Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing and I'm not making any money here!!! PLZ don't sue, you'll only get pillows and a bunch of red polo's!

And now, what you've been waiting for! Sorry it took so long, some things came up, some things I couldn't put aside long enough to finish this. It happens.

Beyond the Grave

Chapter 7: Steal

Duo stared up at the ceiling. It was dark, there were lights on just beyond his vision so that he could see the ceiling and the top of the IV bag, but there was also a light over him that was off. It looked kind of eerie. Duo stared at the dark light and IV bag for a while, just staring at them, assuring himself that they were actually there while simultaneously waiting for them to disappear and his cell to reappear around him.

He was so used to hallucinations and false hope that the truth seemed so false to him, everything looked less real than it should have. He kept looking around for the little things that always clued him into reality, and he kept imagining that he saw them. Until he looked directly at the line between ceiling tiles, the little pull cord for the light, the way the light played in the IV bag.

Duo waited for it all to fade around him, and when it didn't he began to twitch, to test his body slowly so see how far he could move, began to try and find more. He found that it hurt no matter what he did, but the hurt varied in degree depending on what he moved. His neck protested loudly, as did his back, but his arms and hands were ready and willing.

Duo actually had a passing thought that he should be grateful to Aykan for keeping him in top physical condition, for allowing him exercise and some semblance of his former training. But the thought was brief and followed by a fresh bout of loathing that fueled Duo to try and move some more.

It was the sides on his bed that really clued him into what was turning out to not be a delusion. He found the controls for his bed on the rails, and a call button. It looked just like he remembered it. He started his bed to raise him up to a sitting position and found a window, a small bathroom and…

Duo let the bed stop, let his hands fall to his sides and stared, open mouthed and wide eyed at Wu Fei, Trowa Quatre and…

His heart rate jumped so quickly that Duo was surprised that he didn't set off some kind of alarm on his heart monitor. Duo found his breathing coming in short gasps and the throbbing in his brain quickened and pounded to this sudden change in his body.

Heero looked just as he'd left him. Just as he had that day that Duo had walked out the door with a casual wave over his shoulder. Just as he had when Duo had stolen one last glance at him in the reflection of the glass around the door…

Heero still struck him, and it wasn't just that he was handsome either, it was his mere presence, even asleep as he was now. As they all were. Heero exuded something that called attention to him, that felt of danger and power. It was like watching a caged cat, something that looked tame, that seemed safe but in reality was only inches away from ending you.

Duo swallowed hard and tore his eyes away from Heero, allowing his mind to absorb his presence and try and move on. He looked to Wu Fei, to Quatre and Trowa, letting his gaze memorize how they looked.

How Quatre's head rested on Trowa's shoulder and his hair fell across his face, curling and the brightest thing in the room. How Trowa looked the part of the gentle giant. Sloping from his chair with legs and arms sprawled, but gracefully. How even in sleep, Wu Fei still maintained his superior Zen state. His arms and legs folded neatly, his chin tilted to one side, his hair slicked back elegantly.

Duo flinched at nothing, missing his music, missing the constant that usually relaxed him. Music had been the only thing that had allowed Duo to remain sane, had pulled at something inside of him, keeping it safe and untouchable. Aykan had allowed the music, but only when Duo was in his cell. Everywhere else it was banned.

It was another little thing that clued Duo into the fact that he really was in this hospital. He would have heard his music by now. Aykan had allowed it after figuring out that it could be used as a reward system in getting Duo to do what he wanted and that it helped Duo relax from what he had that was normal for Duo. To be in a constant state of stress and anxiety.

But now, without it, the tension in Duo built and the panic started. The urge to move, to leave, to escape grew in him and started to blur his mind. Duo started to have wild thoughts. Thoughts he knew weren't based anywhere in logic and all in panic. Fight of Flight began to duke it out in his mind, information flying through his brain.

Duo quickly disabled his heart monitor and began taking the IV's out of his arms. He let them fall away and tested his legs. They still moved at his will and he ever so quietly began to shift towards the edge of his bed. He tried not to get too much blood on the covers, but knew it was already a lost battle, he'd just have to wait for the little puncture wounds on his arms left by the IVs to close up on their own.

The floor was cold and sent shivers up Duo's spine, a very old, very timid part of him sprung back to life after being dead for so long. He suddenly wanted nothing more than to lie back down, curl up under the warm covers and let everything fall back on someone else's shoulders. He had rarely, if ever, had this feeling. It was hard for him to hand the reigns over to someone else, but he had done it before.

But the only ones he had ever trusted with the reigns besides himself were sitting right here. It was such a temptation that he ached and that scared him into moving again more than anything else.

Duo knew he would have the most trouble getting by Heero, he'd always had. He already knew he could get past the others easily without them even stirring in their sleep, he'd done it often enough before. But he'd only successfully crept by Heero a few times. The man was the definition of 'hair trigger'.

