed in the pamphlet. Abbey helped Lisbon out of the car, but Lisbon refused help walking. I need to keep at least some of my dignity, she thought. Walking inside, the lulling music and the smell of incense took over her senses. Plastic heads lined the walls, each sporting a wig of a different length and colour. She and Abbey walked to the wall where most of the dark haired wigs were being displayed and compared Lisbon's hair to the small samples that were placed on a side table, each connected to a key ring. Finally finding the right shade, they began looking at the styles of wigs there were when a petite young woman came over to offer assistance.

"Hi, I'm Tammy," she greeted, "can I help you guys with anything?"

"We are looking for a wig that's the same colour and about the same style as her hair," Abbey said, gesturing to Lisbon's thinning dark brown locks.

"Sure, did you find the colour match?"

"Yes, it's B-37," Lisbon read from the hair in her hands.

"Alright, that's right over here," she led them to the other end of the wall and pointed to a section, "here's the colour you're looking for, and, I'd say your hair is a bit on the long side, so..." she walked over and stretched her tiny body to reach the wig that looked as if it were a replica of Lisbon's own hair. Finally, she grabbed it and handed it to Lisbon, "Try this on, see if you like it."

Lisbon tentatively reached out and took the wig from the younger woman. She looked at it for a second. This is what she would be wearing for, God only knew how long. She would have to keep it a secret, just another thing she'd have to worry about. Not only was the chemotherapy destroying her body, but it was destroying her looks too. Her confidence. Things that made her, herself. Putting on this wig was like accepting that her life was falling apart. That it would never be the same as it once was. Putting on this wig meant the end of the tough, fierce Senior Agent Teresa Lisbon, and marked the beginning of her life as a pathetic, weak cancer patient. She had tried to prepared herself for this, but nothing she could have done could fully prepare her. She felt a touch on her arm, and looked up, her watery emerald green eyes meeting the soft brown of Abbey's.

"It's okay, Teresa. We can come back a different time." she said comfortingly, rubbing her friend's arm. Lisbon didn't say anything, but instead shook her head. She handed the wig to Abbey as she set her hair in a bun at the top of her head and Abbey helped her get the wig on and adjust it. Abbey led her to one of the many mirrors that hung on the walls of the small building and fixed the wig as Lisbon averted her eyes from the mirror. She didn't know if she was ready for what she was about to see. The wig felt okay, maybe a little itchy at the hairline, but other than that, it was pretty comfortable. She heard Tammy's voice coming from behind her, followed by more hands messing around on her head.

"Most people shave their heads," Tammy touched the small bump at the top of the wig where Lisbon's bun was set, "so their hair doesn't bump out like this."

Now she was supposed to shave her head. At least then she'd have a bit more control over the situation, she'd be in charge of when her hair was coming off, and she wouldn't have those mornings when she'd wake up to clumps of hair anymore.

"Teresa, this looks good. Look at it." Abbey encouraged, keeping a hand placed on Lisbon's shoulder. Slowly, Lisbon looked into the mirror and examined the new hair. She almost looked exactly like she had before her hair had begun to thin. The wig had bangs at a perfect length, and just the right amount of curls near the ends to make it look as if this wig was styled just for her. The shade was just a bit darker, almost black, but it was the nearest to her natural colour that they could find, and there wasn't enough of a difference that people would notice. "What do you think?" she asked after a moment.

"I like it." the reply was more of a whisper than she had intended. "I'll get it."

"If you'll be wearing a wig on a daily basis," Tammy walked to where they had gotten the wig and picked up three boxes off the floor from beneath the bare display head, "most people get three, so there will always be one clean and you don't have to worry. Two works also, but most people feel more comfortable always having the back up." Lisbon just nodded, taking the display wig off and handing it to Tammy after Abbey grabbed the three boxes. "These wigs are made of human hair, so you'll have to keep them washed, but more on a every other day schedule because they don't get dirty as quickly as our natural hair. You can style it with a curler or a straightener just as you would with your normal hair, unlike the plastic ones that would melt if you put heat to them."

Lisbon continued to just nod. She was kind of listening, but this was all stuff she could look up later or read in the information packed that Tammy had just slipped into a bag. She shuffled around in her purse for her credit card and paid for the wigs, which were insanely pricey, and a couple accessories Tammy had insisted that she needed, and soon she and Abbey were leaving the store. Abbey had grabbed the bags and threw them in the back seat when she and Lisbon reached the car. Lisbon got in as quickly as she could and buckled, turning to face out the window. She felt sick. She felt tired. She felt as if her entire life was falling apart before her eyes and all she could do was sit back and watch. Maybe if she hadn't of just come from chemotherapy, she'd be acting a bit more rationally, but that didn't matter to her. She leaned her head on the cool car window and heard Abbey's door close.

"Are you okay?" Abbey asked cautiously.

"Mhh-hhmm." Lisbon hummed, her eyes brimming with tears.

"Teresa, if you need to cry, cry." she said supportively. That's all Lisbon needed before the first tear fell, and once one fell she couldn't stop them. The crying quickly turned to sobbing and Abbey leaned across the car to hold her friend. "I know. I know this is hard. But, you are strong. I know you are. You can handle this; you can handle anything." she hushed. "I think you just need to get home and get some sleep. Tomorrow you'll feel much better about everything, I promise you." Lisbon agreed, wiping the tears from her cheeks. Once seeing that her friend was alright, Abbey put the car in drive and began to drive in the direction of Lisbon's apartment.

Lisbon leaned her head back onto the headrest of the car seat, closing her eyes and thinking. Thinking was the last thing that she wanted to do, she didn't want to think about the cancer, the chemo, the wigs, the lying. She didn't want to think of any of it. But she did. A part of her didn't understand why the lying was affecting her so much. She had been lying for her entire life, about almost everything. Her life has been so full of secrets; her father's drinking and abusive habits, foster family problems, her relationship with Bosco, all of which now seemed so less important than the secret she was carrying around every day now. None of those affected her life, as in none of them were a matter of life or death. She could get over the abuse she got from her father and foster parents, she could leave the relationship with Bosco with her head held high. But this, this cancer. It was slowly killing her, and she knew it. But she couldn't stop it.

What did you all think? Like it? Getting tired of it? I feel like I'm writing all the same stuff over and over, but not to worry, it will be different next chapter! (I think). Her thoughts on it will change, she will not be depressed forever, just to let you know. But, it does have that type of effect on you, the whole 'why me' thing. But she'll get over that part of it soon :). I've planned out the ENTIRE story already, I just need to find out which chapters the stuff is gunna happen in :) If anyone is on Tumblr and want to get updates on how the story is coming along (cause I post about it ALL the time!) I'm frederickaquintessabiggard, which after it just needs a (dot)tumblr(dot)com and you'll find me! Follow me and send me a message lettin me know you found me on here! I'd love to talk to ALL of you (ANYONE!) about the Mentalist or Robin or Simon or Amanda or Owain or ANY OF THEM! Thanks! :D

(review? Pretty please? Pleaaaaase?)

-Devon :D