Duo took a deep breath and held it and began to glide his footsteps past Heero just a hairs breath above the floor. He stayed balanced on the balls of his feet using the soft pads to keep from making any sound. He moved with the slight sway of his hospital gown to keep the fabric from brushing against his skin and avoided the edge of his bed and the edge of Heero's foot at the same time.

He let the breath out ever so slowly as he inched past Wu Fei a little quicker and took in a new breath as he let his heels touch the floor while he walked past Trowa and Quatre. Duo was there, he could find cloths somewhere, trick the nurses he passed easily, could walk out the door and not have to worry about confrontation, discussions, meltdowns, breakdowns, conflicts, arguments, raised voices, embarrassment, and everything else that would snowball on him if his comrades woke just now.

He would have made it too; he would have walked out the door and avoided the whole thing. Would have disappeared on the last people he'd thought he'd ever do that to. Would have let everything stay just the way it was hanging in that moment if he hadn't turned as he passed the open door of the bathroom.

The light outside the window proved it to be very early in the morning, when the sky was going from pale grey to palest pink. It was just enough light for Duo to see his reflection in the mirror that stared back out at him from the open door.

The bathroom was pitch black but for that mirror, the room around him was barely lit, the effect it had made Duo stumbled, but what he saw in that mirror sent him right back into shock.

He stood there, not caring how much sound his ragged breathing was making as he took shallow breaths that continued to grow quicker by the second. He stood stock still, not taking a step forward or back, just staring back at himself with his hair falling around his shoulders, but it only reached to his shoulder blades in tatters.

Duo heard a sound escape his mouth, a kind of cry that was guttural and high at the same time. Strangled coming out of his mouth, his throat closing around it even as it escaped. He reached out to the mirror, touched nothing, and brought his shaking hand back to his body and started to reach up for a strand that fell forward.

His hand shook viciously and he found he couldn't touch his hair. The sound came again, louder, but Duo didn't notice. He fell forward to his knees, sinking further down with his knees turning out from him. He reached up with both hands, shaking now from head to foot, shivering and feeling the sudden loss as a physical pain that he couldn't really explain other than to let the sound out without trying to choke it back down.

Duo grabbed fistfuls of his hair on both sides of his face, two lovely, sad faces staring down at him, crying for him, allowing him to cry. Two faces he could just barely remember, two faces he'd let die, stopped them from smiling.

Duo heard the scream start in his throat, heard it fighting to get out, heard it building up, but something still held it back, something still wouldn't let him have that moment where he could let all that was in him out. Something in him wouldn't allow that kind of weakness in public wouldn't let him mourn while he was trying to escape.

Heero came awake violently, a sound spitting the air around him and causing a forceful wave of anger, protectiveness and need crash through him. The first thing he saw was Duo, awake, out of bed, on the floor, pulling at what was left of his hair as a sound fought to get out of him. A sound Heero had never heard come out of Duo, one that never should. Something that was pure agony, pure pain.

He was shaking viciously, visibly shaking all down his back, his hands, his shoulders. Heero had a moment to wonder how Duo had gotten so far past him, and then he was up out of his chair and running for Duo.

He could distantly hear Wu Fei, Trowa and Quatre coming awake, could hear voices explaining his thoughts to each other out loud, but he didn't have time for that, he needed to get to Duo.

Pure instinct took over, need on a level Heero had only ever secretly accepted that he held in himself. Need for another man, to keep him safe, warm, happy if only he could bring him back. But Duo was there now, on the floor, leaning back into his arms as he gathered Duo to his chest and held him tightly. Holding on for both of them, holding Duo as he screamed.

Duo felt the arms around him, strong, sure, so suddenly. It was like another shock, but of a different kind. Instead of adding to the force building inside him, it broke through everything and held him tight and safe.

Duo let his tears fall, let his scream become real, let the arms hold him and keep him there on earth, keep him real. Duo accepted the comfort they were offering, if only for now. He handed over the reigns to those familiar arms, amazed at this sudden touch he'd longed for so long even as he allowed his grief to consume him. It was ok, just right then, to cry for the loss. To mourn and be vulnerable in front of so many people.

Because he knew these arms, this man, would take care of it all, would watch his back through this. Heero would.

Duo turned at that point, the arms letting him, urging him to. And Duo flung himself at Heero, screaming into his shoulder and allowing his rage to join his grief. The pain doubled, tripled, leapt through him at alarming rates, but Duo just held on to Heero, willing this to be real, for his mind to know the truth, even in all the pain it wrought on him.

This was real. Even in his hallucinations Heero had never been this warm, this firm, had never smelled of soap, gun oil and flesh. After all his waiting, after he'd given up, after he'd accepted death, he was finally in Heero's arms.